-Glenn's POV-
"I need another story. Somethingot get off my chest. My life gets kind of boring. I need something that I can confess." - Secrets, OneRepublic
What is it with people and not saying exactly what they mean? Or was it just me? Was I really that obtuse when it came to human interaction?
Honestly, it was probably a little bit of both.
I now had two secrets to keep. The first one- Lori is pregnant. Yeah, you heard me. Pregnant. And she had asked me not to tell anyone. Unfortunately, that wasn't even the biggest secret of the week.
Walkers. In the barn. I stood there for a moment, processing everything I had learned in the past hour. We were sleeping next to a barn, full of walkers. Were they ever going to tell us?
And the more important question, what was I going to do?
So, I had gone to the one person with a level head around here. Dale.
And, to my surprise, he had already known about it. He had gone to confront Hershel, and learned that the crazy old man thought that the walkers were people. Really, really sick people. And he was convinced that, if he kept them locked away long enough, they would find a cure. He actually believed they could be saved.
Then we had made the executive decision to tell the rest of the group. I knew it would anger them, mostly Shane, but this problem needed to be dealt with, fast. I told Dale that it was best that I did it. Dale was already on thin ice with Shane, no need to jump on it.
There was only one other person who knew that I knew about it. And that was Maggie, the dark haired farmer's daughter with an attitude, the object of my affection, my girlfriend.
What was I going to say to her? She believed her father. She thought they were sick people. She thought she could bring them back. The truth would crush her. How was I supposed to do that?
I waged a mental war with myself as I walked towards my tent. What should I say? How should I go about it? How would they react? All questions with unclear answers.
One of the more pressing questions was when to bring it up. The past few days had been nuts. Nicole had showed up, Daryl had been shot, and he was better now, but that wasn't the point. Shane was pissed at Rick, Lori was pissed at Shane, and Rick was just trying to keep everything together for the whole group. It was all too much. They didn't need this too.
But, we had to end this, one way or another. Something had to be done.
As I got closer to my tent, a sound pulled me out of my head. It was quiet, almost not noticeable, but it was there. Was that...music? I stopped in my tracks, listening to the soft tune. Oh yeah, that was definitely music. I sighed softly. It had been so long since I had heard music. It was coming from the bottom of the hill, by the trees. Someone was singing, but who?
I followed the music down, entranced by the sweet melody. At the bottom of the hill, there was the last person I expected to be singing.
It was Nicole, the woman who had barely said ten sentences since she arrived. It took me a while to figure out what she was doing. She was splitting wood with her axe, probably for the fire. How she was strong enough to split wood, or knew the proper way to do it, was beyond me. That girl was enigma.
"Wade in the water." She sang, her voice quiet. "Wade in the water, children. Wade in the water. God's gonna trouble, the water." She picked up another log, tossing the smaller scraps on a pile.
"You have a nice voice." I said suddenly. She jolted, dropping her axe on the ground. She clutched her chest, her breathing heavy.
"You scared the hell outa me." She sighed.
"Sorry." I grinned sheepishly, twirling my thumbs awkwardly. I always said things at the wrong time. "But you do have a nice voice."
At this, I could have sworn I saw her blush, but when she caught me staring, it disappeared immediately, her face returning to an emotionless mask. "You were listening?"
"Just a little." I nodded. I saw her wince slightly. I instantly felt bad. I had just forced myself on her, making her uncomfortable. We barely knew each other, and she did not seem like the kind of person that trusted strangers easily. She was probably quite uncomfortable. To be honest, I was too. She awkwardly looked down at her feet, bending down to pick up her axe from where she had dropped it. I decided that it was time to change the subject. "Uh, what are you doing?" Smooth Glenn. What are you doing. Way to make it less weird.
"Splitting wood." She said, swinging the axe so it was resting on her shoulder. "What's it look like I'm doing?"
"I thought so." I grinned. "Where did you learn how to do it? How to split wood I mean?" I really was curious. Where did a girl like this learn her skills?
"Growing up on a farm, I guess." Nicole shrugged.
"What? I thought you lived with Shane, and he is most definitely not a farm boy." I was really confused. Had they lived on a farm?
"Shane and I are half siblings. Same dad, different mom. I lived with Shane after I turned 12." She explained, her emotions unreadable. "Before that, I lived with my mother and stepfather on a farm."
Ohh. That made more sense. "So, that's where you learned to use an axe?"
She nodded. "I split wood every morning for 4 years, from the time I was 8 years old to the time I was 12. My stepdad used to say it built character. Huh. Some character it made me." She mumbled the last part, almost inaudible.
I realized that this was the most I had spoken with Nicole since she arrived almost 4 days ago. I kind of felt like I was on a roll, so I decided to keep talking. Oh yeah, always a nice move Glenn.
"Why do you use that axe then?" I gestured to her worn weapon. It wasn't the nicest weapon. That was for sure. The handle was cracked and the blade was chipped. Dried blood covered the blade. And practical it was not. It was huge, bulky, and awkward. Why the hell did she choose to use it?
"Why do you always wear that baseball cap?" She quipped back. That took me by surprise. What did she mean? "Everybody holds onto something from their life before. They hold onto something of sentimental value. The story behind it isn't important. It doesn't matter what it is. A hat, an axe, a doll…. They're symbols of a simpler time, a better time. They're symbols of hope"
That was true. I kept my hat for personal reasons. It meant a lot to me. Apparently, her axe was the same way for her. I thought about it for a moment. It was true. Everybody had that one thing that kept them sane, that brought them back to the time when they used to be better. I pondered that, until I realized that I had been staring at Nicole. She seemed to notice too, because she quickly looked away, focusing a little too intently on her axe.
"So, uh, you split wood every morning?" I said, shifting uncomfortably. Nicole nodded again, starting to split more wood. Every swing of the axe seemed more and more forceful.
"Yeah. Every morning I would wake up, change into my work clothes, start singing a song, and head off to work." Then, she added, "I was like one of the dwarves that lived with Snow White." She laughed a little at this. I have a small chuckle.
"So uh, your stepdad worked with you?" I asked.
"Yeah. Me, and him, and Jack." She said.
"Oh, who's Jack?"I asked, cocking an eyebrow. She said nothing. "Oh come on, tell me. Your little boyfriend?" I was trying to be funny, but apparently I was not, because as soon as I said it, Nicole tensed up. Her mask of a face was cracked with emotion. With sadness. Her blue eyes were hard, and they showed her feeling of anguish. She stopped swinging her axe, letting it hang loosely in her hand.
"Some stories don't need to be told." Was all she said before she turned away, not looking up as she did so. Obviously, she was a little touchy when it came to this Jack fellow. I groaned internally. Why could I never figure out when to shut up?
"Nice going Glenn." I muttered to myself, jamming my hands in my pockets. "Way to scare the new girl." I trudged back up the hill, shaking my head at myself. When I got to the top of the hill, I saw the rest of the group gathered around the fire, and my heart sank.
I had almost completely forgotten.
The barn was full of walkers.
And I had to tell them about it.
Awesome.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, wincing slightly. Suddenly, my hands were clammy and I was sweating. This always happened before I spoke to groups. I had never been good at speaking to groups before, so I didn't know how to go about it now.
I kept walking slowly, as Carol waved me over, showing me a plate of food. Dale was there beside her, and he gave me a knowing nod as I walked by. He knew what had to be done. The whole group was here. Shane, Rick, Lori, Carl, hell, even Daryl was eating with us, which was rare.
I ate my meal slowly and deliberately, using each bite to try and decide what to say. By the time I had finished eating, Nicole had joined the group. When she passed me she looked down at her feet, trying to ignore me. She ate her meal a few feet away, like Daryl used to do when he first met the group.
After sucking on a clean fork for the fourth straight minute, I decided that it was time. I had to get it off my chest. I couldn't take it anymore.
This secret I had been carrying with me all night and all morning was exploding inside of me. It was bursting at the seams, desperate to get out. I had to do it.
"So uh," I stood up awkwardly, uncomfortable when all the gazes shifted towards me. But I swallowed and continued. "There is something I need to tell all of you."
"The barn's full of walkers."
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me. The only sound was of T's fork hitting his plate. There was silence all around them. They were all staring with wide eyes, some terrified, some confused, most furious.
"Show us." Shane said harshly, his voice similar to a growl. I didn't want to, but the glare he was giving me was terrifying, so I nodded weakly. I turned towards the barn, and I heard everyone behind me stand up and follow me.
When we got to the dilapidated building, I stopped a few feet in front of it, but Shane kept going. He found a crack in the wall and looked through. The rest of the group came to a stop beside me, not wanting to look any closer, like they wanted it to all be some sick joke.
After a moment, Shane grunted and backed away from the wall. He was glaring. Everyone beside me tensed up. They knew it was true.
"You can't tell me you're okay with this." He said to Rick, focusing his glare on him.
"I'm not." Rick replied. "But we're guests here. This isn't our land." Andrea rolled her eyes at this, and Shane grunted. Rick was always the rational one, the one who saw the big picture. He was usually right about these kinds of things, but that didn't mean they wanted to admit it.
"This is our lives man!" Shane screamed.
"Lower your voice man!" I hissed, flinching when he turned to glare at me.
"We can't just sweep this under the rug." Andrea said.
"It ain't right." Shane snapped. He was pacing now. "We either have to go in there and make things right, or we just gotta go." He turned to Rick. "We've been talking about Fort Benning-"
"No. We can't go." Rick groaned.
"Why not?" Shane grunted.
"Because Sophia's still out there." Carol spoke up, stepping closer to the two men. Shane looked at her with wide eyes and covered his face with his hands.
"God. I think it's time we all just start to just consider the other possibility-" he started to say, but he was cut off by many people.
"No!" Rick said.
"We're not leaving her." Carol said forcefully.
"I'm so damn close man." Daryl walked into the argument. I was surprised. He never joined in these types of issues. "I just found her damn doll two days ago."
"Yes. And that's all you found." Shane snapped, getting closer to him. "A doll." At this, Daryl lunged forward, but Nicole stuck her axe in between them, so the blade was just inches from both of them, keeping the two apart.
"Think about it Rick. All those missing kids we looked for. The first forty-eight hours man." Shane was yelling now. "After the first forty-eight hours, you're looking for a body, not a kid. And you," he pointed at Daryl. "I she saw you running through the woods, all methed out, looking like a crazy bitch, she would run in the other direction. She would run from you."
Daryl lost it again, pushing past Nicole. Shane pressed forwards, shoving the hunter forcefully. Daryl was about to take a swing at him when Rick and I jumped in the middle, tearing the two apart. Both men were still screaming and shoving.
"Get the hell off me man!" Shane screamed at me, shoving me. Nicole rushed forward and pushed him back. She shot me a glance, giving me an small thumbs up. I did the same to her, showing her I was okay.
"Let me talk to Hershel." Rick said finally. "I'll see if he can clear it."
"Now," Dale spoke up. "Hershel sees those things as people. Sick people. His wife, his stepson."
"You knew?" Nicole asked incredulously, looking at the older man with fire in her eyes.
"Yesterday. I talked to Hershel."
"And you waited a whole day to tell us?" Lori gasped.
"I thought we could survive one more night. And we did." Dale said, trying to be the voice of reason. "I was going to same something this morning but Glenn wanted to be the one." I groaned internally. Why had I volunteered to do this?
"Hershel's crazy if he thinks those things are alive." Shane spat.
"He's not crazy." Nicole looked at her brother. "He's desperate. We all are. I'm with Rick. It's his land."
"Oh shut up Nicole." Shane sneered. "You've been here what? Four days? You're in no position to make calls for this group."
"Neither are you!" She yelled. "You don't think Shane. You just do. You always have, and you always will. And that may work when it's just your life on the line, but now you have a dozen other people beside you. You need to start using your head man!"
And then, he did something that none of us saw coming.
He punched her. The sound was sickening, silencing the whole group. We all just stood there. It was almost like slow motion, watching his hand strike her face. For anyone else, that would have sent them flying to the ground, but not Nicole.
She just stood there and took it. She didn't flinch. She didn't cry. She just stood there, maintaining eye contact with her brother. Her eyes were emotionless, but I could tell Shane was trying to match the guilt he felt. Carl audibly gasped at the outburst, drawing Shane's attention away. When their eyes met, I saw him wince. He felt bad. I could tell. Carl was the only one left that trusted him, and he had just hit his sister, one of Carl's good friends. in front of him.
"Nicole-"
"It's fine." She snapped, cutting off her brother. "Whatever calms you the hell down." Then, she walked off, not even turning to look at the rest of us. I felt bad for her.
Not only because she got hit, but because of something in the way she reacted.
"Whatever calms you the hell down." Her face was an emotionless mask. She hadn't spazzed out. She hadn't cried. She had taken it.
Something told me this had happened to her before.
But that was another secret that I didn't think she would be willing to share.
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