Ouhkaaay, people. A new chapter is here and Mizu's at it again! Please bear with her a little bit longer, she's not dumb, she's just super insecure! Happy holidays!

I am really trying to post these things regularly, but I can't make any promises so.. enjoy it while it lasts?

Anyway, I was giddy the entire week because of the response I got for the last chapter – you are all amazing and awesome!

XXSakuraBlossomsXx: that's right, Kakashi has a great support system :'D thanks for reviewing again and not giving up on me in spite of commonly occurring hiatuses!

She's a Pistol: Thank you for giving this fic a chance! I'm glad you liked it and I'm glad I found out which parts you liked specifically :)

akagami hime chan: omg, thanks for commenting on practically every chapter, it felt like I finally managed to convince a friend to watch an anime I like and got to see all their reactions to all my favourite scenes? I loved it? I love that you understood Mizu so well you were able to assume how she would act 'behind the scenes'? anyway, sorry if I came off too passionately and thanks for the reviews!

ChuChewy: thanks for being willing to deprive yourself of sleep for this fic, but please take care of your health first and foremost! (who am I kidding, I binge-watched Jujutsu Kaisen till 6AM last night, but do as I say, not as I do haha) Also thanks for sticking with this fic despite its frantic update schedule :)))

OneOfYourGuests2: tbh, OneOfYourGuests2, you're scaring me? Are you the website admin? how did you get the 2 to stay after your name? I thought 'OneOfYourGuests' is the default name of guests when they want to leave a review? can you choose your name when you review as a guest? tell me your secrets! Q.Q sorry for the freak out, I'm just confused! Thank you for looking forward to the chapters ))))))))

Ai's-Summer: Thanks for reviewing! Has anyone ever told you you give off a polite-Victorian-scion vibe? You very much do! And I do mean that in the best possible sense :) I'm happy you like the story and the way I depict the characters! Sorry for the lack of Sasuke, I don't know how to approach his character at all so I generally avoid mentioning him hehe, it's for the best. In my mind I know he's just a victim of the system, but in my heart I really wish he would appreciate Naruto and Sakura more since they're so precious!

To Catch a Stalker

Naruto and I were still trying to contain our laughter when we walked into Sakura. She was wearing a yukata like I was, and carrying a towel in one hand, and in the other Konoha's certified shampoo and body wash blend – the Blendeene Pro. Specially created for the shinobi trying to blend in when travelling through or living in the Land of Fire, it was actually the stuff regularly found in and stolen from (by me) Kakashi's bathroom that gave him that signature pine forest smell. After sharing the discovery with Sakura we agreed that the shrewd thing to do is to allow Kakashi to unknowingly supply us with it as a reimbursement for all the times he has skipped out on a bill. Unfortunately, Kakashi caught on surprisingly quickly for someone who only just started to find out my showering habits, and somehow calculated (? who even does that?) that I couldn't be spending so much of it on my own. He was okay with it, but nonetheless it was weird that he had noticed.

"Naruto-kun, why are you walking around in your underwear?"

"Hah, he made you say 'under where'," I grinned, earning an eye-roll.

Sakura was even less impressed with Naruto's explanation than I had been.

"Neechan, you do know people will get a wrong idea if they see you two walking together like this."

I triumphantly scoffed. "You say that like it hasn't already happened."

Sakura raised her eyes towards the sky, and it was obvious that she was praying for strength. As the one most dedicated to preserving our reputation, she disliked it when I would team up with Naruto. It usually resulted in domestic and international incidents.

I patted her arm reassuringly: "Don't worry, I don't give off a cougar vibe."

"I don't think that's enough of a reason to stop worrying when it comes to you. Where are you headed anyway?"

"We're off to find Kakashi-sensei. Mizu-chan doesn't believe me he's bathing with a towel on his face-dattebayo! And I told her we already went with Kakashi-sensei to the hot springs several times and that one time when we tried to see what's under his mask…" I tuned out Naruto to assess how much of the story Sakura believed. Not much, as it turned out.

She was listening to Naruto talk while fixating me with her gaze. She had a scowl that reminded me of our mother and her arms were crossed decidedly over her chest.

"May I approach the bench, your Honour?" I winked at her mischievously.

"What bench– You know what, I don't want to know, come over here!" She pulled me further away from Naruto who was surprisingly understanding about it.

"What are you scheming?"

"Well, I wouldn't say I am 'scheming' per se, it's just that, fortunately for my eyes and imagination, your sensei is a man who highly values camaraderie which means there is an opportunity for me to admire a well-defined, muscular, agile, lean, one even might say slender, and tall, very tall and imposing but in a good way, man in his full handsome glory, you know, just naturally occurring in his habitat, maybe bathing, you know, wow, such a precious and intimate moment, maybe even–"

"Stoooop, I've heard enough. Kami, you would think you're the hormonal teenager here," Sakura whined but, convinced I wasn't set out to create chaos, she regained her good humour and playfully rolled her eyes at me.

"You'll understand when you reach your sexual prime, sis. It only gets worse. Something to look forward to," I patted her back consolingly and put on my sunglasses for added dramatic effect.

"I don't get it, don't you see Kakashi-sensei naked all the time? I mean – you do live together, and he is a closet pervert."

I had to hand it to her – she rather quickly shocked me into taking the sunglasses off. "What? I don't live with Kakashi. Where did you get that idea?"

Sakura blinked at me, confused. I responded with some confused blinking of my own.

"Um, where to start – you sleep there? You eat there? Your clothes are there? You give away his body wash?"

"Um, correction: I have frequent sleepovers there because it's a part of my job, and I never saw you refuse a meal Kakashi's talented hands have made, and you know how lazy I am – I'm not going to go all the way to my place to take a shower. That would be inefficient energy-wise. Also I thought we agreed we're taking his body wash to graciously provide him with a chance to pay us back for all the bills he left us with," I shrugged.

Sakura's blank stare was somewhat worrying.

"Anyways, no – I have never seen Kakashi naked. Disappointingly enough, he has never forgot his towel, not even once. And, before you start asking, yes, I have tried to hide them."

"There's no way I would have ever asked that! But, wait, I'm still processing the last thing. So according to you ,what would constitute 'living somewhere' exactly?"

Oh, Sakura, you're so young, so naive. "Paying the utilities, of course."

She seemed flabbergasted at that, so I decided to soften the blow a bit.

"I mean, that would be the first thing. But also having your pictures on the wall, having a say when it comes to decorations, owning at least half of closet space…"

What is she even confused about? There's no way anyone actually thinks Kakashi and I live together. And even if they did, imagine if Kakashi found out about that. With his abandonment issues I would be kicked to the curb as fast as you can throw a shuriken.

Although, now that I think about it, I am the one buying the food and paying for the stuff when we go out, but that's only because I feel rather guilty for not paying any of the utilities. And he does have some of my pictures on the wall, but there are also many other people up there, which is an improvement compared to what I remember from the anime. And, okay, he did allow me to choose the colours of the walls when he was repainting, but only because saying he did anything to help me do it would be way too generous. And I couldn't just abandon my plants, they would've died from loneliness. And, sure, he gave up a lot of closet space for me, but only because he owns, like, four jonin uniforms and that's it. I'm sure I left some of my stuff back at my place...

"Hm. That actually makes sense. Oh, Naruto-kun is getting impatient, we better get going."

We started walking towards the bath, but I was feeling uneasy. Could I be actually living with Kakashi? Does he think we live together? Maybe I should ask him? 'Hey, Kakashi, this might be an unusual question, but have I maybe moved to your place indefinitely?'

I shook my head in an attempt to chase the thoughts away. This isn't the time to reflect on my current living situation. This is the time to enjoy the exposed heavenly body of the source of all my angst.

And there he was, the glorious bastard.

I watched, breathless, as Kakashi sat soaking in the hot water, his skin slightly flushed from the heat. His arms were lightly pressed to his sides, making him seem not completely at ease to an untrained eye. His eyes were closed and his head was tilted backwards, using a rock as support. His neck was fully exposed and to shinobi that was a sign of either extreme stupidity or extreme confidence. Either way, it was excruciatingly erotic.

Kami, was he hypnotising. My mouth went increasingly dry at the mere sight of him.

Having sensed us, he opened one eye and looked our way. As soon as our eyes met, I was overwhelmed with the intensity of the effect he had on me. The sensation didn't feel so much as butterflies happily floating in my stomach as it felt like a pool of heat pressing down on my lower abdomen. Recognising the sensation for what it was I decided I had to snap out of it. Get it together, Mizu!

Thankfully, Naruto's merciless voice broke the spell a second later.

"Hahahahaha, see, Mizu-chan? I told you he wears masks even when he bathes! Isn't it hilarious?"

"Haha, it sure is. Excuse me for a minute. Sakura-chan, would you mind joining me for some fresh air?"

"Not at all, lead the way."

We walked out of the earshot of our teammates, and then turned towards each other in joint panic.

"Did you see that?"

"I mean, did you?"

"I could see his entire neck, he wasn't hiding it at all!"

"The porcelain skin, the alabaster hair...wait, what do you mean his neck? Sasuke's neck was exposed?"

I gave her a deadpan look. "Do I look like I someone who could get existed over a scrawny neck like that? Cut me some slack, sis."

"What do you mean 'scrawny'? His neck is as well-defined as the rest of his body!"

I pshawed at her. "Well-defined for a pubescent boy, maybe."

"He's 18!"

"Okay, truce! We'll take turns. You go first."

"I'm kind of also attracted to Sai-kun!" she revealed, sounding desperate.

Wow, this was a huge confession for Sakura. Admitting there's someone else beside Sasuke that could be considered attractive...woah.

Well, not to downplay each person's unique qualities, but – black hair, pale skin, quiet and reserved, emotionally underdeveloped, a name that starts with 'S', tough to get along with, a brother-like figure that was a strong influence on his development, bold fashion choices, unusual hairdos? Am I referring to Sai or Sasuke? Who knows? I could go on.

But no way in H am I going to point this out to Sakura when she's convinced she's broadening her horizons.

"Okay, why did you say 'kind of also'? Don't you know?"

Sakura uneasily scratched the back of her head. "Well, I think I realised it just now when I saw him next to Sasuke-kun in the bath and couldn't decide where to look."

I love it how Tenzo wasn't even on her radar. I myself at least gave him a look of acknowledgement before completely laser-focusing on Kakashi's divine silhouette.

"That's completely normal. After all, you are a hormonal teenager, so it's actually weird you were so solely focused on Sasuke-kun up until now if you ask me."

"Really? So it's not unusual if I think… other shinobi are attractive as well?"

"Honey, it's unusual if you think people who spend all their Kami-given time training and honing their bodies to be the perfect weapon aren't attractive. It's kind of in the job description. Now, not every ninja would be considered beautiful or easy to live with, and that's how you weed out who to go for."

"Is that how you chose Kakashi-sensei?"

This girl is going to kill me. "Listen, my pining for your sensei is truly another level pining. It's like incomparable to a crush. It's like if a crush was infinity squared. I didn't so much 'choose' him as I was going about my day innocently, and then he appeared all drop-dead gorgeous and what not and looked at me like I was the scum of the earth, have I ever told you the story? No? Well, he did, that was back when he had...well, a lot going on. And, of course, I avoided him for the longest time, and I was doing a fairly good job at it, since Kakashi is a difficult person to not be hyper-aware of, especially when you are a talented sensor like I am. And then one day when I was changing direction as per usual in order to avoid running into him, he hid his presence and deliberately jumped in front of me. Of course, parental advisory, never ever do that to a trained assassin. He was lucky I was practically chakra-depleted or that punch would have made some serious damage. So, in order to compensate for not being able to bodily injure him, I just chewed his ear off for an hour and a half until I finally remembered I was late for a report to Ibiki-san, and then my adrenaline really kicked in. (You would understand if you were ever late to meet Ibiki-san, that guy perfected the art of giving the heebie-jeebies.) So, naturally, I panicked and started hyperventilating, and then Kakashi of all people managed to calm me down and even went with me to meet Ibiki-san! I didn't allow him to take the blame since I was yelling at him of my own volition, and it was my fault I was late, but it was nice to have some moral support. But, also, I fell for him instantly. Now, that I think about it, that might have been the adrenaline back then, but it settled down into a one-sided romance eventually."

"Wow, that's some story. Did you become close after that?"

"Well, actually, I continued to avoid him, since our encounters weren't exactly what you would call 'beneficial' for my shinobi career. But I wanted to give him an eggplant from our garden as a 'thank you' and he caught me mid-dropping the vegetable on his doorstep. And, after several similar fated meetings it snowballed into a friendship?"

"Yeah, but an eggplant? Does Kakashi-sensei even like eggplants?"

"Pfft, yeah, he absolutely adores them."

I inwardly gulped, hoping Sakura won't pick up on the way I obviously overcompensated Kakashi's feelings towards the vegetable. I don't think I'll ever tell her (or anyone, really) I just wanted to send Kakashi an eggplant emoji for giggles and that was the next best thing I could come up with. But in my defence, his favourite food is miso soup with eggplant so it was a perfect cover.

"Okay, but the point of this entire story, although it might not seem like that's the case, is that I was able to distantly appreciate Kakashi's incredible physique without getting overly invested. And it wasn't until later that I developed feelings for him. And although it is truly admirable how you manage to overlook Sasuke-kun's flaws and behaviour because deep deep deep deep–"

"I get it."

"–deep deep way deep down he is a good person, I think you can do a lot better than him. Like, insanely better. Seriously, I'm not just saying this – there are way better options out there and you haven't considered any of them. Of course, since you're such an amazing person, they also don't deserve you, but at least some of them will be close."

Sakura smiled at me, and I could see she was a little embarrassed so I hugged her to give her some time to compose herself. I truly hoped he'll manage to find her confidence soon. Although I wasn't terribly worried about her – I knew she had what it takes to step out from Naruto's and Sasuke's shadows.

"Hey, sis."

"Hm?"

"I love you."

She hugged me tighter. "I love you too."

"Oh, you do? Name three of my albums."

I expected the uppercut, but I was at least hoping she'll hold back a little. Still, it was totally worth it.

We were walking back towards the inn when we saw Yamato and Kakashi in the distance. They noticed us too so they waited for us to catch up. Thankfully, they were fully clad in yukatas with Kakashi wearing his usual mask.

"So would Yamato-senpai be one of those guys that might deserve me?"

"Well, he is a good guy, but if you're anything like me you need someone to make your blood boil from time to time, and I don't see Yamato-san being capable of that. He's more likely to just… roll over. But you know, if you ever want to try out some hardcore BDS–"

"No need for more details, thank you."

I grinned cheekily. I managed to hold a relaxed expression even after I took note of a shadow in the nearby trees. If anyone else noticed the foreign presence, they also expertly avoided to show it, but either way, it was clear we were dealing with an amateur. I sensed the poorly concealed chakra signature getting further away, probably spooked by our increase in numbers. I decided not to mention anything just in case the person was a decoy.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot that I practically ran away in panic upon catching a glimpse of Kakashi's exposed skin. What a fun thing to remember all of a sudden.

Kakashi and Yamato let us pass them and we lead the way.

"Did you guys have a nice soak?" Sakura asked conversationally.

Yamato was equally eager not to let the silence continue. "We certainly did. The water was perfect. You should try it out yourself."

Oh! A chance to demonstrate. "Yamato-san, are you suggesting my little sister should get naked in front of you? That's a bit bold to say to a minor, don't you think?"

I held in my laughter as Yamato started flailing for excuses. Sakura knowingly raised an eyebrow at me.

"And yet, I recall a certain someone shamelessly ogling minors not that long before."

My head snapped back towards Kakashi in disbelief. "I most certainly did not! If anything I was ogling y–," oh crap. Kakashi's eye crinkle seemed triumphant. I quickly adjusted the finger I was poking Kakashi with to illustrate a point and directed it towards Yamato, "–amato-san. Yeah, I was shamelessly ogling Yamato-san's..." jeez, even to my ears I sounded insincere, "...Yamato-san's amazing... ," Kami, why is my mind blank, he must have some redeeming physical qualities, he's a ninja!

"..neck?" Sakura helpfully suggested.

"Yeah! Yamato's amazing… neck…" I glanced at the neck in question and it was as unimpressive to me as I remember.

"Right. And what does one find amazing about another's neck?"

At least I didn't have to lie to answer this question. "What are you talking about, my generation unanimously agreed exposed necks are sexual. We voted and everything. Where were you? Oh, right – you're older than me." I grinned, finding an opening. "Besides, I recall a certain someone bathing with the aforementioned minors, don't you?"

"Well, you can't exactly avoid them, can you? However, you can not ogle them, which I definitely did. If I'm not mistaken, I was relaxing with my neck fully exposed–"

"Well, I don't remember what you did, I was busy shamelessly ogling Yamato-san, as we've already established, so you might as well have been doing whatever, I guess we'll never know," I decided to retreat before I get any redder and Kakashi somehow makes it seem I was reverse psychology-ing Sakura into getting naked in front of Yamato instead. "Anyway, shall we hurry up Sakura-chan? There's a private bath that I know for a fact is closet-pervert-free at the moment."

Not waiting for an answer I shunshin-ed the two of us near the inn. Sakura was blatantly laughing next to me.

"I see now what you mean by wanting someone to make your blood boil. I've never seen you escape so obviously."

"I didn't escape, I strategically retreated due to unfavourable circumstances. Now, move – I was serious about the bath."

I took her by the hand, and started pulling her towards Kakashi's room. Suddenly, I felt it again – the same chakra signature. Well, so much for the bath being pervert-free.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a smaller crowd heading in the same direction as us. The chakra signature was obviously coming from there. And I know just a thing to reveal their identity – yawning.

Yawning is contagious, right? So all I had to do was yawn convincingly and the person following us will yawn back.

I stopped and stretched covertly positioning myself to have a clear view of the group, and yawned. "Oh, sorry, Sakura-chan, I guess I'm more tired than I thought."

I heard an audible yawn and turned. Kakashi was walking towards us with Yamato trailing behind him. Gosh, this guy! Of all the times to fall for my ploys!

He approached us like we (or rather I) haven't been yelling at each other (him) just a few minutes ago, leaning against me with both his hands over my shoulders like he was fishing for a piggyback ride. "Miiiiiizu, let's go bathe together."

I wanted to cry from embarrassment. All the people in the room were witnessing the great Hokage beg his 'wife' for a joint bath. I know he was doing it for a show because he was also aware we were being followed but this was ridiculous.

Oh, dang, was there someone watching us even back then? Was the neck exposure baiting them on purpose? Did Kakashi think someone was targeting him?

"Let's all go take a bath together!" I exclaimed and hurriedly pulled Kakashi and Sakura down the hallway hoping Yamato will follow. I could hear a few tsks and laments about 'the Hokage's heartless wife' but I chose to ignore them for now.

Once we were all inside I tried to sense traces of foreign chakra, but couldn't find any. I signed 'Safe?' and once Kakashi nodded I relaxed a bit.

"Okay, so we know someone is following us, but we don't know why. They seem to be chunin according to their chakra levels, but we should proceed with caution just in case. Kakashi, you sensed them at the bath?"

"Vaguely. I think they were following you and Sakura."

"Yeah, I guessed as much. Do you think it's some kind of a voyeur?"

"Most likely."

"Let's not relax just yet. What's the plan?"

"For now, let's go with baiting them without seeming too obvious."

"Kakashi, I swear to all that is holy, if you suggest skinny dipping in the dark, I'll assassinate you myself."

He gave me an amused smile. "That's not a bad idea, but let's try and come up with something less risqué ."

I jokingly rolled my eyes at him. "Okay, Sakura-chan, want to go for a covert rendezvous with a mysterious admirer? We promise not to steal your thunder if it turns out to be a sexual deviant you can handle."

"Fine by me," she smiled while cracking her knuckles.

We waited for the night to fall, and then headed outside quietly. Kakashi, Yamato, and I found separate strategic vantage points for ourselves with a clear view of where Sakura was seemingly anxiously waiting with a letter in her hand. It didn't take long before I sensed the familiar chakra signature approaching.

"Yo."

"Kakashi, what are you doing, go back to your spot, this one's mine."

"That's okay, Sakura-chan can handle these guys."

He pointed at the three men standing in weird poses in front of Sakura with the leader clearly monologuing. "...I, the leader of the Moya Triad, have noticed you, fair maiden, and I fell instantly in love! Firstly fuelled by revenge for a long-past wrong, I have decided to forgive your prior misgivings as you were merely a babe back then! You probably remember our encounter vividly…"

I wanted to laugh as I remembered the 'villains' from that one Naruto episode when the Team was trying to reveal what is under Kakashi's mask. It was creepy that they discarded their revenge to romantically pursue a person who was a minor and at least 15 years their junior, but it will be hilarious (and violent, I assume) once Sakura's had enough of their talking.

"Who are you guys again?" Sakura yawned.

"That's my girl," Kakashi and I whispered in unison.

"Jinx, you owe me Pocky!" nice reaction time, Mizu. I kissed my shoulder to congratulate myself on my quick reflexes.

Kakashi smiled, seeming more dreamy that usual. "Funny you should say that since I accidentally bought some for you last week and hid it somewhere in the house."

"Hid it? Kakashi. Babe. We talked about this – stop hoarding candy to spite me!"

"I'm not hoarding it, I'm keeping it safe so you won't eat everything all at once."

Ugh, he knows me to well. "Fine, where did you hide it?"

He ruffled my hair, and pressed our foreheads together. "I guess you'll have to wait for us to arrive home to find out."

Woah, that sounded a bit like we're returning to 'our' home. His and mine, that is.

...Nah, no way.