Days go by and all my free time goes to training in our gym at the Rift. My nights are filled with drinking until I can't remember a thing, waking up to attend boring meetings, and then spending the rest of my day training hardcore. Farley no longer asks me to join missions with them and goes to Ptolemus instead. I see Elane during dinner time but outside of that, only rarely in passing. We don't talk. We avoid looking at one another. I pretend like she's another Red servant and my parents don't seem to mind. As long as I'm doing their bidding marrying Cal, they don't care what happens in my personal life.
In the gym, I often see familiar faces including Ptolemus and Cal. They're always there with me, along with Wren in case we overwork ourselves. I've been refusing Wren's abilities, preferring to toughen out the pain and soreness long after the workout. Cal seems impressed by it, but Ptolemus always looks concerned for me. I ignore both, keeping mainly to myself.
Mare has recently begun showing up to the gym, but I ignore her as well. She and Cal still don't talk, and she's been practicing to herself. Kilorn watches every now and then with nothing better to do. They're not even dating and he's still faithful to her. I'm bitter over their relationship. I'm bitter about everything right now.
I'm practicing with my knives in the target range section when Wren comes up to me, at a reasonable distance.
"Evangeline, you've been training for three hours straight. Did you need some water?" She offers a bottle. I continue throwing my knives at the targets, hitting the center dead-on. My whole body is covered in sweat, but I shake my head at her.
Wren is persistent. "Come on. You haven't even let anyone heal you for three days straight. You've much less spoken to anyone in the last week."
"Shouldn't you be focused on my brother?" My knives shift into bullets and I fly them into the targets at a faster speed. Don't get me wrong, my body is sore but I'm trying to adjust to the weak feeling to make myself stronger. The longer I can hold out feeling my body ache, the better stamina I'll have in battle.
Sighing, she leaves me alone. A few minutes later, Cal steps up beside me closer than Wren was. He's not afraid of my abilities.
"Hey Evangeline, do you want to grab food with me?"
In the middle of shooting my bullets, they hover in mid-air. "Are you serious?" I look at him, amused. I'm not stupid. Ptolemus is clearly sending people over to me to pull me away from my intense training session. Servants have been offering me things all day. Cal's expression is a poor attempt at trying to remain neutral. It's clear he doesn't want to eat dinner with me as much as I don't want to speak to anyone.
"Sure," he responds airily. "I haven't eaten a meal since this morning."
I look over at Mare who is clearly trying extra hard to focus on punching some bags. She's fully aware of where Cal is and who he's talking to right now. "You could always invite Mare out to dinner."
Cal frowns at me. I've gotten used to upsetting people this last week. "Listen," he begins. "You haven't talked to anyone and normally I wouldn't care, but this isn't like you. You're isolating yourself. That's not healthy, especially knowing how much you like to hurt others."
I laugh. "Isn't it healthier that I'm not hurting others?"
"See, that's just weird." Cal waves his hand at me. "I don't know what you went through with Elane, but this doesn't seem like you're moving on from her."
Hearing her name hit a nerve. I bare my teeth at Cal. "I am done with her, Calore. Worry about me once we're married but leave me be until then." To irk him, I send one of my newly formed knives flying toward Mare. It grazes her upper arm, and she yelps in surprise. Cal grabs my wrist, eyes fuming.
"Why would you do that?" he growls.
Nonchalantly, I remind him, "Am I back to normal now that I've hurt someone? Or is it possible that maybe for once in my life, I'm the one hurt?"
We hold each other's gaze, a challenge.
"Stop playing around, Evangeline." Finally, Cal turns around to walk over to Mare and see if she's okay. It's the first he's spoken to her in weeks, I believe. Mare is dumbfounded and doesn't know what to do with herself now that Cal is openly expressing concern over her. She looks over at me, expression mixed between irritation and confusion.
"What'd you do that for?" she calls out to me. Kilorn and Cal are beside her, worrying over something so small as a scratch on her arm. That could easily be healed by Wren if they would just give her some space.
"Accident," I smile pleasantly.
"An accident from all the way across the room?" Mare raises a brow. Wren takes hold of her arm to heal the injury that I've caused, but Mare pulls her arm away. She's stubborn about keeping the scars she's earned, as if they were prizes to be shown off.
Cal murmurs something to her, and Mare's attention is immediately on him. I notice Kilorn backing off a little and I finally can't help but pity the fish boy. It must be hard watching the one he likes absorbed in another. Cal sits her down on the bench with a water bottle. She takes a huge drink, the condensation from the cold water bottle dripping down her chin, onto her collar bone. My face flushes at how sensual that looked. Cal wraps a bandage around her minor injury tenderly, after sanitizing the area and Mare looks at him with adoration. She's so head over heels for him. I can't stand the sight of them, so I return to my training.
It's obvious they want to be with one another, so why doesn't he choose her? If I were him, I'd always pick my significant other over any throne, any day. Not to mention, I'm sure Cal's needs haven't been met either which explains why he's always training in here almost as long as I am. That must be where all the sexual tension and sexual frustration from them comes from. I glance over in between one of my throwing rounds, and sure enough, they are sitting beside each other talking for once. Their arms and legs are touching, and they're unphased by it.
Suddenly frustrated by the sight, I leave the gym to find food.
A few more days go by, and I catch myself looking at Mare often. During our training sessions, Cal has been physically closer to her but has gone back to not speaking to her. She seems unaffected by it. She's been training just as long as the rest of us, having taken a break from her missions. I wonder if she's waiting for Cal to make the first move again, but not out of worry this time. I could always do her a favor and throw another knife at her, but I think better of it. I don't want to be on Calore's bad side before the wedding.
I'm sitting on the bench, watching the others practice as I've always done when I see Mare head over to the target range section. She doesn't use it often, and I wonder if it's because she hasn't been practicing her lightning as much since she's stopped going on missions temporarily. Either way, I'm interested in watching her powers again. They've always intrigued me, being so different than the other Silvers' skills.
She stretches her arms and legs, her figure smaller than the rest of ours. She's a short thing with a lot of fight in her. Thinking back on our battles and fights, it's impressive that she's managed to hold out for this long.
Then she starts going, moving lithely back and forth between her targets. Her footing is precise and smooth because of her thieving history. It almost looks like she's dancing, and I'm mesmerized. Not by the sparks and lightning shooting out of her hand, but by her movements. A hand here, foot landing there. Twisting and turning gracefully to shoot a deadly lightning bolt at her targets. Seeing her muscles tense up in her forearms and legs makes me flush because I've never noticed how attractive she was before. Shaking my head hard and taking a drink of my water, I push that thought out of my mind. Mare's a Red at heart, having grown up in the trenches with beggars and criminals. We're from two different worlds.
My eyes wander over to Cal, who is also trying hard not to stare at Mare. Kilorn isn't here today. I fidget in my seat, growing uncomfortable with myself. Why does Mare have such an effect on people? I don't get it. She's a little, stubborn punk with no class.
Her dark hair is up in a ponytail, and I notice how it falls against her neck and slender back. Sweat beads on her forehead and her skin glistens with it. Normally, I would be disgusted but for some reason it doesn't bother me. Her dark eyes are focused on the target before her, and I can see how Cal would be instantly attracted to her. Mare is brazen, but she's got a certain beauty because of it. Much like her blonde friend who has such an intimidating vibe, but it makes her stand out in a good way.
Ugh, what's gotten into me?
After the training session, I take a bath and look at my body in the mirror. I'm taller, slender, and leaner. I stand with poise and class, meant for royalty. My skin is smooth and pale, not riddled with scars like Mare. We stand in direct opposition of one another in nearly everything we do. It bothers me that I'm thinking of her this much. Irritated, I take a drink of wine until my mind becomes fuzzy. After the bath, I lie in bed trying to focus my thoughts on random things.
It wanders from Elane to Ptolemus to Cal. I think of Norta, and how close we are to defeating Maven. I think of the courtyard garden and my parents, and how proud they would be of me for becoming queen. I think of how numb I've felt ever since my heart broke. The last thing I see before I drift off to sleep is Mare shooting lightning bolts from her hands in the target range section.
"Evangeline," a girl moans underneath me. I hold onto her writhing hips, taking her into my mouth once more. She moves against me, and it turns me on knowing that I have full control over her.
I insert a finger inside of her, slowly pumping and teasing her. We're in the training gym, and she's tied up in rope, unable to move freely.
"Mm," I inhale against her. She smells warm and similar to one of my perfumes.
"Don't stop," she breathes. "You're going to make me cum."
I keep going, licking at her in a constant pace in the spot most sensitive. My lower regions are extremely wet as well, aching to be touched. I finger myself as I finger her and eat her out.
Her moaning grows louder, and I'm extremely turned on. "I'm so close!" she screams. She grabs hold of my hair and squeezes to my delight as she orgasms from my techniques. When I look up to see her face, dark hair rests against her breasts and it's Mare's face I see. Giving in to my desires, we're suddenly in a 69 position and eating each other out. I grind my hips into her face, wanting more, craving more, needing more. I feel myself close to climaxing, as if having sex with Mare was a normal occasion. I shake with my orgasm.
And suddenly, I'm awake, sweating hard and flustered. Cursing to myself, I collapse back onto my bed, closing my eyes. What was that dream? Was that a sex dream?
Appalled, I feel myself down there and notice how wet I've become. Oh no. Groaning, I turn my face into my pillow. All because of Elane, and this heartbreak, and sexual frustration, I had a sex dream about Mare. Mare, my enemy. Mare, the girl who continues to get under my skin for the past few months during this war. Mare, the girl I was trying to push toward Cal to escape an imprisoned marriage. What is wrong with me?
I can feel myself throbbing down there, but I refuse to do anything about it. I'm not going to do something to satisfy myself right after a dream like that! That's too risky, and my mind would wander, and that's not something I want to think about during. But I also don't want to think about Elane. Groaning, I turn over onto my side trying not to think about anything.
I lay there for what seems like hours in sexual frustration. Unable to fall asleep, I get up and head to the gym once again to distract myself from my pathetic problems.