I LIVE! (Heya, I'm back.)
This is a nice and easy transition chapter after the shitstorm that was the one before. Aftercare is important guys, don't let it be said that I don't take care of my readers!
Also a big thanks to laíla789 who pointed out a mistake I made a few chapters ago!
To be honest, Reishi has been expecting something like this for a while now. Kind of.
Fuhaku's hostility had grown during the last months, never as bad as to physically harm Reishi, as the woman had enough self-restraint not to. However, her hate for the ninja profession, spurned by her sisters words every time they came to visit her or everytime she went to them, had made Reishi start to wonder when would she finally snap.
Reishi doesn't blame Fuhaku, rather, she has come to the understanding that there's just so much the woman could stand before breaking. Having a monster of a daughter that looks almost exactly like your dead husband living with you and becoming the thing you hate the most – a ninja – must have been a low blow for Fuhaku.
Understanding this doesn't mean that Reishi thinks that what Fuhaku did was okay, or that she would react in the same way were she in Fuhaku's shoes, but it does prevent her from hating Fuhaku for kicking her out. The woman needs time away from her to heal, and Reishi is fine with that.
Fugaku's spurt of the moment decision hasn't sit well with the Uchiha elders, who consider that letting Reishi stay at the compound, coupled with teaching her Uchiha techniques, is too much. They refuse to agree with Fugaku's decision unless Reishi is adopted into the Uchiha and engaged with a member of the clan.
(The lengths to which the clans try to secure their members marrying into the stronger individuals to secure a capable new generation utterly disgusts her.)
Despite Mikoto's and Fugaku's insistence, she doesn't plan to stay at the Uchiha compound more than necessary. The moment she has enough money to get an apartment she's out.
Thankfully, now that she's a genin, she should be able to do a few missions here and there, though she's not sure if not having a team will affect the missions she can take.
It's been two days since the incident and all the village is talking about it, she'd like to scream and let the world know that it was a fluke, that she just won by luck, but what good would that do? They would probably take it for modesty.
She walks downstairs from the guest room they have prepared for her and finds Fugaku in the kitchen, he's the only one there. If Reishi remembers correctly, Mikoto had to go early today to the hospital for a routine examination; to make sure everything is going well with the baby, and Kushina was going to accompany her. Because girl's day out, or something.
Reishi and Fugaku have different plans today though, she has an appointment with Hisoka, her psychiatrist from last time. As much as she has assured him that she's okay, he has not budged in this, and while she understands that he's worried, she can't help but feel a little betrayed that he's taking her there against her will. She does not have good memories of her last time there and if that woman asks about her mother again, she can't promise she won't set the building on fire. Strangers have no business in her life.
Fugaku looks at her worriedly when she ignores the eggs in favour of only drinking a glass of orange juice and she shrugs, she can't help it if she's not hungry and she doesn't want to risk throwing up again.
Thankfully, he lets it go, and soon they're both ready for her appointment. She'd rather go alone, and she doesn't see why does Fugaku want to come with her, he's not allowed to be in the room while Hisoka 'interrogates' her, so his presence is not required. However, she has to admit that having him by her side soothes her, if only a little.
Hisoka had been surprised when she heard that a six year old had killed a man last night, she was not so surprised when she learnt who this six year old was. Not that she thinks that Reishi is some sort of psychopath, as she lacks some of the most prominent symptoms of this affliction – a sociopathy wouldn't be out of place though – but it is true that the kid is... creepy. Like there's an older being inside a body that does not belong there.
Hisoka wouldn't be able to explain it, but there's something very wrong with that child and it has nothing to do with the individualistic mentality everybody seems to be worried about.
And here she is, sitting in front of her and looking rather displeased. That's not a face that a six year old should be able to make.
"Hello," Hisoka greets her, forcing a smile. The kid gives a nod in acknowledgement, it seems that she will be as quiet and uncooperative as the last time she saw her. The bags under her eyes have gotten darker. "Are you sleeping well?"
Reishi shrugs, her hands resting on her lap like before. "I've been sleeping a lot these days, I haven't been having dreams or anything, I've just been tired."
That's probably the longest phrase Hisoka has heard from the girl up until now.
"I see, and besides tired, how are you feeling?"
"I'm fine." This comes out defiantly, like she's daring her to say otherwise.
Hisoka realizes that rather than drawn in, like last time, Reishi's posture seems to be hostile. Probably, she supposes, because she didn't want to come here in the first place; which is another oddity, because most children, unless they are very shy, love to talk about themselves.
"That's commendable," she decides to try prising her, to see if maybe her sense of pride will open her up, "most people tend to get very ill when this sort of thing happens to them."
The girl scoffs, seemingly offended, though Hisoka doesn't exactly know what is it that offended her. "It's okay," Reishi says bitterly, "you can say post-traumatic stress disorder."
Oh, so attempts to talk to her like the rest of the children are seen as an insult. Interesting, perhaps a new take on this patient would be more beneficial; she decides to try treating her as she would a normal adult patient.
"Reports say that you stopped a war criminal from escaping the village, I would like to hear what happened from you personally."
The girl seems to give it some thought, then proceeds to speak with practised calm. "The man caught me when I was coming home, it was late. He used me as a hostage to leave the village's walls, once we were a good distance away he stopped, presumably to formulate a plan, and I incapacitated him."
Reishi describes the event with clinical detachment, there is just one thing wrong with her description. "You killed him."
"Yes."
"Do you feel guilty about it?"
"No."
Hisoka frowns, usually, when confronted with this question, people pause and think about it. Even then the conclusion they usually reach is along the lines of 'yes, but it was necessary for my survival and I would do it again'. The answer Reishi has given came too quickly, too natural."Would you mind elaborating your answer?"
"He chose to be a ninja, he knew that dying was a risk and that the probability of a violent death was high in that job. If I die because I chose a dangerous path in the mountain and a landslide crushed me, it's my responsibility, not the landslide's."
"So you're saying that his death is his own responsibility?"
"Exactly, I would feel guilty about killing a civilian, but someone who chose the path of war knew the repercussions. As a ninja, I am responsible for my own death and the ones of the people I fail to protect, no more no less."
Reishi finishes her chat with the psychiatrist in less than an hour, and when they're done Fugaku is still waiting outside, sitting on one of the chairs with a perfect posture. Hisoka asks him to enter her office for a private talk.
Reishi decides to wait until he's done, taking the lollipop from the kind assistant when offered and putting it away in her pocket for later.
She hasn't answered truthfully to Hisoka's questions, obviously, and she's proud of the fact that she's getting better at lying. She didn't lie per se, she does think that people ought to know the risks when taking a job like this.
But how to talk about the soul crushing numbness? The feeling of being hollow inside, being only a husk that could crumble down at a mere touch? The terrible tiredness and the inability to eat?
She's not telling that to a stranger, even if she's a psychiatrist, she has no business with Reishi. She will talk about it when she feels ready, not when somebody else deems it opportune.
Her mind is the last thing that truly belongs to her, and she's not going to give it up.
Fugaku comes out of the office in about ten minutes, he's paler than usual and when he looks at her it's with different eyes than before. Then he sighs and it's gone, he just looks tired and maybe a little bit older.
Reishi is... a little upset about it. Somewhere along the line she started worrying about Fugaku's opinion of her, and as much as she tries to deny it, he and Mikoto have become pivotal on her daily life.
Fugaku walks to the exit and signals her to follow him. Reishi rushes behind him with the feeling that she has disappointed him somehow. Her stress levels are rising and she feels again like throwing up.
To her surprise, instead of going straight for the compound they take a detour through the more commercial area of Konoha, where Fugaku enters a small patisserie. She follows him inside and revels in the smells and how pretty the displayed sweets look. This must be a fancy place.
"What would you like?" Fugaku's voice startles her.
"Huh?"
"I'm going to get Mikoto some dango, would you like something too?"
Reishi isn't sure; there's a high chance of her throwing up whatever she eats. However, declining his offer might be rude. "Maybe a few mochi?"
Fugaku nods. "What flavour?"
"Red bean paste is okay."
He pays and they come out of the patisserie with two boxes full of sweets. To be honest Reishi just wanted one mochi, maybe two. Not twelve.
She stares at Fugaku as they walk, analysing his stance. His shoulders are stiff, stiffer than usual, and he walks fast; she has to consciously make an effort to keep up. He only walks that fast when he's agitated. His free arm is hanging parallel to his body, always proper.
She ogles the hand, pondering, and thinks 'fuck it'.
Fugaku startles when Reishi grabs his hand, actually showing a surprised expression for a few seconds before his face returns to his normal state of severity. Reishi, for her part, is trying not to look at him, too tense with the fear of rejection to say or do anything.
Without a word, Fugaku's hand tightens around hers and she lets her shoulders fall, relieved.
They walk back to the compound, Fugaku adapting his steps to Reishi's, and she finds herself smiling like an idiot. Ryouji used to walk holding hands with her, she won't ever replace him, but it feels good, this feels good.
They sit at the kitchen table to eat a few mochis accompanied by green tea. Reishi hates green tea, but in six years she hasn't been able to find black or red tea anywhere. When she has her own house, she's going to make her own blends.
After a few minutes of silence, Fugaku broaches the subject.
"I know that you weren't completely honest with the psychiatrist. She told me what you said, and you might believe that on some degree, but I know you enough to know that that's not all." Reishi opens her mouth to say something, but he rises a hand in a placating manner. "I'm not going to pressure you into talking about it. Killing is a very traumatic experience, and on top of that you went through a hostage situation and the argument with your mother. Talking to a psychiatrist doesn't always work, however, you do need to talk about it with someone." He seems to think about it for one second before adding, "Mikoto and I are here for whatever you need."
Reishi fights against the tears trying to come out, a battle she was meant to lose, apparently. She can't believe that somebody who isn't her family, who has known her for less than half a year, would accept her fully, even when she's not being truthful. He doesn't even know her, none of them do. If they knew that she has been planning to let them die like a coward for six years, would they stay by her side?
Of course not, she doesn't deserve them. She doesn't deserve Obito, or Mikoto, or Fugaku.
And yet...
The tears run down her face and she finds herself ugly sobbing, her vision becomes blurry and she hides her face in her hands. She hears shuffling and the distinct sound of a chair being dragged, and then she feels a hand drawing circles in her back.
She reaches for Fugaku and he instantly wraps his arms around her. He smells like iron and the perfume Mikoto bought for him two months ago.
"Awwwww! Mikoto, come here, quick! They're being cute!"
The click of a camera and a female voice Reishi doesn't recognize interrupts the moment, making Reishi confused enough to stop crying.
Fugaku tenses, clearly itching to put some distance between them, but decides against it in the last moment and sighs.
"It's a pleasure to see you again Uzumaki-san."
Reishi risks a glance at the newcomer and, sure enough, the sight of Kushina Uzumaki greets her. She's busy seeing how the picture she just took is coming out of her instant camera – Reishi didn't even knew there were those in this world, though she has seen photographs before so it makes sense – picking it up and shaking it excitedly. Once it's revealed she shows it to Mikoto, who has just entered the room, and they both gush about what a good dad Fugaku is going to be and how cute Reishi is.
Reishi sniffles, slightly offended – she's not cute god dammit – and nestles more comfortably against Fugaku, his chest rumbles in a silent laugh. She's kind of glad that Kushina defused the situation.
She's glad, that is, until both woman see her face and realize that it wasn't just a cute hug and she had been crying.
Kushina starts apologizing profusely, while Mikoto starts firing question after question 'are you alright? Did something happen? What happened?'. Both women are talking over each other, making it difficult to understand what they're saying. Reishi gives a long suffering sigh.
"I'm fine, really," then, to divert attention from herself, "Fugaku bought sweets."
"I wasn't sure which dango flavour you wanted so I brought a bit of everything. Also a few mochis for Reishi," Fugaku adds, and Reishi is grateful that he's helping her change the subject. It's good to have another emotionally constipated person on your side.
Both women seem reluctant to let it go, but in the end they give in to the temptation of sweets, though Reishi still sees their inquisitive stares from time to time.
Kushina stays for lunch, and she turns out to be very good at carrying conversations all by herself. She's funny, Reishi thinks, and finds herself smiling back at the woman. This time she is able to eat half of the plate before her stomach refuses to let any more in.
She won't have training for a week, it's Konoha's standard for when one of their ninjas goes through a traumatic event. Reishi laughs in the face of whoever thought a week was enough, but at the same time, she itches to practice again. It has only been two days and she has already ran out of ideas about what to do with her sudden surplus of time.
She decides that it's time to leave the house. She has been holed up inside, avoiding everyone, until this morning. And even then she just left to go to her appointment with the psychiatrist.
She resolves to pay Obito a visit. He must be home already after the academy.
The smell of stew greets her when she lands on the roof of the house in front of Obito's window, where she can see that his plants have gotten even bigger. For a moment she debates whether or not to enter through the window like many times before, but she decides that at those times he was expecting her and it would be rude to enter somebody's house without telling them beforehand.
She jumps to the ground and enters through the communal space of the building, climbing two sets of stairs until she arrives at Obito's floor. She hadn't realized how much she had missed him until now that the familiarity of the building makes her feel nostalgic.
She knocks on the door and waits for Obito to answer, bouncing on the balls of her feet, but when Obito opens the door, she suddenly doesn't know what to do.
Obito freezes in the doorway upon seeing her, looking like he just saw a ghost, and then thick tears start to roll out of his eyes and he pulls Reishi into a tight hug.
She lets him sob on her shoulder, though it's an awkward posture because she is a head shorter than him, and pushes him gently towards the inside of the house, closing the door behind them.
She hugs Obito back, hesitant at first, but soon she is clutching her friend like a life saver in a raging sea, which isn't that far from reality.
For his part, Obito seems to be stuttering apologies. For what exactly, she isn't sure, but she holds him until he calms down anyways. She isn't very good at comforting words, so a hug is the least she can grant him.
"I'm so glad you're okay!" It's the first intelligible thing she hears Obito say.
"I'm sorry I worried you."
"Damn straight you are! I haven't seen you in two days! I thought you had been injured, we even went to the hospital after class!"
Reishi frowns, confused. "We?"
"Yeah Ibiki and Shirakumo were very worried. I mean, they're never going to admit it out loud but I know they were. Gai and Ebisu wanted to get you flowers," Obito explains.
"Oh, that's- that's nice. Thanks."
"Well don't thank me, thank the guys when you come back to class."
"Haven't they told you?"
Obito cocks his head to the side, confused. "Told us what?"
"They decided to give me a field promotion. I'm a genin now so..."
"You won't be coming back to the academy," Obito finishes for her. He forces a smile and tries to look cheerful, but it's obvious that the news of her graduating have upset him. "Woah that's amazing Reishi! Genin at six years old! You really are a genius, huh?" Obito punches her arm playfully.
"Yeah, it's great," she says with a forced smile of her own. She suspects that hers isn't as convincing as Obito's.
"Hey! Why don't we go tell everyone the great news? I'm sure they'll be thrilled to know you're fine!"
Reishi doesn't have the heart to tell him no, in fact she doesn't think she could ever deny anything to this child with his stupidly bright smile, so she surrenders and lets him drag her to the park where apparently everyone from the academy goes to play after lunch.
She kind of remembers Gai inviting her to this 'social gathering' once, but she had declined. Besides being busy training with Fugaku, she doesn't really like playing childish games, she'd rather hole up inside with a book.
Their classmates, well Obito's classmates, stop what they're doing the moment they see Reishi enter the park and freeze for a moment, as if not believing their eyes.
The spell is broken soon though, when Ibiki decides to greet her by grabbing her in a headlock and giving her a noogie. He knows she hates noogies, the asshole.
"Look who came back from the dead! If it isn't the brand new village's hero herself!"
"Ibiki I swear to god, either you let me go or-"
Ibiki interrupts her before she can finish the phrase. "Shove it, girlie. This is your punishment for disappearing on us. Now, suffer!"
While Ibiki is busy giving her the noogie of death, Shirakumo walks closer and gives her a nod of acknowledgement and a small smile. "I take it you'll be back at the academy soon? I'm looking forward to continue with our friendly rivalry."
God why does he have to be so formal, she just wants to deck him in the face every time he opens his mouth, and it's really frustrating too, because she doesn't even know why. Besides, "I've told you already, we're not rivals!"
Ever since she started training with Fugaku and climbing in the rankings, Shirakumo seemed to have adopted her as his rival for some reason. Well, mostly because after Kakashi left he was the best of the class and now Reishi had started to be a threat to his title, but still, a rivalry? Really? Were ninjas just unhappy without a rival at school? Because everybody seemed to have a rival for some reason.
Gai laughs in her proximity, somewhere to her left that she can't see because she's still in Ibiki's headlock.
"Obito," she yells, "help me out of here, you traitor!"
"Can't do Rei-chan, they've outnumbered us. There is no hope," he says with a defeated sigh.
"Don't worry Ikotsu-san, I shall save you with the power of youth!" Gai yells, and suddenly a green blur collides with Ibiki, making the three of them tumble down. Reishi is so tired.
"Guys!" Chastises Ebisu, "you have to be more respectful with Ikotsu-san! That is not the proper way to treat a lady!"
Somewhere behind him, a voice she doesn't remember hearing before starts laughing. It seems to belong to a boy and, sure enough, when Reishi looks up from the human pile she's a part of, she sees a boy from her class.
The boy walks to her and offers her a hand, smiling. He is wearing a navy bandanna tied in the front of his head and a navy hoodie. His brown hair is as long as hers but, unlike her unruly sea of waves, his is straight.
"Heya," he says when she is on her feet again, "I don't think we've ever talked before."
"You're Genma, I remember you beating my score at throwing senbon," Reishi says as she dusts herself and discreetely makes Ibiki trip while he's getting up and make him fall back down, where he belongs. She isn't going to let the noogie pass that easily.
"Yup, that was me," he smirks, a facial expression that looks painfully wrong in the face of a kid his age. She kind of remembers him being older than Obito for two or three years but still, wrong, "you pay attention to everyone outside your group of friends or just me?"
"Hell no, please don't do that, just- No," Reishi can't resist but cringe. This boy is way too young to be flirting with her. This boy is too young to be flirting, period.
Genma laughs it up and, with that, he has successfully joined the group. Hooray.
They all insist in throwing a celebration for Reishi's field promotion to genin, and against such a big crowd she can't really say anything against it. Well, she can, but they sure as hell won't listen to a thing she says.
They are a bizarre group, that's for sure. Gai keeps crying 'tears of youth' because he is very proud of Reishi, or so he keeps yelling. He lacks an indoors voice.
For his part, Shirakumo keeps reminding her that even though she has won this time by graduating before him (she hasn't won anything? They're not rivals!), they shall have a showdown fight when they are both genin. And it will be epic, and full of honour. Ibiki supports him, happy to enable anything that annoys the shit out of Reishi.
At some point or another of the evening, Rin joins them, and she and Ebisu nerd out on their own.
Obito and Genma have surprisingly hit it off right away, and they seem to be bonding over genjutsu and other jutsus they think are cool.
As much as Reishi hates to admit it, right now, surrounded by this pack of idiots, is the time she has felt more at peace ever since the incident two days ago.
Fun fact: Mikoto has dango cravings during her pregnancy and that's why they are so prominent in the Uchiha house. Probably thanks to Itachi being a sweet tooth even in the womb.