~:~
"Now, y'all are going to sit here and shut up. Let me tell you what happened. And there will be no interruptions. Got it?" They nodded, crossing their arms, clearly not happy with the terms. "Thank you."
I took a deep breath. "A...good while back, before I met you Steve...well…" I furrowed my brow, and gave Steve a look. "Do you remember something about Tony rediscovering an element?"
"I thought you didn't want us to talk?" Sam remarked, earning a glare in reply.
Steve nodded. "Yeah, I remember something about that. The old reactor was killing him."
"Yeah, that. Well, Fury thought I had something to do with it, so he put an agent on me to watch me. Cue in Clint."
"What does this have to do with anything?"
"Steve, no interruptions. Let me talk." I huffed. "Well, Clint was the bodyguard. Mission: Keep the heiress alive until Tony isn't dying. And he succeeded. Tony found the element, and Coulson and Co went to New Mexico, and you know what happened there."
"In comes the new bodyguard, Grant. And from the start, I knew something was off. I couldn't tell what it was, but something was off. But...I brushed it off and focused on helping Tony with Vanko and Hammer. And once that was over, I was ready to move on, but Fury had other ideas."
"Turns out Fury had the same gut feeling about him. He asked me to keep him on, one way or another, and keep an eye on him. And that lasted for about a year. I kicked Grant to the curb. Abandoned the mission altogether. Fast forward to-"
Sam held up a hand. "Hold on. What happened?"
~:~
"Angie…." Grant knelt before me and grasped my hands, as I sat on the couch. "You know I love you, right?"
I sadly smiled. "I know you do. It's just...One day I know that's gonna be the end of you."
"What are you talking about?"
"Grant, if you're a part of something, I can get you out, just let me help you."
He shook his head. "It's not that simple, Angie. They would kill me, you too."
"I guess we're done, then," I replied, ripping myself from his grasp. "I can't have you bring your work home, and hurt me and my family."
"Hold on a second," he exclaimed, grabbing my hand before I could walk away. "Come with me. You could pretend…."
"No, Grant." I ripped my hand away. My phone began to ring. FURY.
"Hello?"
"Get to the base now. He's waking up."
"Good, cause I need to talk to you." I pulled the phone from my ear, and turned back to Grant.
"Don't do this, Angie. You could still come with me," Grant said.
"You and I both know I can't do that." I stormed away and grabbed my bag.
"If you walk out that door and do what I think you're about to do, you should highly reconsider," he said, stopping me in my tracks.
"Why's that?"
"You tell them about me and my employment…."
I scoffed. "Employment? Just tell the truth." I looked him straight in the eye. "HYDRA."
He gulped. "Whatever you want to call it. You tell them about me, I tell them about you." My face paled. "You, your family, the school, and the kid. And you and I both know that they shouldn't be involved."
"Fine…." I said through gritted teeth. "You keep your mouth shut, and I'll keep mine. You stay away, and so will I." I turned around to open the door and felt his hand on my wrist.
"You don't have to do this," he said, the hurt seeping into my mind. "We can-"
"No, Grant. You keep your end of the deal…." I pulled the door open. "And I'll keep mine."
~:~
"HYDRA?" Steve shook his head. "And you didn't tell anyone?"
"Back then, I didn't realize how bad it was. So, I brushed it off and tried to move on with my life. That's when they found you, Steve, and you know the story there. I buried myself in that until you were mostly self-sufficient. Fast forward to after New York."
"Me and Clint went on some 'friend/brother-sister' bonding trip. Both of us were stressed out, and thought, 'why not'. Somewhere along the way, I was alone and Fury approached me with this." I pulled out a folder and handed it to them. "And with some persuasion, I accepted."
~:~
"With what? Need me to spy on a possible HYDRA agent again," I joked. I saw his grave expression, and dropped my smile. "That's exactly what you need me to do."
"If you're willing." He handed me a file. "I would understand if you said no."
After skimming the file, I set it on the seat of the tractor and leaned against the wheel.
"If this is some ploy to try and get me to tell you what happened with Ward, it isn't gonna work."
"It isn't that," he replied. "I just think with your...talents...you could be a good asset."
"For who? SHIELD?" I scoffed. "Over my dead body."
"You aren't going to be working for SHIELD." He gestured towards the file again. "You'll be working for me."
I furrowed my brow and grabbed the file again, quickly noticing the absence of the emblem.
"If they find out, they could…"
"I understand that, Jarvis. But I can't let this spread any further than it already has." He took the file from my hands. "And like I said, you don't have to."
"But you'd rather me do it. Less conspicuous than Barton or Romanoff, and nobody would ever think I was a double agent."
"Precisely."
~:~
Steve looked up from the folder and handed it to Sam. "Clint didn't know?"
I shook my head. "If he had, then him and Nat would have beat Fury to a bloody pulp for even fancying the idea." I sighed.
"How long?"
"Over a year..."
"I've noticed," Sam replied, giving me the once-over. "You always look like you haven't slept. But…" he handed the file back to Steve, and stood up. "I thought you would tell me when you were ready, so I never pried." He turned and began to walk away. "But I guess I was wrong."
I grabbed his arm. "Sam, wait. Please?"
"Why didn't you tell us? No, why didn't you tell me?" He motioned to Steve. "I understand not telling them, but why not me?"
"If I did, they would have killed you," I exclaimed. "I already had enough death on my hands. I couldn't have yours on me too."
Both men gave me saddened looks.
"The first time I tried to stop them, I got a slap to the face and a warning: Never interfere, or you will end up like them. And every time that... I don't even remember how many times I threw up." My face paled. "I can still see their eyes, pleading for me to stop it. But I didn't."
"And the one that got to me the most was one of my teammates. I could tell he didn't want to be there, and I think he knew I didn't either."
"You almost blew your cover," Steve realized, shaking his head at the thought.
"I did," I replied. "So, the big boss sent the guy on a mission, and he never came back." Tears welled up in my eyes. "It took us three weeks to find his body. It had been burned to a crisp. Claimed that the mission went south, but I knew that wasn't true."
"So, in response, they gave me some time off, but 'keep alert, we may need you to come in'." I wiped a tear away. "Cue the evil ex-bodyguard/boyfriend. I guess word got around I was slipping, so they sent him in. And I thought, 10 months of recon down the drain."
"And what made it worse was that I couldn't tell you. You kept asking, Sam, but I couldn't." I turned to Steve. "And I couldn't tell you, because Fury didn't want you involved."
"What does the bridge have to do with all this?" Steve asked. "You explained what you've been doing, so, why didn't you just turn on them?"
"Because, Rumlow and his squad never met me, but they knew I was an asset," I replied.
"And what if it went wrong?" Sam asked.
"I knew Hill was in the van. I knew y'all would get out."
"If not?"
"I would have beat myself up everyday for letting you get killed."
"Did you know about Bucky? Or did you know about Howard and Maria?"
I shook my head, sadly. "I didn't, I'm sorry."
"Would you have told me if you did?" I opened my mouth to reply, but shut it and shook my head.
"Probably not. And would you have believed me?" I furrowed my brow. "And what about Howard and Maria? They died in a car accident." He tensed in reply. "No...No, no, no…" I raked my hands through my hair. Bile rose to my throat and I ran to the nearest trash can.
A pair of hands pulled my hair back, and handed me a tissue to wipe my mouth. I shook my head, sobs beginning to rip through me.
"No, they couldn't have…"I sobbed. "Why-" I gasped. "How are we gonna tell Tony?"
Sam wrapped an arm around me. "You'll figure it out."
"No," Steve replied. "We're not gonna tell him."
"Why not? Howard may have been your friend, but he and Maria were Tony's parents, Steve," I argued. "You do not get to make that call."
"We don't even know all the facts, Angie. How do we know that they weren't bluffing?"
"Then, Tony can help us figure that out."
"No, not until we know more." He frowned. "I don't want him to get worked up over nothing."
"Fine," I grumbled. "But if he finds out, I won't lie to him."
~:~
My phone buzzed.
McGee's, 12:00. We need to talk.-Sam
I sighed. It had been almost a week since I told them the truth. I hadn't heard from either of them. I didn't know what hurt worse: telling them or the hurt on their faces as they left.
After quickly getting ready, I drove over to the cafe. When I looked around and never saw him, I looked down at my watch. 11:58...We have time…
11: 58 turned to 12, and 12 to 12:30.
As I held my head in my hands, I felt a tap on my shoulder. The waitress handed me a note, along with my usual.
"That young man told me to give this to you when you got here," she said. "I meant to give this to you earlier, but we got a little busy."
I gave her a quick thank you and ripped open the note as she walked off.
-Dear Angie, I know you're probably ticked off and it seems like I ditched you. I'm just a coward who can't say this to your face.
I forgive you, even if you didn't ask to be forgiven, but I need time to process all of this. Don't come looking for me, you probably won't find me. Steve asked me to help him look for Barnes. Just give me time.
I'm sorry I'm not man enough to say this to your face. But I guess I've had too much to deal with in the past month, than the two tours I served.
I hope you find some peace of mind,
Sam.
I looked at the bottom of the paper and noticed something he tried to erase, but I knew what it said. I pulled out my phone and sent him the words he tried to hide.
Stay safe, and I love you, too.
~:~