Chapter 46

The second half of her journey seemed to fly by now that she had an irritating companion. She had only been a little surprised to find him curled up practically on top of her head the next morning. He had dropped his precious totum into her pack and flown on ahead after she had started off. After finding something to eat, he had returned and flown around her head for a while before settling on her shoulder. He chattered in her ear intermittently and she made up her side of the conversation.

She had eventually been right about the road traffic. When they were about a week away from Half Moon Bay there were so many people traveling the same direction she naturally fell in with a large group. It could have been passingly pleasant if it wasn't for the children's unfortunate infatuation with the lemur. He, equally unfortunately, seemed to bask in the attention. Considering he had been alone for more than a year, she thought he must have been even more lonely than she was. It was almost painful, but she endured the clamouring children to keep her only friend.

Children, it turned out, were even more difficult than their parents. Where an adult, even a peasant, had an understanding of social cues, filters and niceties, children had no notion of these things. They were more like herself in that way and it made for uncomfortable conversations. It didn't help that she hadn't been able to come up with something to call the lemur. They were not impressed with her declaration that she didn't know the animals name and simply referred to him as 'annoying berry thief.' Children were mean too. She rather thought an adult would keep certain observations to themselves, even if she hadn't ever done that herself. Though, she was only 16, only just now an adult. She didn't think she would point out severe haircuts or frigid dispositions to strangers anymore. Probably not anyway.

After several days with them, the children invited her to join them in their evening game. It was some Earth Kingdom game that involved kicking a ball into goals. They explained the rules and she thought it sounded easy enough. The lemur chattered excitedly and flew around them as they formed teams and set themselves up but Azula was a little nervous. Thanks to the past year of therapy, she was acutely aware of her deeply ingrained need to win at everything she did. She didn't know what would happen if she lost, if she wasn't perfect at something. When the ball thumped in front of her the first time though, she decided not to worry about it and to try and enjoy herself.

It started out well. Running back and forth, shouting with the children and focusing on the leather ball lit something up in her she hadn't realized she'd missed. As it turned out though, this was just not her sport. Despite being much older, the other children had more experience at the game. The longer it went on the more frustrated she became. When she got close to scoring, small boys would dart around her and kick the ball away from her. After the other team had scored passed her for the third time, she growled and kicked at the dirt. It had taken everything in her not to light the ball on fire. She was so unreasonably angry. Not picking up on her emotions, the children had continued to play. Angry tears burned her eyes as their playful banter whipped around her.

Azula felt so helpless to stop her anger from consuming her. All she wanted to do was burn everything as though it could stop it offending her. She couldn't reveal herself though, she had to get to her brother. So she stood, fists clenched and jaw tight, as the children ran and shouted completely oblivious to her plight. Not until he was clapping his hands on her cheeks did she notice the lemur had landed on her shoulder. His soft, padded hands prodded her until she blinked and looked at him.

"I'm so angry, why can't I do this? It's so stupid! I should be able to do this!" Azula had no doubt she looked ridiculous whispering to the animal but she didn't care. For his part, he tugged on her hair and chittered consolingly. She took a deep breath, held it for the count of seven and exhaled slowly.

"Hey lady! Kick it to me! Here! I'm open lady, I'm open!"

The hard leather ball had landed at her feet. Clenching her jaw again, she kicked as hard as she could towards the voice. She could do this. She could fail at a children's game without completely losing it. Excited chirping circled her head as the lemur flew around her. It didn't last much longer and her team did in fact lose. Observing the other children, she took her cue from them. Smiles and laughter and playful teasing after a failure felt completely wrong to Azula. She tried for a smile she was sure looked more like a grimace and forced a laugh as she made her way back to her bedroll.

As she lay awake that night, staring up at the stars, Azula was proud of herself. It had been a close thing, but she had managed it. If she thought about it too hard it seemed silly and inconsequential. It was just a game of ball with children after all. For her though that children's game was a big deal. She had been absolutely abysmal at it, her team had lost, and she had been able to keep her cool. Granted, she had some help from her flying furry friend but she still counted it as a victory. As if summoned by her thought, the lemur descended from wherever he had been and plopped onto her lap. He chirped as she stroked his soft ears.

"Thanks for earlier, I'm sure I could have handled it by myself but...you helped. So thanks."

The furry little fruit thief made a sound like a purr and curled up to sleep beside her.

oOoOoOoOoOo

At last, after endless walking and blisters, they reached the Ferry port at Half Moon Bay. The papers King Bumi had provided her got her on the ship and on her way. It took two days to reach the city gates from the port town and her papers got her on a train straight to the gates of the middle ring. The lemur stayed tucked into Azula's outer tunic on the train and chattered softly from his hiding spot. She didn't realize she was anxiously rubbing his head perhaps a little too hard until he nipped her hand.

"Ouch! Hey you furry little…" Azula stopped abruptly when she remembered the animal was hidden and the other passengers had started to look at her oddly. Straightening in her seat, she turned her face so her mouth was right next to his head under the collar of her tunic. "Sorry, I guess I've been ignoring my anxiety about meeting my brother again until now. He might kill me. I, I don't want to die yet." A fuzzy paw poked out above her collar and patted her cheek. No one was looking at her anymore, there were enough people on the train that her whispered confession went unnoticed. "Remember the plan, ya? If it looks like they're about to attack me, pop up and make sure they see you. If you're my friend I can't be all bad right?"

He only chattered in response as the train came to a stop. Azula took a deep breath and strode from the stone car with as much confidence as she could muster. It was now or never. She could do this.

King Bumi had given her the name and approximate location of the Jasmine Dragon. With directions from a few upper class citizens clearly disgusted by her dirt stained traveler's clothes, she found it. Standing outside, across the street, everything around her seemed to slow. Her chest ached to breathe and the only sound was the blood rushing in her ears.

Then she saw him.

He was walking along the street towards the tea shop. His hair was longer than she'd ever seen it, brushing his shoulders and half pulled back. When he turned his head she could see a strand of blue and white beads hanging beside the burned side of his face. He was tan too, as though he spent hours a day in the sun. She had a fleeting thought about Fire Nation princes looking like water tribe peasants but then he laughed at something and suddenly the world around her started again.

Beside him was another long haired man she instantly recognized as the Avatar's water tribe friend. They were both dressed in dark greens and blacks, leather belts and bare shoulders. As people pushed passed her, she couldn't help but notice how happy Zuko looked. Seeing them together she remembered why she was there and her breathing came back in a painful rush. How quickly would his laughing face turn furious when he saw her?

Zuko and the water tribe man were still laughing when they ducked into the tea shop. Oh Agni this was it. Her heart was racing and her palms were sweaty. The lemur must have seen them too because he was chirping excitedly and tugging at her clothes in an effort to get her to move.

"Ok, ok. Remember, you're my shield. Ok… let's go."

Azula took a breath, steeled herself and stepped into the street. Every step brought her closer to what could very well be her death. She thought of her mother and how much faith she had in her. If only she was here with her this would be so much less likely to end in her death. Hand on the door, she slipped inside.

There were several people in the tea shop so no one noticed a travel worn stranger. Claiming a seat near the exit, Azula watched her brother. He and the water tribe man had stopped at a table near the back of the shop to talk to an old woman. There was some gesturing and more laughter before a shout of "Look its daddy!" drew her attention. Katara had come from the back of the shop, her long hair pulled up with a white hair comb, wearing a flattering green dress and apron. Azula felt her heart skip when she saw the child in her arms.

Dark curls stuck up at odd angles on a tiny head. A green ribbon wound around ending in a bow on the baby's forehead. Her skin, for she was clearly a girl, was fairer than her mother's but not as pale as Zuko's. A daughter. Azula allowed herself a small harsh laugh. At least her mother would have another little girl to dote on when she was dead.

"We missed you daddy! Guess what we learned to do today!"

Zuko scooped his daughter up from his wife's arms and kissed her round cheeks. The little girl let out a squeal of delight when he tickled her sides. Azula had never seen such a radiant and happy look on her brothers face as he laughed with his daughter. Her heart ached at the sight. She couldn't be sure of course, but she doubted her own father had ever loved her like that.

"What has my brilliant niece learned today sis? Is my little moose lion freezing water yet?"

Katara laughed at his baby tone and reached out to take her baby back. She knelt down and plopped the girl on the floor. Azula was confused for a moment. Then Zuko and Katara's brother both knelt as well and exclaimed over the little girl.

"Look at how big you're getting! Sitting up all by herself." Zuko picked her up and kissed her face again. "My smart little turtle duck!"

Azula felt the tears on her face before she could stop them. After growing up the way they had, after everything he had been through, Zuko was so happy. He had a family that truly loved him. Azula wished, not for the first time, that their lives could have been swapped. She wiped her face and marveled at her niece a moment longer before the impatient lemur crawled from her tunic and tugged at her again.

She whispered harshly to him. "Are you crazy? I can't do this now, not when his baby is here. He'll get all protective and kill me straight away."

The animal didn't seem to care. He chattered and tugged and nearly knocked the table over. When he seemed to realize she wasn't budging, he let go of her and flew over to his friends directly.

"Traitor!" she hissed as she watched him go, all hope of convincing them lost.

"What the.. Momo?! Momo! It is you!"

So that was his name.

Momo had landed on the water tribe man's head and was flitting excitedly between him and Katara and Zuko. They were all of them teary eyed.

"Where did you come from buddy? Oh man we've missed you, even Zuko!" The water tribe man, she thought she heard her brother call Sokka, was hugging the flying lemur and wiping his eyes. "I'm sorry we left you buddy, we didn't mean to."

Katara, holding the baby again, approached Momo.

"Look Kya, this is mommy and daddy's friend Momo. We missed him so much. Momo, this is Kya." The aforementioned Momo leaned towards the baby and reached out to pat her head. Only Zuko seemed to still be wondering how he had found them. He was looking around the shop with wary eyes. Azula ducked her head behind the potted plant on her table. Just as she had made up her mind to slip out, she heard a familiar voice.

"Nephew, welcome back. How was your work this fine day? Ah, who is this?"

Uncle Iroh. Azula peeked around the plant to see him come out of the back. Behind him, a short girl with fringe covering her face followed. Warning bells went off in Azula's head but nearly a year out of practice had made her slow. Before she even realized what was happening, stone from the floor had risen up and encased her legs to the knee. She was a tangle of limbs as the floor shifted around her and drug her across the shop.

"Oh my shop!" Iroh cried out as the dust settled around them. Azula coughed and wiped her hair from her face, her ears putt ringing in the foreboding silence. Taking what might be her last breath, Azula thought one last time of her mother and opened her eyes.

They all stood around her looking equally confused and afraid. Katara clutched little Kya to her chest and Zuko moved to stand in front of them. Surprisingly, it was Sokka that spoke first.

"Azula?"