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Chapter Four

Life On Mars

It's a God awful small affair.

To the girl with the mousy hair.

The echoes of the darkness of this world rang through as it always did. The air was musty as it had always been, suffocating her lungs and bringing her back. Sweetness had simply been present for the briefest of moments before it was ripped away, reminiscent of sharp features, porcelain skin, a sprinkling of small endearing dots and hollow cheeks, she was struck with the sudden sense of fear tingling through her veins, more than second nature now.

Fear that she had picked herself up to leave, only for it to be impossible. That she would be stuck with the consequences for the rest of her life.

Or, that it would work, but it wouldn't end up with her living a happy and normal life, but taken back where she had escaped from in the first.

Sterilised rooms, scratchy shapeless gowns, small cold steel rooms, cats…they had once been the triggers, but slowly over time and without those aspects to surround her here, she was instead stuck with the overhanging tension of grime, of a constant feeling of moist discomfort and dread for the death that laid about haphazardly around her in heaps of the monsters that had taken to feeding on each other for sustenance.

The Upside Down.

Eleven had been stuck here for some time, meandering in the many haunts that the Upside Down had in its own dilapidated rendition from the free world. The one place she felt she could be entirely vulnerable and safe was the basement of Mike's house, where she'd set up a little life for herself, away from the horror that was the Upside Down. She'd only just perfected it.

Regardless of how she felt about the faceless many mouthed monsters that still roamed the Upside Down, none of those born to this world would touch her anymore, and it had been a long time since a new one would come along and make the mistake of seeing her as food and an incubation chamber for offspring. Eleven didn't understand why at first but she had a feeling it had to do with the crushed remains of the Demogorgon she had entered with after leaving the three people who had willingly put their lives on the line to help her.

When given the unspoken question, Eleven realised that she had still wanted to live, even after discovering her new living arrangements.

Being recollected took its time, and Eleven existed in a black state that she thought was after death, but it turned out to be something she couldn't comprehend. If she ever had the chance, she hoped she might find out just where she'd been in the midst of her body connecting itself back to her life. In reality, it had only been a few seconds but it felt like years.

She had wondered how she would sustain herself and was worried until she came across a sealed box attached to a large tree with a lid and latch to keep it closed, filled with the food that called on her cravings most: Eggos, with other bits from the good dimension By the time she found it, she was fading in and out of dizziness.

Lucky was the best word to describe that day. The water in the Upside Down was dirty but in desperate measures, it was enough. The rifling for forest mushrooms was not doable for long-term survival.

Will had hardly any energy left to speak or fight for himself when worst could come to worse in the Upside Down, his expertise was in hiding after all. It was both a heavy relief and a selfish disappointment for her that he was nowhere to be found, not a body or any significant pieces left behind like the older girl Barb. And while the bodies from the nightmare of Hawkins were beginning to encase in a mucus' like cocoon, Eleven grew.

The dress she left her friends in was very dirty and stained, tight in areas where she was forced to make rips to stop the discomfort by her chest and waist. She had only managed to keep herself clean through the wipes that were offered in the packages she received, while washing the clothes off her back in a section of the Upside Down's Quarry river. Things had a tinge of green to them because of this desperate method.

That was when she started to get new items, like a breathing mask with a pair of adjustable goggles, books, a toothbrush with paste, a flashlight with a pack of batteries and clothes, all neatly contained in a backpack, not too dissimilar to Mike's. Warm sweaters and tracksuit pants, with several thermals, a pair of tennis shoes and underwear, of which she received several pairs, were all unfolded out on display in Mike's basement.. On top of that, she got a jacket, a lovely dark green colour with wool lining that felt like she was being hugged.

'Mike Wheeler' was scribbled neatly in a thick marker on the back of the printed label. As she outgrew clothes, she thanked whatever force of nature that let her stay small enough in her natural spurt to fit in the jacket.

What had her especially content was finding something within the hidden pocket. A newspaper clipping, and it had been put in a little plastic lock bag. It was about the Indiana State Science Fair, and how the local Hawkins High freshman year kids had come through – to get second place. It was the best they'd ever done though, so it was newsworthy.

None of the words mattered as much as the names mentioned and the photo supplied for the story. It had made her cry for the first time in a long time, seeing them living on their lives with smiles on their faces as they grew up just that bit more than when she last saw them, change visible in their builds, hair cuts and clothes. Will's smile was not as big as the other three – and there was something noticeably different about Dustin's smile as well as Lucas' stance. And Mike's hair had been less a mop and more a mess.

Every night she found herself falling asleep with that plastic pocket with their newspaper clipping, her index finger not far from Mike's face. If she had to take anything to her grave, it would be that newspaper clipping, tucked into the pocket of the green wool coat, wrapped around her body.

It had her believing that it was him sending her the things, keeping her alive. But that theory came crashing down when she remembered a couple of things about Mike.

He used radios and probably didn't have the funds to send her all this stuff. She never received one message, even just written in the box, and there were no toys that he would've deemed necessary for her to pass the time while in the Upside Down. It was someone else, but she wouldn't ever likely find out who.

Something frightening had occurred to Eleven not long after she entered the Upside Down. It hadn't attracted the monsters as she had suspected but she was truly scared of death by blood loss. There was the frustration and anger at her consequence of life that when she was bleeding out into this deprived version of the Quarry she had snapped a rotting tree in half – causing it to crash in the water and making bigger waves than she could make for her own fun. The blood that was dribbling out seemed to expand with this uncontrolled splash, spreading in the water.

And it would happen, over and over again until she knew this had to be almost normal. The pain that came with it, the extra sad thoughts, more than usual, the murderous intent and occasional action toward the creatures that had been dumb enough to come near her. And the stains of her clothes had forced her to use the soap supplied with her food and clothes every so often – until one day she was given something new.

A box of "Sanitary Napkins" turned up with a new package of food and supplies.

There were instructions on the side and once getting through the flowery language several times, figured out that this was for the bleeding. It took her a few tries before she got it eventually. Eleven felt like she should wear them everyday, but noticed there weren't enough in a pack to last her until whatever it was sent her this. But she'd felt like she could feel out when it was going to happen these days.

It was also in one of these care packages (since they'd gone beyond the bare necessities) a comb came with the soap and a fresh tube of toothpaste with her annual toothbrush delivery. Before this little invention, she used the water from the Quarry to untangle the hair that was growing on her head. She had always wanted it longer, begged Papa to let it grow just a little but he wouldn't allow it for the experimental process. It was hard to maintain with the environment she was forced to acclimatise with, but the sense of freedom it brought her was keeping her sane.

In this rather toxic environment with some anonymous assistance, she thrived.

Maybe it was because of her powers – maybe there was certain immunity to her with overthrowing the queen of the monsters, the Demogorgon. She couldn't know for sure. Each and every day her powers were growing stronger and the nosebleeds were far less.

At first, her powers were proving not to be useful in getting her back. If she could create the link, she could surely make a new gateway. If it was getting anywhere, she didn't know because it wasn't obvious.

She knew the box where she received her food from the better place had to be a small gateway but she couldn't fit herself in whatsoever, even when she was smaller. It brought her to tears with frustration, but figured it was for the best. Eleven knew nothing with intent in the Upside Down was small enough to get through. But rather bitterly, she desired the impossible too.

As a hardened, bigger girl, she was ready to look again. She wished she'd had that circular device Dustin called a compass. It took them to the gateways that existed, which she had dreaded as her stomach fell at this revelation at the time – but now she would do anything for one of those dastardly things.

Trying to go back through the lab was not an option. The utter aversion she had toward the possibilities that lay ahead there never involved friends. It was simply another prison, clean and with bright lights, sterile floors and people who wouldn't give her a break. She couldn't outweigh the benefits over the disadvantages. She wasn't having that. And apparently it was nothing she had to feel guilt over.

One day she went to check as a last resort. It turned out to be closed, at least for now.

At least she had Mike's Upside Down basement to go back to.

She didn't always feel safe there but after she collapsed some of the foundation of the garage on top of a young, overly curious and hungry monster looking into her little nest, killing it severely, Eleven took some measures that ensured she would be left alone, even when she had a torch on to read. It was her heaven in hell and it was filled with her bits and pieces and clothes collected from years of adding to it from the box's supplies.

Over the years Eleven had received savoury foods as well which she had grown to appreciate after discovering that it could have flavour as well as sustenance. As often as every couple of weeks she got a cold slab of meat loaf and a few times she received warm soup in a bottle called a thermos. It was so wonderful to taste warm, cooked food again. And she had received a similar thermos, with warm chunky soup in it with slices of cold roast chicken wrapped up in foil. Always got a lot of bread slices with meat, leafy vegetables and occasionally cheese, depending on the day, as sometimes she got a strange concoction of sweet and nutty with two spreads mixed together, which she always devoured without any hope of resistance.

She had a small stash of Eggos, sitting on a table in the basement for a craving day, having been through three boxes during the last time she bled out, and underneath were large bottles upon large bottles of drinking water, she'd get two each delivery.

Whoever was sending her the stuff was clearly concerned for her, as she now had two blankets to her name.

Food wasn't her pride and joy in the basement, although it did give her some peace after even feeling remotely hungry. But her books were everything to her.

She hadn't had a great ability at reading at the start, but she couldn't be illiterate if she was going to spy on people some of the people who worked in the lab called "Communists". She spoke Russian fluently and could read a majority of it as well as write in the more dire cases. English to her was very limited but it had been steadily gaining once she convinced Papa – her only victory in that time - to teach her and keep her somewhat mentally equipped so that she could continue to be his useful little experiment but without the independence. Eleven couldn't have been more overjoyed the moment she recognised books in that little hutch of goodness.

The books started off with pictures but more recently she had acquired a book with less pictures and lots more words, but it was very entertaining, with language reminiscent of those boys in the basement not long ago. It was the only thing able to bring her a smile. Eleven was sure she had messed up pronouncing some of the words, especially some of the more complicated ones, but got by as long as she knew what it meant, which was why she very much appreciated the mini dictionary she had and treasured it among most of her "Mike" things.

But she was alone in the world, and she had wished for something of a companion, only to believe that such an idea was selfish. Eleven never wanted anyone else to witness the Upside Down.

One day, after so long of not feeling anything out of the ordinary for the Upside Down, a familiar feeling hovered by her and it was warm. Eleven had managed to make as much warmth for herself in the basement once she blocked off all the seals and started clogging up the basement with light from a small collection of flashlights and battery powered lamps with a horde of batteries that she got every single package not shortly after receiving the first flashlight.

There was something unbelievably overwhelmingly spectacular about this magnetic feeling that was tempting her to touch it. It didn't have a presence or a colour, but it felt golden.

Eleven hadn't cried for a long time, it had only caused her to feel pain in her head afterwards and she avoided it at all costs. Now it was bringing up thoughts of a home that was so short lived that it must have been all but a dream to her now.

When it started to drift away from her, she scrambled to gather some things and follow it.

It wasn't part of her routine to leave the basement at night, which was far darker and more unnerving if she had to describe the difference. The burning of eagerness was hard to suppress however, and Eleven felt like this wasn't a bad thing for the first time in her existence here.

She was led through the area of houses, through to the town and to the vast expanse of forest and woods Hawkins Upside Down offered. Eleven wasn't bothered once during her trip to follow this powerful enigma, the creatures slinking further into the safety away from Eleven upon her arrival to a house that she hadn't come to very often for what bad memories it offered her.

There was no turning back though, and she followed the warmth's connection inside the house. It was torn to shreds in some parts, wallpaper rotting where the creatures caused some of their greatest havoc. The black alphabet letters still existed on the wall, but there was no manner of which to use it to communicate to the good dimension through the lights.

Soon enough, the warmth was leading her into a hallway, taking her all the way to the end and into a room. A bedroom that she could presume belonged to either boys she met briefly, although for the sake of what she could gather from her memory, this was Will's room.

She had taken a seat on Will's bed, until eventually she found herself falling asleep. It wasn't wise to do this considering her dimension, but Eleven had felt safe outside the basement for the first time since she arrived. Nothing could take away this feeling or moment away from her, the closeness that she had desired for so long was finally being fulfilled – even in the most unlikely way.

That was until she was no longer alone.

Eleven couldn't remember how but she just knew something wasn't right. Awaking violently, she prepared herself for a fight.

But she had been taken aback when the creature was smaller, and responded to her call against it of a simple "Don't!". And then as her flashlight, dimmed by wrapping an old shirt from her first year in the Upside Down, which was covered in flecks of monster blood and had made the light less attractive to the monsters, shone on the intruder.

A boy. Possibly around her age too.

And distinctly familiar – but she was sure she was seeing things.

"Who are you?" she demanded quietly. It hadn't been her best delivery, but she wanted them to know she meant business.

When the boy responded, "Who are you?" she couldn't believe the audacity.

"You…answer."

It had been quite some time since she'd had a conversation with another possible human being. Completely confident with talking to herself, but she reverted to newly escaped Eleven in this pretty crucial moment.

"My name is W-Will, Will Byers-"

Eleven almost dropped the flashlight from where she was crouched on the bed.

Suddenly she recognised the young, scared boy in a much older body, and with a deeper voice. It was no longer a question of if. But she didn't have the words to ask how this was even possible.

"Will."

She got up off the bed entirely, hoping to examine the first human being she'd seen in years and hadn't realised how determined she was when she started using her powers somewhat unnecessarily to move the flashlight around the room, shining to emit upon them both. It did look quite eerie to begin with, and he was still scared, especially since he still didn't know who she was.

Once he had better visibility of her though, his consternation turned as his eyes squinted, calculating how this presence had brought something up in him that he couldn't quite comprehend.

All at once, it was as though a thunderbolt struck pure shock into him, he asked incredulously, "Eleven?"

She hardly skipped a beat.

"Yes."

He said something that from her reading she knew was a "curse" word, not to be uttered unless the event truly called for it. Eleven let it slide considering she thought much the same thing.

Holy shit indeed.

But her surprise transitioned very quickly upon Will doubling over as he began to cough horrendously, frightening her and worrying her over his welfare.

And then, he faded away, as though he'd never been there in the first place.

Eleven was evidently traumatised.

The warmth disappeared.

She needed to leave immediately.

Rushing herself through repacking her bag, she zips it up and hauls ass out the front door, no concentrating on the direction and runs straight into the forest, the opposite way to Mike's Upside Down house.

She doesn't know if she's dreaming or her feet are possessed, but Eleven just goes with it since she's panicking more than anything and concentration is long gone from her mind.

Eleven had taken a break on finding herself a potential exit out of the Upside Down.

And just while she was off guard, Will Byers somehow appears before her.

She tripped on a rock, covered in moss and unseen. Eleven fears the worse, she roughly grabs her ankle.

It's only scraped, and might sting over the next couple of days, but she can stand up and has evaded actual blood, which is more relieving than she cares to freely admit. Eleven might be the Alpha, but she was afraid one of these days, the Monsters might try to oust her by killing her for good.

But they'd never been intelligent enough to think about teaming up. And it was a dog eat dog world in the Upside Down, they were all enemies to each other.

Eleven took a deep breath and sat up. She hadn't done herself any favours by panicking. She's not sure where she is. Eleven can't afford to get lost in this dimension, and it would feel quite stupid if she died because of her own stupid fault, stranded in some part of the Upside Down.

Dusting herself off, Eleven tried to centre her thoughts and feelings and her powers come into focus. If anything with an ill wish against her attacks, she is prepared.

She grabbed her bag off the ground and started to take a couple of steps in the opposite direction, the right direction, retracing her steps as much as possible so as to not lose her path. Her confidence grows as her heart slows down to an agreeable rate.

A whistling noise halts her.

It's in the wind, and carries through a smell that's not so acrid. Her gas mask is shoved in her bag, exposing her completely and she just realises this. Her eyes are wide open and she's thrown into action.

Just as she has it in her hands again, ready to strap it securely around her face…the smell comes filtering through to her nose.

It's a welcoming smell. Not something that could be said of much in the Upside Down, but that's the best way to put it. And the whistling sounds like it might be a break in a seal, like the one she heard coming through the abandoned Bus in the junkyard.

And it feels like…home.

Eleven has to hold back tears, uncertain how to process this strange feeling.

That's until it takes her mind to where she can recognise it. It smells like the packages she gets, completely untainted from the quality of life in the Upside Down, like fresh air and the woods – the proper woods – the Upside Down makes these woods smell like humid damp, even when it's blisteringly cold.

And out of the corner of her eye, she can see a collapsed Castle Byers.

Eleven's body shivers in a way that says it isn't from the atmosphere, but from some curious revelations.

Exhaustion nearly consumes her at how much has happened in the course of a few hours. She decides to make some use of her powers, other than for killing. Eleven marks her current spot for future possibilities. Two trees opposite sides of each and near the collapsed Castle Byers have bark stripped from them to reveal a much lighter layer underneath.

Eleven doesn't understand what this all means, but having got her hopes up too soon before, and realised she was in a strange and vivid dream once or twice, she heeds her previous experiences and tries not to think too hard on this.

She needed to go home. Her Upside Down home.

Pacing like the characters sometimes did in her books and like the boys would do often when trying to figure out Eleven's stunted responses thanks to her limited vocabulary when trying to find Will, she was currently trying to explain away the phenomenon the night had been in her head. She completely ignored the "try not to think too hard on this " advice, from herself, with gumption to supply her busy thoughts.

"You're not insane, you're not insane, you're not insane-"

She seemed to chant this over and over again until she forgot how to breathe. Slowing herself down by taking some deep breaths she finally felt what she really didn't want to feel.

Lost.

And so terribly alone.

In those weird hours, she found herself falling asleep only to be completely desolate. There had been a life outside these walls that didn't consist of terrifying monsters, and there had been people who remembered her. It cut to her deep.

She cried herself to sleep, clutching that newspaper clipping.

There was a possibility – and yet Eleven couldn't find it in herself to put faith in it, because she saw herself as a gatekeeper. The monsters feared her, but let loose on fresh blood, and they might become unstoppable.

She didn't think she could risk more lives for a chance of happiness again.

Eleven almost regretted crying all those hours before. She knew she had to, but she really felt dizzy upon reawakening and a grogginess enveloped her body that she knew she'd have to get rid of somehow.

She decided that just for once, Eleven would wash herself in the house, but not in the basement. It would make too much of a mess. She had used the bath upstairs and used three bottles of water leaving her with ten leftover from her hording and her honey smelling soap was nearly running out considering she used it on her hair as well. Eleven had to be sparing in pouring the water, but she found the results to be just that much better than when she used the Upside Down Quarry water.

She took a chance to look in the broken mirror, the same one she looked at when she wore a disguise and felt beautiful for the first time ever.

"Pretty…good."

Eleven closed her eyes, cherishing that curious little moment. When she reopened them, she found the results to be rather different. She was different.

Her skin had changed its tone. She'd always been warm looking, and she was just darker than Mike who was like porcelain and winter, or what she'd read about it anyway. Eleven's skin was almost green with sickness, and the dark circles around her eyes that would remain to her death almost made her look a lot older than she actually was.

She knew it wasn't her but what she'd had to work with. And her hair didn't feel like Mike's looked, all soft and shiny. Her hair, while she was glad to have it, made her feel even dirtier. Eleven could comb and comb for days and with assistance of both Upside Down Quarry water and the cheat of the bottled water, would find she was still hiding a nest of knots that couldn't be tackled by herself.

Sighing deeply, she tried not to focus on it because admittedly, Eleven had given up on trying some time ago.

While it's not her craving day, Eleven believed she earned herself a couple of Eggos after the night she had. She kicked the box away from herself in some odd sort of shame, but she had maybe thought it was down to her being sort of useless.

Settling back into her reality, Eleven looks up at the ceiling in wonder. She doesn't attempt to go down the "What If" scenarios. That would just hurt. But she does try to think of new ways to be useful here.

She considered just piling up the death count in the Upside Down so that she could leave without any worries.

But then the offspring would just double and it wasn't a feasible means of keeping these creatures away from human beings.

Eleven couldn't discern much from this world, what with her limited understanding of her old one. She just wanted someone to figure out a way to cut them off from the good dimension, forever.

Little goose bumps started to spread through her body and she could place the feeling better when overwhelmed tears began to prick at her eyes. It wasn't the same as the last few hours and it made more sense when she could feel the warmth again.

This time Eleven didn't hesitate.

She touched the warmth, almost hovering beside her, mocking her cruelly for what she could never have. Eleven almost felt like glaring at thin air, but knew that would do nothing for a possible visitor.

Suddenly, someone started to fade into her existence in the basement, right next to her. She recollected with ease the shape and form of the boy she met the night before.

Will Byers had been clutching himself after what looked like him having a fit.

Carefully Eleven took off her gas mask, knowing it was more of a foreboding sight than a welcoming one. When he eventually looks up and sees his surroundings, he still doesn't seem to notice her.

"Will?"

This time, Will put a hand over his heart, eyes wide in fright as he jumped up in reaction.

But once his eyes look at her long enough, his body relaxes and he slowly retakes his seat. There is a hint of a grin on his face. Monsters can't grin, and so Eleven feels totally safe wrapped up in his existing warmth next to her.

"It's really you, isn't it?"

She held so much disbelief for his person last night, a highly imaginative illusion she'd created in her loneliness that Eleven didn't realise he might think the exact same thing of her. Eleven nodded briefly, a little speechless that this is in fact a real person.

"Is that a gas mask?"

She handed it to him as a gesture of sharing or just generally looking as he seemed intrigued with it and by what she guessed of his analysing the basement, was this version of the Upside Down in Mike's basement. She would never make it exactly the same, but for what she had, Eleven felt she had done a pretty good job.

"You wear this all the time?"

"Yes," she said breathily. Truth was, despite these unbelievable circumstances,

Eleven still wasn't confident enough to talk fully, but her curiosity eventually got the better of her. "How…how are you here?"

Will looked unsure as to how to answer, "I don't really know…but sometimes, when I feel sick – I come back. Only briefly though," he then steadily changes the subject, a little antsy, "Eleven – do you live here?"

She doesn't hesitate to answer that question as she beamed, nodding at her handiwork, and the foundation that the original owner in the good dimension shaped for her, but decides to be totally open if this is one of her only chances to talk to him again, "I feel safe here."

Will seemed to agree, until he was frowning in thought.

"Did you…did you touch me…before I, arrived just now?" Will struggled to phrase.

Eleven didn't know to answer without coming off nuts thrown in with some obsession, because she partly did it thinking this time, it could be Mike since they were in his basement.

Slowly nodding, she replied, "I felt something there…I thought it might be…"

Will nodded. He understands where she's heading and lets her taper off the sentence.

"If you live here, why were you in my bed last night?"

She seemed just as helpless to answer a question of which the meat of the answer is still a strange aspect to her, but the right one. "I felt something…something warm taking me there. Warm is good here."

"Did you feel the same thing here too?"

"Yes, same thing."

This answer seems to set him off on a course of silence as he sinks back into the couch they're sitting on. She gives him a few moments to his thoughts when very suddenly, she feels him take her hand.

Being touched by another human being is what many would see as part of everyday life, but for Eleven it's all she wanted to get by happy in the Upside Down. At first her shock is clear to Will, and he sees that he might've not thought that part through, but just as he's about to retract it, Eleven keeps it in hers desperately. She's grateful Will doesn't tease her for it.

Eleven could barely comprehend life anymore when Will tried to talk to her again.

"Eleven, you can't live breathing through a gas mask anymore."

"But I need it." It was such a mechanic answer, since her head was still pleased with her hand being held.

"I mean that you need to come home."

This completely threw Eleven off her thoughts of the beauty of human physical interactions. Now someone was caring enough to consider her options, and to her face where she could witness it. But then she remembered. She was responsible.

Eleven hated that she felt the tears come up, but she couldn't find the effort to expend her energy it holding her utmost emotions on the subject back.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

It was so simple, so easy. But he didn't know. She pointed at the caved in mess she created when the monster decided to become a peeping tom in her life, possibly after her stash or what her flesh had to offer a bloody thirsty creature. Will visibly blanched at the sight.

"Is it too dangerous out there?" He almost should have said, still.

"No," Eleven whispered, her voice deepening with recollection of any confrontation from the pat three years.

But Will seemed adamant to keep this subject going.

"Then why can't you come home Eleven?"

And that was when she burst open with the whole flat out truth.

"I'm responsible, okay!"

Will looked incredibly taken aback, but there was no way else Eleven could say it. He shouldn't have even come back, in this place that nearly killed him, because one day it might keep him, and that was the last thing she wanted for anybody. It was her hell, and she had to pay for what she'd done. Spliced them, pushing them too close together.

"I brought it here…it killed Barb – it took you." She jabbed her chest with her free hand, a habit to communicate her point easiest when she was selectively mute.

But her other hand was being squeezed, reassuringly, forcing her to look at Will, his eyes filled with an understanding.

"You didn't do that on purpose Eleven. You were just a kid, just like I was…still am. Barb's death isn't your fault either. And I'm still alive because of you. A lot of people would really like you to come back, and if I know anything – this isn't a place for a girl to live, even a super-powered one."

If she were to believe that then she was a goner.

Eleven shook her head, stubborn to her frail cause, "I could bring something with me."

The understanding in his eyes changed, and a harsh knowing replaces it instead.

From his expression, she thought he might have agreed and given up on the mere suggestion itself.

"We'll deal with it when it comes to it."

She is so shocked by his response, by how laidback he is, that her tears stop just for a moment. Her face is crusty with the drying tears and she can already feel the headache coming on, but Eleven knows now that this affair is genuine. She has to deny, before she even considers the possibility.

"No – Will."

"Yes, Eleven. Chances are you won't – that won't happen."

He almost reminds her of her 'Papa' but she knows better not to equate the two. Will had seen what the Upside Down was like for a week without any sort of power to aid him, no food, etc. He was being assertive for her own good. Not his. And he's reassuring. His smile is real. He wouldn't benefit from this in any way.

Eleven decided that unless the person is a monster, never to liken anyone to 'Papa' again. Will sounded more like someone worried than someone who wanted something from her.

"Mike needs you back Eleven. Just trust me on that. And he'd welcome you with open arms, even if a Thessylhydra managed to get out too."

His face came to her mind at the very mention of it, tears running down scared and angry pink cheeks when she said bye. The ache in her heart and the pit of her stomach as she holds onto Will's hand tells her all she needs to know.

Maybe she could go back after all.

"If we're connected El, I want to use this to help you get out of here…do you know if you can?"

Eleven blushed somewhat, an identifier to the information she kept privy from the outside world of the Upside Down. It might be useful now, but it's admittedly dangerous if she ever figures out a way but it doesn't keep the monsters in.

Eleven looked away as she nodded in confirmation, as he sucked in some breath like it was a bad move. When she looks worried that he'll hate her, Will is immediately supporting her again.

"We'll deal with everything when it comes to it. What's important is that we get you out of here as soon as we can. What do we need you to do to get you out?"

Eleven shrugged, being completely honest, "I don't know how…"

Will was undeniably crushed to hear this, but that changed with what she said next.

"There's a spot near your house."

She's not sure if she should continue, until he squeezes her hand calmly.

"It's weak, but not open."

Will took a few seconds to think about this, scrambling his brain for anything significant.

"Are you weak too?" asked Will distractedly.

Eleven almost laughed. It was the first time she was bursting with the stuff in her veins and tingling in her fingertips, ready to unleash some sort of bleeding anger on any monster that didn't know the hierarchy. She shook her head and while she couldn't find the right words for what she wanted to explain to Will, Eleven seemed to eventually make sense when she used her free hand, to stack where she was in comparison to the Demogorgon and how powerful she was now.

Will seemed to look relaxed by the thought that Eleven was top of the Food Chain of the Upside Down. It was then the erratic coughing started and Eleven started to panic – she knew he was sick, but she also didn't want to see him go so soon.

"Follow my warmth Eleven, find the Supercom I left behind in Castle Byers and break open the gateway."

He seemed to struggle to get this out and he was obstinate she understand every word he said. Eleven nodded response and then slowly his head fell forward to let out a wracking cough.

Will started to fade away again shortly after, until she could no longer feel his warm, soft hands.

/

Sitting in silence for some time, Eleven had been stirring in her mind deeply of what could be.

While she knew she had some sense of duty tied to the Upside Down, she'd wondered just for a minute, if giving it all up was possible, that nothing bad would happen. Will had been determined for her to understand that this was not necessary and that maybe she was just punishing herself for something that had been out of her hands even when she created it. And if she could find a way out, she should use it.

Eleven wanted to leave so badly. She wanted to read more books and breathe fresh air, and feel the warmth of the sun on her face. She wanted her Christmas and her summer, the way it was described in books was too magnificent for her to miss out in her lifetime.

But most of all, she wanted to see her friends, and to join a family, if anyone wanted her.

Looking around her basement, she wondered if she was abandoning it, in a strange feeling of guilt. The basement wasn't a living thing, but it was the closest thing she'd had to owning anything of her own machinations in her life.

And then she'd looked to the caved in part of the basement. There was just too much out there to live with, and she found herself craving the attention she felt when her hand touched Will's.

Maybe he was right. Maybe if she didn't have to, she shouldn't have to live breathing through a gas mask.

Conflicted, emotional and utterly exhausted with this existence, Eleven knew this wouldn't be the case if she was in the good dimension.

And for once she had thought, "Why me?"

Because she didn't choose to be telekinetic. She didn't choose any of what she did in the lab, she was following rules until it started to hurt others, and then she couldn't do it anymore. Eleven was named after a number, which in meeting others once she escaped made her realise wasn't the norm. Eleven was a weapon and not a person.

And she'd been using herself as a weapon with a brain in the Upside Down for too long.

She was only doing what he wanted.

While her sense of preservation began to kick in, Eleven forced it away.

"No. This is about what's best for me."

And for the first time, Eleven felt confident in the idea of escaping for good, for her wellbeing.

She sprung up from her place on the couch and started packing. If this was the last time she saw this place she wanted to take some things with her, but not everything.

Eleven wouldn't fit everything even if she desired to. She carefully chose what she treasured most and wore what she could on her person. Mike's jacket, the newspaper clipping safely tucked in the pocket was without a doubt coming with her.

She packed a flashlight as usual and some batteries just in case. She grabbed one box of Eggo's just in case and found her overly used mini bottle, pouring in some clean water. The sanitary pads were refilled so she left them and only took one on the chance she set off a fresh flow from what she was likely expending herself to do tonight. Most of what was in her backpack was clothes and books, treasured items while she left some behind.

Supposing that this world was still open, supposing that someone had been dragged into the Upside Down, supposing that they managed to escape and found this place. Eleven wanted there to be food and water, extra flashlights, batteries, toiletries and other necessities to get by in the Upside Down.

And also on the small chance that this didn't work, there would be everything still lain out to come back to.

Before she was about to leave, Eleven found herself stopping in her tracks.

In a small compartment in the Upside Down basement she stored the very first dress she'd ever worn, ripped, dirty and torn but still very much beloved to Eleven's heart. The flannel too was folded in Eleven's own style and the old shoes sat on top. She grabbed them, seeing no one would have any use for them as they were in shreds anyway, but a sentimental factor kept her from leaving them here altogether.

Once zipped up and wearing a couple of layers, Eleven placed her gas mask on the couch and the goggles next to them. She wanted to leave them behind because she felt that if she took them with her she was allowing the possibility for failure to occur. She'd breathed in the atmosphere for a little while before the box became part of her survival, and it was mostly fine for a short amount of time. Eleven didn't want to set up the idea that someone might enter the Upside Down involuntarily, but she wanted to cover all her bases just in case. A pang of guilt still remained at how closely anchored the Upside Down was to the good dimension when a trip to the Communists in her mind let her discover the Demogorgon in her findings.

But she wouldn't let it fester in her moment of, hopefully, future freedom.

Manually she turned off all the lamps and flashlights left, and went up the rickety staircase to the main foundation.

Her little trek to Castle Byers led her to dissociate too easily, and while weary of what could come out at these weird night hours, Eleven felt herself dipping into the fond memories of her week of freedom from the lab.

The rousing feeling in her gut from what she could be doing now in the good dimension was enough to push her onward and soon enough she could see Will's house in the distance.

Eleven could always sense when there was a creature nearby, and hadn't let that feeling slip since she caved in the basement window in fright. Swallowing comfortably, she kept her pace; it was wise not to show fear to these creatures, since it made them think they had the upper hand.

Approaching Castle Byers with hardly an inkling of concern, Eleven could feel the goose bumps raising on her arms and could feel the ground shaking underneath her.

She stopped so violently that the force diminished, possibly in curiosity.

Turning on the spot, Eleven stared down a creature she'd not faced before, but saw that it was familiar to one of the lesser ones, but had a couple of more heads. It was scalier and didn't ooze quite as much as the others did, but she knew she had very little effort to spread herself out tonight. It would be nothing when comparing it to her first monster kill.

She locked herself into her curse and her blessing, as the monster stepped forward and gave a roar.

Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack.

It was all that could be heard and seemed to shock the creature into silence.

Eleven broke every single bone in its body, her go to if she wanted to get on with life quicker and without too much of a recovery session afterwards. It screamed in agony, as she expected and while she could have killed it, Eleven wanted a good reserve in her system for this expedition home.

The three-headed creature cried out in agony, but she knew it would have killed her had it had the chance to. With no instruments around to manually end its life, she closed her eyes in some regret and turned back on her heel.

There was a feeling akin to hate and pity when it came to killing these creatures.

They had been brought into a world where they ate each other for sustenance and their one desire for human flesh was dangled in front of them everyday only to have proven to be the worst predator to come across. Eleven didn't kill for food; she had killed for survival and in some sense, to have one less monster in the Upside Down, one less opportunity for someone to be taken if a gateway opened again.

She knew there wasn't malice intent, but when her life depended on it, she would kill them the easiest, and sometimes unfortunately the most torturous way possible.

But she couldn't dwell on the morals for leaving this creature for a slow and painful death of starvation or to be food for the smaller creatures, further down the food chain. Picturing the day she buried Barb in the Wheelers backyard, she knew there was sometimes a way to push down the pity and ignite the indifference.

The screeching torture decreased as she walked away and found herself deeper in the woods by Will's home.

Castle Byers had been destroyed but everything underneath the original basic standing base for shelter was maintained underneath it.

She was careful when picking through the items until she found a very old and crusted up Supercom. It buzzed to life, albeit shakily when she turned it on.

Find the Supercom I left in Castle Byers. Check.

She had to wait for a long time by Castle Byers, of which she endured her own anxiety, until she felt the warmth that she'd felt every other time.

Follow the warmth. Check.

It was then she started channelling the boy, but knew if she were to use her powers, she was possibly going to weaken herself and sabotage her exit in doing so. The warmth remained, even as the Supercom struggled.

Her heart began to sink. If she hadn't had to injure that monster, Eleven would've pushed some of her powers for this, but she was too scared to if she ended up unconscious and weak and came across another monster.

Somehow, the warmth that she could assume well was Will, had found a different way to communicate.

'Follow Me' appeared in a red ink on the ground and soon enough an arrow starts to form itself in the same ink on the ground. Eleven's heart begins to race. This could actually come through. She drops the Supercom and follows it.

When she starts to feel the warmth straying a little bit, a new red arrow reveals itself, keeping them back on the same track. Eleven's heart is pounding when she finds herself in a familiar area, the same area she had marked only a few nights before.

The two trees opposite each other, with bark stripped in neat lines, don't seem to be the link to the gateway she was looking for. Will continues on spraying and the arrows take her to a large tree a little further away, but right smack bang in the middle of the two trees placement, once she looks back to check.

That same whistling in the near stagnant wind of the Upside Down, the same smell of fresh air, it fires her up and Will is leading her closer and closer with every other step. Until it takes her to the other side of a large tree, where she sees a much older X spray painted on the tree, marking it for reasons that Eleven slowly begins to understand.

A large, gaping hole, a creation of the tree itself is fine until she sees how the Upside Down has taken its toll on it. It dribbles with a sticky, smelly substance and Eleven is sure it isn't going to be pleasant.

Taking a deep breath, Eleven waited for instructions only to see the word 'Here' spray painted on the tree for confirmation.

Pinning her nose closed with two fingers, Eleven enters the hole, and finds herself going in deeper than she thought was possible for the diameter of the tree, but knows she's heading in the right direction when she can smell the good dimension through the Upside Down at a much stronger sense than before. Finally as though coming full circle, Eleven finds the end and knows what she had to do. The hole is tiny, but it's enough to make her gasp in delight.

And she knows what she has to do.

Break open the gateway.

It had made sense when Will asked her if she was weak – only to look confident when she responded with "stronger".

Eleven decided to go slow, she wanted to survive this and so her build up was everything.

Behind her build up was the thoughts she'd gathered over the last 24 hours. Eleven hadn't been so emotionally invested in a year and now her waiting was over. She could eat food anytime she needed to, she never had to look back in fear of the monsters ever again – she never had to wear that stupid mask. She could bathe properly and not have to ration water.

Eleven would see other human beings again and she would never take that fact for

granted ever. She would see friends, and people she could trust.

The warmth that she could sense from her connection to Will was stronger now, the strongest it had ever been and she almost felt herself splitting apart again, and felt the blood trickle down her nose, oddly like an old friend coming back to say hello after some time of it never occurring.

She was screaming but the hole had started to crack and the noise was so deep it that it almost frightened her, but Eleven persisted.

If she died now, at least she died trying.

And that last sentiment thrust her forward as the crack broke the tree and let it fall like the glass of a mirror shattering.

She was somewhere else now, and it was still dark, but the sense of something crisp, raw and clean was too strong to be anything like the Upside Down. Her senses finally felt the crunch of leaves underneath her hands and she could hear birds flapping their wings and some protesting the disturbance.

Birds.

And then slowly, footsteps came rushing after her. She was being pulled out, still uncomfortably attached to the tree, until she felt herself laid out on the cool, wet ground.

"Eleven, oh my god, Eleven."

She could hardly move. Stiff and in a lot of pain and very, very exhausted, she looked up with the most effort she felt she needed for something so normal.

But she could barely see the person when they grabbed her up, hoisting her against them, as weak and lightweight as she was, and held her close. They were wet and wobbly in the face when she caught glimpse and started to see small things that she could identify.

"You're here, you're really here."

"I am," she said tiredly, disbelief and happiness carrying through. "I'm here."

It was hearing her respond at all that had Will's heart soaring. She was back, and finally the universe was right again. Or at least they thought it was.

/ = new divider because the usual one isn't working.