A few days go by after the incident with Mare and I'm still in shock. The thought of us fooling around in my bed horrifies me. To kiss Mare Barrow? I must have been too drunk. There's no way I would have done it sober. We had been avoiding each other up until now and it's hard to admit that I am, in fact, attracted to her.

In training, Mare shoots lightning at the targets with such ease and destruction. It's both beautiful and chaotic to watch. I've never looked at any other girl besides Elane, so I don't even know if I have a type. It's frustrating to deal with this "crush." I shouldn't have to deal with this in the first place. Another thing to blame Elane for.

When I take a break at the benches, Mare makes her way over to me with a determined expression.

"Evangeline."

I raise a brow at her boldness. It's the first she's spoken to me since that night. It wouldn't surprise me if she was terrified at what we had done together. I look at her expectantly.

Red taints her cheeks as she struggles to find the words. "I-I didn't mind."

"Mind what exactly?"

She shifts from one foot to the other. Will this be my first rejection, from my enemy, no less? "What I'm saying is that I wasn't… disgusted. I don't believe I could ever develop feelings for you though."

My chest stings randomly. She wasn't disgusted by kissing another girl. It's my face that is now heating silver. "Oh. Yes, well."

"It's strange to see a Samos speechless." Just like that, we're back to how we are.

Straightening up, I say, "It's not often that a Red, the face of the Scarlet Guard, shares news such as this with a Silver."

She laughs. "Are we referring to this as news now?"

"Silvers always drink and fool around with Reds, lowly Silvers, the like. It's all the same."

Mare shakes her head at me, having always been unamused at my comments. "Just glad to know we're on the same page."

Looking out at the others training, I find that I don't really want to know the answer, but I ask anyway. "Are you still planning to attend the ball?"

To my surprise, she nods. "I wouldn't let you suffer by yourself. I know you're still going through it. Though I can't say the same would be done for me, if our roles were reversed."

"Perhaps things are different now," I shrug. "You've proved yourself to be a valuable ally."

Mare grins at me. "Then we both suffer together."

The relief and anticipation I feel at Mare attending the ball is undeniable, as much as I would like to push it down. She has been the only person I have opened my heart to since it was so carelessly handled, and I fear the repercussions at allowing myself to have grown close to her. My mind replays the moment in my bedroom at the most inconvenient of times, mostly when I am bored. Despite agreeing it was a one-time thing, there's a slight ache of wanting to kiss her again and I don't have any idea how to get rid of it. She annoys me.

"-geline? Evangeline?"

"Hmm?"

Mother looks at me with contempt in her eyes, her knife slicing cleanly into the steak on her plate. She must be wishing it was my head. All eyes are on me around the dinner table, after I missed what was said.

"Father asked if you'll be at the ball tomorrow night," Ptolemus repeats, helping me out. "You know, to represent the Samos bloodline."

Asked? Father never asks me of things, he only ever demands me to. Just for the hell of it, I tell them, "I may have other plans."

Father scowls. "Your only plan is to carry out this family's rule. I want none of your nonsense, Evangeline."

"Yes, Father." I push the food around on my plate, wanting to suddenly be anywhere but here. Why was it so easy to be with Mare? It was like being able to breathe after feeling suffocated for so long.

"How is the process of creating an heir coming along?" Mother asks Ptolemus. I feel Elane look at me, but I continue prodding at my food, unphased.

"It's coming along," Ptolemus strains. A few weeks ago, this kind of talk would have made me uncomfortable. I would have felt like throwing up knowing my lover would have to sleep with my own brother. Elane and I comforted one another multiple times. But now? Now it feels like karma. She'll have to maneuver the Samos household without me.

"You've attempted more than once?" Mother asks, straight to the point.

"Yes."

The news doesn't shock me, but I feel like it should.

"I have some aids to help you two increase the likeliness of a child. Evangeline, once you and Cal are wed together, I will give some to you as well. The importance of an heir is significant to maintaining our rule."

A lie finds its way out of Elane's mouth. "We're very thankful for your help and encouragement."

Mother gives one of her wicked smiles. "To think, both of our children will make powerful and strong heirs ruling in two kingdoms."

"Oh, yes," I say, a lace of sarcasm. "I am most excited for you, Ptolemus. With an heir, you are well on your way to becoming a true king. And Elane, I am so proud of you. You'll be an outstanding mother."

Elane's jaw drops. "Evangeline… Ptolemus and I must create a child of the Rift. And soon."

"Yes, that's what wives are supposed to do. Give heirs, pass on powerful abilities, help run a kingdom." She wants to know if I care, and I will not give her that luxury. "It's exactly what I will be doing with Cal, except I'm securing our family name beyond the Rift."

"The… The lightning girl hasn't been too happy about that," Elane offers meekly to whoever cares enough.

"She is of no threat," Mother scorns. "She's a Red and therefore not worthy of marrying Cal. The 'love' they have for another will never be as valuable as someone worthy of being a queen. Anabel will never approve."

"If she comes for Evangeline, then let her," Father adds. "And she will see the consequences for it."

"Yes," I grin at Elane, knowing the two of us share even more secrets together. "Let her come for me. I will handle her swiftly, as I do with the others."

Elane stands up abruptly from her chair. Her hands tremble before she places them on the table to still them. "Please excuse me. I suppose I feel a little bit sick." She rushes out before anyone can say anything to her.

"Your wife is very sensitive." Disdain drips from Mother's tone. "Ptolemus, be sure to handle that. She cannot be this weak once you are on the throne."

Ptolemus nods, cutting his eyes over to me. He almost looks disappointed. "I'll take care of it, as I have always done."

After having dinner with the warmest family I have ever known, I cannot wait to finally sink into my silk covers and be to myself for the night. The anguish on Elane's face was a winning point for me. I pour myself a cup of wine and sink into the steaming bathwater, relaxing my muscles.

I do care, truly. I have always cared for Elane. The whole reason why she was to be married to Ptolemus was to stay close to me. The fact they've tried for children on more than one occasion makes it harder to breathe, the more I think about it. It must be equally as hard for Ptolemus and Wren. The thought disturbs me, and it feels cold suddenly.

Sinking further into the water, I think instead of Mare. Her soft lips against mine, though not quite as gentle as Elane's. Her skin is embroidered with battle scars, so unlike the fragile smoothness I'd become used to. In Elane, there is light that warms me but in Mare, darkness resides. And it has become so familiar that it is almost a comfort because I see it in myself. I want to hide out in the shadows for once knowing that I am unexposed.

When I am finished, I step into my room and feel a presence. Over by the windows, Elane shimmers into view. Her eyes are puffy, but she still manages to pull off an air of elegance.

"You're not allowed in here."

"You didn't care that Ptolemus and I have slept together."

I perch on the edge of my bed, leaning back on one hand. I smooth the other over the hem of my silk robe. Waiting.

"And," Elane chokes. "You're going after the girl you hate to get back at me. I know you, Eve."

Irritation flares up. "Do not bring that up."

"It's true. You still care about me. You would, otherwise you wouldn't go this far."

I don't say anything. I don't know what to say to someone who knows my heart like the back of her hand. It hurts.

She continues, wiping away tears. "I know what you're doing with that lightning girl, and if that's what it takes to get us back together, then so be it. It's only fair, right? I've slept with your brother and a Skin healer."

"And what am I doing with the lightning girl?" My voice is unrecognizable to me. Void of any emotion. I have disconnected from her in a moment of self-preservation. I don't even know what I'm doing at this point.

Her eyes well over with tears again. "I only came to pass along what I wanted to tell you." She moves to my door, and says, "I'll be waiting for you, Eve. I always will."

And then she's gone.