AN: Thanks to JDUBZ for the usual awesome Beta Reader editing he does to be awesome

Chapter 11: Her Cold, Dead Smile

May 15, 2015

10:12am

Huddled around the radio, the five survivors listened carefully as a broadcast stated that almost all Safe Zones were either decommissioned due to infection or completely over run by the infected. Some, however, stayed.

"I repeat, Safe Zone Elko, Nevada is free from infection. Any and all uninfected survivors are advised to make their way there immediately. Food, water, and shelter will be given to any that make it. Thank you and good luck."

It was official. The closest Safe Zone was in Nevada. With most of the western states infected and crawling with walkers, the only hope anybody had was going there and making it to safety in the north eastern states. This was something Quarke knew was the only chance he had to save the ones he loved.

"We have to go as soon as possible." Quarke turned off the radio they had been listening to and walked to the other side of the basement.

Ram, who was now cured of the flu, nodded and went to follow her father. Behind her, Rem tagged along.

Subaru looked at Emilia and smiled as she gave him a nervous look, not liking the idea of leaving the house. But this had been the plan for the last week. Quarke and Subaru had already prepared the group for a long road trip by funneling gas from cars and scavenging for canned food in various houses. Luckily, just yesterday Subaru was able to find a house that belonged to one of his classmates down the road. That was where he was able to find clothing that fit Emilia and even took some of the father's clothes too that were just a tad bit too large. Quarke found clothes for Rem, Ram, and himself in a few other houses. They were all set and ready to go at a moment's notice.

Subaru and Emilia approached the family of three and began packing up. As Emilia started to place her clothes into a suitcase, Quarke called out to her and Subaru, "Don't worry you two, we've got it from here. Just go pack up the car, we'll be there after we finish up."

Looking at each other for a second, Subaru and Emilia nodded and thanked Quarke before moving to exit the basement.

After checking if the coast was clear, Subaru walked out of the house to go to the garage, Emilia right behind him.

She looked in every direction, scanning every inch of anything she saw because she was scared. Never in her life had she been so scared to go outside into the sun. If the walkers were everywhere, then who wasn't to say they weren't behind every house she saw, waiting for the right moment to charge.

However, the feeling of fear disappeared when she felt Subaru grasp onto her hand. She looked away from the street and to Subaru's reassuring eyes. The worry she once felt melted away. Subaru would protect her.

With the bat in one hand and Emilia's hand in the other, Subaru walked at a fast pace to the garage. He placed the bat on the floor and released Emilia's warm hand. Bending down, he curled his fingers under the garage door and pulled up slowly.

The resulting squeaks from the rusty wheels scraping against rusty bars made Emilia look around the street, alarmed. She was worried the noise might attract any unwanted visitors.

"Subaru…."

"I know. I know."

The squeals of the garage door resonated throughout the dead silent street. So when Subaru finished, he retrieved his bat and turned, half expecting walkers to shamble out of their houses.

Thankfully, none came.

Relief. That's how Subaru would've described the feeling. However, when he turned, the relief he felt was replaced by unamusement.

Sitting in the garage was the spacious and reliable, red 2014 Subaru Forester that the Tenshi family drove. The name brand didn't sit too well with him because he was pretty sure Rem had persuaded her father to buy it for the sole reason of its name being his.

Subaru could still remember the time the family had came by his house to pick him up to go to Big Bear and he had dropped his luggage upon noticing the name. Rem had looked so happy in the passenger seat when she saw Subaru's mouth drop at the sight. He almost went back inside but stopped when he saw his parents looking at him from the doorway, urging him to go on.

And now here he was again, about to go on a 10 hour drive in a car that he hated.

From behind Subaru, Emilia quietly giggled when she noticed Subaru glaring at the car.

"Do you like it, Subaru?"

Human Subaru looked back at Emilia with a look of annoyance.

"It's a car…. I don't have to like or hate it. I just…." he looked back at the car with mock anger, "...wish it weren't a Subaru."

Emilia giggled and walked past Subaru, patting him on the head, "Silly, it's just a car."

"Hmph, well it's mocking me."

"You're just being stubborn."

Subaru clutched his belly. "Ha! Right! I'm the stubborn one and not Ram!"

Emilia turned back around and pointed at Subaru while she opened the car's trunk. She spoke with delight at their sudden light hearted banter, "I didn't say that! You're just being difficult because the car's name is your own. It's not like it's really you, you know?"

"Well I know that much. I just still don't like the fact that they have one."

Emilia sighed while leaning on the car, "Then I don't know what to tell you, Subaru."

"I don't either."

With that, Subaru made his way to the back of the garage and placed multiple cases of water into the back and then grabbed two gascans, that were filled up, and placed them in the back as well.

As he went to get the last gascan, Emilia placed a large box of canned food into the car with a can opener. Setting the gas next to the others, Subaru noticed Emilia holding a can of peaches, her father's favorite fruit.

A tear fell onto the paper wrapping and soaked into it. Bittersweet memories of her father rushed into her head. His short, blonde hair, skinny stature, and massive intellect is what she remembered fondly of him. While he was on business trips to New York every month, when he was home he would make sure Emilia was happy. He would return home with a hug from Emilia the second he stepped through the door frame.

He always spoke so warmly and calmly, as if Emilia was all that mattered to him.

"How'd you do while I was gone?"

"I was alright."

"No boys came over right?"

"Well, Subaru came over…"

"Hmmmm….."

"I'm sorry, daddy."

"Awww, I can't stay angry with you. Subaru's a good kid so I trust him around you."

Then he would surprise her with gifts and knickknacks from the other side of the country. Whatever they were, Emilia treasured and kept in her room. From bobbleheads to postcards, it didn't matter. If it came from her father then it had a place in her room.

While Emilia loved her caring father almost to death, she couldn't say the same about her mother. In fact, she never met her mother. According to her father, her mother had died in a car accident that he had caused only a few days after Emilia was born.

With 17 years to mourn and regret, her father would claim to have gotten over it and passed on, but Emilia would sometimes catch him staring off into space. While she never knew if he really was thinking of his wife, whatever he was thinking about always brought a small smile to his face.

Now he was gone, somewhere across the country with no way of getting to her.

"Emilia…"

Dropping the can into the box, Emilia turned away from Subaru to wipe her eyes. Her voice was weak and started to break as she spoke, "W-What is it?"

Subaru put a hand in Emilia's shoulder, letting her know that he was there for her.

"We'll find him. We'll find your dad and my parents. Then when we'll stay safe, live somewhere where the walkers can't get us."

Emilia started to sob and shook her head, the world was too burnt, too decrepit for her to believe that everything would return to normal.

"N-No. Please don't say things like t-that, Subaru. Y-You can't promise me things that you can't be sure about!" She turned around to show Subaru her eyes that were bloodshot from crying, "Don't lie to me, Subaru. We'll never be safe!"

"Don't say that. I promise I'll protect you, Emilia. No matter what happens, no matter how bad it gets, I will be there for you." He steps closer to Emilia, who continued to cry. "I will keep you out of the way of danger, even if it means that I'll die in the process. Just seeing you here has made me the happiest man on Earth." He was inches from Emilia. "I know it doesn't mean much now, but when it comes to it, I would lay my life on the line for you, just to see you smile once again."

Emilia shook her head. She didn't want Subaru to die just for her. To her, she was just a girl who couldn't protect herself and was probably better off left on the side of the road.

"Subaru…"

"I want to help you find your father. I want to see you with him again and smile like you'd never smiled before. That's my one wish, a smile bright enough to bathe this whole world in its lights and banish any unforgiving darkness out of existence. The world may have ended and given up, but I haven't. I want to survive and live a life in different world than the one we grew up in. I wouldn't care if it was just you and me because then I would know you would be by my side the whole time."

Subaru put both his hands on Emilia's shoulders, keeping her close. She stared into his eyes, stuttering.

"I-I…"

"So smile. Make my day, Emilia, and give this helpless boy something to look forward to everyday until the end."

Emilia didn't smile, but she was filled with happiness and gratitude at Subaru's words. In the next instant, she was hugging Subaru tightly, resting her chin on his shoulder as more tears fell from her eyes and streamed down onto Subaru.

The air stayed still as the vibrations of Emilia's sobs echoed in the tiny garage, amplifying it ever so slightly. Subaru closed his eyes and relaxed, feeling Emilia's body shake with each sob. He wrapped his arms around her and felt her heartbeat. It was fast. She was scared.

Doing his best to comfort her, Subaru started stroking Emilia's hair, starting from the top of her head and down.

"Shhhhhh…. it's gonna be okay, Emilia."

Whispering into her ear, Subaru could feel her heartbeat slow down. By this time, Emilia had stopped crying. This made him happy inside. The hand that had been stroking her hair was now doing the same to her back. He could feel her smooth back beneath the white KISS t-shirt and it made him blush. At one point he went too far south and made Emilia shiver from the contact on her lower back.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that!"

Subaru panicked and back away from Emilia, apologizing for getting distracted.

Blushing as well, Emilia held her arms together and looked towards the back of the garage, "No, it's...um...it's OK. Just….um….don't do it again, OK?"

Nodding, Subaru used a finger to draw an 'x' over his heart. "I promise."

Emilia saw the gesture out of the corner of her eye and smiled warmly.

A feeling of accomplishment overwhelmed Subaru, "Yes! Now that's what I call a smile! Do that everyday, Emilia, and you've got the luckiest boy in the world on your hands!"

At first, the smile just widened, but in a matter of seconds the smile turned into a laugh. The beautiful echoes for her cheerful song entered into Subaru's brain and implanted itself there as one of his fondest memories. Even when the world was ending and people were dying, a single girl's smile and laugh could bring light to even the darkest of times.

"Hehehe hahahahaha HAHA!"

When Emilia stopped, she looked at Subaru again with the smile still on her face. Her voice was low still, but happier.

"Thank you, Subaru."

Happiness, that's what resonated throughout the room the entire time Subaru swam in the purple pools that were Emilia's beautiful eyes. It wasn't until something plowed into Emilia did that happiness disappear, replaced by anguish and fear.

Before Subaru could do anything, the walker had already bitten into Emilia's fleshy neck and taken a good chunk out, sealing her fate. The resulting scream ripped any happiness Subaru had in him a second ago. He was unable to move, only staring as the ugly, bloodstained walker ate at the woman he'd just promised to protect with his life.

When Subaru found his voice, it was an explosion of emotion, "NOOOO!"

The wasn't in his hands, but that didn't matter to Subaru. Emilia was on her back with the walker on her neck when Subaru came up and tore the walker off of her.

"NO!"

Subaru pounced on the walker and straddled it. The walker was male with clear eyes, clear, bloodshot, hungry eyes.

Subaru felt no fear, he allowed the walker to grab him, but he wouldn't allow him to bite. Holding the walker's head between his hands, Subaru lifted it off the ground and slammed it into the concrete floor.

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"

With each of his own screams, Subaru slammed the walker's head onto the floor until a bloody mess spilled out from its gaping head wound.

"FUCKING BASTARD!"

Throwing the bloodied mess to the side, Subaru fell to his own side and cried. It wasn't until he heard short, sudden breathes coming from Emilia did he get back up. Her mouth was open as she struggled to breathe, she settled on gasping for air.

"HUUUHH!... S-Subaru… Huuhhh!"

Blood gushed from her neck, creating a pool around her head.

Subaru's tears fell in mass as he tore off his shirt and pressed it into her neck.

This isn't happening! Please, no! Not again! I can't do this again! I don't wanna die!

Blood soaked through his shirt until he was holding a soaking wet rag that smelled like metal. Emilia's skin was cold when Quarke, Rem, and Ram rushed into the garage with their luggage in their arms. Their eyes widened at the horrific scene before them.

Subaru didn't notice them and threw the shirt to the side, making a splat when it hit the cold floor. He proceeded to press his hands into her neck, desperately trying to stop the bleeding.

Emilia was no longer screaming, but groaning in pain when Subaru would apply pressure to her wounded neck.

Quarke quickly dropped everything he had and ran to Emilia's side, not caring that he kneeled in her blood. His voice was worried and quick, "What happened?"

Subaru couldn't answer. His emotions were out of control, he wanted to cry, yell, rage, everything. Everything in his life had been torn from his life at some point and now something else was going to leave him in front of his eyes. All he had to do was keep her safe, but he failed even that.

Quarke pulled Subaru's hands away from Emilia and saw the gushing wound. Subaru immediately replaced his hands back.,

"She's bit! Subaru, what does that mean?!"

Subaru only shook his head violently as he knew what that meant.

"Subaru! She's infected isn't she?!"

Again, no answer. Subaru only made a noise that was between a scream and a gasp for air.

Everything went quiet as the roar of dozens of walkers struck the air. Their yelling had attracted a horde, and it sounded close.

Quarke turned his head quickly to his daughter who were standing by. Rem was worried, wanting to be by Subaru's side. Ram was trying to keep calm but her twisted face gave away the fact that she was terrified.

"Girls, pack up the car! We have to go!"

The roaring grew closer. Too close for comfort.

The light in Emilia's eyes started to dim as her body started to stop being so tense. The pain in her face lessened every second the closer she got to bleeding out. She focused her dim eyes in Subaru. Her voice was feeble and so quiet that Quarke and Subaru barely heard it.

"Su…..baru…."

Subaru eyes wouldn't stop pouring tears. Hatred for the world consumed him. His voice was full of sorrow as he looked at the dying girl, "I'm right here, Emilia. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I failed to protect you, I'm sorry."

Emilia's weak arm reached up and touched his cheek, leaving a short streak of her blood, "It….oh...kay…"

Subaru couldn't help but look at her with anger, not directed at her but at the world, "No, it's not OK! None of this is OK! I don't want to lose you! I've come too far to just let you die!"

Emilia simply smiled up at Subaru's heart broken face. It didn't bring happiness to her that she was dying. She was just happy to die and have someone who cared about be by her side. Then, the hand the was in his cheek feel slowly down as Emilia's eyes dulled and were extinguished of any light. Emilia died happy and with a smile on her face.

Quarke stared sadly at Emilia, his confidence gone. He didn't want to say it, but the horde was getting closer. He looked at Subaru sorrowfully.

"Subaru…..we have to move."

Like hell I am.

Subaru shook his head, his voice hoarse, "No."

"You don't have a choice, Subaru. Please…..we have to go."

Subaru glared at Quarke, "I'm not leaving….. Just go."

Quarke looked at Subaru in disbelief.

"What?"

Through anguished tears, Subaru screamed at Quarke, "JUST GO! LEAVE ME!"

Quarke angrily grabbed Subaru by his shirt, "That's not happening! You are coming with us! Emilia is dead, there's nothing you can do about it!"

Deep down, Subaru knew there was but didn't want to say.

From behind Subaru, Rem spoke up. He couldn't see her, but he could hear the fear and sadness in her voice.

"Subaru-kun? Please don't stay. You'll die."

Her voice alone calmed him down, but it didn't help with his mental state. He knew that he was going to have to die if he wanted to save Emilia, but he couldn't do it here. Not in front of everyone else.

Subaru made a bargain, speaking with a broken voice.

"I'll meet you guys."

Quarke was the one to question him.

"What?"

"I'll meet you guys at the edge of town. I know what direction we need to go so I'll meet you there. When you leave, you'll take the walkers away from me so I have time. I just…. I just have to say good bye."

Rem spoke up, "Rem will stay too."

"No!" Subaru looked at Rem, his face full of determination. "You go, so in case I screw up I don't have to watch someone else I love die."

"But-."

Anger. "No but's! Just please do as I say and go with your dad!"

Rem shrunk in defeat at the first sign of anger in Subaru's voice, "OK."

The horde was practically down the street, their roar was shaking the house.

Quarke let go of Subaru and looked at him with annoyance, "We don't have much time to argue. I trust you know what you're doing."

Subaru faked a smile, "Always."

Quarke pulled his gun from his back pocket and handed it to Subaru, "Only for emergencies."

Nodding, Subaru held the gun tightly in his hand. He was the only one who knew what he was going to do with it.

"We'll see you later, Subaru."

Quarke patted Subaru on the shoulder before beckoning his daughter to get into the car.

Quarke turned the car on and revved the engine. Putting the pedal to the metal, he sent the car flying out of the driveway and into the street. Subaru closed the garage door and heard the wave of walkers rush past to chase the car, ignoring the garage in which Subaru was sheltered in.

From behind him, the indistinguishable sound of a walker sounded in the small space. Slowly, Subaru looked behind him to see Emilia get up onto her feet. She, or it, slipped on it's own blood and almost fell to the floor.

"Raaaawwwwwgghhhh."

The groaning coming from it brought chills down Subaru's spine.

What is happening?

Subaru bent down and grabbed his metal bat. The now dull surface scraped the ground, making a sound.

The walker that was Emilia heard the noise and glared at Subaru.

I can't move.

The sight of a pale skinned, bloodshot, and raging Emilia made him sick. He didn't want to kill her, but he had to. One less walker in this damned world.

Emilia ran at Subaru, but slipped on her own blood and fell to the floor in front of him.

Please, what are you doing?

She grabbed into his leg and extended her jaws open. Subaru jerked his foot from her grasp. The look of anguish and extreme emotional pain was permanently plastered on his face as he rose the bat high into the air. Words could not describe just how horrible he felt, as he was about to kill the woman he loved.

He swung the bat down hard.

Subaru.

And ended Emilia's suffering.

Subaru emptied his tear ducts onto Emilia's dead, cold body, holding her close to him. He held her hand, the same one he held earlier that had been so warm and so soft. Now, it was stone cold and harder than it should've been.

Emilia was dead, Rem was safe, Ram was safe, and Quarke was safe. He didn't feel guilty for what he wanted to do next. With Emilia's hand in one, Subaru held up his other that held the gun. The black surface of the matted gun had a speck of blood on it. Using his thumb, Subaru wiped it off.

8:46pm

Rem stared back at the city buildings, wondering when Subaru would return like he promised.

Ram approached from behind, "Rem, I don't think he's coming." Her voice was full of mourning. She knew Subaru was gone for good.

Rem shook her head and spoke while her voice slightly broke, "No. Subaru-kun is strong. I believe he'll make it here. We just….we just have to wait a little bit longer."

Ram nodded, despite being against the idea, and walked back towards the car where she could see her father smoking away his stress.

"Subaru-kun, please come back."

May 15, 2015

8:37am

His skull now mended from the bullet, Subaru woke up, back to the beginning of the day everything went wrong. Turning in his makeshift bed, he saw Emilia, wide awake in her own bed next to Rem and Ram. She was sitting up with a hand to her chest.

She's awake.

This was different, when he woke up last time, Emilia had been asleep. He checked his watch to know what time it was, but realized he had nothing to base his theory of whether or not he woke up at the same time since he never checked the time before. Maybe he had woken up later than before and Emilia had just woken up with him. But that didn't matter, Emilia was safe and alive.

Subaru watched Emilia look at her surroundings, he studied her with grief at the thought of her corpse that he himself had created. He wasn't going to let that happen again. He was going to do whatever he could to keep her safe and sound. He'd already said it and thought it multiple times, but if the time ever came to lay his life on the line for Emilia, he would do it without thinking twice.

As he stared at Emilia, her eyes suddenly met his. Her eyes slightly widened when she saw him, but he didn't keep looking. Instead of staring, Subaru quickly looked at the ceiling and whistled quietly. A blush crept across his cheeks because he could still see Emilia staring at him from the corner of his eye. It wasn't until a minute later did Emilia laid back down onto her bed and went to sleep.

Subaru waited until he heard Emilia's soft snoring to get out of his bed and head to the restroom upstairs. So far, other than the interaction with Emilia, everything had gone exactly like it had when he had woken up the first time. He needed to use the restroom and when he would return Emilia would be up, along with Quarke.

However, when he returned, only Quarke was up.

He'll wake them up.

Like he remembered, Quarke went over the Rem and Ram and nudged them awake playfully with his foot. Then Ram would groan.

"Uhhhhh…. Father, 5 more minutes."

Then Rem.

"Nee-sama, I'm tired still."

"It's OK, Rem, Come here."

Ram opened up her arms and allowed Rem to cuddle between them. A lovely sister bonding moment that Subaru remembered all too well because he almost had a nosebleed last time from looking at it.

Speaking of which, Subaru's nose started to bleed.

Ah, crap.

Everything was going smoothly. The only difference was Emilia, who still slept. Subaru tried to approach her, but by that time Ram had woken up finally and told him to stop.

"Let a woman sleep, Balse. Geez, you have no manners do you?"

This is new.

Subaru had never had this conversation before with Ram. It weirded him out that he springing onto a totally different now. He wasn't sure what to say that wouldn't change future events. If anything changed then he wouldn't have the talk with Emilia again and save her life later when the walker came in.

Fuck it.

"I'll have you know, Ram, that I am the most polite gentleman you'll meet on this street."

Ram rolled her eyes as per usual when talking to Subaru.

"Is it because everyone else on the street is gone?"

"That's a bit of a morbid way to put it, but yes."

"Huuuuuuuhhhhh… Idiot Barusu." Ram walked away.

"Again, didn't ask for the comment."

Ram said nothing. Instead, she mocked him by making it look like her hand was opening and closing it's mouth.

Oh, wanna play that game then?

In a low whisper that Ram barely heard, Subaru said, "Stubborn demon."

Eyes lit with fiery rage, Ram glared at Subaru who then turned the other way and retreated to safety behind Quarke.

10:12am

"I repeat, Safe Zone Elko, Nevada is free from infection. Any and all uninfected survivors are advised to make their way there immediately. Food, water…."

After the broadcast, Subaru and Emilia did as they were told by Quarke and went to go pack the car. The whole time, Subaru was glancing at Emilia, wondering why she was acting different than before. Even Ram, he had that conversation with her that he never did before. Everything changed, and it all started because of Emilia. When he had asked Emilia if she was alright, she had simply replied with a quick nod.

When they had gone outside to open the garage door, Subaru noticed Emilia looking around more than she had in his previous loop. Almost like she was looking for something and not just watching out for walkers. This was too different.

Was it something I did? Why is she acting like this?

What made matters worse for Subaru was when they packed up the car. Subaru had finished putting in the gascans and water when Emilia had just thrown the box of cans into the car. She never looked at the cans or even looked at Subaru. The whole time she kept to herself. They stood there for a few minutes, neither talking to one another.

Subaru was just about to start a conversation with her when Quarke and the twins came around the corner with the luggage.

The walker never came.

It was an important event from his last loop that caused it to end, but now it ceased to exist. The whole reason Subaru was back in this moment of time was gone, it wasn't right. Something was definitely wrong, but he couldn't think of how i could've changed so drastically.

"Come on! Get in the car!"

Quarke and the twins were already waiting inside the Subaru for Subaru and Emilia.

Still confused, Subaru stepped into the passenger seat while Emilia sat behind him in the back with Rem and Ram.

Quarke sighed with happiness, "Finally! You guys ready for to see civilization?!"

Rem smiled, "Yes!"

Ram sighed, "I guess.'"

Emilia didn't say or do anything.

Subaru smiled and nodded.

Rem, who was seated next to Emilia, poked her in the cheek lightly. The contact surprisingly startled Emilia.

"Are you OK, Emilia?"

Emilia nodded to Rem's question, remembering that Subaru had asked her that same question before not too long ago.

Quarke put the car in 'Drive' and sped out of the garage. They sped past houses and many, many walkers. The dead tried to run at them but were left in the dust.

Looking into the side-view mirror, Subaru noticed that Emilia looked much more relaxed. As if a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders.

Not long after, the car sped onto the 101 freeway, passing up countless cars that were abandoned and/or tossed over. Some were on fire, some were just shells of what they used to be. Scavengers must have stripped the cars for parts to use. Seeing this, Subaru realized just how little hope there was for this rotting world to return to normal.

GDL GVHG HFYQVXGH, GDL IVGFIM YB WVZGSH.