Pontiac, Illinois.
Was I really gonna go through with this?. Was I really gonna reunite with my baby brother knowing exactly how he would react seeing his long thought dead sister up above ground especially after seeing how Bobby and Dean reacted?.
By the time me, Dean and Bobby had arrived at the place where Sam is meant to be, Dean having traced his whereabouts to some hotel in Pontiac, my anger and fear over his involvement in my return had seeped away a little. Now I was mostly worried about how he'd act seeing me again.
I don't regret doing what I did those four months ago, making that deal with that Crossroads demon to bring Sammy back, the red-eyed bastard gifting me just the one year instead of the decade they always give people selling their souls in exchange for their hearts desires. As angry or I guess that should be furious as Dean had been when he'd found out, I know he would have done the exact same thing I did.
And I would do it again if I could, my brothers always meaning more to me then my own worthless life does. The worse thing you could go through is losing someone you love, somebody younger then you. And i'd already lost too many people I care about, far too many to count.
The door of the room opens almost straight away, Dean having knocked, the person answering his knocks definitely not our brother, being more of the female kind, clad in not much at all, her long dark hair loose, trailing around your shoulders. Is this really what Sammy has been doing for the past couple of months, feeling my anger begin to build again.
"So where is it?," she asks, looking between the three of us.
"Where's what?," Dean asks.
"The pizza that takes three of you to deliver."
"Sorry, we must have the wrong...room," I say, my voice dying out the instant I see someone walk into view, the anger I was feeling nearly vanishing altogether, that emotion getting replaced very quickly by fear, my hear dropping into my belly like a rock.
It feels like an eternity since I've seen him making me long to run to him, wrap my arms around him, feel how excessively taller he is then I am, feel his hair tickle my face. But I force myself to resist that urge seeing the shocked look on his face, his hazel eyes locking with my green ones.
"H...hey, Sammy. Long...long time, no see," I say quietly starting to walk towards him, moving my hands out in front of me, moving to touch him, to try and convince myself all over again that all of this is real and not a hallucination, something I'd been doing since I'd woken up in my own grave.
Suddenly, I get shoved up against the wall hard and roughly, making me cry out, a blade getting thrust towards me, his reaction far from a surprise, Dean grabbing him around the chest, yanking him away from me.
"WHO ARE YOU?," he shouts, struggling.
"You know who I am, Sam. It's me."
"Like you didn't do this?," Dean asks, raising his voice.
"Did what?," Sam yells.
"It's her, it's her. Both me and your brother have been through this already. It's really her," Bobby says, loudly and harshly, his hand pulling the knife out of Sam's possession.
"W...what?."
"Sammy...It's me, I swear," I whisper moving away from the wall, walking towards him slowly, a little scared he still didn't believe me.
And I end up wrapped up in his arms, my own wrapping around his waist, feeling him tremble a little against me, that familiar feeling of his hair tickling my face making it impossible to prevent the sob from breaking loose, breaking down all over again.
-x-
"So tell me, what'd it cost?," Dean asks looking down at Sam, him sat on the bed putting his shoes on, doing up the laces.
"The girl?. I don't pay, Dean."
"Not funny, Samuel. You know damn well what he means. So...what did it cost, huh?. Your soul?. Or was it something worse?," I ask, crossing my arms over my chest, narrowing my eyes at him.
"What?. You think I made a deal?."
"That's exactly what we think," Bobby answers.
"Well, I didn't."
"Don't you even think about lying to us," Dean says, a little angrily.
"I'm not lying."
"So what, now i'm off the hook and you're on, is that it?. You're some demon's bitch boy?. I didn't want to be saved like this, dammit!. Just tell the fuckin' truth, okay?," I shout, storming over to him, stopping a few inches away from where he's standing having gotten up off the bed.
"Look, I tried everything, that's the truth. I tried opening the devil's gate. Hell, I tried to bargain, AJ, but no demon would deal, all right?. You were rotting in hell for months, for months and I couldn't stop it. So I'm sorry. It wasn't me, all right?. Alex, I'm sorry."
"It's...It's okay, Sam. You don't need to apologise, I believe you."
"Yeah, me too. I'm sorry, Sammy," Dean sighs, Sam nodding at him.
"Don't get me wrong, I am gladdened Sam's soul remains intact, but...it does raise a sticky question," Bobby says.
"If he didn't pull me out, then what did?," I nod, my hand moving to cover my locket, again trying to calm my racing heart.
-x-
"Okay, so what were you doing around here if you weren't digging me out of my grave?," I ask, looking up at Sam, taking the beer bottle off him.
"Well, once I figured out I couldn't save you, ummm, I started hunting down Lilith, trying to get some payback," Sam says sitting down next to me, taking the bottle back off me seeing I'm struggling, pulling the top off then handing it back to me making me smirk.
"All by yourself?. Who do you think you are, your old man?," Bobby asks.
"Yeah, I'm sorry, Bobby. I should have called. I was pretty messed up."
"Oh, yeah. I really feel your pain," Dean retorts, his fingers picking up the strap of a bra, my hand snatching it off him, rolling my eyes.
"Anyways, I was tracking these demons out of Tennessee and out of nowhere, they took a left, booked up here."
"When?," I ask, taking a long sip of my beer.
"Yesterday morning."
"When I busted out."
"You think these demons are here cause of you?," Bobby asks, looking at me.
"But why?," Sam asks.
"I don't know. But some...thing drags me out of the pit, now this. It's gotta be connected somehow," I shrug, taking another sip.
"How are you feeling anyway?," Bobby asks.
"What's that supposed to mean, Doc?."
"I mean do you feel like yourself?. Anything strange or different?."
"Besides everyone I love and trust thinking my eyes are suddenly gonna turn black?. For God's sake, it's me, all right?."
"Yeah, well, no demon's letting you loose out of the goodness of their hearts. They've gotta have something nasty planned."
"Well, I feel fine, okay?."
"We don't know what they're planning. We got a pile of questions and no shovel. We need help," Sam says.
"I know a psychic, a few hours from here. Something this big, maybe she's heard the other side talking," Bobby explains.
"Hell, yeah, it's worth a shot," Dean replies.
-x-
I can't stop the grin from breaking out on my face watching Bobby get grabbed up in a pretty rough hug by the woman he'd taken us to, some psychic.
"You're a sight for sore eyes," Bobby says, having finally been released.
"So these are the Winchesters then?," she asks, turning her attention to us.
"Sam, Dean, Alex. Pamela Barnes. Best damn psychic in the state."
"Mmm-mmm. Alexandra Winchester. Out of the fire, back in the frying pan, huh?. Makes you a rare individual."
"It...it does?," I mutter, finding it impossible not to feel totally comfortable around her, like I can trust her one hundred percent.
"Come on in," she smiles, letting us inside her house which looks and feels very warm and cosey, the door getting shut behind us.
"So you hear anything?," Bobby asks.
Well, I ouija'd my way through a dozen spirits. No one seems to know who broke your girl out or why."
"So what's next?.
"Seance, I think. See if we can see who did the deed."
"A Seance?. Isn't that a little...dangerous?," I ask, feeling instantly worried that it was the wrong thing to do.
"Don't worry, sweety. I just want to take a sneaky peek, that's all. Like a crystal ball without the crystal," she smiles, giving my arm a squeeze then heading through to the living room.
"I'm game," Dean mutters.
-x-
My fear and worries are now at an all-time high, the living room having been set up to do the Seance, the circular table covered with a black cloth, a depiction of a pentagram in the middle, six little candles in the centre, the rest of the room darkened.
I just can't seem to shake this feeling that whatever it was that raised me wasn't demonic at all, worse that we shouldn't be attempting to make contact with it, that it shouldn't be looked upon by human eyes. Most of all, I'm terrified that Pam could end up getting hurt, even worse that she could end up blinded. But I had to know the truth, no matter what the cost.
"Right. Take each other's hands. AJ, I need to touch something our mystery monster touched," Pam says, looking at me.
I nod, slipping my jacket off then pushing the sleeve of my t-shirt up revealing the handshaped brand burned into my skin not missing the shocked look on Sam's face, her palm moving to cover it.
"Okay. I invoke, conjure and command you, appear unto me before this circle. I invoke, conjure and command you, appear unto me before this circle. I invoke, conjure and command you, appear unto me before this circle," she chants, something weird beginning to happen, the television set near the rear of the room switching on just like what had happened at that gas station, static on the screen, the table starting to shake.
"I invoke, conjure and command...Castiel?. No, sorry, Castiel, I don't scare easy."
"Castiel?. It's...It's name, that not...,"i whisper, feeling that same presence surround me that came to me before, starting to tremble.
"It's whispering to me, warning me to turn back. I conjure and command you, show me your face. I conjure and command you, show me your face. I conjure and command you, show me your face. I conjure and command you, show me your face,"she demands, the table shaking harder and faster, the dull ringing noise increasing in volume and intensity.
And I hear that same deep powerful voice I heard before, unable to understand what was being spoken. But I know if I don't make her stop this then it won't end well.
"Pam, we need to stop this, now," I cry, the table shaking harder.
"I got this. I command you, show me your face. Show me your face now."
The next thing that happens is the flames of the candles shooting up into the air...and Pam letting out an ear piercing scream, her eyes glowing bright white, her body collapsing to the floor, the candles dying out, my own scream replacing hers.
"Call 911," Bobby shouts, Sam running out of the room.
"Oh, God. Oh, God, Pam," I cry leaping up out of my seat running around to her, watching Bobby pick her up off the floor, the skin around her eyes black like she'd been burned really badly.
And I nearly throw up watching her open get eyelids seeing nothing behind them, her eyes gone, having been burned out of her eye sockets somehow, blood running down her face.
I know. Somehow I know what we're dealing with here, part of me knowing all along even though I didn't realise it. It's something I've believed in my whole life, something which shouldn't really exist at all at least not down here on Earth. There's only one being capable of bringing up a human soul from hell, only one who can burn the eyes out of other beings.
Why the hell didn't I see it right from the moment I crawled out of my grave?. What we're dealing with here...is an angel.