Sunlight beamed through the window as Kira stared listlessly out over the horizon. She was bored. The house was clean, the fridge was stocked, and no errands needed to be run. It had been a little over a week since Knives had awoken, and their situation had stalled. Laying low was surprisingly tedious. She missed having an actual job to get done. If they stayed here much longer, she was half-tempted to look for work.

Chronica was on the sat-phone most days with a handful of associates stationed across the planet. Most of her energy was directed toward gathering and distributing intel from her former commander, who had agreed to run a covert investigation in Octovern. If they could collect proof of Garrow's crimes and verify that he had acted on his own authority, it would be easy to swoop in and arrest him and the scientists under his command.

Unfortunately, Garrow wasn't an idiot. He was keeping things even more locked down than usual. The guard that Chronica had made use of to get into the criminal facility was now missing in action, although whether he'd abandoned his post of his own accord or if the captain had discovered his betrayal and had him 'removed' was anyone's guess. There was no doubt that Garrow would do whatever was necessary to keep the experiments secret. He might even go so far as to tank the entire operation to save his own skin.

Regardless, all they could do for now was to be patient and wait for the information to come in.

With the slow progress, Meryl was growing impatient. She kept silent, as promised, but being forced to sit idly by while an unknown number of people were being used and disposed of was weighing on her. After conferring with the others, she had grudgingly agreed to trust Panse with the knowledge of the experimentation. Despite the fact that he was technically part of the Federation, he had enough integrity and diplomacy to handle the situation with the care that would be required, and his position on the floating ship was ideal. It gave him distance and protection, and, if it came down to a military action, Luida's forces were some of the strongest on the planet.

Aside from that, she and Millie had regular contact with their station manager, who was also growing increasingly impatient on the slow progress of her new 'story.' If they didn't turn something in soon, there would be hell to pay.

Vash had once again taken charge of caring for his brother after the unintentionally flirtatious hair washing, and Kira was grateful. That incident was confusing enough, and Knives had been sending nothing but mixed signals since then. This was simpler, and simpler was better. Knives had begun to develop new techniques to compensate for his lack of sight as well. He was becoming more and more self-reliant each day. He had apologized after his outburst about the Melca Border ship and although the brothers still quarreled frequently, it was clear they were glad to be reunited again. The main point of contention between them was what to do next.

Knives was doing much better physically, and although his sight hadn't improved, his eyes were almost fully healed. It was time to move, but he seemed reluctant to make to a decisive plan. The only thing he stayed firm on was his refusal to return to the Melca Border ship, and since the only other doctors who might have the technology and training to remove his collar were part of the Federation, it seemed increasingly unlikely that it would be coming off anytime soon.

Kira sighed and stepped away from the window. She supposed she should be grateful for the peace and quiet. She doubted the lull wouldn't last for much longer and then they'd be thrown into chaos again. She should try to enjoy it while she could, like the others were doing. Chronica was reclined on the couch, reading, and Meryl and Millie were playing cards at the table. Kira sauntered across the room and peeked into the kitchen where the brothers were softly bickering.

"I told you to dice the ham," Knives said tersely, holding a mixing bowl with one hand and an offending a piece of meat between the fingers of the other.

"I did!" Vash responded with equal irritation.

"No, you chopped it," he said, setting the meat down and returning to whisking the mixture in the bowl.

"Dicing is chopping," Vash retorted.

"Yes, but chopping is not dicing. These pieces are too big."

Vash let out a frustrated groan and Kira couldn't help but smile before clearing her throat, alerting them to her presence.

Knives whirled around, sloshing a little of the egg mixture onto himself, and swore.

"Oh shit—sorry!" she said with a guilty grimace. "I swear I wasn't trying to scare you." She wetted a dishrag and began dabbing his shirt.

"It's fine," he murmured, his eyes staring vaguely in her direction. They'd taken his bandages off the day before and Kira hadn't quite adjusted to the sight of them. From a distance they looked almost normal, but up close, the horizontal scarring across them and the slightly misshapen pupils were a constant reminder of the injury. She finished up and he went back to whisking, turning to Vash who was cutting with mild petulance. "Okay, is the ham diced?"

"Yessir!" Vash said officiously, saluting and winking at Kira.

Knives only scowled. "Does this look light and frothy to you?" he asked, handing the bowl to Vash.

"Uh… yes?"

The blind plant huffed in annoyance. "Spread the ham and the cheese over the bottom of the crust, then pour the eggs over top and put it in the oven," he said, looking beleaguered.

"What are you making?" Kira asked.

"We're trying to make quiche."

"Ambitious!"

"I guess," he said, going slightly pink. "We'll see how it turns out…"

Vash caught Kira's eyes and pointed his finger at Knives' rosy cheeks, grinning widely. Knives wrinkled his nose and smacked the finger away. "H-how did you…?" Vash sputtered.

"You smell like ham, moron," he snapped before turning back to Kira. "Would you like a glass of water?" he said, with an impish smirk.

She raised an eyebrow. "Sure…?"

He made his way carefully across the kitchen, fetching a glass, and then turned the tap on and began filling it with his index finger hanging over the edge. Once the water reached his finger, he pulled the glass away and turned the tap off before holding it out to her with a very self-satisfied smile.

She couldn't help but laugh. "Could you at least wash your hands before putting your finger into my drink?" she teased.

"Oh, come on. I thought that was pretty good," he said, looking slightly sheepish.

"Okay, that was impressive. You're really starting to get the hang of things." She felt a swell of pride in her chest.

"Well, I'd rather not be completely dependent on you and Vash," he said in such a pragmatic tone, she almost laughed again. "And it doesn't seem like my sight will be returning anytime soon. I might as well get used to it."

"She's right—you are doing really well. Maybe it's time to decide where to go next…?" Vash prodded. Kira almost winced at his less-than-subtle approach. "I mean, now that the risk of infection has passed, it'll be a lot easier to travel."

A crease appeared between Knives' brows. "I'd rather stay here…"

"You know we can't do that," Vash said with barely contained irritation at his brother's persistent refusal to face the facts. "Look, we know they're hunting for us. It's only a matter of time before they check this town. We need to put more distance between the Federation and us. I know you don't want to go to floating ship, but maybe we could stay in one of the towns near it and I could bring the doc to you? I've known him his entire life—I promise he wouldn't say anything! Or if you really don't want to, we could head toward one of the other cities? Or… anywhere! What about Augusta…?"

The crease deepened and Knives turned away. "Kira, would you like to go for a walk?" he said in obvious dismissal of the conversation.

She cast a glance at Vash and he gave her a weary shrug. "Yeah, sure," she muttered, taking the vexing plant's arm.

x.x.x.x.x

They took walks like this frequently. Knives enjoyed the fresh air, and he was always happy to get away from the crowded house… and from Vash's constant badgering. Being out here alone with Kira reminded him of their time travelling together. It was soothing. Comforting… Well, usually.

Unfortunately, she was pissed right now. Her swift pace, the stiffness in her movements and her silence gave her away. He sighed heavily, staring at her shadowy figure, which broke up the blurred wash of beige sand.

"Everything okay?" she said brusquely.

Yup. Pissed. "I am a bit distressed, but I'll manage," he said, his excessively plaintive tone betrayed by the faint smirk that curved his lips.

She growled. "Ass. Would you mind not using me as a scapegoat next time you don't feel like dealing with something?"

His smiled deepened. "What? Isn't this nice?" he asked, his fingers resting lightly against her arm. Yes, he enjoyed this quite a lot…

"Oh, it's lovely," she said sarcastically, "but unfortunately there are more important matters we should probably attend to."

He sighed again, his smile falling, and fell silent.

"… Why don't you want to leave? I figured you'd want to get as far away from the Federation as possible."

"It doesn't matter where we go—they'll still be there. They can travel as easily as we can… And I'm finally getting sense of this place." He was hesitant to give up the small amount of independence he'd gained. Half of it came from learning the location. If they went somewhere new, he'd have to start all over again.

"I see… We can't stay here forever, you know," she said softly.

"… I know."

"So what do you want to do?"

"I'm not sure." What he wanted to do could never happen… and the options that remained weren't exactly appealing. The only way to stay safe was to run. Forever. It was… daunting. Kira shifted in front of him, walking around something, and he followed her lead.

Just as she followed his…

An all-too-familiar wave of guilt swept through him, driving him to speak. "This isn't going to end, you know. Even if we manage to stop Garrow, I'll have to keep moving."

"I guess," she said absently.

He frowned. He'd been swaying like a pendulum between wanting her to stay and wanting her to go. He had made a couple more half-hearted attempts to encourage her to leave and was secretly thrilled each time she shrugged his words off. But his resolve was once again strengthened. He couldn't drag her from place to place just because he liked having her near.

She needed to understand. "What I'm trying to say is that… you're staying with me until I'm 'safe,' right?"

"Yes…?"

"But I won't ever be safe. Not really…" She had embarked on an impossible mission. If he could just make her see it…

"Then I suppose that means I'm never going to leave you," she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

He nearly stumbled. "N-no… that's not…" If only. How he wished her words were true. "You will leave me… someday," he murmured.

She froze and he immediately cringed. Had he said that out loud? "You mean when I…" She trailed off. "Right. Of course… So that's why…"

Shit. She knew. She knew the full meaning of what he'd said. She understood the barrier it created between them. She understood that this was part of the reason he'd been pushing her away.

She sounded so hurt.

But he was doing it for her! Maybe, if he explained… "It's not that I want you to leave, I just don't want you to waste time on—"

"You're right. It would be stupid for me to waste my incredibly short life with you, wouldn't it," she snapped and he felt her turn. "I think we'd better head back. I don't feel like walking anymore…"

"Kira—"

"Can we just… not talk, for a bit?"

"But—"

"Please." She sighed. "I understand—really," she said, her voice gentler. "It's fine, I just… I don't feel like talking right now."

Fuck. So much for a 'soothing' walk.

x.x.x.x.x

Kira's mind whirred as they made their way slowly back to the house. She was an idiot. How could she have been so obtuse! It wasn't like she had forgotten about the difference in aging between them, but it seemed like such a distant problem compared to everything that was going on right now. Wasn't it something they could deal with later? Did it even matter? After all, they weren't even together.

Then again, she had just offered to stay with him forever. There was definitely an implication there…

That was what he meant, right? He 'didn't want her to waste her time' because they would never be involved romantically? He had already decided that it was too big an issue to overcome, and this was his way of telling her. Still. It seemed a bit preemptive.

So far they were… flirting. At most.

Okay, maybe there was an undercurrent… Fine. There was definitely an undercurrent, pushing them toward something deeper.

She couldn't deny, a part of her wanted to give in to that current, to follow that path wherever it might lead, but… clearly Knives didn't.

Maybe that was why it hurt so much. He'd essentially just rejected her, in an oblique way. She almost laughed at how twisted all of this was. Millions Knives, the person she should technically hate, who had destroyed her life, had rejected her. In advance. Before she even had a chance to make a move.

Dammit. She was an idiot.

And Knives…

Honestly, this was probably as hard on him as it was on her. She knew he cared for her. The longer they were together, the more it would hurt when they had to part… and if he was certain that separating was the only option… if he was convinced that neither friendship nor romance would work between them… then… "Do you really want me to leave?"

She felt his hand tighten. "I… I want you to be happy. And safe. And to have a future."

"And… I can't have that with you?"

He exhaled sharply. "I… I'm not… I don't…"

"Listen—if it's really what you want, I'll do it." The words came out sluggishly. "I'd like to stay with you, but if you think it'd make things… easier… I won't fight you on it. And no matter what happens, I'll be here if you need me. For as long as I can be. So… tell me. Do you really want me to go?"

"Kira…" His voice was thick. "I—"

"There you are!" Livio came striding around the side of the house, an easy grin on his face. "I've been looking for you."

Kira's eyes widened. Livio stopped by most evenings to socialize with Vash and the girls, but he was usually busy at the orphanage during the day. "What brings you here?" she asked in surprise.

"You mentioned you were thinking about looking for work, right? The guy who runs the inn and tavern stopped by and asked if he could hire a few of our kids. I guess there's a caravan of traders who came into town and his place is swamped so he needs some extra help. You'd probably be waiting tables, and maybe cleaning rooms—that kind of thing. Our oldest kids are still a little too young for that, but I told him I'd speak to you about it. It'd only be for a few days—just until these guys finish selling their wares and move on. What do you think?"

"That sounds great. Uh…" She glanced back at Knives who was frowning slightly. "When does he want me to start?"

"Right now, if you can. I can give you a ride there and back."

"Knives…"

"It's fine." He gave her a weak smile. "Go."

She turned back to Livio. "Let me talk to Vash. I'm sure I can at least help out for today."

x.x.x.x.x

Kira left Knives in the living room and ran off to speak with his brother. A couple of minutes later, she trotted past and the door slammed shut behind her. He stood dazedly, all but oblivious to the faint sound of chatting and laughter emanating from the kitchen; his mind currently occupied replaying the events that had just transpired.

He was actually relieved that they'd been interrupted. There was only one thing he could have said to her. But this time, she'd actually listen to him. Shit.

"Um… Knives? Are you okay?" said a voice nearby startled him.

Millie. It was strange that such a high register came from such a gigantic woman. "Where's Vash?"

"He and Meryl are doing the dishes, I think. Is there anything you need?" she asked, and he could detect a note of concern.

He probably looked like hell. He certainly felt like it… a consequence of the anxiety roiling within him. He wanted to lie down and could probably find his way to the bedroom on his own. "Could you tell him I'm upstairs when you see him?"

"Will do."

He cast a quick nod of thanks in her direction before trudging up the stairs and down the hall, his feet leaden. He slumped into bed and tried to wade through his thoughts. This was good. This was for the best. All he had to do was let her know he was serious—to send her away, one more time. He could do that. It was such a small task.

Then she'd be gone.

Knives flipped onto his back and stared at the white blur that was the ceiling. He began running his fingers unconsciously over the scars on his arm as he fell deeply into contemplation. A series of resolute choices, quickly followed by doubt and misgivings, played through his mind, thoroughly undermining any decision he could possibly make. He was so caught up in his circling thoughts that he didn't even hear the approaching footsteps.

"How was your walk," Vash said flatly as he entered the room. He was pissed, understandably.

Still, Knives needed to vent some of his inner turmoil. "I asked Kira to leave again. I kind of let it slip that it was because her life is so short and that she shouldn't waste time with me. So she asked if that was really what I wanted and said that the next time I ask her to leave, she won't argue…"

There was a beat of silence and then Vash snorted. "You know, I'm not sure why, but I always sort of assumed you'd be suave when it came to women, if you ever bothered with them, of course, but… that's just… so dumb."

Knives scowled. "Thanks for understanding," he muttered.

"Well what the hell were you thinking? You told her to leave because of her lifespan, and obviously I understand what you meant, but she probably doesn't. You probably really hurt her feelings! I mean, couldn't you have been a little more indirect? To flat out admit you don't want her because she's gonna die is just—"

"That's not true! That's not…" He clenched his jaw. "And it's not like I said that exactly! It was… implied. Sort of. I don't know, it just… came out. And anyway, you're the one who told me it wouldn't work!"

"What do I know? I mean, it's not like I have that much experience. Besides, look how well it's working for me. Meryl's about ready to break my arm if I don't make a move, and it's getting harder and harder not to do it."

Knives exhaled slowly. "Maybe it's for the best. It's just… now I have to tell her to leave, knowing that she'll actually fucking do it." He sat up and crossed his arms over his knees, his mouth twisting in a fretful grimace. "What the hell am I going to do?"

"Uh… you're going to tell her to leave. Right?"

"And then what…?"

"Focus on where the hell you want us to go next. Live your life. Help stop Garrow." The bed shifted as Vash sat beside him. "Or, you could take back what you said, apologize, and try to make it work with her. Just see how it goes. Chronica said others have done it, right?"

"Yes, but she wasn't exactly detailed as to how."

"I have a feeling the how will be different for everyone."

Knives sighed. "I've always been selfish… even when we were little… even before Tessla. I acted without thinking. I did things without worrying about how they might affect other people. What if this is one of those things? What if I ask her to be with me, and she stays, and then in ten years she changes her mind?"

"Then you'll both move on, and that'll be the end of it."

"But that's such a large portion of her life! And I could have prevented it. I can prevent it—right now. But… I don't want to let her go…"

"Look, why don't you take a few days to think it over, and if you still want to go through with it, you can end it when we leave town. It might be simpler for both of you that way. She can stay here with Livio, or maybe go to Octovern. She could probably even get her job back."

"I suppose that would be simpler."

"And, on the bright side, it sounds like she'll be out of the house for the most part, so you'll have plenty of space to think!"

Knives quirked a brow at his brother's misplaced enthusiasm. Then again, he was probably right. A little distance might help to clarify things. Maybe if he got used to being away from her, the idea of not having her near wouldn't be quite so disheartening.

x.x.x.x.x

And so, he kept his distance. She had only returned to the house to eat dinner and sleep, so it was very easy to do. On top of that, she hadn't said a word to him since their conversation two days ago.

Which was… fine. Perfectly fine.

It gave him a chance to fully ponder the decision in front of him. And maybe it did the same for her. After all, it wasn't only his future this choice would affect. Maybe she'd save him the trouble and decide to leave on her own.

The thought left a sour taste in his mouth. He didn't feel like pondering anymore…

"Okay… king to d2," Vash said.

At least he had a distraction.

Knives saw the piece move in his mind. The twins had first encountered chess on the ship, and they'd quickly realized that they didn't actually need a board to play. They could simply visualize it. And this game was very nearly at an end. "Queen to f2," he said confidently. "Check."

"Hm… king to c3."

"Queen to d4. Check." Vash could technically get out of it, but the move meant a nearly certain victory for Knives.

Vash groaned, realizing the same thing. "Shit. Fine. I concede."

Knives grinned. Although he probably won more often than Vash, it was always a challenge. His brother was much smarter than he let on. This was one of the few pastimes they had always enjoyed together. The victory was satisfying, but now he was left with his thoughts again. The traders were planning on leaving the following day, which meant it was time for a decision, but he was still at an impasse.

And he still didn't feel like thinking about it.

He was about to ask Vash to play another round so he could procrastinate for a little longer when he heard a car pull up outside. He frowned. The daylight was fairly bright—it was too early for Kira to return home.

Livio's voice cut through the air. "Hey! Stop whatever you're doing and pack your things!"

"What's going on?" Vash said, jumping up.

"There's some soldiers going through town, questioning everyone. You guys gotta go, now!"

Vash swore. "Okay… everyone, grab your bags. Livio, can you take Knives out to Meryl's car—it's the red one."

"Yeah."

Knives felt an arm on his and Livio led him forward and shoved him into one of the cars. He could hear the others tossing their bags in the trunk before climbing in themselves. A sudden realization struck him. "Where's Kira?" he called out. Had she come with Livio? He couldn't hear her voice.

"I didn't see her before I came. She's probably still in town."

Knives heart began pounding. "We have to go get her."

"No," Livio said firmly. "There are soldiers all over the place. You'd be spotted immediately. Don't worry—she'll be fine. They're not looking for her. Have any of you heard of Cliffside? About an hour straight north?"

"Yeah—I know it," Vash answered quickly.

"If you want, I'll find her and we can meet up there."

"Knives…?" Vash asked tentatively.

"Yes. Do it." The words spilled out before he even had time to think. He couldn't leave her like this. He had to know she was safe.

"Alright. If we don't show up in a few days, then leave. Got it?"

"Yeah," Vash said softly. "We got it."

They all said their quick goodbyes and the two cars lurched forward, kicking up clouds of sand as they sped off into the desert, Vash, Knives and Meryl in one and Chronica and Millie following close behind.

Knives stared out at the oddly morphing blur of colors, a deep ache settling in his chest as he tried and failed to convince himself that she'd be okay.