The sky was still dark as they loaded their bags and supplies in the trunk of Meryl's car and swung by to pick up Millie. Dawn was just beginning to break when they rolled past the last few building on the edge of the city. They were heading east of Octovern. Knives went through the list of places he knew of that Vash had a connection to in this direction and one glaringly obvious one became lodged in his brain. It was the place he least wanted to visit on this entire planet. He held his tongue, hoping he was wrong. But as they day wore on it became increasingly clear that they were headed right for it.
"The floating ship," he said under his breath.
Kira, who'd been staring out the window, gave him a confused look. "Did you say something?"
"Are we going to the Melca Border ship?" he asked, speaking more clearly and directing his question to the raven-haired driver.
Meryl glanced at him in the rearview mirror and sighed in vexation. "Yes, that's where we're going. Vash should still be there."
"Does he know I'm coming?"
"No. I spoke to Luida and told her that Millie and I would be bringing two crewmembers to do a follow-up segment on Vash. I asked her to detain him if necessary."
"Fantastic," he muttered sarcastically to himself. Vash had spent decades among the people there and Knives had a few run-ins with them as well. Of all the humans on the planet, the ones on the floating ship would be the most likely to recognize him. He'd have to be very, very cautious.
x.x.x.x.x
The suns had almost reached the horizon when the car pulled to a halt next to a decrepit looking building with thick wires extending from it into the clouds. The four passengers grabbed their bags and boarded the small aerial lift inside. Meryl type a code into the console and the lift began moving slowly up the cable.
Kira gasped as the ground dropped away. It felt as though they were floating through the clouds. After several minutes the dense layer of fog opened up to reveal an enormous ship hovering in the sky. She grinned so widely her cheeks began to hurt. "Amazing!"
"I felt the same way the first time I saw it," Meryl said with a smile.
"I still feel like that," said Millie, beaming.
Kira turned to Knives but he was sitting against the wall, his clasped hands resting on his knees, his face hidden by the brim of his hat. She settled down beside him with a small grunt. "How are you doing?" she asked lightly, peering under the hat.
He raised his head very slightly and Kira was surprised by the almost panicked look on his face. "May I speak with you?" he asked, his voice unusually diffident.
She furrowed her brows at the oddness of the situation. "Yeah. Of course…"
"I mean… privately," he explained with a quick glance at the other two women.
Right. Well… at least he asked first. "Go ahead." She felt the familiar prickle but he remained silent. What is it?
What if… what if he won't forgive me?
A wave of sympathy rolled through her. Don't worry. He will.
But what if he doesn't want to see me? Or asks me to leave?
From what you've told me, I don't think that'll happen, but if it does, then we'll figure it out.
'We'll?' He looked over, his expression softening to something between relieved and hopeful. Does that mean you would stay with me?
She was tempted to pull him into a comforting hug but instead gave him a lightly teasing smirk. Let's just see how it goes before we start worrying over nothing…
His face fell slightly. I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't want me around. I hadn't really thought about it until now. But it's a possibility… What if he wants me to turn myself in?
He won't. I'm sure Vash will be very happy to see you again. She nudged her shoulder against his encouragingly. Just relax. It's going to be fine. And… I promise I won't abandon you—no matter what happens. Okay? I'll stay with you if you need me to.
Why are… He let out a slow breath. Why are you so kind to me? He caught her in a pensive gaze that set her heart pounding. Do you still hate me?
She quickly pushed him from her mind. That was not a conversation she was ready to have, especially while he could read her. She gave him a small shrug and an apologetic half-smile.
He nodded faintly, as if understanding that he'd overstepped, a mixture of regret and contrition on his face.
x.x.x.x.x
As the aerial lift pulled into a hangar on the ship, several people walked out onto the platform to receive them. "Let me do the talking," Meryl said quietly.
They walked out of the lift and a slender woman with tightly cropped black hair greeted them. "Meryl, Millie, I'm so happy to see you both again." She embraced each of the women and turned to Knives and Kira.
"These are our assistants, Kira and Alex," Meryl said, introducing them.
The woman extended her hand. "I'm pleased to meet you both. You may call me Luida. I'd like to welcome you to our beautiful city." Kira shook her hand and Knives followed, grasping it for a brief moment and trying to keep his head down. "If you'd please follow me, I'll show you to your rooms."
"Does Vash know we're here?" Meryl asked as they began walking.
Luida let out a throaty laugh. "No. I thought it would be more fun for you to surprise him. Once you're settled I'll take you to him."
x.x.x.x.x
After traversing through a seemingly endless labyrinth of hallways that made up the ship, they were brought to a pair of rooms. Meryl and Millie disappeared into one and Knives and Kira went into the other to drop off their bags. Knives' heart was beating frantically. His fear was now augmented by hopeful anticipation, and the clamoring emotions formed a jumbled knot in his chest. Vash was here. The journey was finally over. He was going to see his brother again. He took a deep breath and exhaled shakily, trying to calm himself.
"You okay?" Kira asked gently, walking over to him.
"I'm fine. I'm just ready to see him."
She nodded and turned to the door.
"Kira, wait." He grabbed her wrist and held it loosely. "I just… I want to say thank you—for everything. I couldn't have done this without you, and… I…" He trailed off, realizing that he'd never be able to properly express the depth of his gratitude.
She smiled warmly, her cheeks pink. "Come on. It's time."
x.x.x.x.x
Luida, Meryl and Millie were already waiting in the hallway. "This way," the androgynous woman said, gesturing them to follow her. "I told him I needed to speak with him about a private matter. He should be waiting in his quarters." She led them down a series of hallways before stopping at an unexceptional looking door. Knives' heart was in his throat. "I'll leave you here. I'm sure you'd rather catch up without an audience," she said with a wry grin.
"Thanks. That would be great," Meryl said smoothly. Luida nodded and walked back down the hall. Once she was out of sight, Meryl pressed a buzzer on the wall. The door slid open and a moment later an enthusiastic holler resounded. Vash reached out and pulled the small woman into a crushing hug.
"Insurance girls!" he sang out excitedly. "I can't believe you're here! I didn't think I'd get to see you again so soon!" After a moment he released Meryl and turned to Millie, shaking her from side to side in an energetic hug before Meryl whacked him in the back of the head.
"You nitwit! Number one—we're not insurance girls anymore, as you know perfectly well. And number two—we need to speak with you. Right now. Go inside."
"Ow. Fiiiine," he whimpered rubbing his head gingerly. He glanced over at Kira and Knives and froze.
Knives let out a trembling breath. "Yo. Vash."
"You… you can't be…?"
Meryl growled in exasperation. "Inside! Now!" She shoved him through the door and the others followed, closing it behind them.
Vash had gone white. "What is this?"
Knives stepped forward. "It's me, Vash." He spoke as calmly as he could but his voice was shaking.
"But, you can't be here… You died! I felt you die!" Tears were streaming down the aqua-eyed plant's face.
"I… I'm sorry." Knives pulled off the hat and sunglasses and held them awkwardly at his side. "I shouldn't have left like that. I was… a coward. I couldn't bear to face you." Even now he was too ashamed to look his brother in the eye as he spoke. He felt tears welling up and he did what he could to hold them back. "I'm so sorry Vash. I screwed up. I screwed up so much—for everyone. And you…" He covered his eyes and took a shuddering breath as a tear rolled down his cheek, soon followed by another. "The things I put you through… I was wrong. I was so wrong! And I thought it would be better if I was just gone from this world." Suddenly he felt a pair of arms around him and a small amount of relief swept through him.
"You fucking idiot," Vash choked out. "Don't ever do anything that stupid again."
He let out a weak laugh. "I won't. I promise."
Vash took a step back wiping his eyes. "I still don't understand. What happened to you?"
"I used the last of my energy," Knives answered, wiping his eyes as well, slightly embarrassed by the emotional display.
"Making that tree…?"
"Yes. I thought it would kill me. And it did. But it didn't. I'm not sure exactly what happened but I heard our sisters. They told me to open my eyes, and when I did, I woke up in a bulb in Delnashville."
"Delnashville?"
"Yes. That was maybe six weeks ago? I've been trying to get to you since then."
"But Delnashville is done for! They don't even send water up there. How'd you manage to survive?"
"I almost didn't. Kira found me." Knives looked back and his gray-eyed companion saluted clumsily at Vash. "She saved my life. She brought me here."
Vash walked to Kira, grabbing her in a tight embrace. "Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me."
"Ooookay, ease up or you'll smother her with your gratitude," Meryl said, patting his shoulder lightly.
Vash pulled back, more tears streaming down his face. "Sorry. I just can't believe this is happening."
"I know," the short woman said, surprisingly softly, placing her hand on his back.
Vash wiped his face again and smiled. "What the hell am I doing? Sit down! Relax! This is officially a celebration!"
x.x.x.x.x
They made themselves comfortable around the coffee table in Vash's living room. Knives and Kira shared one of the two couches, with Meryl sitting alone across from them and Millie lounging in one of the chairs on each end. Knives was surprised by how spacious the living quarters were. This must have been a captain's suite at one point. At least the people on the ship knew how to properly honor their 'hero.' Vash ran to the kitchen and grabbed several bottles of liquor, setting them down with a clink, and then went back for some empty glasses. He placed them in front of his guests and took a seat beside Meryl.
"Alright, who's drinking what?"
"Wait," Knives cut in. "There's still more we need to discuss."
"Not tonight. For now, let's just be happy. We're finally together again and I want to enjoy it for at least one day." Knives nodded in acceptance and Vash grinned widely. "Soooo, whiskey?" He poured the equivalent of a shot and handed it to his brother.
Knives eyed it warily. "I don't drink very often."
"I know," Millie said cheerfully, "let's play a game! That always makes it more fun."
"Oh! Never Have I Ever!" Meryl chimed in.
"Perfect!" Vash laughed.
Even Kira looked a little excited to play.
"How does this game work?" Knives asked, suspecting he was the only one who didn't know.
"Well, all you have to do is say 'Never have I ever,' and then say something you've never done," Millie explained in an sunny tone. "Then, if someone else has done it, they have to drink. Like this: Never have I ever been a boy. And now both of you have to drink."
Knives gave the tall woman a skeptical look but knocked back the shot, coughing and grimacing as it burned down his throat. Vash barked out a laugh at his brother's discomfort and took his own shot as if it were water. "I'll grab some beers. We'd all die if we only drank shots during this game." Vash ran to the kitchen and returned with a round for everyone, sitting back down merrily.
"Okay," Meryl began, "never have I ever been a twin."
"If Knives has been dead for a year, are we still technically twins," Vash said before taking a large swig. "Oh! Am I technically the 'older' one now?" he said, his eyes shining eagerly.
"You're certainly still the immature one," muttered Knives.
"You sure you wanna make enemies this early in the game," Vash teased. "Never have I ever…" He tapped his chin and then smiled evilly at his brother. "Never have I ever gotten stuck up in a tree."
Knives blushed and took a drink.
"What?" Kira let out a sharp laugh.
"We were young—probably the equivalent of a five-year-old. I climbed up but… climbing back down seemed so much harder."
"He was so damn cocky going up that thing," Vash said, his eyes crinkled. "Climbed all the way to the top, took one look down and started bawling. Rem had to climb up to get him." Millie giggled and Meryl just shook her head in disbelief. "Okay, Kira, you're up."
"Hm… Never have I ever had my face on a wanted poster."
"Aw, boo." Vash took a swig.
Knives followed suit. "Will I have to drink on every round of this game?"
"Well not this one," Kira said with a smirk. "It's your turn."
"Okay…" He paused for a moment, trying to think of one for the girls. "Never have I ever purchased a bra," he said, feeling a little foolish for his lack of inspiration.
Everyone else drank and Meryl punched Vash in the shoulder. "Who the heck did you buy a bra for?"
He pouted. "Well the shopkeeper was really cute and I thought it'd give me an excuse to talk to her…"
"Ugh. You pig." She scowled, angling her gaze away from him.
"Uh… never have I ever been out in space," Millie said uneasily, clearly trying to move things along.
Both men drank and Vash gave the angry reporter an apologetic look. "Meryl…"
She bristled and turned sharply, her eyes blazing. "Never have I ever been a criminally-flirtatious sex-crazed inhuman gunman with an inability to settled the fuck down."
Vash took a drink. "C'mon… you know it's not really like that. It's just… complicated." The raven-haired woman simply ignored him.
"Never have I ever been an amazing insurance girl and an amazing reporter and the smartest, bravest, and best friend a guy could ask for," he offered, putting on his most placating expression.
Meryl took a small sip and her expression softened. "You're a goofball." She punched him again, lightly.
After several more rounds, Millie insisted they do more shots. Knives was already starting to feel the effects but accepted the shot that was handed to him and tipped it back.
"Um, never have I ever ridden on a sandsteamer," said Kira.
"What? Never?" asked Knives as he took another swig of beer. "Hm… I guess, never have I ever ridden a toma."
"Aw," said Millie taking a sip, "but they're so sweet. Never have I ever… been a plant."
Both men groaned and drank.
Meryl grinned. "We ladies are doing pretty well tonight. Never have I ever used telepathy on someone."
"To be fair, I barely have," complained Vash.
"Oh, whatever," scoffed Knives. "We used to talk that way all the time when we were little."
"Well, if it's guys against girls—never have I ever been human."
After the women had taken a drink, Vash poured a third round of shots. After a quick clinking of glasses they tossed them back. The game soon fell apart into general conversation. Knives was grateful—he didn't think he could keep up that pace much longer. Vash, Meryl and Millie went back and forth, telling stories from when they travelled together. He had to admit, some of the situations they'd gotten into were rather amusing. He found himself laughing out loud more than once.
His head began swimming and he leaned back heavily into the couch cushions. He hadn't been this drunk in a very long time… He noticed that Kira also looked rather askew beside him. She met his eyes and grinned weakly before turning back to the others. "I think I might need a break. I'm feeling a little… drunk," she said with a giggle.
"You can lie down in my room if you need to," Vash offered.
"That would be amazing." She wobbled as she stood and Knives jumped up to steady her. "Uh, thanks," she said awkwardly. He followed her into the room where she stretched out onto the bed with a sigh. "This already feels better. How the hell can they drink like that?"
He chuckled, dimmed the lights and turned to leave.
"Wait. Stay with me for a bit," she mumbled. She patted the mattress and grinned, gesturing him over.
He conceded. He wasn't exactly eager to hurry back to the party anyway. He lay beside her, his arms crossed over his stomach, careful not to encroach.
"Knives… I just want to say that I'm really happy for you. And I'm so glad everything worked out."
"Thanks." He couldn't help but smirk at her effusive and most likely alcohol-induced enthusiasm. Still, he couldn't deny the warmth he felt at her words. "You know… I always enjoy hearing you say my name. I wished I could've told you… when we were… uh… before. Anyway, it's nice to hear it now."
She laughed. "Knives." She reached over and laid her hand on his. "I like saying your name." She moved closer to him, her face snuggled against his shoulder, her arm draped across his chest. "Is this okay?" she murmured. "I just want to lay like this for a second."
His heart beat loudly. "Yes, it's fine."
After several minutes, he could feel her breathing growing softer and slower as she fell asleep. He rested his hand gently on her arm as he struggled to keep his eyes open. Eventually he gave up and let himself sink into comfortable slumber.
x.x.x.x.x
He awoke some time later. It was dark and Kira was still beside him, sleeping peacefully. They were covered with a light blanket, so Vash must have come in, but he couldn't hear any voices from the other room. He climbed slowly out of bed, careful not to wake Kira and walked into the main living area. Vash was stretched out on one of the couches, snoring lightly.
Knives smiled. He never realized how much he'd missed the sound of Vash's snoring. It took him back to the days when they travelled together across the arid planet. They disagreed about so many things back then… Every time he tried to make a move against the humans, Vash would stand against him, fighting for their right to live. It was a never-ending battle, but, at the same time, they could always count on each other to be there when it was important.
Until they couldn't.
Knives was the one who'd broken that bond. He was the one who'd chosen to leave. He'd mutilated his brother and left him chained to a post. He'd abandoned him—the only person he cared about. The one he was trying to protect. The only one who could possibly understand him. He suddenly noticed that the snoring had gone silent and looked up to find his brother watching him.
"Sorry—you looked lost in thought," Vash said quietly.
"You're awake."
"So are you." He sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Ugh. I think my hangover is starting to kick in."
"Same here."
"Want some water?"
Knives nodded.
Vash walked to the kitchen and returned with a couple of glasses.
"Thanks." Knives took the glass and sat down unsure of what to say.
"So, what really happened when you died?" There was a slight edge to his voice. Of course there was. He had every right to feel… well… any way he wanted. Angry. Sad. Happy. All of the above…
"I… I was there, with the boy. I gave him the tree and I could feel the last of my life force flow out of me and then I was just… floating. It was like I was trapped between life and death. I had no senses, no body, but I was still myself. My mind. I just kept thinking and replaying everything that had happened—all of the pain I'd caused and all of my failures. It felt like I was there for an eternity. At one point I actually thought I'd been sent to some kind of hell. Then, out of nowhere, I could hear our sisters speaking to me. They said they'd found me and told me to open my eyes. That was it."
"So, like, some kind of consciousness transference…"
"I have no idea. It could be anything. Maybe whatever wavelength I existed on needed an available bulb, and since most of them were destroyed, it took me awhile to find it. Or maybe I was in Delnashville the whole time and it just took that long for my body to reform…?" He shook his head. "I don't know. The thing I don't get it how I'm alive at all. I thought once our hair went black, that was it."
"Yeah… Can you use your power at all?"
"Just the telepathy, since it doesn't draw energy like the weapons or the blades. But everything's a little weaker than it used to be. Even my physical abilities are weaker. I always thought they were innate—simply a function of our bodies—but I guess the gate affected them as well. My reflexes are slower. I don't heal quite as fast. If it weren't for the telepathic manipulation I'd be defenseless."
Vash winced. "Manipulation?"
Knives looked up guiltily. "It's when you control people's bodies through their minds. But I've barely even used it. And I didn't hurt anyone. I… I haven't hurt anyone…"
"Still. It's wrong, Knives. You don't have the right to do that—to control people."
"I didn't have a fucking choice! Both Meryl and Kira tried to shoot me when they found out who I was. I couldn't let them kill me without seeing you first. I needed to tell you that I was wrong. Now that that's done, I don't care what happens." He let out a heavy sigh. "If I'm killed, so be it…"
"Again! You're going to do that to me again!" Vash was almost speaking at full volume.
"Keep it down, you'll wake Kira."
"Do you have any idea how painful it was to lose you like that? After everything we'd gone through? It was over. We made it out! We both survived and then you fucking gave up!" He was almost in tears.
"I know! I know. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"You can't do that again. Do you understand?" He ran a hand roughly through his hair. "I just… I don't want you to hurt anyone. But you can't let them hurt you either! You can't die again!"
"I don't want to die. I feel like, for the first time ever, I want live—without trying to accomplish some goal or crusade. I just want to live a normal, quiet life. But… it's impossible. They're going to find me at some point—the Federation or whoever—and I doubt they'll even bother sending me to trial. I'll be executed immediately."
"Look, we can worry about the future when it gets here. For now, let's just focus on laying low. How many people know about you?"
"I think it's just you, your girls and Kira."
"That's good. Still, it's probably best if we get out of here as soon as possible. You're pretty infamous on this ship. It's not worth the risk staying here."
Knives nodded.
"So… it seems like you can trust Kira, even if she tried to shoot you…"
He blushed deeply. "Yes. She was shocked when she learned who I was, but… she's a friend."
"A friend? Not a servant or a follower?"
"A friend, Vash," he answered hotly.
"Not a lover? You looked very comfortable together."
"It was the alcohol."
"Bullshit."
"We're not lovers! Okay?" He exhaled sharply, tapping absently on the glass in his hands. "She grew up in Delnashville," he explained. "I destroyed her life. She hates me."
"No she doesn't," Vash said with laugh. "That much is obvious. Look, I don't know what's going on, but that was an unusual amount of cuddling for two people who are just friends. You sure there isn't anything else between you?"
Knives took a sip of water, pondering whether to answer. He'd been dreading this conversation. And his head was really starting to hurt. "I… I slept with her. Before she knew who I was."
Vash's eyebrows shot up. "Ah. I see."
"I'd never been with a human before…"
"Wait, what? Never? Like, for over a century and never?"
Knives shot him an irritated glare. "No. We'd been travelling for a while and it just sort of happened. And then she found out who I was…" He shook his head in cynical amusement at the dark comedy that was his relationship with Kira. "She pulled a gun on me, so I stopped her and told her everything—about Tessla and the Big Fall and you—and she actually listened. I know a part of her still hates me for what I've done, but at least she understands why I did it. And… I know things can never be like they were, but she's willing to be my friend, so… we're friends." He couldn't help but smile softly. "I can count on her… We may have had a rough start, but I trust her," he said with resolve.
Vash stared blankly. "Wow. That is… complicated. So… you're in love with her."
Knives made a face. "Love? Who said anything about love?"
"You're friends. You share things with her. You trust her. You want to be with her." He shrugged. "Sounds like the beginnings of love to me."
"But… it can't be. I can't be in love with a human…?"
"Honestly, I never thought I'd see the day. This is your first time, right?"
He didn't respond. He wasn't sure what to say.
"… It's painful, you know."
"What do you mean?"
Vash gave him a sad look. "There's a reason I have an 'inability to settle down.' I know Meryl wants that from me and I really wish I could, but… I don't want to waste her time."
Knives frowned. He hadn't realized his brother was so close to the rude little creature. Also… "I don't understand."
"I did let myself fall in love once, not long after you and I parted ways."
Knives' eyes widened in surprise. "I didn't know." He'd kept tabs on Vash throughout the years, but for the first few decades he'd mostly been preoccupied with his own affairs. How could he have missed something so important…?
Vash smiled wistfully. "We were together for eight years, and it was wonderful, but eventually it fell apart. At first, we thought the strength of our love could overcome the differences between us, but as time passed she realized that I wasn't enough for her."
"You weren't."
He sighed heavily. "We were naïve. Neither of us had been in love before. She was only eighteen when we first met—and I looked about that old—but as the years passed, the physical differences between us started to become more and more apparent. It was difficult for her, having to age without me, and it would only get worse the longer we stayed together. On top of that, we couldn't have children. We tried, but… and I know that after we separated she met someone else and they started a family, so I'm pretty sure it just won't work between species. Honestly, I think she broke it off for me too. I don't know how it would have felt if we'd stayed together for sixty years and I had to watch her grow old and die. It's hard enough losing friends that way, but with someone you love so intimately…"
Knives felt a weight on his chest. "I… I hadn't thought about it."
"Why would you? Until it matters…"
"So what do I do?"
"I wish I knew. I really do. For a long time I tried keeping people at a distance, but… that's hard too. And now, with Meryl… I know she thinks we could make it work, but she doesn't realize how quickly life passes and how much things change. The best way for me to love her is by staying away and letting her move on. It's… difficult… trying to decide how close you want to get. But you'll have to make that choice on your own."
x.x.x.x.x
Kira was still sleeping when Knives returned to the bedroom. He lay next to her and she released an unintelligible murmur, nuzzling closer to him.
Dammit… What should he do? If Vash hadn't been able to make it work with a human, how the hell could he hope to? Did he even want this? Well… he wanted her, but he wasn't sure if he could stand losing her slowly like that. And even if he could, there was very little chance she would reciprocate his feelings.
He brushed his fingers gently through her hair.
Vash was right… He loved her. He truly did.
It was ridiculous. How could he let this happen?
Fuck it. It didn't matter. Now was not the time to be worrying about it. He needed to stay focused on the task at hand—getting off the ship and finding somewhere they could hide out for a while. He could deal with the rest of it later. He closed his eyes and sank into the relaxing warmth she provided.