Rukia had done so well all day. Rangiku had been very pleased with herself and sure that her methods of therapy were far superior to Byakuya's. Why she'd even gotten Rukia to participate in a long conversation at dinner, but she should have realized it wasn't going to last.
Kaien came by just after dinner which was so nice because Rukia finally got to see that the fears that came from her broken memories of Tosen fighting her lieutenant were groundless; he had not fallen in her defense. That was good for her, but then Kaien had shared the reason for his visit and yet a few more hours delay to his return to the World of the Living. Captain Ukitake had barely made it back from Hueco Mundo. Lieutenant Kotetsu had rushed him directly to the Fourth, and Kaien had been told to bring Nemu there immediately.
Kaien had tried to laugh it off saying something about Ukitake's health being a bit of a two steps forward, one back progress but everyone had to remember he was much better than a year ago. Everyone had immediately agreed, and they all agreed there really was nothing to worry about, but the mood after he left with Miyako and Nemu was subdued. And Rukia had fallen silent.
Kin-chan was extra silly and difficult with guests in the house, and Yukiko was as difficult as she always was in the evenings, so Rangiku didn't have much time to notice how Rukia was doing. She was rushing about trying to get Kin-chan bathed and read to and into bed while trying to soothe a crying baby, and even when Toshiro finally got home and took over Kin-chan's bedtime story she was still walking Yuki around the garden singing to her for nearly an hour before the exhausted infant finally gave in and fell asleep.
It was close to ten when she finally made it back to the living room with a pot of hot tea--she would have preferred sake, but she was being nice to Renji who Byakuya had threatened with bodily injury if he found out he'd been drinking when he was supposed to be watching Rukia. So she brought a tea tray with green tea and sweet bean cakes and sank down to a well-deserved rest before bath and bed and looked over to see Rukia twisting her fingers in her short hair while Renji was trying to distract her with stories he'd heard from Ichigo of her time in the World of the Living.
"Why was my captain in Hueco Mundo, Renji?" she asked, and Rangiku could tell from Renji's expression that it wasn't close to the first time she had asked. "No one goes to Hueco Mundo."
"Don't worry about it, Rukia," Renji answered, looking up at Rangiku for help. "Leave it to the captains to take care of. You don't need to worry about it."
"But Captain Ukitake was hurt," Rukia said. "Kaien said he was."
"Nah, he just got sick," Renji answered. "You know how he it. Got his own room at the Fourth he's there so often. Nothing to worry about though."
Rukia nodded and for a few minutes she was sat silently twisting her fingers in her hair.
"But why would he go, Renji?" She asked again, just when Rangiki was starting to feel like she might be starting to unwind from a too long day.
Renji reached up to still her hand. "The captains have to take care of some problems, that's all. You gotta stop worrying about it."
Rangiku was horrified to see that in the time since dinner Rukia had managed to thin the hair above her ear twisting it around and around her finger and tugging out hairs as she twisted it too tight.
"I know," Rukia agreed. "I'm not worried. I--I know. The captains can take care of it. I keep getting confused. I feel like--I don't know. I'm sorry."
"Nothing to be sorry about. You're fine," Renji answered, but he kept hold of her hand.
Rangiku felt terrible. They'd been avoiding causing Rukia this kind of distress by keeping her from any of the current events. She had forgotten most of the earlier fighting, and had been left with only the faintest shreds of memories that Renji and Byakuya had explained as simply as possible. They had avoided any mention of Aizen or Hueco Mundo, instead allowing Rukia to blame Tosen for what she seemed to think had been some sort of insurrection. She did not remember her own conviction or sentence or even her imprisonment. Byakuya had even told her the reason Kaien had been defending her had been because of her weakness due to giving Ichigo her power and not because she, herself, was the target. And they had not told her where Gin and Byakuya were going.
It had all seemed somewhat foolish to Rangiku until now. She could see how much the idea of anyone going to Hueco Mundo was upsetting Rukia. Clearly on some level the girl was being reminded of her own nightmare trip to the world of Hollows. Some tiny remnant of a memory was being triggered. Any shinigami would think going to Hueco Mundo wasn't the best of ideas, but it was hard to worry too much when the ones going were captains.
"Rukia," she said gently. "How about I wash your hair, and you take a nice soak in the tub? It really is a lovely tub. RD designed it to be like a hot tub from the World of the Living; that's a sort of artificial hot spring."
Rukia dropped her eyes, looking down at the table while she spoke. "Thank you, Rangiku-san, but I've never really liked hot springs. I won't need a turn in the bath."
"She's not going to leave you on your own," Renji said softly.
"Of course not," Rangiku said with forced cheerfulness. She'd turned down Byakuya's offer to host Rukia's maid as well. Rukia could not handle more than a couple minutes on her own and she'd had a maid taking her to baths and sleeping in her room and dressing her, basically taking care of her like she was a small child. Rangiku had figured she could handle it since she already had a few of those, but at the of the end of the day when she was already exhausted it was sounding like a lot bigger pain in the neck. "Come on. You can soak in the bath while I give myself a proper spa treatment. I haven't bothered to do anything for my skin since Yuki was born."
In the end Rukia gave in and took a bath, and it did seem to calm her down. She stopped twisting her hair and mentioning Hueco Mundo every few minutes. And when she went to bed she fell asleep after only a few minutes. It seemed like the first day might have been a success.
Until three o'clock in the morning when Rukia woke up screaming. Then Yuki started screaming, and Rangiku even heard Kin-chan startling awake in the next room. If it hadn't been for Renji and Toshiro, Rangiku herself might have joined in.
She could hear Toshiro calming his brother down, and Renji appeared almost instantly. He had to have been sitting up waiting for it he arrived so quickly. He rushed through the dark room to Rukia's side and caught hold of her, letting her sob against his chest as he told her she was alright and nothing she had seen was real. Rangiku left him to it, too busy quieting the baby to worry too much about Renji or Rukia.
At least Yuki didn't take too much convincing to agree to nurse back to sleep, and after a few minutes the only sounds were Rukia's gradually fading sobs and Renji's reassurances.
Rangiku was soon wishing she could fall back to sleep as quickly as Yuki because Renji and Rukia seemed to have forgotten she was there. A gentle kiss on the forehead that Byakuya probably would have objected to but really was perfectly acceptable shifted quickly to some pretty intense and clearly practiced kissing. She was torn between being impressed that they could pull something like this off right under Byakuya's nose and the hope that they weren't planning on taking things any further because she really would have to interrupt, and that seemed like it would be pretty awkward for everyone concerned.
Fortunately, Rukia finally broke away. "I'm sorry I'm such a coward," she said, turning away from him.
"Now who's being stupid?" Renji demanded, catching hold of her arm and trying to pull her back. "You've been through a lot. It's ok to be scared when bad things happen to you."
"Why do you bother with me? I'm not worth it. So I got hurt; a lot of people got hurt, didn't they? Even Nii-sama. They're not having nightmares and crying all the time. I'm just weak."
"Don't say that!" Renji jerked her back against him and wrapped his arms tight around her waist and shoulders, so tight she could barely move. "Don't ever--"
Rukia cut him off with a terror-filled gasp of "No!"
He released her instantly and she scrambled away in a panic, stopping only when she reached the wall. Only when she turned back and looked at him did her terrified expression shift to horror and grief. "Oh, Renji, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so stupid and crazy. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm so, so sorry."
"I'm sorry. I scared you. I shouldn't have--"
"No, it's me. I'm broken, everything is broken. I need to remember."
"No, you don't," Renji protested. "You don't, Rukia. You're going to be fine. Just let it go."
Rangiku sighed as they went back and forth, Rukia desperate to remember and Renji desperate to stop her. It made Rangiku miss her own angsty romance. She was too used to Gin being absent to feel really lonely, but still, she really wished he could finally reach a place where he could always be home, safe beside her.
"I don't care if you stay, Renji," Rangiku said, finally, "But you need to shut up. Yuki's going to be waking me up in a couple hours for breakfast."
Both young people fell silent abruptly. Then Renji scrambled to his feet apologizing. "I'm so sorry, Rangiku-san. I forgot--I mean--I shouldn't--I--"
"Shoo! I want to sleep," Rangiku informed him and turned her back to the pair.