Chapter 8 Lucy
Vegeta paces the floor of his bedroom, wondering what his next move should be
"Why would Kakarot kiss me? And why on earth was he calling my name when he was… Doing that?" He wondered aloud for the hundredth time.
"'Cause he likes ya," Lucy answers again, and Vegeta ignores her, again.
"I mean I know exactly why I almost let him kiss me the first time, it's these silly side effects messing with my emotions, but why would he kiss me? That's the real question."
"Coz he likes ya, hun" She rolls her eyes as she answers.
"That is absurd, he doesn't like me at all. Me and Kakarot have never liked each other," Vegeta snaps.
"Okay, so if he doesn't like ya, why did he get that huge boner when ya was touching him? And if ya don't like him why did ya heart rate double when ya saw it?"
"My heart rate did no such thing," Vegeta denies angrily.
"Did too."
"It did not, you have no proof," He smiles smugly.
"I can prove it right now," Lucy challenges.
"What do you mean? How can you?" Vegeta asks a little more quietly, feeling his confidence shrink a little. Lucy gets up and walks over to where Vegeta stands.
"Don't freak out, okay?" She mumbles, before clicking her fingers and morphing into Goku.
"Holy fuck, how did you do that?"
"I'm a demon, I can look like whatever I want, now come 'ere," She instructs in her own voice. Vegeta can't deny he is a little freaked out, seeing this perfect copy of Goku speak in Lucy's voice has got to be one of the strangest things he has ever seen, and he has seen some shit.
Without warning she leans forward and presses her lips to Vegeta's, letting out a contented little moan as she does.
Vegeta doesn't know what to think, but in that instant, he realises that he wants this, he wants Goku to kiss his lips. He knows this is not really Goku, but for the briefest of moments he allows himself to pretend, and he kisses back, twisting his fingers into fake Goku's hair and returning the little moan.
"Vegeta, I love you," Lucy whispers in a perfect imitation of Goku's voice, and Vegeta nearly loses it, his body shivers and he has to work hard to turn away from Lucy before he rips all her clothes off and takes her right here and now.
"I want you so bad," She moans.
"Fuck, will you stop that," He hisses.
"I need you Veg," She whines still in Goku's voice, trying to pull Vegeta back into her arms.
"I said stop it," Vegeta shouts spinning around to face Lucy again. She has returned to her normal appearance now and is giggling a little.
"Now, feel ya heart rate," She instructs, lifting Vegeta's hand to his chest. Vegeta feels as though there is a drum and bass rave happening inside his chest.
"I can feel my heart rate," He yells, yanking his hand away from her.
"One, that was a little different to just him getting a boner, Two, it's only because of these silly side effects and three, if you even do that again I swear I will destroy you," He says crossly, wiping her spit from his lips.
"That was disgusting" He says, though really, he quite enjoyed it, he just wishes it were actually Goku and not just a copy of him.
"How many times do I 'ave to tell ya that wanting him is not a side effect, I emailed ya the list didn't ya read it?" She asks, shaking her head in disbelief.
"No, I did not," Vegeta snaps, still waiting for his heart rate to slow.
"I've got a copy of it in my office somewhere, come on let's go," She mutters and clicks her fingers. The room melts away from around them and for a couple of seconds they are surrounded by a fiery inferno, filled with the sounds of a thousand screaming people. Then before Vegeta can even cringe they're in Lucy's office.
"What the hell was that place?" He asks wiping the sweat from his forehead, he was only there for a second but the intense heat was nearly too much to bear.
"Oh, sorry luvvie, I keep forgetting you are a mortal, shame really, that must have been pretty unpleasant for you, that was hell," She explains.
"That's not how I remember hell," He moans, sitting down in the red leather chair.
"There are many different levels of hell Hun, I'd love to show you them all one day," She says conjuring up a red chair on the other side of the desk and sitting down in it, pulling a drawer open as she does.
"Err, thanks for the offer, but for some reason visiting all the levels of hell doesn't seem that appealing to me, I'm not Dante, I think I'll pass," Vegeta snides.
"Suit yaself, now where is that list?" Lucy wonders, rummaging through the full drawer. Vegeta watches on as sheets of paper and pens and clips fall from the draw all landing on the floor or floating across the room, it's amazing Lucy can get any work done in an office like this.
"Why don't you clean your office?" Vegeta asks, before Lucy has the chance to answer the door flies open and Gabe storms in.
"What the hell are you doing?" He shouts before realising that Vegeta is here.
"Do you think I haven't been watching you? Around that mortal," He looks to his left and sees Vegeta sitting in the chair looking up at him, unimpressed.
"Ew, you brought it here? You know you're not supposed to do that right? Mortals aren't allowed here after their quest has been given!"
"Yeah, alright, Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes, it's not as though you've never broken a rule in ya life, I just brung him so I could give him the list of side effects," Lucy explains.
"And what about your little shape shifting shenanigans earlier?"
"I were just proving a point," She says standing up.
"Liar," Gabe shouts back.
"Don't you dare call me a liar." Lucy bellows, the ends of her hair starting to burn. Vegeta looks away, he really doesn't want to see her frightening transformation again.
"Liar liar hair's on fire, you just turned into Goku so you could get you filthy little lips on Vegetable,"
"His name is Vegeta, and actually Gabe I was helping him, you're just jealous 'cause ya wanna put your grubby lips on him," She yells back, folding her arms angrily across her chest.
"I DO NOT!" He shouts back.
Vegeta doesn't know where to look, it's awkward being stuck in a room with a demon and what appears to be an angel screaming at each other about who wants to kiss you. He sits silently and hopes something happens to shut them up soon.
"YOUR WELL JEALOUS 'CAUSE I KISSED HIM!" Lucy shouts, coming around the desk to get in Gabe's face.
"Oh please, like I'd be jealous, you had to look like Goku before he would even look at you, it's pathetic," Gabe sneers nastily.
"FUCK YOU!" She cries and is about to physically remove him from her office when a deep booming voice rings out.
"What the hell is going on in here?"
Both Gabe and Lucy fall instantly silent as a large man enters the room.
"Hello Azazel, nothing is going on," Lucy mutters quietly, smiling as though she were innocent.
"Gabriel? Why are you down here? What would your father say if he knew you were hanging out with demons in hell?"
"He would be cross," Gabriel answers in a small voice.
"You're damn right he would be cross. What is all the shouting about?"
"Nothing Azazel, just a small disagreement. We'll keep it down now, sorry," Lucy says sounding very sincere.
"Make sure you do," Azazel Says finally and turns to leave, just as he is about to exit, he notices Vegeta sitting quietly in the red chair.
"Who's this? A mortal?" He sounds angry already.
"Ha-ha no, no of course he's not a mortal, ha-ha..." Both Lucy and Gabe laugh awkwardly.
"This is Vagus, he is the new demon of… Lust," Lucy lies quickly, wishing something other than lust had come out of her mouth.
"Really? what happened to Asmodeus?" Azazel asked, looking worried. He and Asmodeus were supposed to be having lunch together today, and it was Asmodeus' turn to pay, it would be just like him to go and retire right before it was his turn to foot the bill.
"Oh, he's fine, nothing to worry about, it's just that there is so much lust around here that Lucifer felt Asmodeus could use some help to deal with all the lust," Gabe interjects, looking pointedly at Lucy each time he says the word lust.
"Oh, nice to meet you Vagus," Azazel calls politely as he shoots the other two a deadly glare and leaves.
"Thanks, you too," Vegeta calls back and waves.
"Well, that were close, weren't it?" Lucy giggles.
"Too bloody close," Gabe giggles back both with massive grins, you would never guess they were just about ready to kill each other mere minutes ago. Vegeta wonders if all angels and demons are as insane as these two or did he just get the raw deal and end up meeting the craziest ones. Lucy goes back to her desk and continues looking for the list.
"Vegeta, this is Gabe, he's a friend o' mine. Excuse our little tiff, happens all the time," She explains with an apologetic smile.
"Lucy, please use my proper title when introducing me to a mortal,"
"Oh, sorry. Vegeta this is the angel Gabriel, angelic messenger," Lucy says in her most news readers' voice, gesturing to Gabe.
"Hi," Vegeta answers lifting one eyebrow.
"Charmed I'm sure" Gabriel says, over dramatic as ever, "Anyway, I can't hang around here talking to the likes of you two all day, I've got a butt load of work to do plus I don't want Azazel to come back and find me still here. Delighted to meet you Vegeta, if you ever want to know what heaven feels like, give me a call," He purrs with a wink before vanishing, leaving nothing but white glitter behind.
"What… What did he mean by that?" Vegeta stutters.
"Ha-ha, ignore him, he's a wind up," Lucy giggles, silently swearing that she was gonna give Gabe a slap later for that one.
"And what did he mean when he said you only turned into Kakarot so you could kiss me?" Vegeta has no clue what is going on here, he just knows he feels very uncomfortable suddenly.
"I told ya, he's a wind up. He's just trying to put ya off ya game. Don't pay him any mind. So, what's ya next move with kakadingdong?"
"Kakarot, I'm not sure. I suppose I'll take him on another date, it seems to be working so far."
"Where ya gon take 'im?"
"I don't know yet, I'll Google some ideas, the internet is full of romantic dates."
"No, no, no ya can't rely on Google, ya need t' make it more personal now. Take him for a picnic in the place ya first met, now that's romance. Take him dancing, get real close to 'im. You gotta up ya game bubs. Take him here, he'll love it," She writes an address down on the back of her business card and hands it to Vegeta
"It's a beautiful little place, lively, friendly and the music is so hot he won't be able to resist swaying along with ya, and if watching ya dance don't make him fall for ya then I dunno what will."
Vegeta studies the card in his hand. There is no name or anything, just an address, he'll try it out, what's the worst that can happen? He slides the card into his pocket. He likes the idea of taking Goku to the place they first met as well, it's a long track up a mountain, maybe they could walk there instead of flying just to make things more interesting. The battle they had on their first encounter was epic and left both of them nearly dead. Vegeta can't help but smile at the memory. Goku was amazing that day, back then he was a whole lot weaker than Vegeta but no matter how hard Vegeta hit him he just wouldn't die. Vegeta knew from that first day that Goku was destined for great things, he would become one of the strongest warriors known, and he did. Goku has far surpassed Vegeta in strength now, much to Vegeta's annoyance. The prince smiles fondly as he thinks about Goku, Lucy notices, but she doesn't point it out.
"Here, I found the list," She hands him a sheet of paper, "Give it a read, it's good to know," She instructs him.
"Okay, I will." Vegeta agrees.
"Right. Let me take you home the less scenic route," She giggles and clicks her fingers. The office fades away and this time is replaced by a dark grey swirling landscape, it feels suffocatingly empty and stretches on for eternity, an endless nothing, this is how Vegeta remembers hell. He would take the fiery inferno over this any day. His body shivers and he is massively relieved when his own bedroom morphs into existence.
"God, I hate that place, don't take me there ever again," He snaps.
"Oh, sorry, hun, I forgot that's where ya was before. Right, I'll see ya later, I've got a ton of paperwork to get on with, don't forget to read that list, yeah?" She reminds him, then vanishes.
Vegeta sighs and drops down onto the bed. It's been a strange and hectic day. First things first he needs to text Goku, make sure there's no weirdness between them. He pulls his phone out.
*Hey Kakarot, would you still like to see me tomorrow? * He asks, trying to sound normal.
*Yeah, I'd love to. Where are we going? * Is Goku's almost instant reply.
*How does hiking up the mountain to where we first met sound?, we can have a stupid picnic then re-enact our first battle. You'll have to go easy on me though* That last line almost killed Vegeta to write but he knew he had to be extra careful with his body so it was a necessity that Goku be gentle with him.
*That sounds swell, I'll bring food, and sure I'll be careful with you. Are you okay? It's not like you to want me to go easy on you. * Goku texts back, feeling concerned.
*I'm fine? Why wouldn't I be? I've just not been 100% recently, nothing to concern yourself with* Vegeta answers hoping that Goku doesn't ask him to elaborate because he can't be bothered to think up any lies at the moment. Goku doesn't ask anything else so Vegeta throws his phone on the dresser and digs the side effects list from his pocket. He rests his head on the soft pillow and starts to read, he doesn't even get halfway through before he falls asleep, the list resting on his face.
Bulma hasn't stopped all day, she's working on a big project that could change the world. It's past midnight and she's finally taking herself off to bed. She pushes the door of her huge bedroom open and sees her husband laying on the bed, fast asleep with a sheet of paper over his face. Awe, he looks so cute. She hopes he wasn't waiting for her. She feels a little bad for how much she has been neglecting him lately, she just hasn't had the time for him since she started this project, come to think of it, she has hardly seen him at all. She promises herself that she will at least have dinner with him one day this week, that's the least she can do after he has been so understanding. She lifts the sheet of paper from his face and glances at it. The more she reads the more confused she looks.
Side effects of death
Most common
Fluctuating strength
Messed up appetite
Over emotional
Slight change of appearance
Fatigue
Nausea
Less common
Uncontrollable hornyness
Spasms all over body
Shaking
Violent sickness
Dizziness
Rare
Hallucinations
Seizures
Flesh rotting
Change of skin colour
Uncontrollable urge to eat human brains