Chapter 48
Katara was furious. If it had been entirely up to her Azula would have been killed before she had the chance to speak. It wasn't like her to be so cold hearted she knew, but the moment she laid eyes on Azula her protective instincts had kicked in and she knew she had it in her.
Then there had been the letter from Zuko's mother. She didn't know what to make of that. If it was at all true it complicated things. Was it even possible that someone as warped as Azula could be rehabilitated? Katara seriously doubted it. That meant that as long as she was here, she was a threat.
Thankfully Sokka had left her with Sitka and Natuk and gone to their father's. She didn't think she could take much more of his commentary on the subject. He was all for killing Azula no matter what her mother may or may not have said. Knowing Zuko wasn't likely to do so, at least not yet, her brothers opinionated bluster only annoyed her.
When she had reached her friends apartment, they had instantly jumped up at her obvious distress.
"Katara! What is it? Has something happened? Where is Zuko?"
Katara sighed and shook her head, shifting Kya in her arms.
"He is still with his Uncle, I need to stay here for a while. Can I put Kya down in your bed?"
Sitka nodded emphatically as Katara disappeared into their room. Once Kya was asleep, she shuffled back to the main room and accepted tea from her friend. She was still fuming over how Zuko had ordered her out of the tea shop, but she supposed she ought to tell Sitka and Natuk what had happened.
"I'm sorry for storming in here so late. Something has happened. Azula, Zuko's sister showed up in Iroh's tea shop today, just after Zuko and Sokka got there."
Natuk looked as though he were trying to recall something before he interjected.
"Azula, didn't she nearly kill Zuko when you both faced her on the day of Sozin's comet? What is she doing here? I thought he sent her to a place for people with sick minds."
Taking a sip of her tea and sinking onto a cushion beside the table, Katara nodded.
"Yes well apparently with the help of the mind healers and shockingly, Zuko and Azula's mother, she has changed so much King Bumi thought it would be hilarious to send her here alone. She had a letter from their mother and claims she wants to help Zuko kill their father."
Katara laughed harshly as she finished her tea and slammed the glass down on the table.
"I don't know what he decided to do with her or what other information he got from her because he ordered me to leave. Like, some vassal or servant, 'take Kya and leave.' What if she decided to attack or escape? What if he needed my help like the last time and I'm not there? How could he just dismiss me like that?"
Her voice had risen several octaves as her anger boiled over. Natuk and Sitka shared a concerned look.
"I'm sure he was only thinking about getting the pair of you, especially Kya, away from his sister. If she is as dangerous as he's said, he was probably panicking."
Katara groaned.
"Like I wasn't? The last time he faced his sister he almost died and would have if it wasn't for me. I don't understand why he would send me away like that. Someone else could have taken Kya. I hate that he thinks he can tell me what to do!"
After having a silent conversation with his wife, Natuk ran his hand along his chin and sighed.
"Katara, if my son was threatened, there is no one I would want with him more than his mother. Even before you taught her to use her bending to fight, who else would be as fierce a protector as a mother? Nevermind that Zuko was likely worried for you as well. It doesn't matter that you could hold your own, you are his wife, the mother of his daughter. He knows what it is to lose a mother, for that matter, so do you." Katara's anger fizzled at the mention of her mother. "As to the ordering, I am certain he was trying very hard to contain his panic for you and the natural desire to eliminate the perceived threat. Have you never snapped at your loved ones in a tense moment?"
Katara hung her head and sighed. Natuk was right. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she realized how unreasonable she was being. Why was she so angry really? It had felt so wrong to be commanded to do something by Zuko. He had only ever treated her with the respect of an equal, she was his partner.
Sitka reached across the table to take her hand and picked up where her husband left off.
"You know Katara, when he succeeds in defeating his father, Zuko will be Fire Lord. The ruler of a nation. Perhaps the reason you are so upset is that you worry what your role will be as his wife in that context. Will he still treat you as he always has or will that change when he suddenly has the power of the Fire Lord?"
She was thoughtful for a long moment. Sitka, perceptive woman that she was, was right. Katara had avoided thinking about what their lives would be like after the war was over. It was so far away and they still had a war to fight. Any time she thought about it she remembered how cold and austere she had found the Fire Nation palace. Did a Fire Lady have any role other than ornamental? Would it be her lot to be seen and not heard, given daily directives and tasks? Perhaps it was time to ask her husband what he was expecting.
Glancing out the window, Katara noted how dark it was getting. If Zuko didn't get back soon he would be stuck in the middle ring until morning. Pinching the bridge of her nose and groaning softly, Katara conceded to her friends that she needed to talk to her husband. Pushing up from the low table, she walked over to lean against the open door. The streets weren't terribly busy so it would be easy to see Zuko when he got close.
Finally, just before the sky darkened completely, Zuko rounded the corner and jogged to where she stood. She was so relieved that he'd made it back, she forgot her worries and threw her arms around him.
"I was starting to worry. About Azula, or if you'd make it back before they closed the gates."
Zuko held her tight, burying his face in her neck and kissing his way up to he lips. Desperation and anxiety evident in the firmness of his kiss and tilt of his frown.
"Agni, when I realized it was her I was so afraid for you and Kya. Where is she?"
"Inside, she's asleep. What happened after I left? Are you ready to go home?"
Zuko took her hand and headed in, going straight for his daughter.
"Ya I am, I'm exhausted Katara. Can we get Kya home and talk about it there?" Katara smiled and nodded as she followed him to the bedroom.
As soon as he saw her, Zuko scooped the girl into his arms and pressed his cheek against her tiny head. The tension bled from his shoulders almost instantly as he let out a long breath and kissed her. He stood there, reveling in the weight of her for several minutes before turning to Katara with a sad smile.
"Let's go home."
Holding her close, he reminded Natuk about the Lotus meeting in the morning and bid them goodnight. As they walked, Katara watched Zuko cling to their daughter, her tiny head tucked under his chin. She thought briefly how nice it was that they lived so close to their friends.
Once Kya was tucked into her cot beside their bed, Zuko sat heavily beside Katara. Sighing, he rested his elbows on his knees and hung his head.
"I'm sorry Katara."
Katara leaned forward on her elbows too and waited expectantly.
"I'm sorry I ordered you out of the tea shop like that, I know you probably hated that. I just… didn't know what else to do. All I could think was getting her out of there. I was so overwhelmed with so many things I've been ignoring for so long. My mother, my… my father."
The look in his eyes when he finally sat up and took her hand broke her heart, replacing any lingering upset with a weary sadness.
"We have to go back soon. I need to face my father and end this war. If what Azula says is true, and I think that part might be at least, my people are suffering Katara. He is taxing them to starvation, closing hospitals and abandoning war orphans to the streets. I have to help them."
Katara reached her free hand up to cup his face.
"We've lived every day since the comet knowing this was coming Zuko." She paused to run her thumb across his cheek and kiss him softly. "I was angry earlier, after you sent us away. I hated the way you just... did it without a thought like it was the most normal thing in the world to order me around. And what if you had needed me? I hated being dismissed. Of course, the more I thought about it I remembered how you looked to me before you made any decision, how you shared the letter with me first. I thought about how you've always treated me like your partner, an equal. Seeing Azula, it reminded me that someday soon you will be the Fire Lord. I guess, I was really upset because deep down I wondered if that was going to be my life in the Fire Nation. Will you still care about my opinion when you're Fire Lord? We haven't ever really talked about what will happen after."
Zuko looked hurt by her question at first, but understanding flooded his face. He shook his head slowly and brought her hand to his lips.
"Of course I will Katara. You are my wife, my partner. I will always seek your counsel, especially when something directly impacts our family. Yes, there will be times when I will tell you what to do. When we are at council, or in front of people outside of our friends and family, I won't have the luxury of asking and discussing with you beforehand. But you should know that we will always be able to talk about anything when we are alone. You can always come to me with anything Katara. I love you so much, and I wouldn't have pursued you if I didn't think you would be a good Fire Lady."
Katara smiled at him and kissed him fiercely then. She knew it wouldn't be easy for them but she chose not to doubt him. When he pulled back he was smiling but it didn't reach his eyes.
"None of that matters though if we can't defeat my father. Aang failed because…" He sighed. His hair had come loose and he ran a frustrated hand through the tangled locks. "The whole reason we're in this mess is because he couldn't kill him." Standing, Zuko went to their window as he continued. "What if, what if we're there and he's nearly beat and all it would take is a killing blow and I can't do it? For as evil as he is, for all that he's done to me, he is still my father. I thought I was ready to kill Azula today because of Kya. If she hadn't been there I don't think I would have been able to do it."
Zuko looked at her, conflict and pain in his beautiful golden eyes. How could she, how could any of them expect him to kill his own father so easily? She knew the kind of man he was. In the end he would do it because he had to, but the guilt would eat at him the rest of his life. He was remarkably like Aang that way. Certainly no pacifist, but honorable to his grave. There was very little honor in patricide. Even if his father was doing his best to destroy his nation and starve his people.
Katara stood and went to him, meeting her husbands distressed gaze with a steady one.
"Your father is running his people into the ground. Those people, your people, they will be my people too, Zuko. They are suffering and we have a duty to protect them from your father. As their would-be Fire Lady, isn't it my job too? I will kill Ozai if you cannot."
Zuko frowned and shook his head, his knuckles white where he gripped her shoulders.
"No, no I can't ask you to do that…"
She cut him off with a smile and a hand on his cheek.
"You don't have to ask Zuko. Ozai is nothing to me but a tyrant and a murderer that threatens my family and my people. You should not have to bear the weight of his death alone. I am your wife, we are one. It is my responsibility to help you and support you. Let me help you carry this burden Zuko."
His hands slid up her shoulders to cup her face, his forehead pressed to hers.
"I love you Katara, so, so much." He kissed her hard, his lips slanting against hers until they were both gasping for breath. "I don't… I don't think I could do this without you."
"Yes you could, you are strong enough all on your own. I just make it easier is all."
He smiled again, honestly this time, and reached down to pull her hips flush against him. Katara laughed softly and tugged on his tunic and walked them backwards until they fell into their bed. They took their time, savoring each other as they made love, the rawness of their emotions intensifying every sensation.
Afterwards as they clung to one another, sweaty and sated, Katara thought again about their future.
"Everything is going to change now isn't it?"
"Yes." he answered as he kissed her forehead. "Yes it will."