Knives spent most of the hour-long drive trying to reign in his anxiety, but it was a pointless endeavor. No matter how many times he told himself that Livio was right—that Garrow's men weren't looking for Kira—he couldn't dispel his fears entirely. After all, even though the house they'd been staying at was supposedly isolated enough that their residency would go unnoticed, there was no guarantee. And she had made several trips into town while they were there. If the villagers mentioned her—the mysterious new arrival, the stranger, the outsider—the soldiers would surely want to question her.
And if they learned that she'd appeared around the same time Knives had escaped…
A knot formed in his stomach at the thought of what Garrow would do to her. If the captain even remotely suspected she was affiliated with Knives, he'd torture her. And there'd be no one to stop him. If he found out she was his ally… Or worse—if he realized that she was the woman who'd saved him in Delnashville…
Knives tried not to think about it but his mind refused to obey.
The fucking bastard liked pain. If he discovered who she was, he'd take his revenge on her. He'd kill her slowly… or maybe he'd keep her alive… to use as a bargaining chip… to play with…
Or maybe she would become another nameless test subject—stripped of her identity and strapped to a chair, murdered and immediately forgotten. As if she were no one. As if she meant nothing…
Knives felt sick, his heart thudding dully in his chest, as the nightmarish possibilities continued to torment him.
"So this is Cliffside…? I can see why Livio recommended this place," Meryl said flatly, her voice a very welcome distraction from his unwanted meditation. "It's so quiet. Do you think it's abandoned?"
"Kinda looks that way," Vash replied, sounding equally unimpressed. "What are we going to do about water?"
"Mirada's a pretty big town. It's not too far from here. If the taps don't work I'm sure Millie wouldn't mind making a trip to get some tanks for us. Where should we stay?"
"It's not like there are a lot of options… The big house?"
"Should we just knock on the door?"
"I guess."
"And if we're wrong and someone actually lives there?"
"Then we sign some autographs," Vash said with almost childish amusement. "Maybe they'll even be starstruck enough to make us dinner!"
Knives heard what might have been a shove, probably from Meryl, followed by Vash chuckling.
"Nitwit," she groused, but her levity was clear. The car came to a halt and Knives heard the second car pull up beside them. "Alright—you two stay in here. I'll check it out." Meryl's door opened and he faintly heard her explaining the situation to the others.
"Hey. How are you doing back there?" Vash asked gently. "You're been awfully quiet."
"… We left her," he murmured, his voice hollow. "I left her."
"It's the best thing we could have done. If we went to get her, they would have spotted us and she'd be in a worse position than she is now. They aren't looking for her. I'm sure she'll stay under their radar until she can sneak away unnoticed. And she's got Livio. She'll be fine."
"And if she's not?" he barked, his anger flaring, though most of it was directed at himself.
"Then we'll go after her, like we did for you. We'd never abandon her—you know that."
"It feels like we already did," he said bitterly. Vash went silent and Knives knew his words had stung. "Sorry," he mumbled. "None of this is your fault…"
"It's not yours either," Vash said softly and Knives felt something wrench in his chest.
"You're wrong. It is my fault. All of it! I brought this on myself, and now I've forced it on the rest of you. I made my choices and I deserve to pay for them, but she doesn't. You don't. None of you do."
Vash responded slowly, as if pondering each word before he said it. "Knives, we made our choices too. We knew what we were getting into, so don't try to take all the blame. We know what you did. We know who you are. And we all decided that you've paid enough for your crimes and you deserve another chance. Don't undermine what we're doing or the sacrifices we're making by acting like we don't have a choice."
This time, it was Knives who was struck silent. He hadn't thought of it like that…
Before he could speak again, the door opened. "The house is empty," Meryl called out cheerfully, grabbing the keys from the ignition. "It's been ransacked, but the bigger furniture is still there. And the plumbing works! It looks like there's an underground cistern in the back. They must have stored some water in case of emergencies. We should probably boil it before we drink it, but it smells clean enough."
They collected their bags and made their way inside with Vash leading Knives. The walk through the house was accompanied by a descriptive commentary from the aqua-eyed plant, interspersed with occasional remarks from the three women. They settled into the four empty bedrooms, with the brothers agreeing to share one, and unpacked. Once they were finished, they began picking up the previous homeowners possessions, which had been scattered about the place.
Since he could see little in the shadowy house and therefore wouldn't be much help, Knives was left alone with his merciless thoughts.
Vash was right—this was the best move. And Kira had known the danger she was facing. She had chosen to stay. He repeated it over and over, but as the minutes crept by, he grew more and more furious with himself. If he hadn't been so resistant to leaving, they wouldn't have been taken by surprise. She wouldn't have been in town, biding her time, while he made up his fucking mind about what to do next.
If the Federation caught her, it was his fault—for hesitating! For being too scared to move. To fight.
When had he become like this? This wasn't who he was. He never hesitated to act. He was never one to shy away or to give in, even if the odds were stacked against him. He took on the entire human race for fuck's sake! How could he let himself be reduced to this? To let his fear control him?
He needed to stop being such a damn coward… about a lot of things. Once Kira was safely returned, it was time to make a move, in more ways than one. And if she wasn't safely returned…? If she was hurt, or killed, Knives would get the damn collar off, he would fix his fucking eyes, and he would rain hell down on Garrow and his pathetic little empire.
x.x.x.x.x
Knives' emotional state swung back and forth between furious resolve and near panic as the day turned to night, and night to morning. By the following afternoon, his anxiety had reached a critical level. Where the hell was she?
The others chatted quietly as he paced across the living room, his heart leaping at every errant sound, as he listened for the gentle whir of wheels on sand. His new mantra was that she was too smart get caught. He repeated it over and over. She'd be there any minute. He just needed to be patient.
A sudden possibility struck him and he froze mid-stride. Maybe she had decided to part ways, and Livio didn't want to make the trip to tell them?
No. No, he wouldn't do that.
Knives began pacing again. He had learned more about Livio in the last couple of weeks than he had in all the years the man had spent under his command. Livio was surprisingly honorable… or maybe he'd become honorable. Either way, his life was now dedicated to helping others as a sort of penance for the things he'd done.
If he was being honest, Knives found the man's transformation a little intimidating. Was that what he was expected to do? Maybe he hadn't 'paid enough' for his crimes after all. How the hell could he ever make up for the pain he'd caused? Where would he even start…?
He let out a heavy breath and pushed it from his mind. There was too much going on to worry about that right now. All that mattered was getting Kira back…
The sound of a car pulling up abruptly ended his ruminations and set his heart drumming. Was she here? She must be.
"Come on," Vash said, offering an arm.
Knives grabbed on and his brother brought him outside with the others trailing behind them. He could vaguely see the dark truck against the pale sand and two shadowy figures moving toward them. Kira's voice rang out in greeting and he could suddenly breathe again. She was safe. He'd never felt so relieved in his life.
"Kira," he called out softly, dropping Vash's arm and taking a couple steps forward.
"I'm here." He felt her hand on his and he immediately circled his arms around her, pulling her tightly against him. After a moment, she reciprocated, curving her arms around his waist and leaning into his chest.
"I was worried," he murmured.
"Sorry we took so long. We didn't want to draw attention by leaving too quickly."
"I was sure they'd caught you… that the villagers had turned you in…"
"Oh—no! We told everyone that I've been working at the orphanage. The soldiers didn't even notice me. I'm fine."
She straightened up, as if to prove it, and from such a close distance, he could almost make out the delicate features of her face. Before he could talk himself out of it, he brought a hand to her jaw and leaned in, pressing his lips firmly against hers, while simultaneously tightening his other arm around her. She let out a surprised squeak and pulled away.
He immediately let go, his face burning, and took a quick step back. He stood there, dumbfounded, feeling like a complete ass. What the hell was he doing? He had intended to make a move, but not like this. There was an entire fucking conversation that needed to happen first.
And what was she doing? Had she changed her mind? Was she just here to say goodbye? Or… had he been misinterpreting things this whole time? Maybe her offers of 'never leaving' and 'being there if he needed her' were only meant in friendship.
Of course they were. He was a fool to think her feelings ran any deeper than that. She didn't want him. Not in the way he wanted her. He'd just been rejected… and very publicly. He was humiliated, but his wounded ego paled in comparison to the devastation of his shattered heart.
"Um, Knives," she said nervously. "I think we need to talk. In private."
"Our room's at the end of the hall on the left," Vash offered brightly, his blatant, idiotic amusement adding insult to injury.
Kira put his hand on her arm and led him away from the unusually quiet group of people. After that display, Knives half expected mocking laughter. From Chronica at least…
x.x.x.x.x
Once the reached the bedroom, she shut the door behind them.
There was only one way to proceed. "Kira, I… I'm sorry," he murmured, "I shouldn't have—"
Her lips crashed against his, her hands gripping tightly to his shirt and the rest of his sentence was instantly forgotten. Before he had finished processing what the hell was happening, she broke the kiss, a gentle sigh escaping her lips.
"… Oh…" he said softly, a look of surprise on his face.
He heard her chuckle. "Yeah…"
"But… you didn't…?"
"You surprised me!"
She leaned in again, and this time his kissed back, hard, possessively, ferociously. He ran his fingers through her hair, tangling them in the silken strands. She moved her lips along his jaw to his earlobe and began sucking on it, causing his groin to tighten and his breath to catch in his throat.
"W-wait," he choked out, immediately regretting the sudden flash of conscience, but knowing he had to continue. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, resting his hands on her shoulders.
"Are you?" she asked seriously.
Good question. "I've wanted this for so long… but…"
"You're worried about the future," she finished, loosening her grip on his shirt. "You're worried about whether or not we can be happy together, or if we're getting into something that will only hurt us both."
A wrinkle formed between his brows and he nodded. "Aren't you?"
"I'd be lying if I said 'no.' But I still want to see where this goes."
"What if it becomes too difficult and you've wasted years of your life on something that won't work?"
She laughed. "Knives, the same thing could be said about any relationship."
"Yes, but I presume most don't begin with such massive complications," he said dryly.
"True. Look, if this isn't something you want, I understand, and I promise I won't take it personally. But I don't want you to send me away for my sake."
He nodded. "I do want this. I want you… but I'm still not entirely sure that you know what you're getting into."
"Neither of us can predict the future. You don't know how this will turn out any more than I do. And I think… maybe… even if it doesn't work… if it doesn't last… maybe it'll still be worthwhile."
The corner of his mouth curved into a faint smirk. "You think I'm 'worthwhile?'"
"I said 'maybe' didn't I?" she retorted playfully. She moved her hand to his jaw and brushed her thumb gently over his cheek. "All I can say for sure is that I want to be with you now. For whatever fucking reason, I care about you." She leaned up and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "And I like being near you. And talking with you. Spending time with you." She punctuated each sentence with more gentle kisses and Knives felt any lingering concerns slipping away. "You're amusing, and clever, and fun to tease…" Another, longer kiss. "You're passionate. You're determined. But you can be very tender…"
Her slightly parted lips began roaming over his and Knives couldn't contain a shuddering sigh. "Well," he said, rather breathlessly, "I can see why you find it so difficult to leave me."
She snorted. "Did I forget to mention that you're an arrogant, conceited ass who—"
His lips cut her off, effectively ending the conversation. A euphoric rush, an eager anticipation, flooded his veins and prickled over his skin. His nerves were on high alert, sensitive and ready. The demanding play of her lips and tongue, the gentle caress of her fingers on his cheek, and the pressure of her body, pressed taut to his, sent enticing waves of sensation through him that all seemed to gather in one place.
She began tugging on his shirt and he quickly pulled it off. The moment it was gone, a sudden insecurity struck him, dampening his excitement. Although he'd put on a bit of weight and muscle, he was still not back to his optimal form. And even if he were, his appearance was different than it had been. He used to be a living representation of physical perfection, but now… Now, he was damaged. Scarred.
And her reaction when she'd seen him bathing wasn't exactly encouraging…
Before he could think on it further, her restless lips began travelling down his neck as her hands skated provocatively across his bare skin, causing his pulse to race once again. He felt her pause and run her thumb over a spot near his shoulder where one of the more noticeable marks had been left after the bastards had skewered him. "Does it hurt?" she asked softly.
"No…" Not physically anyway, although the memory still sent shivers down his spine.
She leaned in and pressed her lips gently against it. A potent emotion, both wonderful and painful welled in his chest. He caught her jaw and drew her lips back to his. He suddenly had a very strong need to kiss her. She didn't seem to mind.
"The bed," he murmured.
Kira led the way, and, without separating their lips, they stumbled across the room and fell onto the mattress with a thud, making her laugh. Once she had finished arranging them in a less haphazard position, Knives redoubled his efforts, kissing her fiercely, bruising her lips before making his way down her neck and along her collarbone. He lifted her shirt and she quickly shed it along with her bra. He began gently teasing her nipples with his teeth and tongue, bringing forth a series of soft, breathy noises from her that further stoked his desire to please her. He trailed his lips down her stomach and fumbled with her pants, sliding them down her legs along with her panties.
His hands found her legs and he slowly began working his way up them, placing teasing kisses and gentle nips along her inner thighs and exhaling hot puffs of breath against her sensitive skin until she was trembling in anticipation. Once he reached her center, he slowly felt along her folds until he located her clitoris, thankful that their previous sexual encounters had mostly been in the dark and he'd learned to do things by touch alone. He bent down and began stroking his tongue over it, persistently lapping and sucking, causing her to arch into him with a gasp as her hands knotted in the bedding.
He continued on at a tantalizing pace, enjoying her soft vocalizations. She began moving in time with his actions, forcing him to drape an arm across her hips to hold her steady while her noises grew louder and more desperate. He paused for a moment to wet one of the fingers on his free hand before sliding it inside of her, gently stroking her tight walls from within while continuing his oral ministrations outside. She let out a moaning curse and he couldn't contain a smirk. Her fingers dug into his arm as her hips bucked against his hold until she suddenly let out a gasping cry of pleasure, her body tensing and quivering around his finger.
She went slack and he leaned back, wiping his mouth and hand, still smiling. "At least I can still do that blind," he said in a gravelly whisper.
She laughed and let out a satisfied sigh. "Your talents never cease to amaze. Now get up here," she said, tugging on his arm. "I'm ready for round two."
He grinned, quickly shedding the rest of his clothes, and felt his way up her body, positioning himself over her. She guided him in and he released a low groan as her friction and heat enveloped him. It had been far too long. He began slowly easing himself in and out her as she rocked up to meet him. Her lips moved aimlessly along his shoulder before she came to rest for a moment, breathing against the crook of his neck. "Knives… I've missed you…" she murmured, running a hand down his side before placing a tender kiss under his jaw.
That was it. He began fucking her with long, deep strokes that shook the bed. He pressed her into the mattress, grunting loudly with each thrust. She moaned and clung to him, her fingers raking roughly down his back, adding a delicious layer of pain to the building sensations. She arched against him, meeting his pace, as her second wave of pleasure built. He could feel her every spasm of her body, every muscle she tightened, and he had to breathe deeply to stave off his own impending surge. To his great relief, she let out an elongated cry as her body trembled around him. Carnal groans tumbled from his lips as he continued pounding into her until he found his own vocal release. He thrust a few more times, spilling the last of his seed before collapsing on top of her, utterly and wonderfully spent.
They lay there in silence, still linked in a blissful post-coital haze. She traced her fingers lazily across his sweat-slicked skin as he panted against her, drifting in a sea of comforting warmth. For once, his mind was mercifully tranquil, allowing him to simply bask in the present without worrying about the things that lay beyond it. In this moment they were safe, she was his, and the world was perfect…
When he felt her start to shift beneath him, he let out a protesting sigh. "Can't we stay like this forever…?"
She laughed and kissed his forehead. "We'll do this again, don't worry. But we'll have to get back to the others at some point…"
He huffed and slowly dismounted from her, sitting back on his ankles. "Very well. If you insist," he grumbled.
x.x.x.x.x
Kira, once again clothed, grimaced as she stared down and the less-than-pristine sheets. They hadn't exactly planned for clean up when they started their somewhat spontaneous romp. "Guess we'll need to do laundry," she muttered.
"I guess Vash will need to find another room too," Knives said, encircling her waist with his arm and nuzzling her hair before brushing his lips against her temple.
She smiled at his antics. She'd missed the overtly affectionate version of Knives. "I don't want to put him out. I can sleep on the couch."
He scoffed. "I imagine he'd actually prefer being put out if it means you and I are together."
"You think so?"
"He's said as much."
Kira's brow arched. "You guys have talked about me?"
He looked charmingly sheepish. "A bit…"
"Well, if he's as persistent as you seem to think, I guess I'll accept his spot."
"If he's not, you and I will be sharing the couch," Knives said wryly.
Kira grinned and placed his hand on her arm, leading him back through the house.
x.x.x.x.x
The others were lounging about the living room and met them with expressions that ranged from nearly uncontained delight, on Vash's part, to mild disgust, from Chronica. It was Meryl who spoke first.
"So. You two 'talked?'" she asked, in her usual, somewhat prim manner.
Kira felt her face go pink.
"Would you mind 'talking' a little more quietly next time?" the raven-haired woman said evenly, a tiny curve at the corner of her mouth giving her away.
Kira cringed. "Sorry…" She glanced back and Knives and he looked equally uncomfortable.
"Don't be," Vash called out merrily, a huge grin splitting his face. "We're just glad you made it here safely."
Kira glanced around the room. "Where's Livio?"
"He took off shortly after you went inside," Vash said, still excessively cheerful. "Said he didn't feel like waiting. Oh—and he says 'congratulations to you both.'"
Kira cringed again. "Wonderful." She led Knives to an empty spot on the couch and sat beside him. "So, what's the plan?" she said, eager to change the subject.
"Actually, I have an idea about that," Knives said before anyone else could speak. "Since we're still waiting to move against Garrow, I'd like to try to regain my sight, if possible."
There was a moment of silence before Vash broke it. "Um… that's great, but what did you have in mind?"
Knives frowned. "I wouldn't say I have an detailed plan…"
"Is the floating ship still out? The doc on board is really great and he could remove the collar too!"
"I don't think a human doctor would do me much good," he said stiffly.
"Then…?" Vash sounded confused.
"One of the angels healed me after my body was destroyed in July, but I had to live inside the bulb with her and the process took years. Granted, she had to support my normal physical functions while she rebuilt a large portion of my organs and tissues. Staying on display in a bulb for a year obviously isn't an option this time, but… I was hoping…" He trailed off.
"You want to know your options with regards to angelic healing," Chronica surmised.
"Yes. Do you know anything about it?"
She sneered. "And why I should help you? So you can take advantage of our sisters again? Abuse them for your own personal gain?"
"Hey," snapped Kira. "That's enough."
"Please," Knives said, his voice solemn, "Such a small physical repair should be an easy thing for them. I'm only slowing the rest of you down right now, and we don't have time for that. I'm tired of being defenseless. I want to be able to fight, and I want to help you stop Garrow in whatever way I can. All I'm asking for is knowledge."
Chronica's lips thinned to a tense line as she deliberated. Finally, her posture relaxed and she gave an uninterested sigh. "I suppose we have nothing better to do… You want to know how long it will take for them to repair your ocular structure, yes?"
"And if I need to be inside the bulb for it to work."
"Well, I don't have much knowledge to give you—angelic healing is rarely used. I can tell you that you don't have to be inside the bulb, since you won't need the angel as a lifeline, but you will need to be in contact with it. The angels can radiate their energy to the glass surface, and if you're touching it, they can direct it through you."
"Do you know how long it would take?"
"I don't. Since they're being grouped together, you could probably draw on the energy of more than one. I imagine that would speed up the process quite a lot. I think your biggest challenge will be asking them for help, since you can't reach out to them with that collar on."
"But they can still reach out to him, right?" Vash asked.
"They can," Chronica replied, "but would they?"
"Why not? I'm sure they'll recognize him," Vash said, matter-of-factly.
Chronica arched a brow. "Yes, I'm sure they will," she said coolly, clearly unconvinced that recognition would improve the situation. "Well, on the off chance that you do manage to make contact with them,I supposed I should also warn you that it will probably hurt. The atmosphere inside the bulbs allows the energy to be radiated in a field, and taken in more evenly, but since you'll be receiving it in a different form, it'll flow through you more like a current."
Knives nodded, his brows furrowed. "As long as it doesn't kill me." Chronica's indifferent shrug went unseen by him.
"So you'll just have to visit the angels and hope that everything works the way you want it to?" Vash asked.
"It seems so," Knives answered somewhat dejectedly. "The next question is whether there's even a way for me to visit the angels without being arrested."
"The ones aboard the Federation ships obviously won't work," Kira muttered. "What about Ellie? I know Octovern is risky, but maybe if we're quick…?"
"Ellie is out," Meryl said with a frown. "The Federation's been overseeing all her work. He'd be captured if we took him there."
Vash sighed. "And the floating ship is still out…?"
Knives scowled, his opinion clear. Unfortunately, it was the only option they had left.
Kira put her hand on his arm. "Maybe Vash can go up first and speak to Luida—"
"Even if she agreed not to turn me in, do you really think she'd let me use one of the angels on her ship?" Knives said sharply.
A heavy silence hung in the air before a timid voice broke it.
"Um… what about December?" Millie offered lightly.
Four pairs of eyes turned to her. "There aren't any angels in December," Meryl said, voicing the thought on everyone's mind.
"There might be, by now. They finished the new bulb a couple weeks ago."
"What!" Meryl shouted. "How did I not know about this? We should be covering it!"
Millie gave her an innocent look. "I thought you did. And the boss was probably too scared to mention it since you keep telling him how busy we are."
"Only because I don't want him to call us back to Octovern… or fire us," the raven-haired woman muttered. "Well, this is perfect!" she said, with sudden zeal.
Vash cocked his head. "Uh… maybe I'm missing something, but why is this so perfect? We still don't have a way in."
Meryl waved her hand dismissively. "You're missing the point—we don't need an in. Because I have a plan! If all he needs to do is stand by the bulb, that should be easy," she said, a cunning glint in her eye. "And it'll buy Millie and I some more time. We'll just do a special on 'Vash welcoming his sisters to their new home.' I'm sure the folks in December would love the publicity. And I doubt anyone would be able to tell the difference if we cover his eyes with sunglasses. I mean, his hair is long enough and we could style it like yours. Shave the beard. Wear the red coat, obviously…" She tapped her chin, her eyes narrowed. "The real trick is going to be leading him around without looking like we're leading him around." She turned to Knives who seemed stunned by her rapid discourse. "How does that sound? Do you think you can pull off a convincing 'Vash the Stampede?'"
Knives raised his eyebrows. "Uh…"
"Perfect," she concluded. "We have a plan!"