Raw: July 23, 2007
"Wait." I say to John. "Hold up. You and Candice are supposed to fight Umaga, Murdoch, and Cade in a Handicap match?"
"Yeah…" John says.
"What kind of crazy bullshit is that?"
"I don't know."
"Where's Vince?"
"His office."
"Good."
"Don't do it."
"Why not?"
"Vince could pull you from the Battle Royal if he doesn't like you saying something about tonight's match."
"I highly doubt it. I'm going to go talk to him."
John sighs. "Whatever."
I walk into Mr. McMahon's office without knocking. "Mr. McMahon, I usually don't question your decisions, but what the hell?"
Mr. McMahon laughs. "Marissa, first of all, call me Vince. Second of all, sit down."
"Okay…tonight's main event…why-"
"Why put Candice in it? It was Jonathan Coachman's idea."
"And a stupid one at that."
"I know. But I knew if I told John about it, you'd come marching in here to complain about it. I wanted to see how long it would take you."
"So is it not the main event?"
"No. It is. But I figured you would want to be at ringside, and I'm going to allow it."
I laugh. "Screw putting me at ringside. I want in the damn match."
"Are you sure?"
"Vince, I have more experience than Candice in matches like this. Hell, I have a pinfall victory over Randy Orton, who I know is next in line for a shot at the WWE Championship. Let me in."
"Umaga, Murdoch, and Cade aren't going to be as careful with you as Orton and Edge were."
"They weren't careful with me. Especially not Randy. He cost me seven months of my career. I want in. To help Candice."
"Fine. But you have to have a segment with Coachman to have a storyline reason to be in. By the way, it's no disqualification."
"Okay. Thank you."
"Jonathan," Todd Grisham says. "Sorry to bother you, but have you made a decision as to who will face John Cena for the WWE Championship at SummerSlam?"
"You know, Grisham. I have seen a lot of great things tonight. I have made my decision, but before I let you or the public know who it is, I need to go inform the Challenger. Thanks for stopping by." Jonathan Coachman says.
"Coach," I say walking up. "We need to talk."
"Sure, Marissa. What's up?"
"What the hell is going on with the main event you made for tonight? Whatever your problem is with John Cena…you don't need to involve Candice in it."
"Why not?"
"You are having her face the Intercontinental Champion, Umaga, and the Tag Team Champions, Cade and Murdoch. They're monsters. Who knows what they're going to do to her?"
"I put her in because I was looking at her not as a Diva but a champion."
"Are you trying to say Divas are weak?"
"No. But I'm not taking Candice out of the match."
"Put me in the match with her and John then."
"Why?"
"Because I have more experience in these matches than she does. Need I remind you that I have a pinfall victory over Randy Orton."
"Fine…you should try to stay on my good side." Jonathan walks away.
I roll my eyes. "Whatever."
"You did what now?" John asks.
"I convinced Vince to add me to the match."
"You're crazy. I can't tag you in."
"John, I have a pinfall victory over Randy. I can do this. You can't fight all the members of the opposing team alone."
"I know."
"I'll see you out there."
"See ya out there."
("Virtual Voodoo" plays)
"The following contest is a No Disqualification Intergender Tag Team match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from the Isle of Samoa, the Intercontinental Champion, Umaga!"
("Southern Pride" plays)
"And his partners, the World Tag Team Champions, Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch!"
Let me show you what love is.
Let me show you how to move your body.
Let me show you how to make me crazy.
Too much loving never hurt nobody…
"And their opponents, first, the team of Marissa and the WWE Women's Champion, Candice Michelle!"
Your time is up, my time is now
You can't see me, my time is now
It's the franchise, boy I'm shinin now
You can't see me, my time is now!..
"And their partner, from West Newbury, Massachusetts, weighing in at 240 pounds, he is the WWE Champion, John Cena!"
Ding! Ding! Ding!
John immediately starts trying to fight off all three of our opponents. They get John in corner and beat on him whilst tagging in and out. Cade and Murdoch start double teaming John. Cade pins John.
1…2…kickout!
Cade tags in Umaga, and they double team John. Then, Umaga starts unloading punches on John. He then harshly Irish Whips John into a corner. John falls. Umaga tags Murdoch in. John starts hitting Murdoch. Murdoch gets the advantage and pins John.
1…2…kickout!
Murdoch and Cena exchange punches. John hits Springboard Stunner on Murdoch. Cade gets involved and receives a Suplex. Umaga gets involved and hits a Sidewalk Slam on John. That's when I notice Cade and Murdoch are on either side of me and Candice.
"Candice." I whisper. "We're in trouble."
"I'm going to back away." She says. "Let's see if they split up."
She backs up into the ring and right into Umaga.
"Oh shit." I mutter.
She backs into a corner and is on the ground. Cade and Murdoch each grab an arm and start screaming. Umaga backs up, preparing to attack her. I panic, not knowing how to save Candice.
Suddenly, I hear cheers. Jeff Hardy is running to the ring with a steel chair. He starts hitting Umaga. Candice escapes and runs backstage. Jeff and Umaga head backstage as well.
Murdoch goes after John and receives a Back Body Drop. John tosses Cade from the ring and Murdoch into the ring post. John tags me in. He then picks up Murdoch and hits the FU. I then prepare for a Superkick. Cade appears on the apron, so I hit him with a Superkick. Murdoch gets up and tries to fight me, but I block him and hit a Running Bulldog. I then hit a Superkick when he gets up. I then get up on the top turnbuckle and hit a Moonsault. I pin Murdoch.
1…2…3!
"Here are your winners, Candice Michelle, John Cena, and Marissa!"
John and I celebrate.
"I told you I could do it." I tell John.
"Okay." John says. "You were right."
"I know."
John grabs his championship, and I grab Candice's. We both turn around only for Randy to RKO John.
"Ladies and gentlemen," Jonathan Coachman says. "Your new Number One Contender and the man who will face John Cena for the WWE Championship at SummerSlam, Randy Orton!"
I stand in the corner of the ring and look at Randy nervously. Watching him RKO John right in front of me made me think about the RKO Incident again. Randy looks at me.
"Get out of the ring." Randy says.
"Why?" I say.
"Cause if you stay I'll be expected to RKO you again. We don't have approval for any kind of storyline together. Do you want to get us in trouble?"
I roll my eyes. "Whatever."
Randy points to make it look like he's telling me to leave. "We need to talk when I get backstage."
I exit the ring. "Do you really think I wanna talk to you?"
I head backstage without even turning back around to even look at Randy once.