"Clarke? Say something, please." Niylah pried, watching the many emotions run across her face.
Sadness and anger, but most of all understanding.
"I should go see my mother." Were her only words as she backed away from the blonde towards the door. "I." she began, but quickly closed her mouth and left.
Niylah stood there unsure of her feelings. Clarke was back, and she may have just pushed her away. Broken her, but what about Octavia. This wasn't fair to her either. Did she care for the brunette as much as she cared for Clarke?
It had been so long since she had felt another woman before Octavia came into her life. She remembers that night so well still, she had been enjoying a few drinks at the bar late one evening, it was quiet at the bar. Niylah had enjoyed the quiet time to herself. She spent most nights thinking of Clarke, hoping she was okay, but Niylah was becoming lonely. Taking care of herself wasn't cutting it anymore. That's when Octavia came barging into the bar. She looked frustrated, probably another heated meeting with her advisors. Niylah was shocked to see that Indra wasn't with her. It seemed Octavia could never get a moment to herself now that everyone looked up to her as their leader.
Stepping through the doors, Octavia immediately spotted the blonde as their eyes met. Niylah gave her a polite smile before turned back to tend to her drink. "May I sit here?" The brunette asked, almost startling the blonde. "Of, course." She smiled.
The two spent a good portion of the evening laughing and venting. Clarke was brought up couple times. Octavia asked if she missed her, and promised once they had gotten out of the bunker, Clarke would be the first they searched for.
"Thank you for that, but I understand that there will be other priorities. It's ok, Octavia." She smiled, placing her hand on the brunettes knee. The sudden sensation sent chills through the brunette as she inhaled sharply. Niylah was taken back a bit, that was not her intention. The two just stared at one another until Niylah politely excused herself. Octavia just nodded as the blonde left the room.
Octavia sat there for a moment, exploring the meaning of the chills she just received before downing her glass, and leaving as well.
Moments later, Niylah heard a soft knock on her door. Unsure who it could be at this hour she quickly tied the robe around her tighter as she opened the door. There stood the brunette, leaning against the door frame. "Hi." She started before standing straight, running a hand through her hair, "I just… You left quickly and I wanted to make sure you were okay." O finished, meeting the blonde's eyes.
"I'm fine, thank you for checking." Niylah simply replied, searching the brunette for further meaning of this visit.
"Good, good."
"Mhm." Niylah hummed, staring at the brunette fidgeting before her. "Are you okay?" she questioned. Octavia released a sigh to the blondes questions. "No." is all she says as she steps into the blondes room, capturing her in a heated kiss. Niylah gasped at the sudden invasion, but soon found herself melting into the kiss as she grabbed the brunette's waist pulling her close. Both woman gasped at the tension. Niylah began to backing further into the room, pulling the brunette with her, just as the back of her legs hit the bed, the blonde pushed the brunette away. "What are we doing?" she breathed out in between pants. The brunette just stared, panting equally as hard. "I don't know." And with that answer, the two continued their ministrations.
A knock startled the blonde from her thoughts. There standing in the door was Indra. "I'm sorry to startle you, I said your name a couple times, but you didn't respond. Octavia would like to have a word with you." Niylah just nodded.
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"Knock knock." Clarke announced as she entered the medical wing. Abbie was lost in reading lab results, that she didn't look up at first. "Yes? What can I help you with?" she finished meeting eyes with her daughters. "Clarke." She spoke, dropping the papers in her hand.
"Hey mom." The blonde smiled.
Abbie slowly stood from her chair, "Is this real? Are you really here right here?"
"It's me, alive and well. I cleared the bunker door. I've missed you so much." Clarke spoke, walking towards her mom, pulling her into an embrace. Abbie couldn't help the sobs that escaped as she hugged her daughter that much tighter. "I thought you were dead."
"I've been getting that a lot." Clarke joked, pulling back from her mom. "The nightblood serum worked. That's what kept me alive."
"It did, you look amazing. God, I'm so happy to see you." Abbie spoke, pulling the blonde into another embrace.
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Niylah sat outside of Octavia's door for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts before entering. She wasn't sure how this conversation was going to go. Releasing a small sigh, she rasped her knuckles against the door. "Come in."
As she pushed the door open, Octavia had her back to her, looking through a folder. Niylah wasn't sure if she should say something or not. She would let O take the lead. "How is Clarke getting settled?" Octavia finally asked, closing the folder.
"I assume well, she should be with her mother right now."
Octavia turned to face the blonde, "That's good. Abbie would have been pleased to see her." Niylah just nodded. "Are you pleased to see her?"
There it was, the million dollar question. "I happy to know she's alive and well." Which was the truth, there was no greater relief than seeing the blonde good and well. Octavia smiled as she moved around the desk, stopping in front of the blonde. "And where does this leave us?" she questioned, reaching for the blonde's hand pulling her close.
"I don't know. She knows, I told her about us." Niylah started, "and she seemed to understand."
Octavia smiled, "Well that's good.. That she understands, but are you okay? I mean I know we aren't exclusive, and you and Clarke had something way before you and I.." she paused, running her thumb across the blondes hand, "but I would understand to if you wanted to go back to her. Don't get me wrong it'll hurt a lot, but I would understand, and respect it." She finished, daring a look at the blonde who seemed torn, and filled with every emotion.
"Thank you, but I don't know how I feel right now. Seeing her again after all these years is surreal, and part of me still cares for her." Octavia quickly looked away, "but, what we have right now is so fresh, and real. I care for you just as much, but still all of this is overwhelming. I don't know… I don't know what I want." She finished, wiping her eyes.
Octavia met hers, and quickly began to brush the blondes tears away. "Hey, it's ok. I understand. You need to take all the time you need to figure this out, I'll still be here no matter what." She finished, pressing a soft kiss to the blondes lips before pulling away. "Now, well need a hunter along with the exploration. Will you come?"
"Of course, I would love the chance to see the world as it is now." Niylah agreed, smiling at the brunette.
"Good, we leave in fifteen. Go grab your gear and meet us by the bunker door." Niylah went to leave as Octavia spoke, "Niy, I meant it when I said I will still be here for you."
"I know." Niylah smiled before opening the door, leaving behind a sad and worried brunette.
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The exploration group gathered in the main room. Several guards, and scouts all geared for the trip. Abbi and Jackson packed with field equipment. Niylah joined the group wit her bow and satchel, immediately meeting Octavia's eyes as she entered the room. The two smiled at one another. As O began explaining the plan the doors swung open and Clarke entered the room. Bearing only what she had on her when she first entered the bunker.
Octavia eyed the woman, "Clarke you should be resting don't you think?"
Clarke met her eyes scoffing at her request, "You guys wont last out there without me with you. Earth isn't how it used to be. New creatures roam the earth now, far more dangerous than before. I know of several spots we should check out for farming, and repopulating." She finished, looking around the room. Stopping when she met Niylah's eyes, her bad girl façade immediately dropping at the sight of the blonde. She quickly looked away. She didn't know Niylah would be coming on this adventure too.
"Of course." Is all Octavia said as she continued with the plans
Finally heading out, the guards cleared the bunker first, scanning the area before everyone else came up. It was well into mid afternoon by now. Everyone was taking in the fresh air, along with the sun hitting their faces. It had been so long, Clarke was the last to climb out as she stood and watched everyone taking in the environment. "Just wait until you see the rest." She spoke as she brushed past the blonde.
Niylah had her eyes closed taking in the feelings around her when she heard Clarke speak, opening her eyes she feels the blonde intentionally brush past. She gets a quick whiff of her scent, making the blonde shiver, as more memories flood her mind.
"Clarke will lead the group, Doctors I want you and Niylah in the middle of the group at all times. Let's go." Octavia ordered as everyone began to move out.
Half way into the march, Clarke met Octavia by her side. Indra noticed the blonde's presence, but was shooed away by the brunette. She knew Clarke wanted to talk to her.
"How long after I was gone did it start?" Clarke finally spoke keeping her eyes forward. Octavia studied the blonde for a moment. "She missed you Clarke, like crazy. There were days she wept for you, she was a complete mess after those doors closed."
Clarkes heart tightened a little, "That doesn't answer my question." She states coldly.
"It was about three years after."
Clarke glanced at the brunette for a moment before turning back to what was ahead of them, "You break her heart, I'll break you." Clarke warned.
Octavia stopped, signaling for the rest of the group to carry on ahead. Niylah eyeing the two as she walked by, as soon as the group was far enough away Octavia stepped forward. "Don't you dare come into my turf and threaten me, I've done nothing but show her love and affection. Everything she needed. She was lonely Clarke, and I. I just developed feelings somewhere along the way. I would never hurt her, Clarke and you know that." She finished, standing inches from the blondes face.
"Why?! Why out of all the thousands of people down there did you have to pick her?" Clarke questioned, clinching her fists.
Scoffing Octavia stepped away, "Seriously, Clarke? You think I just went after her because you were gone? That's not how it works, I'm sorry. I genuinely fell for her, Clarke. So get over yourself." The brunette finished, huffing with anger.
"Well, I feel the same way, she was the only thing that got me through this world for the last six years." She spoke, gesturing to the new world around them, "I never once gave up on seeing her again. Ever since Lexa I wasn't sure I could love someone again, and there Niylah was, but now yet again they've been taken from me." Clarke threw her hands in the air.
"She's not yours to claim, Griffin! And for your information, she and I have decided to cut things off because of you! She needs to figure this out on her own, for herself." O spoke, poking the blonde in the chest.
Clarke just stared at the brunette for a moment, "You're right. I'm sorry, O. I haven't had much time to process this. I was so happy to see her and everyone else, and then she dropped that bomb on me. I just. I don't know, acted out of anger. I'm sorry."
Octavia studied the blonde for a moment before pulling her into a hug. "I understand, its ok. Niylah is a smart woman. She's confused to hell, but she will figure out what she truly wants, and if that's you Clarke, then I will respect it."
Clarke weighed all of her thoughts before nodding. "We need to keep moving if we want to be back before nightfall."
Joining the group, Clarke met Niylah's eyes, she looked worried for the blonde, and sad. Clarke gave her a genuine smile letting her know everything was fine before leading the group further out.
Clarke would fight day and night for the blonde, there was no doubt about that. She just hoped Niylah felt as strong for her still.
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Clarke halted, signaling the same for everyone else, as she crouched down.
"What is it?' Octavia whispered, meeting the blonde by her side.
"It sounds like s Scrapper."
"A what?"
"They dig deep into the ground, bringing up minerals and plantations, but they are very aggressive if disturbed. Tell everyone we need to back up and look for another way around." Just as she said that, she turned back to see another Scrapper at the end of the group staring at the scouts. "Shit." She whispered.
"Clarke, what do we do." Octavia demanded, holding her blade's handle.
"I don't think it knows what its looking at is a threat or not. We need to stay still." She spoke, quickly looking for Niylah, she was off to the side by her mother and Jackson. "Tell them to pass it along that we need to stay still."
Just then a loud screech came from deeper in the forest, startling the scrappers as they took off in the opposite direction, "Bladetooth.." Clarke whispered as foot steps came closer. "O, we need to get everyone back to the bunker, now."
Octavia nodded, just as she was about to give the order, the monster busted out of the trees stopping as it saw the group.
"EVERYONE RUN!" Clarke shouted as everyone scattered, the beast seemed confused on who to chase until its eyes fell onto a certain blonde. "Niylah." Clarke whispered as she took of towards the girl, grabbing her arm as they took off in an opposite direction than the rest, the beast fast on their trail.
"This way." Clarke yelled as she quickly shot in another direction dipping in between trees and vines, not chancing a glance behind in case of it slowing her down. "Just over this hill there's a small shelter, I've hid there before, we should be safe in there."
Gaining a bit of ground on the Bladetooth they reached the shelter, Clarke quickly throwing the door open as she followed the blonde inside, quickly shutting the door and locking it. The shelter was pitch black, but Clark had stashed a few matches and a lantern incase of an emergency.
"Clarke? I can't see, where are you?" Niylah cried out, shaking from the run. She could heard the blonde shuffling around, but couldn't feel her. Finally Clarke lit the lantern, filling the small room with light. Clarke quickly looked at the blonde she was shaking. Removing her jacket, she quickly walked over to the blonde, "Here." She spoke, placing the leather over the woman. "We'll be safe here until it leaves."
"How will we know if its gone? And what about the others?" Niylah questioned, worried for her people.
"They were running towards the bunker, and the monster was coming towards us. I think their all okay. Even O." Clarke finished, looking away.
Niylah sighed as she took steps towards the blonde, "Clarke, are you really that upset?"
"I'm not upset, Niylah. I'm happy that you had someone who could take care of you, and love you. I'm just…. Sad is all. It's okay though."
"Clarke look at me." The blonde ordered, forcing blue eyes to meet hers. "I don't know what I want, but I know that my feelings for you are still there, and still strong. O.. She's an amazing woman, but she wasn't you. She could never be you." She finished, placing her hand against Clarkes cheek.
Clarke leaned in to the blonde's hand, breathing in deeply. "I missed you so much." She whispered, placing her hands around the blonde's waist.
"I never stopped missing you, Clarke." Niylah claimed, bringing the blonde closer, breathing in her scent. "God I missed how you smelled, how you felt."
Clarkes heart was pounding the closer the blonde got. "Niylah?" she spoke, grabbing the blondes attention.
"Hmm?" she hummed
"I really, really want to kiss you right now." Clarke admitted, her voice shaky.
"What's stopping you?" and just like that Clarke pulled the blonde flush against her, capturing her lips in her own. Clarke groaned at the taste of the blonde as they both fought for dominance. Clarkes hands were going wild against the other woman. Moving her assault to her neck, Clarke lifted the blonde as she wrapped her legs around her, carrying her to the near by desk. Gently setting her down, Clarke pulled away to discard her top. Niylah inhaled sharply at the sight of the blonde. Clarke smiled at the affect she still had on the other woman.
Grabbing her hands, Clarke placed them on her breasts, sighing at the sensation. Niylah quickly tightened her legs around the blonde pulling her close again as she caught her in a heated kiss. Squeezing her nipples in the process. Clarke was going wild as she fought against the blondes top, quickly pulling it over her head and tossing it into the darkness.
Clark then picked her up again and walked them to the twin sized bed, softly laying her down. Clarke straddled the blonde, fighting with her pants finally breaking the restraint free.
"Fuck." Niylah moaned as Clarke yanked her pants down. Niylah too was filled with such emotions she wasn't sure what to do with her hands, wanting to feel every inch of her.
"God I've missed this, I've missed you so much." Clarke husked, attacking the blondes chest.
Just then Clarke heard stifled cries as she looked up she saw the tears rolling down the blonde's face. "What's wrong?" she asks, stopping everything she was doing as she grabbed the blondes face.
Niylah could only shake her head as she couldn't control her emotions. This was all overwhelming.
"Niylah, breathe. Deep breaths babe, slow deep breaths." Clarkes soothing voice filled her ears.
Finally calming down Niylah placed her hang against the blondes cheek. "Nothing's wrong. It was just overwhelming feeing you touch me again, all the emotions being stirred up." She spoke softly.
Clarke smiled at the blonde as she pressed her head against the blonde. "I know what you mean. Listen, we don't have to do this. If its too soon."
Niylah stared into crystal blue eyes before shaking her head. "No, I want to do this. I need to feel you again. It's been to long."
Clarke smiled at the blondes response, though waiting for the other woman to take the lead now. A few heart beats passed before the blonde leaned up capturing Clarke in a sweet and passionate kiss, edging the blonde back on to their previous flow.
Tomorrow they would return to the bunker, for now the two needed each other more than anything else in the world.