Here is another updated Chapter. Hope y'all enjoy! FYI- I changed the timeline of season 2 around a little bit, just to fit my story a little better. I'm putting more time between the barn fiasco and all the rest, allowing for some character development.
Updated: 4-20-2020
Chapter 2
Nicole POV
"It's been a long time comin' since I've seen your face. I've been everywhere and back trying to replace."- Feel Again, OneRepublic
"Oh my god. I missed you so much Shane." My voice was almost silent I burrowed into his embrace.
It was a good thing that Shane's strong arms were wrapped so tightly around me, as I knew that my legs couldn't support my weight right now. This was the first bit of human contact that I had had in weeks, and I savored every bit of it, enjoying the feeling of his hands holding on to me. I could feel his warm breath on my neck as I nestled closer into him. He smelled like a campfire, a smell which I had always found comforting in the past. Now, it was more than comforting. It was relieving. Hot tears pooled in the corners of my eyes. My brother and I had never been emotional people, especially not with each other, but that didn't seem to matter right now.
"Nikki." He breathed quietly, his voice wavering slightly. His words were short and choked, but packed with raw emotion. "Nikki, I thought you were dead."
Slowly and a little reluctantly, I pulled back, letting my arms fall away. Instead of letting me go, however, he simply moved his hands to rest heavily on my shoulders. Seeing as he was well over 6 foot, and I topped out at a measly 5'2, I had to look up to see if I wanted to really see him. I took a moment to examine his face. In a way, he looked the same as he always had, and yet he looked so incredibly different. He had shaved his black, curly hair, and I noted that there were many cuts and bruises visible on his scalp. They were the signs of a struggle. His dark brown eyes were more tired and haunted than the last time we had been together, but his gaze held firm as he examined me the same way I was examining him. Yes, he looked different, but this was still most definitely my big brother.
"You look like hell." He said finally, his voice strained. He squeezed my shoulders a little too tightly, almost as if trying to reassure himself that I was still here.
"So do you." I retorted quietly, shoving him a little. Always the charmer, my brother. Of course, I knew he was right. I couldn't tell you the last time I had bathed, or washed my clothes. Everyone here probably looked- and smelled- significantly better than me, but I would never give Shane the satisfaction of knowing he was right. He grunted at this, a small glimmer of-was that annoyance?-in his eyes. I simply sighed and smiled, surprised at how easily we fell back into our normal banter. "I can't believe I found you. I thought that-"
"Nicole?" A new voice called my name, drawing my attention away from my brother and behind me. I turned my head and scanned the area until my eyes found the culprit. My heart seemed to stop for a moment. How was it possible? He was supposed to be... he was dead, like actually, dead. He had been shot point blank in the chest, and yet here he was, running towards me, a shocked and surprised smile lighting up his face. His curly brown hair was windblown and his shirt was covered in mud. His face was a little more wrinkled and his beard was longer than the last timeI had seen him, but I could recognize that face anywhere.
"Rick!" I cried, running towards him. He ran towards me as well, meeting me halfway. He swallowed me in another hug, lifting me a few inches off of the ground and spinning me around. "Rick!" I laughed, although I wasn't surprised by his actions. Rick had always been one for dramatic reunions. "Put me down!" He did as I said, setting me down gently. The smile, however, did not leave his face. I could see a few tears pooling in his eyes as he gave me a glance-over, checking for serious injuries or harm.
"Is it really you?" He asked, putting his hands on my face, as if he was trying to prove to himself that I was real. He brushed a few strands of my crusty hair off of my sticky forehead. I grabbed his hands and slowly pulled them away.
"Yes. It's really me." I nodded, smiling back at him. I brought my voice even lower and gave the man a pointed look. "And you, my friend, look really good for a man that I thought was dead."
"What can I say? " He replied, his eyes crinkling as a smile spread across his tanned face. I couldn't help but grin at him. When I had gotten the call that Rick had been shot, it felt like the entire world was on fire. Now that he was truly here in front of me, it was as if a small piece of my puzzle had been returned to me.
"Uh, ahem?" Someone behind us said loudly, capturing our attention. I turned around so I was facing the rest of the group, whom I had completely forgotten was there.
"What's happening here?" An older man asked, his hand placed lightly on Maggie's shoulder. I took a cautious step behind Rick as I felt all of their gazes boring into me. I had never been a big fan of being the center of attention. Hoping that I was at least a little more well hidden now, I finally took the time to look at all the people in front of me. There were two women and five men, not including Rick and Shane. Most of them had lost the distrustful look in their eyes, so now they just seemed curious, although a few still seemed quite wary of me. Of course they were. I probably looked like a crazed maniac.
"Oh..." Rick said quickly. It seemed as if he too had forgotten that we weren't alone. "This is Nicole." He gently grabbed my arm and pulled lightly so that I was no longer hiding behind his larger frame. Now, I was standing next to him.
"She's my sister." Shane added, planting himself on the other side of me, grasping my wrist in his large hand. Everyone's gazes quickly jumped from curious to surprised and confused. They all looked back and forth between the two of us, trying to figure out if this was the truth or not. I knew why they were so confused. Shane and I looked nothing alike, and our personalities were not that similar either. He was stubborn, confident, and straight forward, always needing to be in charge. I was focused and very private, and I was more than happy to work in the background.
"Really?" Was all the old man said, looking me over, his eyes quite calculating. I shifted slightly, looking awkwardly at my feet. "Another one of your people on my farm."
"I don't have to stay." I said quickly, cutting off Shane who had opened his mouth to retort, suddenly feeling very guilty about my presence. I internally cursed myself out. Why had I let myself get my hopes up? Of course they didn't want me around. This world was every man for himself. The last thing they needed was another mouth to feed. I shook off my disappointment and turned my head so that my posture was more confident. I didn't want them to see me weak. "I'm just glad that my brother is okay, and that Rick's okay. You can send me on my way now, really. I completely understand. I've survived on my own this long. I can survive some more." Although my voice wasn't very loud, I spoke with conviction, hoping they could sense the truth in my words.
"Don't be stupid Nicole." Maggie stepped forward, closer to me and away from the older man, who I assumed was her father. She gave me a warm smile, the wariness no longer apparent in her eyes. "You saved my life. You saved Glenn's life. You had no reason to, but you did, and now you found your family. That has to be a sign that you were meant to be here. You're not leaving. Not if I have anything to say about it."
Her kindness startled me, but it didn't completely change the way I felt. I gave her a small smile, but shook my head. "No. I don't want to be a burden to you. This is your farm, not mine."
"And here on my farm," the old man spoke up. "I'm willing to make an exception for people that save my daughter's life." He gestured to Maggie, who nodded in agreement. So she was his daughter.
"There is now way in hell I'm letting you leave Nicole." Shane told me firmly. His voice was hard, like he was ordering me instead of persuading me. His grip on my wrist tightened sharply, cutting the circulation off from my hand. I flinched a little and looked towards him. He was staring at me so fiercely that I thought he may burn a hole through me if we stood there long enough. "You're staying. You hear me?"
"What he means is, you're welcome here Nicole." Rick interjected, trying to cut through the intensity my brother was radiating. He offered me a warm smile, a stark contrast between Shane's firm glare, and I was slightly grateful for it. Shane's seriousness had started to make me a little nervous, but I guess that's just how people get when only one member of their family remains. "Plus I know what kind of skills you have. We could use someone like you. Please, stay."
I looked around at the people in front of me. Although they certainly seemed much more relaxed now, my anxiety was still through the roof. If Shane hadn't been holding my wrist, I knew that my fist would have been thumping wildly right about now. Could I trust these people? Truthfully, I didn't know. I had never been good at letting people get close to me. Every time I did, they were ripped from me. So close, yet so far away. It was just easier to keep everyone out. Then again, I had a better shot at survival with them than I did on my own. Maybe this was worth a shot.
"Alright." I nodded finally. "I'll stay, as long as I'm not in the way."
"Of course you're not." Maggie waved her hand dismissively, walking up to me and grabbing my shoulder. "Now let's get you cleaned up. I have some clothes that could fit you and we have a working shower. You smell like you could use it." She stuck her nose up in the air, and sniffed over dramatically. I rolled my eyes and she giggled, grabbing my arm. I tried to walk away, but Shane still had a strong grip on my arm. I tugged my arm a little, but he wouldn't let me go.
"Shane. Shane, let me go." I said quietly, hoping to get him to release my arm. He just stared at me blankly in response. "Shane!" I said a little louder. He blinked suddenly, shaking his head, like I snapped him out of a trance of sorts.
"Oh." He said quietly, letting me go.
I pulled my wrist away quickly, trying to hide my skin because I knew what it would look like. I didn't want him to know that he had bruised me. I knew he hadn't meant to, so I didn't want to make him feel guilty.
Maggie led me up to the house. It was a cute building, with faded white paneling, green shutters, and porch lights, and the entire building had a sort of rustic charm to it. She motioned for me to follow her up the porch stairs and into the house. Walking through the front door, I was greeted by the sight of a cluttered living room. It was immediately obvious that a lot of people came and went in here. Muddy boot prints were visible on the carpet, jackets and weapons lay strewn about the couches and chairs, and there were various laundry baskets littered throughout the room. I could hear the sounds of people walking around the house, and I could smell something cooking in the kitchen. Involuntarily, my stomach growled quite loudly. I suddenly remembered that I hadn't eaten proper food in a few days as hunger gnawed at my empty stomach.
"Guess we know what you should do after you shower." Maggie smirked. I rolled my eyes again, but I knew that she was right. "Come into the kitchen. There's some more people to meet." Anxiety once again bubbled inside of my chest at the thought of more people. I was really not looking forward to more scrutiny.
Regardless of my fears, Maggie led me into the small kitchen. The floor was a dirty, white tile and the cabinets were the same. The counters were fairly clean, with various ingredients scattered around. Some kind of meat was cooking in a crockpot on the stove. It smelled like pure heaven to my starving body. Two women were cooking in there. One was a tall woman with short gray hair, and the other was a very thin woman with long brown hair. Her dark eyes were focused on the bowl she was stirring. They didn't seem to notice our presence, but I still saw them. And I knew exactly who she was.
"Well, well Lori." I said quietly. "You never really were much of a cook."
The brunette looked up suddenly, her spoon clattering out of her hand when her eyes locked onto me. She brought her other hand up to her mouth, looking absolutely stunned.
"What the….." She stuttered, stepping closer to me. Her brown eyes were wide and disbelieving, as if she didn't really believe I was there, like I was some figment of her imagination.
"You weren't expecting to see me in the doorway, were you?" I asked jokingly, smirking at her expression, which was a near mirror image of what her husband's had been.
"Nicole." She shook her head and took a tentative step closer to me. Suddenly, she rushed the rest of the way across the kitchen, hugging me fiercely. "You little bitch." She laughed. She pulled away, looking me up and down. "What are you...? Why are you…? How..?"
"She saved my life at the pharmacy. Mine and Glenn's." Maggie said, a bit of a terse edge to her voice. Her sharp change in attitude caught me by surprise, as I hadn't heard the woman speak unkindly at all. Lori looked over at her, and the two shared a look that I didn't know the meaning behind. Maggie's expression was close to a glare and Lori looked almost guilty. I was sure there was a much larger story behind it, one that I did not know about, but now did not seem like the time to ask about their history.
"I'm sorry." The gray haired woman interjected, attempting to cut through the awkward tension in the room, and interrupting the stare off. "Who are you?"
"I'm Nicole Walsh. Shane's my brother." I said softly, trying to give what I thought was a kind smile. I'm not sure if it worked, though.
"Really?" She cocked an eyebrow, giving me a look down that I had gotten used to at this point.
"Yeah. She lived with Shane, so she's always been like family to us." Lori piped up. She and Maggie had ended their silent conversation, and now she was completely focused on me again. "Nicole, this is Carol." Lori pointed to the other woman.
"Hi." Carol nodded.
Lori smiled, turning back to my face, wiping a tear from her eyes. "God, it's good to see you."
"You too." I breathed out heavily, still trying to wrap my head around everything that had happened in the past few minutes. "I thought you were dead. I thought Rick was dead. I thought Shane was dead. I thought you were all dead. But here you are. Alive as ever." I shook my head in mild disbelief.
"Yeah, we're all okay Nikki. Me, Rick, Shane. And Carl too." She said softly, putting a hand on my shoulder.
Suddenly, my heart beat a little faster at the mention of the last name. I felt a smile creeping up on my face at the thought of my younger 'cousin'. "Really? He's okay too?" Even though I was a decade older than him, Carl and I had always been really close. When I wasn't away at school, I was his babysitter, I drove him to school, I went to all of his little league baseball games. He was like the little brother that I never had. I had watched him grow up, I had helped to raise him. Knowing that he was here, it made me a little bit more at ease.
"Well, okay is a relative term." Lori said quietly. The color drained from my face. Oh god. What happened? Lori seemed to sense my apprehension though, so she quickly added "He's okay Nikki. He's okay. He was just...accidentally shot. That's all."
"He was what?" I said a little too loudly, startling the other two women in the room.
"It was an accident. He's okay. Hershel fixed him up. He's fine now. He's just resting upstairs." She stroked my arm gently, offering me various reassurances. There were multiple thoughts running through my head now, so I sucked in a long breath, trying to arrange everything in my mind.
"Hershel?" I asked, hoping to understand at least a little bit more about the situation.
"My dad." Maggie explained. "He's a veterinarian. Not a people doctor, but close enough." I nodded. At least he was okay. Carl was okay.
"Can I see him?" I asked Lori.
The woman looked me up and down briefly before biting her lip awkwardly. "Why don't you clean up a little first?" She suggested, trying to be as polite as possible. I blushed a deep crimson, but it was probably not even noticeable underneath all of the dirt that covered my face. "He'll still be there when you're done, and uh, you look like you could use it."
"I smell like it too." I shrugged. She laughed at this. "Hey Lor, I really am glad to see you." I squeezed her shoulder before turning around.
I barely heard her whisper "Glad someone wants to see me." It was so quiet that I thought I had imagined it, but I knew that I hadn't. I wasn't sure if I had heard her right, so I decided to leave it be for now. I stored it in my head for later though, knowing that I would have to bring it up to her eventually. Obviously a lot more was going on here than appeared on the surface.
Maggie led me to the bathroom on the main level. It was a small green room just off the main hall. The room itself was nothing much, but I almost cried when I saw that they had working hot water. Oh god, it had been so long since I had used a real shower. "Wait here." She said, before running out of the room. She came back a minute later with a stack of clothes in her hand. "They're some of my old clothes, so they should fit you decently." She handed them to me. My heart swelled with gratitude when I took the clothing in my hands. Maggie was taller than I was, so I figured that her older clothes should work just right. Of course, it didn't really matter to me. I was just glad to have a change of clothes. I had a few articles in my duffel bag, but most of them were so caked in blood that I couldn't bring myself to put them on.
"Thank you Maggie." I smiled, clenching the clothes in my hand. "For everything. Your kindness and hospitality are undeserved and unwarranted, but completely appreciated. There aren't enough good people left." I hoped that she understood how serious I was when I said this. I truly meant every word of it. There were very few kind people left, and I was truly grateful for all they had done for me. They had brought me back to my family. I could never repay that debt.
"Hey, that's what I do." She shrugged, giving me a small smile. "Come out and get some food when you're done." I nodded as she closed the door and left me alone in the bathroom. Slowly, I peeled the clothes off of my body. I had been wearing these for so long that I thought they might have melted onto me. I winced as I pulled my tattered shirt over my head, shuddering as the fabric rubbed my open cuts across my abdomen. I slipped off my bloodstained pants and then took off my undergarments, until I was standing there in front of the mirror, completely naked.
I examined myself in the mirror and grimaced a little at what I saw. They weren't lying. I looked like shit. My long blonde hair was tinted red with blood and stuck to my face and neck in large clumps. My face was covered in scrapes and bruises from where branches and debris had hit me. The scars that littered my face were hidden behind a thick layer of sweat and grime, but I knew that they would be more prominent than ever after I was clean. Deep purple bags hung under my blue eyes, a sign of my intense exhaustion. My feet were red and had blisters on them, and the skin on my hands was rubbed raw. I cringed when I saw my midsection. My abdomen was covered in dried blood, blood that had soaked through my shirt. The large cut on my side was an angry purple color, so I mentally reminded myself to deal with the wound later. I had gotten that when one of my friends had accidentally sliced me during the attack. I could count every single one of my ribs. I was scarily pale and deathly thin. I looked like a ghost, the bloodied shell of the person I used to be. If I had seen me from far away, I would have thought that I was a walker.
I stepped into the small shower and winced as the hot water hit my body. I just stood there for a few moments, breathing in and out, hissing slightly as I let the water wash the blood and dirt and sweat and tears off of my tired body. The water below me was dark brownish-red color, and I let out a content sigh as I let all of the pain from the past few months roll down the drain. While the water poured down upon me, I absentmindedly touched my wrist. There was a fresh purple bruise forming there, from where Shane had grabbed me earlier.
Oh yes. Shane.
I was worried about him. He seemed...different. Things were definitely strained between him and Rick. That much had been obvious during our short interaction. To someone who knew the pair well, their tension was obvious. The looks they had shared were hard and angry. Something had happened.
But now was not the time to worry about it. Now was the time to let the water cleanse me. With this showerI knew that I would slowly be able to feel again. For the first time since the world went to hell, I was finally able to find a little bit of peace. Even if it didn't last long, for now I was safe, and that was more than I could have hoped for when I woke up this morning.
So for right now, I just closed my eyes and let the water cleanse me, standing in the water until it started running clear. I got a big dollop of shampoo in my hand, and I carefully began to thread my fingers through the rat's nest that was my hair. It would probably be easier if I just cut it short, but my hair had always been one of my favorite traits, so I refused to part with it. As I massaged my scalp, I allowed the rhythmic motion to distract me, losing myself in my thoughts as I heard a song start playing in my head. I let the music fill my mind, pulling me away from reality. Music was always the way I calmed myself down. For me, it was the best way to escape reality.
That was something I really needed nowadays.