Someone Like You

by Acrobat91

18 Months after Molly is faced with the ultimate betrayal, Bones presents her with an opportunity that will change her life in ways she could never imagine. This is a tale of two love stories and one woman's journey to empowerment. Molly/Captain James & Molly/Bones.

11. Chapter 11

Thank you for all of the continued reviews and PMs. This was a challenging chapter to write and I am very curious to hear what you think of it. Both CJ and Bones are meant to be complex characters and hopefully I have done justice to their complexity.

Music is an important part of my life and there are several songs that have played a role in this fic. "Take You Down" by Illenium has been a key inspiration for the CJ storyline, and was essential to this chapter.

Lastly, I think this is my longest chapter to late. Hopefully it's not too long!

Winchcombe

Gloucestershire

United Kingdom

"How long have I been asleep?" I yawned from the passenger seat of Bones's Range Rover.

"Nearly two hours," his response prompted me to look out the window. Even in bad traffic it should not have taken us two hours to drive from Sandhurst to London. Instead of the bustling city streets of London, we were surrounded by rolling hills and meadows for as far as the eye could see.

"Bones?"

"Yeah?"

"I know I can be a bit cack-handed with directions, but shouldn't we be in London, and not in the back of beyond?"

"We would be in London, if that was our destination," Bones smirked at me.

"I thought we were returning to Max and Jack's?"

"I decided you would be more comfortable at my place."

"This doesn't look like Herefordshire," I observed, perplexed by our location. "Where's my kit?" I suddenly realised that I hadn't brought my rucksack with me to Sandhurst. "Please tell me it's not still at Max and Jack's?"

"Your kit is in the boot. Jack arranged for it to be delivered while we were at the luncheon. As for our whereabouts, we're in the Cotswolds."

"The Cotswolds? What are we doing in the bleeding Cotswolds of all places?"

"I decided Winchcombe is the best place for you to recuperate in this heat."

"You're taking me to your parents'?" I gawked at Bones.

"The last time I checked, it was my home too," he chuckled.

"I can't go to your parents' house like this," I fretted. "I look a proper mess. I can only imagine what your mum is going to think of me in this state."

"You look fine. As for my mum, she knows you've been ill and that you fainted earlier."

"She must think I'm some shrinking violet," I sighed.

"Hardly," Bones rolled his eyes. "Mum is pleased as punch to have you as her guest for the weekend. The infernal woman has been trying to finagle a visit from us for weeks. She was absolutely chuffed when I telephoned her earlier to inform her that we would be gracing her with our presence."

"Don't you think it's a bit much, faking our relationship in front of your parents?"

"No, I'm not about to let Operation Bellend to go tits up because my mum sussed us out."

"Suit yourself," I was knackered and did not possess the energy to argue that now was not the best time to spend a weekend at his parents' house.

-X-

"Welcome to Mulberry Estate," Bones turned off the public highway onto a private road, which took us to a gated driveway. Bones opened the gate via a remote and proceeded to drive us along the winding drive through the grounds of the Estate. I could see a number of cottages and farm buildings along with numerous acres of woodland, farmland, and pastures in the distance.

"Do your parents live on the Estate?" I asked out of curiosity.

"In a manner of speaking," Bones gave a cryptic response, which immediately aroused my suspicions.

"Please don't tell me they own all of this," I could feel my stomach filling with collywobbles. The James Family had been upper class, but this was something else altogether.

"There's no need to get your knickers in a twist, Poppet. My parents might own all of this, but they are anything but toffee nosed. This isn't Downtown Abbey," he smirked.

"If it's not Downtown Abbey, what exactly is it?" I mused as we pulled up in front of a massive country house.

"Mulberry Estate serves as a farm and sporting estate. It's been in my father's family since the 18th Century," Bones began. "The entire estate is some five hundred acres. Mulberry Lodge, which sits in front of us, is a former hunting lodge and is now my family's country home. I was raised here until I went to Gordonstoun and spent most of my school holidays here. My parents have kept the forty acres surrounding Mulberry Lodge private. A large portion of the remaining acreage is used as working farm and pasture. We also allow the public onto a part of the property for shooting and hunting at certain times of the year. It provides employment for local families and generates enough revenue to sustain itself, and provide my family with a tidy profit," he explained.

I was utterly gobsmacked by the sheer magnitude of the Estate and everything it implied about Bones and his family. While I knew he was wealthy, I had had never anticipated anything like this. To say I was out of my element was an understatement.

"Look," Bones reached his hand out to cup my chin in a reassuring gesture. "I know this is all a bit overwhelming, but I can assure you it doesn't change anything. I'm still the barmy action man who likes to drive you mad. As for my family, I think you'll find they are just like every other family," he assured. "Do you think you can stop catching flies now?"

"Yes," I nodded. "I'm warning you though, McClyde, if you're misleading me, and this turns out to be Downtown Abbey, I am definitely doing a bunk."

"I think you'll find there will be no need for that, Dawesey. You may actually surprise yourself and enjoy your stay at Mulberry Estate."

"We'll see about that," I rolled my eyes in response. I could only imagine what the weekend held for me.

-X-

"Uncle Bones! Uncle Bones!" Bones and I walked into the entrance hall of his parents' home to witness his nieces race into the room and nearly tackle Bones to the floor with excitement.

"If it isn't Thing 1 and Thing 2," Bones drawled, which caused his nieces to giggle uncontrollably. He responded by affectionately ruffling their blonde curls and scooping them up into his arms, before balancing one on each hip.

"Where's Grandma?" he inquired.

"She's right here," Victoria announced as she walked into the entrance hall. "I see the welcoming committee was here to greet you," she smiled. "It's lovely to see you again, Molly," Victoria kissed both of my cheeks. "Welcome to Mulberry Estate."

"Thank you, Mrs. McClyde. It is extremely kind of you to welcome me into your home on such short notice."

"Uncle Bones, why did Molly call Grandma Mrs. McClyde?"

"She was being polite," Victoria explained. "Molly, I insist that you call me Victoria. Ella, Mia? Would you like to meet Molly?" she turned to her nieces.

"Yes!" they both exclaimed in unison before Bones set them down.

"Remember your manners. We don't want to scare Molly off. Your uncle is scary enough on his own," she chuckled.

"I'm Ella," the niece who had questioned why I had called Victoria 'Mrs. McClyde' introduced herself. "This is Mia."

"Hello there, Ella and Mia," I crouched down to greet them. Mia was clearly shy and was peeking out at me from behind her sister. "I'm Molly."

"Grandma told us that you're Uncle Bones's girlfriend," Ella announced. "She said we had to be on our best behaviour so we don't scare you away."

"I don't see how two sweet little girls like you could possibly scare me away," I smiled at the twins.

"We'll see about that," Bones smirked. "These little hellions can be formidable when they set their minds to it."

"Why does that not surprise me," I chuckled.

"Do you like tea Molly?" Mia asked, as she crept out from behind her sister.

"I love tea!" I gave her wide smile.

"Grandma asked Suzanne to make tea. She's Grandma's housekeeper," Mia explained.

"I would love a cuppa."

"Why don't you and Ella go check on how Suzanne is coming along with the tea while Uncle Bones and Molly freshen up?" Victoria suggested to her granddaughters. "In the meantime, I will help Uncle Bones and Molly settle in."

-X-

"Molly, I'm sure you will be relieved to know that I am not some conservative old biddy who does not understand the workings of modern relationships in today's day in age," Victoria remarked as Bones and I followed her up a grand staircase to the second floor. "Arthur and I have no qualms about you sharing Bones's room while you stay with us. In all honestly, I would question my son's virility if you didn't."

"Knock it off, mother. You're embarrassing, Molly," Bones shook his head in annoyance.

"Don't mind me, Molly. I tend to be a bit gobby at times," Victoria remarked once we reached the landing.

"That's an understatement," Bones grumbled.

"Oh, stop being so bloody peevish," Victoria chastised her son, much to my amusement.

-X-

"Here we are," Victoria beckoned me into what I presumed to be Bones's bedroom. "I had one of the maids change the bed linens and stock the en-suite with fresh towels and toiletries for you. Bones thought you might be a little light on clothing, given the unexpected nature of your visit. Melissa, Olly's wife, who you will meet tomorrow morning, suggested that I have Claire, my assistant, pick up some essentials for you based upon my recommendations. Max texted her your sizes. You'll find them pressed and hanging in the wardrobe."

"Thank you," I gave a bemused smile. Victoria was clearly a force to be reckoned with, much like her son.

"I'm sure you would love to freshen up," Victoria indicated. "I will leave you two to shower and change. Please join us for tea in the orangery when you are ready."

"Thanks, Mum."

"Oh, and Bones?" Victoria addressed her son.

"Yes?"

"Given the unexpected nature of your visit, I took the liberty of leaving a little something for you in the top drawer of your bedside table. I didn't want you finding yourself ill prepared for later," Victoria gave her son a brazen smile, as my jaw dropped open from shock and I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

-X-

"Would I be correct in assuming that my mother is not the grand aristocratic lady you were anticipating?" Bones's face creased up with laughter once his mother had left the room.

"Please tell me she was taking the piss?" I implored, mortified by his mother's assumptions about our sex life.

"Open the drawer, and you'll find your answer," Bones invited with a smirk.

"I'd rather not."

"Knowing Mum, there's likely enough Johnnies in there to last a month."

"She must think all we do is shag. Speaking of which, could you please tell her I would be more comfortable in my own room?"

"And have her question my masculinity? If you think her supplying us with French letters is bad, just wait until she pilfers some of my father's Viagra for us. I'm afraid you're stuck with me for the weekend, Poppet," Bones declared. "I suggest you have a shower, unless you would prefer taking one together?"

"Piss off," I rolled my eyes at him. It was clear that this weekend was going to try my patience. Deep down I also suspected that it was also going to leave me more confounded than ever about my feelings for Bones.

-X-

After a refreshing shower, I exited the en-suite wrapped in a large fluffy bath sheet in search of clean clothes.

"Feeling better?" I was surprised to see that Bones had already showered, and had changed into a pair of sage green chino shorts, a white V-neck T-shirt, and black leather thong sandals.

"Much," I gave a shy smile, uncomfortable that I was naked under the bath sheet.

"I gave your clothing to one our maids to launder. Hopefully Claire was able to sort you out with some civvies," Bones motioned me towards an enormous walk-in wardrobe that I had only seen in films.

-X-

"Bones this is outrageous!" I exclaimed upon seeing several dresses, skirts, tops, shirts, and t-shirts hanging in the wardrobe. "I couldn't possibly wear all of this even if I changed my outfit every hour. This is way too much and I cannot possibly accept it."

"Relax. I'm sure Mum asked Claire to provide you with a wide variety of choices so you would feel comfortable. Whatever you don't wear, I'll have her return."

"Promise?" I looked at Bones sceptically.

"Promise," Bones smirked at me, knowing full well that I doubted him.

"Will you at least let me reimburse your mum for the clothes I do wear?"

"I think you'll find it best to do what we all do with Mum, which is to shrug our shoulders and say 'Lead on, McDuff,'" Bones advised.

"You're sure?" I hesitated.

"Yes. How about this frock?" Bones handed me an electric blue V-neck dress with pretty black and white flowers. The dress was short sleeved, had a half button-front, and a tie waist. It looked both cool and comfortable for a warm day.

"It will work," I agreed. "Um, do you know where I can find my knickers?" I blushed.

"They should be in this drawer," Bones pointed to a drawer in the wardrobe. "Don't worry, I didn't peek. The maid told me where she put them," he said, before leaving me to change in private.

-X-

"Bones!" I shrieked in horror upon opening the drawer to find an array of provocative lingerie.

"Molly, what's wrong?" Bones came running into the wardrobe.

"What the fuck is this?" I held up a black lace, crotchless thong in revulsion.

"This is clearly Mum's doing," Bones burst out laughing.

"This isn't bloody funny," I scowled at him. "Your Mum clearly thinks I'm some type of slag if she thinks I wear this sort of thing."

"I can assure you, she does not."

"Are you sure about that? Only a crumpet would wear this," I threw a black lace shelf bra with tiny half cups and a front clasp at him.

"Relax, Dawesey. There's no need to have kittens right now. This is just Mum being Mum. She knows we're consenting adults and she probably thought that based upon my reputation, this is the type of thing we enjoy in the bedroom."

"Doesn't it bother you that your mum clearly thinks your bedroom is a bleeding knocking shop?"

"You haven't known my mum long enough to know that these types of antics are bog standard for her. Just look at how she crashed the Queen's Garden Party to meet you."

"Why has everything gone all bloody Pete Tong today?" I lamented. "Isn't it enough that on top of being sick, roasting in the infernal heat, and dealing with a peevish fake boyfriend, that I had to fucking run into him and bloody faint? To make matters worse, you've dragged me to the back of beyond to visit your family with no warning, only for me to discover that your mother thinks I'm some brainless totty who is going to spend the entire weekend having rumpy-pumpy with you in your wanking chariot," I burst into tears, having finally reached my breaking point.

"Bloody hell," Bones reached for me, and pulled me into his arms. "Don't cry, Poppet. I hate it when you cry," he stroked my back.

"It's been a horrible day," I choked.

"It's certainly gone all tits up," Bones agreed. "However, I promise you, Molly, tomorrow will be better," he assured, leading me over to his bed.

"It certainly can't be much worse than today," I sniffed. "How am I going to face your Mum knowing what she must think?"

"Let me deal with my Mum. In the meantime, I will check on your laundry. Tomorrow morning, I will take you to the shops so you can pick out some additional knickers to see you through the weekend."

"Thank you," I yawned. "I feel like I'm fit for the knacker's yard."

"Here," Bones walked up to a chest of drawers and pulled out a grey T-shirt. Why don't you change into this and have a rest while I entertain Thing 1 and Thing 2 over tea?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Oh, and Dawesey, I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but my family really isn't that bad," he assured before kissing me on the forehead and leaving the bedroom.

-X-

"Uncle Bones, Molly's still asleep," I heard Ella complain from my slumber.

"We don't want her to miss din dins," Mia fretted.

"Maybe you should kiss her awake?" Ella suggested.

"Kiss her awake?" Bones gave a sardonic laugh.

"It's how Prince Charming wakes up Sleeping Beauty," Ella explained to her uncle.

"You reckon your Uncle Bones is Prince Charming?"

"Yes!" both girls exclaimed.

"Then he had better kiss me," I opened my eyes and smiled at the girls, causing Bones to smirk back at me.

"Crack on, Uncle Bones!" Ella urged her uncle.

"I had best get on with it then," Bones grinned at his nieces before bending over and capturing my lips in sweet kiss.

-X-

"Was that up to snuff for Prince Charming?" Bones questioned his nieces once he pulled away from me.

"Yes," they giggled, before grabbing Bones by the arm and dragging him over to his dressing table, where he handed Ella a giftbox with a bow wrapped around it and Mia a bouquet of flowers.

"We brought you pressies, Molly!" Ella announced as both girls rushed over to the bed.

"Pressies? What did I do to deserve pressies from two sweet little girls?" I asked, beckoning them onto the bed so they could sit next to me.

"Uncle Bones told us you had a tummy bug," Ella explained as she climbed up onto the bed and sat next to me.

"Daddy always gets Mummy flowers when she's feeling poorly. I told Uncle Bones to give you flowers," Mia handed me a bouquet of white roses and light pink peonies.

"These are beautiful. Thank you," I leaned over and kissed both girls on the cheek.

"Uncle Bones helped us pick them from Grandma's garden," Ella stated with pride.

"That was very thoughtful of him," I smiled at Bones.

"The box is from Uncle Bones. He said that you should wait to open it until we after we leave."

"I had best do that then. I don't want to make your Uncle Bones angry," I grinned.

"Are you feeling well enough to have dinner with us? Mia asked. "Grandma says if we eat a good dinner, we can have homemade ice cream for dessert."

"That sounds delightful!" I enthused.

"Does that mean you're coming to dinner?" Ella asked excitedly.

"Yes," I nodded in confirmation. "But first I need to change."

"We do too!" Ella announced. "Mia, let's go find Grandma and change for dinner."

"Okay, Ella. Bye Molly!" Mia called out as she dashed out of the room with her sister.

-X-

"May I?" I looked down at the box sitting in my lap once the girls had left.

"Have at it," Bones invited, seeming pleased with himself.

"More knickers?" I opened the box to find an array of bras and knickers in my size.

"I thought these might be more to your taste. No crotchless thongs this time. I also had them laundered along with your things."

"Thank you. These are definitely more to my taste," I was relieved to see comfortable lace hipsters and boyshorts with supportive, yet pretty, lace bras. "Did you do this all yourself?"

"I texted Melissa and she pointed me in the right direction. She'll be back tomorrow with Olly and my father. They are in London right now. Mum decided to stay here with the girls," he explained. "Melissa also said to tell you that she's looking forward to meeting you and to keep your chin up. She can't wait to share with you all of the crazy things Mum has done to her over the years."

"I'm looking forward to it," I climbed out of the bed and walked to the wardrobe, only to stop when I noticed a framed photograph sitting atop Bones's escritoire. "Is this you?" I asked, studying what appeared to be a young Bones in his early teens standing next to a soldier wearing combats and the SAS's trademark sand coloured beret.

"Yes," Bones nodded, coming to stand beside me and staring intently at the man in the photo.

"How old were you?"

"Thirteen."

"And the man in the picture?"

"My Uncle Robbie."

"You look just like him," I observed.

"He died shortly after this was taken during an Op in the Balkans," Bones revealed, his expression guarded, his eyes intently focused on the picture.

"Is he the reason you wanted to be in the SAS?" I asked, sensing that Bones had a deep affinity for his deceased uncle.

"Yes," Bones nodded, before turning away from the picture. "You had best get changed. We don't want to be late for dinner. The little munchkins will never let us hear the end of it if we are."

-X-

Two hours later, we had finished dinner, and Ella and Mia had finally settled for the night after they had insisted Bones tuck them in and read them a bedtime story. There was something rather endearing about witnessing the hardened Special Forces Officer reading fairy tales to his young nieces. He clearly adored them, and they, in turn, had their uncle wrapped around their tiny fingers.

Now that the sun was close to setting and the temperature had cooled, Bones had decided to go for a run on the Estate grounds. He left me with Victoria in the orangery, which was surprisingly modern and decorated to make one feel like they could relax away from the grandeur of Mulberry Lodge.

"Molly, I must apologize for embarrassing you earlier," Victoria began as we shared a cuppa. "Bones gave me a good rollicking while you were resting and told me that I was bang out of order. I by no means think you are some silly crumpet," she assured. "You have to understand that sometimes I cannot resist the temptation to wind up my son. When he telephoned earlier this afternoon to inform me that he was bringing you here, he barked a long list of instructions at me, which included all of the things I was forbidden from doing during your visit. I thought it wouldn't hurt to take the mickey out of him for speaking to his mother that way. I should have considered how my actions would affect you. I am truly sorry for being so thoughtless and impetuous."

"Thank you, Victoria. I understand. Bones has the tendency to be a bit over the top at times. It's good that he has a Mum who is not afraid to put him in his place," I smiled.

"I know you've had a trying day, especially with your ex having the nerve to show his face like he did," Victoria sympathised, leaving me surprised that Bones had told her about Charles.

"It definitely threw a spanner in the works," I admitted.

"I promised Bones I would not interfere, but you and I have more in common than you think, Molly, and I would love to tell you a story. Knowing that son of mine, he won't be back for quite some time, so if you're willing to listen, it starts with a girl named Vicky who was born in Essex."

-X-

"Unlike my husband, I was born and raised in Essex. My parents were working class, and my older brother, Robert, enlisted in the Army when he was eighteen. When I was fifteen, my mum and dad were killed in a motor accident, and I went to live with an aunt until I completed my GCSEs. I then obtained qualifications to become a nanny," Victoria began.

"I would never have known that you were from Essex," Victoria did not have a trace of an Essex accent.

"That would be my mother-in-law's influence. She ensured that I had elocution lessons shortly before I married Arthur, and by our second wedding anniversary, she had rid all traces of my accent," Victoria explained.

"I tried to do the same with my Cockney accent at Uni. I haven't been quite as successful as you in ridding myself of it."

"Don't," Victoria advised. "While I have no issue speaking like the Queen, I think it is important to remember where we came from. In my heart I'm still Vicky from Essex, and Arthur loves me all the more for it."

"If you don't mind my asking, how did you and Arthur meet?"

"I'll explain in a moment," Victoria promised. "When I was nineteen, my brother Robbie, found me a position as a nanny for an Army Captain based in Cyprus. I travelled with the Captain's wife and her two young children to Cyprus for the summer, where I met and fell in love with a young Lieutenant who happened to be a friend of the Captain's and was staying in the same villa with us. He was my first love, and at the time, I could not imagine loving anyone else."

"What happened?" Victoria piqued my curiosity to know more of her story.

"We were inseparable for the entire summer. He told me that I was the only woman he had ever loved, and he promised to adore me forever. I believed him, and found myself falling deeply in love with him. I honestly thought he would propose to me at the end of the summer and that I would live happily ever after with him continuing his career in the Army and me being an Officer's wife. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be. It turns out that prior to arriving in Cyprus he had proposed to another woman, and she had been patiently awaiting his return to the UK."

"What a complete and utter bastard!" I immediately empathised with Victoria.

"He told me that he did not love her, and while he did not want to marry her, his family had given him no choice. I begged him to go against his family and to marry me instead. Even though he promised that I would be his one true love until his dying day, he refused to go against his parents' wishes. He said that his parents would never accept an 'Essex girl' for a daughter-in-law, and that he could not risk being disowned by them. He had come from an aristocratic family that had fallen on hard times and as the second son, he was expected to become an Officer in the Army and to marry an heiress. I was devastated when he left Cyprus to marry her. I swore I would never allow myself to trust a man again and vowed to never give my heart to another."

"I know what it's like to be betrayed by the man you love," I reached for Victoria's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I know you do, Molly. Bones told me what your ex-fiancé did to you, which is why I wanted you to know my story."

"How did you survive having your heart broken like that?" I wondered, knowing how much I had struggled since Charles had abandoned me for her.

"It wasn't easy, but like you, I focused on doing what was necessary to survive. When I returned to England, I moved back to London. I took a secretarial course during the evenings and worked at a café in the City during the day," Victoria began. "One day, Arthur came to the café for lunch. I honestly thought he was just another toffee nosed tosser in a three-piece suit and hardly paid him any attention. For the next four months, he would regularly frequent the café, always asking to be seated in my section, yet never uttering more than his lunch order to me. The few times I attempted to make conversation with him, he looked at me like I was some gormless 'Essex girl'. After that, I decided he was a total prat and didn't make the mistake of engaging in conversation with him again."

"What changed your opinion of him?"

"One day, some arsehole trader decided to get all handsy with me and would not leave me alone. He tried to squeeze my bum and the next thing I knew, Arthur had him up against a wall and was threatening to dismember him if he didn't apologize to me and leave the café immediately."

"That sounds like someone I might know," I grinned.

"It does, doesn't it?" Victoria laughed. "Bones may not believe it, but he does have a bit of his father in him."

"What happened next?" I was curious to know more about Victoria's unlikely relationship with her husband.

"I asked Arthur why he had defended me like that when he barely seemed to acknowledge my existence outside of his lunch order. He told me that he had fancied me like mad since the first day he had come into the café, but hadn't a clue as to how to win me over because he knew I would look down on him for being posh. I told him that I wasn't into posh blokes, and that I certainly wasn't going to be his fancy piece. He surprised me by telling me that if he wanted a fancy piece, he could easily obtain one without having to spend his lunch hour indulging in terrible cuisine. It was then I realised that perhaps he wasn't as toffee nosed and dull as I had thought. For the next six months he was relentless in his efforts to win me over. Single-mindedness is another trait Bones gets from his father," Victoria gave me knowing smile.

"I take it he eventually wore you down?"

"Yes. I finally agreed to go on a date with him, and it was not long after, that I realised I had found the love of my life. I told Arthur what had happened in Cyprus and he told me that my first love had been a fool."

"He's right," I agreed.

"Arthur explained that he loved my pluckiness, my intellect, and my sense of humour. He said that it didn't matter that I was born to a working-class family in Essex. He said I wouldn't possess all of the qualities he loved about me if I hadn't been born and raised in Essex. I quickly realised that even though Arthur came from all of this," Victoria motioned around the room, "he had been raised and educated to view everyone equally, regardless of their wealth, and was actually quite progressive for his time."

"He sounds like a true gentleman."

"He is," Victoria smiled. "I made Arthur propose three times before I agreed to marry him, only because I wanted him to be absolutely sure that I was the one for him. He thought I was as mad as a bag of ferrets, but knew that I was being overly cautious due to what had happened previously. I have never regretted my decision to marry Arthur and I love him even more today than I did on the day we married. I know he can be a bit reserved, but he is everything to me," she declared with great conviction.

"That's a beautiful story, Victoria. I'm so glad you shared it with me."

"The reason I wanted to share this with you, Molly, is because I want you to know that it is possible to find happiness again. I know it's not my place, and that I should not meddle, but nothing would make me happier than for you to take a chance on Bones like the chance I took on Arthur. I know that you were deeply in love with your ex-fiancé, and that he did horrible things to you, but please don't judge Bones based upon your ex-fiancé's actions."

"I won't," I promised. "I just sometimes wish Bones wasn't so closed off. It's often difficult for me to read him, and I frequently feel like I'm all over the shop around him," I confessed.

"Be patient, Molly and I promise, he will open up to you. He's like his father in that respect and I know first-hand that it takes time for him to lower his guard."

"I wish he would tell me his name. That would at least be a start."

"If I wasn't forbidden from telling you, I would. However, I'm not lying when I say that his Christian name does not really matter. He's been 'Bones' for as long as any of us can remember."

"How did he get the name nickname Bones?"

"That was from my brother. Bones worshipped his Uncle Robbie. He idolised the fact that Robbie was in the SAS and was a war hero. Robbie would spend most of his leave here with us. He taught Bones how to fish, shoot, play rugby, and swim. Whenever Robbie was here, he and Bones were inseparable. They would often pretend that they were on secret SAS operations and would have the run of the entire Estate. One day, Robbie was explaining to Bones that everyone in the SAS used nicknames in order to protect their real identities, and that if Bones wanted to be in the SAS, he needed a nickname. This had to have been when Bones was four or five years old. At the time, he had so much energy from running wild around the Estate and constantly being on the move, that no matter how much I fed him, he was all skin and bones. Robbie affectionately called him Bones because of this, and they decided that 'Bones' should be his SAS nickname. The name stuck and soon everyone in the family started calling him Bones," Victoria explained.

"Thanks for sharing that with me, Victoria. I promise I won't tell Bones that you told me. We can't have your son giving you another rollicking this weekend, now can we?" I giggled.

"You're good for my son, Molly," Victoria smiled warmly in response. "I have strongly suspected that one of the reasons Bones has never wanted to settle down is due to Robbie's untimely death. I think he believes that he will be killed in action like his uncle, and wants to avoid the potential devastation that would come with leaving a significant other behind. He witnessed first-hand how devastating it can be for a family to lose a loved one in combat when he was only thirteen, and I believe it had a profound impact on him. It was one of the reasons Arthur and I did not object when he insisted on going to Gordonstoun instead of Eton. It's my sincerest hope, that by having met you, along with his upcoming promotion to Major, that he starts to realise that what happened to Robbie won't necessarily happen to him, and that he shouldn't allow his fears to stand in the way of his happiness. One of my deepest regrets is the fact that Robbie never found his one true love before he died. I would be devasted if the same were to happen to my son."

"May I ask you a question, Victoria?"

"Of course," Bones's mum welcomed.

"Did you ever see your first love again after Cyprus?"

"I did," she confirmed.

"What was it like?" I wondered, still feeling at odds over having seen Charles earlier.

"It was at Robbie's funeral of all places. He'd been promoted to Colonel by then and had heard what had happened and wanted to pay his respects to me. If I'm truly honest, I found it peculiar. It certainly was neither the time nor the place for him to reappear into my life. I think what surprised me the most at the time was that I felt absolutely nothing for him. Arthur had become everything to me by then and I was secure in the fact that I had a husband who loved and cherished me in ways that he had never been capable of demonstrating to me," Victoria revealed.

"I was afraid that if I were to see my ex again it would bring back all of my feelings of heartbreak and betrayal. I also dreaded the thought of him seeing how much he had hurt me," I confessed. "I never expected that he would feel like a stranger, which is how I felt when I saw him today. I felt as if everything that happened hadn't happened to me, but to someone else. Do you know he actually had the audacity to tell Bones that he loved me today? Who the hell does he think he is? He was the one who jilted me and ran off with another woman. How dare he say he loves me," I shook my head in disgust, angry that he could say such a thing when his actions had proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that he hadn't loved me at all. If he had, he would never have done such a despicable thing to me.

"Men can be strange creatures. My ex started hounding me after Robbie's funeral. He actually had the nerve to tell me that I was still the love of his life and that he had never stopped loving me. He foolishly thought by telling me that his wife had recently filed for divorce, that I would up and leave Arthur to be with him."

"You're joking?" I looked back at Victoria with astonishment, appalled by the sheer imprudence of the man.

"I told him that I wouldn't touch him with a bloody bargepole. I also proceeded to tell him that he was a complete and utter fool if he thought I would give his suggestion the slightest consideration."

"How did he respond?"

"He was astounded. I think the man was arrogant enough to think that I still pined for him after so many years. I disabused him of such an outrageous notion by telling him in no uncertain terms that Arthur was the love of his life, not him. I also took great pride in informing him that Arthur was one hundred times the man he would ever be. I then suggested he sod off and go back to his wife and son."

"Good for you!" I was inspired by the way that Victoria had stood her ground and maintained her dignity in front of the bastard who had broken her heart.

"Unbeknownst to me, Arthur paid him a visit and told him exactly what he thought of him in no uncertain terms."

"Why does that not surprise me," I laughed, thinking of the way that Bones had defended me in front of Charles. "Did you ever see or hear from him again?"

"I heard that he went crawling back on his knees to his wife and begged for forgiveness. Not only had he been a terribly absent husband from what I understand, he had also been an unfaithful one, but certainly not with me. I would never tolerate such despicable behaviour from any man.

Ironically enough, his son ended up being at Sandhurst with Bones. I had the unfortunate pleasure of seeing him again at Bones's passing out. I was astonished to find him humble and gracious. He thanked me for setting him straight after Robbie died and told me that he had reconciled with his wife. They had gone on to have two more children and now had a happy marriage. He revealed that not fighting for me was his deepest regret and that he would always love me. He told me that he was happy that I had ended up with the better man in the end and wished me well."

"That is unbelievable. Does Bones know any of this?" I couldn't help but wonder.

"No. He's extremely protective of those he loves and Arthur and I didn't want to put him in an awkward position with respect to his career. Besides, I hear he's retired now, and that his son did not join the Special Forces. I highly doubt their paths have crossed. I would appreciate it if you did not say anything to Bones about this. It's all water under the bridge now and I wouldn't want Bones to do anything foolish to jeopardise his promotion."

"Of course," I agreed. "Thank you for sharing this with me. It gives me hope that maybe I can find happiness again. As for Bones, I will be patient and keep trying to break through his armour. He may not be an open book, but I know that underneath his tough exterior he's a good man."

"I'm relieved to hear that, Molly. I promise that if you give my son a chance, you will not be disappointed."

-X-

After finishing our conversation, I decided it was time for bed and headed upstairs to Bones's room. The room was empty, which meant that Bones was likely still out for his run. I couldn't help but smile when I found another one of Bones's T-shirts folded on my pillow with a note.

Poppet,

I thought you might be more comfortable in this, as opposed to the nightwear my mother acquired for you. Knowing Mum, it's likely see-through.

Don't wait up for me.

~ B

In his own way, Bones was showing me that, not only did he listen to my needs, he also respected them. If only Charles had done the same. Maybe Victoria was right, maybe Charles wasn't the love of my life. Maybe there was someone else out there for me. Someone like Bones…

Pennyhill Park Hotel

Bagshot, Surrey

United Kingdom

"Is Sam asleep?" My father set down his whiskey glass and looked up at me.

"Yes," I gave a stiff nod in reply.

"I know you're angry with me, but I assure you, I had my reasons for today."

"You always do," I acknowledged with a trace of sarcasm. Even with our newfound bond, I still recognised that my father could be a manipulative bastard when it suited him.

"While I would like nothing more than to offer you an explanation, I think it's time you told your mother the truth. You cannot keep her in the dark forever."

"I know," I raked a hand through my hair, dreading the conversation ahead of me.

"She's out on the terrace, doing her best to avoid me. I suspect you're not the only one who is angry with me today," my father observed.

"She couldn't possibly be angrier with you, than she's likely to be with me. Especially once I've told her everything," I mused.

"Try to remember that no matter how angry she gets, she's still your mum, and she will always love you, regardless of what has transpired. You can do this, Charlie. I know you can," my father reassured me.

-X-

I opened the terrace doors and approached my mother with great trepidation. While my relationship with my father had been distant and often strained, my mum had always been my champion. Having been an only child for the first fourteen years of my life, with a father who was often absent, my mum had been the one to nurture and support me.

I was born shortly after my father had been deployed to the Falkland Islands. Mum had taken it in stride just like she had with all of his other tours. No matter where in the world my father had been, I knew that I could always count on my mum to be there for me. She had witnessed all of my firsts, and had celebrated all of my accomplishments. She made me feel special and loved, and I had adored her for this. To this day, I cherished the close bond that we had formed while my father had been away.

Mum had fully supported my decision to attend Eton College, even when it had gone against my father's wishes. I had flourished there, and had been grateful for Mum's support and encouragement. Even after Andrew and Emily came along, my mum had always made time for me, and had ensured that I always knew that I was loved and supported by her. It had been Mum who had proudly attended my graduation from Eton while my father had been in Sierra Leone, and Mum who had helped me settle at Oxford.

Though she never openly expressed it, I sensed that she has been disappointed when I had decided to follow in my father's footsteps and apply to Sandhurst. I think she had hoped that I would take a different path from the one chosen by my father. Yet, I had always known that I was destined for the Army. It was in my blood. It was also the one thing I could do that would allow me to obtain the approval that I had so desperately craved from my father.

Mum had been delighted when I had proposed to Rebecca. My parents had been close to Rebecca's since before I had been born, and Rebecca and I knew that both parents expected us to marry. With this in mind, I had made sure to sow my wild oats while at Oxford, as I knew that once I completed Sandhurst, I would fulfil my parents' expectations and marry Rebecca.

My subsequent divorce, had been another cause of disappointment for my mother. She had thought that I hadn't devoted the time and effort necessary to be a loving and supportive husband. Mum questioned how I had ever thought to build a solid foundation in my marriage when I was never home. She also expressed her displeasure at my lack of involvement with Sam. While I loved Sam, and enjoyed being a father, I knew that my constantly being away failed to provide him with the stability he deserved. However as much as I knew that I should look for a UK based role, and focus on my marriage and son, the allure of going on tour and escaping a domesticated lifestyle kept pulling me away.

I know that I had devastated Mum with what I had done to Molly. She had come to love Molly as if Molly were her own daughter, and could not wait for us to marry. Mum had been convinced that this was a real and lasting chance at happiness for me. She thought that with Molly being in the Army, she would have a much better understanding of the demands that the Army would place on our marriage and would know how to manage them. I knew that I had broken my mum's heart by doing what I did to Molly. It was evident from the text messages, e-mails, and letters she sent to me in Bangladesh, all of which demanded an explanation for my disgraceful behaviour. An explanation that I had been unwilling to provide until now.

After my complete breakdown in Bangladesh, my father had flown with me back to the UK where he had arranged for my admission into a facility in Scotland which specialised in treating PTSD for the British Armed Forces. It had been months before I had consented to seeing my mother. After everything she had done for me, I couldn't subject her to the horror of seeing me in such a broken state. When I finally relented, and had let her come to Scotland to visit me, it was clear that she had been instructed to avoid discussing what had transpired. She had put on a brave face, and had acted as if the past several months had never occurred. Not once had she mentioned Molly or the horrible things that I had done to her. I knew Mum was worried for me, and what had become of me, but I could also sense a distance between us. It was clear that she struggled with her need as a mother to protect me and keep me safe, versus the other part of her that wanted to call me to account for what I had done. This had set the tone for our relationship going forward.

Until now, I had staunchly avoided confiding in Mum the full extent of what I had done. I couldn't bear the possibility of losing her affections once she knew just how low I had sunk. I was terrified at the thought of seeing her eyes fill with revulsion and disgust once she knew the full extent of my sins. Yet, I also knew that I could no longer hide behind the PTSD. If I had any hope of rebuilding my life, it was time I faced my demons once and for all.

-X-

"Mum?"

"Charles," my mother motioned for me sit beside her.

"Dad thinks it's time I told you everything," I offered in a hesitant voice, as I felt my body begin to fill with anxiety.

"Do you?" she countered, making it apparent that she believed this needed to be my decision and not my father's.

"Yes," I nodded.

"Are you sure?" She questioned. I could sense that she knew how difficult this was going to be for me.

"It is," I confirmed. "I'm ready."

"Given what I already know, you need to realise that this is likely going to be very difficult for me to hear. You should not expect for me to condone those actions for which I do not approve. Nor should you expect me to readily forgive certain things. However, you should also know that nothing will ever change the fact that you are my son, and I will always love you, no matter what," Mum reached for my hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze. "While I may find some of your actions reprehensible, you're still my son, Charlie, and I love you."

"Thank you, Mum. You've already given me so much more than I deserve and I am so sorry I did not have the courage to tell you everything until now. I've been a bloody coward and was terrified at the prospect of making you ashamed to call me your son."

"While I may disapprove of the things you have done, I will never be ashamed to have you as my son," she assured, "Now, perhaps you should start at the beginning. I often find it the best place to start," she invited.

-X-

"The first time I saw Molly at Brize, I hated her. Everyone thought it was because she was a gobby Cockney who had no business being a medic, let alone being in the Army."

"I remember her telling me that the two of you did not get on in the beginning. She assumed it was for the reasons you just described," my mum revealed. "Was she mistaken?"

"The first time she looked at me, it was as if she could see the man behind the uniform, a man who would never aspire to his father's greatness, a man who was a failure as a husband and a father, a man who was an average Officer at best, and a man who carried so much self-doubt he would rather runaway and live out of a bergen than settle down and face his insecurities."

"How could you think those things about yourself, Charles?" Mum asked in astonishment.

"I think you'll find there is more truth to them than you realise, Mum," I argued. "Each time Molly looked at me, I felt as if she brought all of my insecurities to the forefront. I honestly thought she was mocking me, when in reality, she was a frightened nineteen-year-old girl who had never been out of the country, and was now on her first tour with a new section full of men. Rather than show her a smidgeon of consideration or encouragement, I was a complete and total bastard to her."

"What changed your behaviour towards her?"

"It started when she risked her life to save Smurf. She was fucking awesome. It reminded me of how you had raised me not to judge and to treat everyone with respect. I knew at that moment that I had been a complete arse by taking my own insecurities out on her when I should have been leading her and developing her skills. It wasn't until I put aside my insecurities, that I realised that behind her façade, she was highly intelligent, quick witted, courageous as hell, and had the biggest heart I had ever seen."

"She still does," Mum gave me a faint smile.

"Unlike the others in my Sections, Molly actually cared about the plight of the Afghan people and wanted our efforts to make a difference in their lives. She challenged me to think beyond the day-to-day Army grind, to consider why we were there, and to see the positive impact we could make on people's lives. As much as it embarrasses me to say this, I hadn't given much thought to this, on my first three tours in Afghan. Molly, changed that for me. She forced me to engage my brain, rather than blindly follow orders like I had in the past. She made me realise that the little things we did on the ground mattered. For the first time, I felt I had more to offer the Army than my pedigree, and that perhaps I did have it in me to make a real and lasting difference."

"You've always had it in you to make a difference, Charles. I'm glad Molly made you realise it."

"She did, and I am eternally grateful to her for that. While I have made a dog's breakfast out of my career, at least I can take some comfort in knowing that I helped improve people's lives in Afghan and in Africa. It's something that I have come to recognise through my therapy sessions with Dr Warner."

"I'm so glad you have continued them, Charles. Your father and I are both very proud of the progress you have made with him. Promise me you'll keep seeing him," Mum encouraged.

"I will," I promised, no longer wanting to be the hollowed-out shadow of myself that I had become. "I appreciate that things would likely be different if I had faced my demons early on, instead of hiding from them like I did. While I cannot change the past, Dr Warner has been helping me focus on the present and has been instrumental in helping me take small, but necessary steps forward."

"You've been doing great with Sam since you returned from Scotland. I know things are still awkward at times between you two, but he is both relieved and grateful to have you back in his life."

"I have you, father, Rebecca, and her husband to thank for that, after I essentially abandoned him when I ran off to Bangladesh."

"None of us doubts your love for Sam, Charles, but you should also know that what you did to Sam was devastating to him. This is your final chance to make things right and to build a lasting relationship with your son. PTSD or not, if you even so much as think of going off the rails again, there will be no second chances with Sam. Your father and I agree with Rebecca that Sam's welfare must come first, which is why we approved of her decision to maintain sole custody of him for now."

"Rebecca is right. It's no less than I deserve, and I agree that Sam's welfare must come first."

"He was so happy to see Molly today. I think we sometimes forget that he didn't just lose you, he lost Molly too. Sam adored her, and it was clear today that he still does. I'll never forget having to explain to Sam why you no longer married wanted to marry Molly when I didn't have any answers of my own. It was one the worst things I have ever had to do as a parent."

"I'm sorry I put you in that position," I raked a hand through my curls. It killed me inside to know that I had been such a selfish bastard that I hadn't considered how my actions would impact my family. "I honestly didn't consider the consequences of my actions. I was so consumed with my own issues, that I was incapable of realising the full extent of the devastation I had caused."

"Do you recognise the damage you have caused to those who loved you?" Mum questioned. "I would be lying if I said that I haven't struggled with the ramifications of your decisions. I'd like to think it was down to your illness, but I think we both know that is not entirely true."

"You're right," I gave a grim nod in confirmation.

"You see, Charles, the man you became, was the same man I was married to for the first fourteen years of my marriage. As much as you say that you wanted your father's approval, you behaved exactly like your father. You were arrogant, selfish, entitled, manipulative, and put your needs before those of the ones who loved you. My biggest fear when you applied to Sandhurst was that you would become your father. It's why I encouraged you to go to Eton and not Gordonstoun. I didn't want you to fall prey to his influence. Your father was not a good man for a very long time, and it wasn't until after Andrew was born that he changed."

"He implied as much in Scotland." I didn't want to bring up the subject of my father's affair and hurt my mother further.

-X-

"I knew Molly was destined for brilliant things in the Army, and I loved being the one to champion and mentor her. For the first time, I felt like I was truly making a difference in someone's life, and I relished having that influence over her. While she used to claim she didn't do perfect, I know that I was perfect in her eyes and that she hero worshipped me."

"Which only fed your ego and arrogance," Mum surmised.

"I used to love teaching her new things and giving her new experiences. I liked having her beholden to me. I know it was wrong, but I loved the fact that she was insecure enough to need me, and that, only I, could provide her with the things she had never truly had; love, a normal family, security, stability, and money. I was so terrified of losing her love and adoration that I proposed and moved her to Bath before she had the opportunity to grow and flourish with her newfound independence. I was scared that if I didn't bind her to me in every way possible, she would ultimately leave me."

"Charles, did you ever really love Molly?" Mum questioned. "Or did you convince yourself that you did, because of your ability to control her?"

"I may have loved her for the wrong reasons at the beginning, but I know now that what I feel for her is real."

"If you loved her, why did you abandon her? That's what I don't understand."

"It was Elvis, Mum," I revealed. "Elvis's death was the catalyst that led to the destruction of our relationship."

-X-

"It's my fault that Elvis is dead," I took a deep breath, before confessing to the fact that I had been the one responsible for my best mate's death. "During my last stint in Afghan, I was paired with Captain Aziz from the Afghan Army. I had worked with him on my previous tours, and had built a good rapport with him over the years. He had always been trustworthy and reliable, giving me no reason to think that he had changed since the last time we had worked together. It turns out he was bent. One of my Privates tried to warn me that she had overheard him having a dodgy conversation and thought he might be bent, but I automatically dismissed her warnings. I did not so much as stop to consider if there might be any validity to them. Had I just taken a bloody moment to pause, and investigate her allegations, Elvis would still be alive," I choked, feeling myself become emotional over how I had failed my best mate.

"You don't know that Charlie," Mum reached for my hand again, and gave it another reassuring squeeze. "I'm sure you're C.O., your psychiatrist, the counsellors you worked with in Scotland, and your Father have all told you this. Even if you had heeded your Private's warning, that does not necessarily mean that you could have prevented what happened to Elvis or that he would still be alive today. You have to realise that Elvis knew and accepted the risks associated with being in the Special Forces. The last thing he would want is for you to blame yourself for what happened to him. Especially, when what happened was not your fault."

"The investigation into Elvis's death did not see it that way, Mum. Brigadier Clayton shared the final report from the Army investigators with me. The investigators found that I had exercised poor judgment not just with Aziz, but with other factors as well. The report also found that I had been negligent in not reporting Lane's emotional involvement with Elvis, and that I allowed her judgment to become impaired, which likely contributed to Elvis's death. Not only did a I receive a severe bollocking from Brigadier Clayton, the report was also made part of my personnel file, which effectively squandered any hopes I'd had of being promoted to Major."

"You don't know that," Mum argued. "Everyone makes mistakes. It's how you recover from those mistakes that define you as a person."

"I know that now," I murmured. "Unfortunately, I was too blind to realise it then."

"If understand this correctly, you blamed yourself for Elvis's death and then proceeded to hide the guilt and devastation you were feeling from those who loved you and wanted to help you with your grief?"

"Yes," I winced.

"Why didn't you come to me or Molly with any of this? You know we would have listened and would have done anything in our power to help you."

"It was bad enough Father knew I had become a total failure based upon the Army's investigation. The last thing I wanted was for you or Molly to learn how I had failed Elvis. How was Molly supposed to trust me enough to be her husband, when I could not even keep my best mate alive?"

"That's ridiculous," Mum protested. "Molly would never think that, especially with her medical training."

"I couldn't bear the thought of her knowing about my failures in judgment and my lack of competence. Not, when she still thought I was a hero. It was easier to hide behind my uniform and seek out the next tour than to admit the truth to her."

"Which is why you went to Nigeria when even your father, of all people, thought it was too soon?"

"Yes. I needed to escape from the knowledge that I was a failure, and the possibility of Molly discovering the truth. I also felt that I owed it to Lane. Watching Elvis die in her arms had left Lane completely broken. I knew that she, like me, was struggling to function at home. I felt tremendous guilt knowing that my actions had robbed her of Elvis. They had only recently reunited and had so little time together. I owed it to her, after destroying her future, to protect her and to keep her safe. I told myself it was what Elvis would have wanted, and that he would have done the same for Molly had our situations been reversed."

"Somehow I don't think Elvis would have wanted you to betray Molly or to engage in a sexual relationship with Georgie," Mum pointed out, none too gently. "You didn't just betray Molly; you also betrayed your best friend's memory."

"I know that now. Believe me when I say that I am not proud of what I have done. I can only imagine what Elvis would say to me if he were still alive."

"He'd certainly lace into you both physically and verbally. While Elvis certainly had his own flaws, he would never abide by your disloyalty."

"It's hard for me to explain what was going through my head at that time. My thoughts were completely jumbled and guilt kept constantly eating away at me day after day. I know this sounds irritational, but I was convinced that if Molly were to discover that the man hiding behind his uniform had feet of clay, she would immediately leave. I kept having nightmares that would replay Elvis's death over and over again. However, instead dying in Georgie's arms, it would be Molly's arms he would die in. Each time he died she would look at me with such horror and disillusion before telling me that I was a coward and that everything was my fault. I became terrified that this would become my reality."

"Why on earth would you think such a thing?" Mum demanded. "Molly is one of the most generous, loving, and kind women I have ever met. She would never judge you for what happened to Elvis, let alone think you were less of a man. Yes, Molly adored you, but it had nothing to do with the fact you were an Officer in the Army, the son of a Lieutenant General, or from an upper class family. She loved the man you were at your core, not the bloody uniform. I cannot believe that you would be so foolish as to not even recognise something so fundamental about the woman you claimed to have loved," my mother chastised me, clearly appalled by my lack of faith in Molly. "Did you ever stop to consider that if you had acknowledged your fears and communicated them to Molly, that she would have stood by and supported you while you sought the help that you needed?

"Honestly, no. I know that it seems obvious now, but at the time, I was so deep in my head that I failed to recognise that she was the only person who could save me."

"Instead, you callously shut her out. She was worried sick when you insisted in going to Nigeria so soon after Elvis had died. She knew that you had been hit hard with grief over Elvis and had felt that it was too soon for both you and Georgie to return to active duty. I remember her accusing the Army doctor who had evaluated you both of being a charlatan and begging Edward to intervene."

"It wasn't the doctor's fault. By that time, I was giving BAFTA winning performances in normalcy on a daily basis. I doubt any doctor would have noticed what was really going on inside of my head."

"Molly did. In hindsight I wish I had listened to her concerns instead of dismissing them. Molly assumed that you had felt survivor's guilt over the fact that you hadn't saved been able to save Elvis, and that you were trying to assuage your guilt by being over protective with respect to Georgie's welfare. I was horrified when your brother told me that there was much more to it than that. It makes me ill to think that the entire time I was reassuring Molly that everything would be fine, and that you still loved her and wanted to marry her, you were obsessing and lusting after Lane."

"You don't think it makes me ill knowing what I did?" I challenged.

"Then why the hell did you do that to Molly?" Mum demanded, clearly needing answers.

"At first, I told myself that Elvis would want me to look after Lane and that I owed it to him to take care of her. It was my fault that I had robbed her of the chance to find happiness and seeing her so dreadfully unhappy created a desperate need for me to atone for what I had done to her. I also missed Elvis. He had been my best mate and one of the few people who truly understood me. We'd always had each other's backs and he was no longer there to set me straight or to confide in. Being near Lane made me feel like Elvis was alive. I convinced myself that she was the only person who truly understood my bond with Elvis, that she was the only person I could count on to keep his memory alive, and to help me atone for what I had done."

"Did Georgie recognise that she had become a coping mechanism for you to assuage your guilt?"

"I think we become each other's coping mechanisms, after our tour in Nigeria, which is why we were eager to go to Belize. We had become co-dependant on one another to function in the midst of our grief. Molly and I had a huge fight the night before I went to Belize. It was the first time she accused me of having PTSD. She demanded that I stop hiding behind my uniform and seek help. I remember feeling terrified inside that she had finally discovered the man I had been trying so hard to hide from her. Instead of listening to her, I raged at her and told her that she was the one who needed help, not me. I accused her of allowing her insecurities to make her irrational and then told her that I was sick of being with someone who was so insecure. At one point my temper became so out of control I worried I might hit her. There was a moment where she actually looked afraid of me, and it shamed me greatly. I tried to apologise to her the following morning before I left for Brize, but she wasn't having any of it. She reiterated that I needed help and that she hoped that I would recognise that I needed it soon. She advised me to be careful, but held back from telling me she loved me or touching me. I spent the entire flight to Belize agonizing over what I had done."

"Oh, Charles," Mum's eyes welled with tears.

"Once we were in Belize, I put Molly out of my mind and focused on Lane. I told myself that Lane needed to be my priority and that she was the only person who understood what I was going through. I decided that the best thing I could do for myself was to help Lane with her grief and to atone for what I had done. I found that if I devoted all of my energy to Lane, I could cope with the guilt and grief that had been eating away at me. I found myself thinking about her to the point of obsession. I started comparing her to Molly, which was wrong. Instead of acknowledging that Molly was right, I would wonder what it would be like to be with someone like Lane. Someone who was confident and extraordinarily beautiful. It became clear to me that if Lane could not have Elvis, perhaps the best way I could atone for what I had done was to give myself to her. Suddenly everything seemed to make sense. I doubted that Molly wanted me anymore, not after seeing the man I was behind my uniform. She was also excelling at Uni and was doing extremely well as a Lance Corporal. Even if she lacked confidence at times, I knew deep down she had no real need for me. Elvis, in wanting me to look after Georgie, would know that I was honouring he wishes by keeping her safe and loving her in his place. The only real obstacle standing in my way was Lane. I needed for her to see that this was the perfect solution to restoring her happiness."

"You really believed this?" my mother questioned, trying to wrap her mind around my twisted way of thinking at the time.

"As improbable as it sounds, I did," I acknowledged. "Stepping on the boar trap was a complete and total school boy error on my part. Had I been focused on my job and not obsessing over Lane, it never would have happened. I think it only served to highlight just how skewed my judgment had become. Before Elvis's death I would have never put my personal feelings before the mission. I had only made an error in judgment like that once before, and it nearly cost me my life as well as Molly's. It was while we were waiting for to be rescued that I confessed my feelings to Lane. I told her that things with Molly had fallen apart and asked Lane if she could ever love me. I told her that I had developed feelings for her, and she thought I had become delusional from fever. I told her I was serious, but she refused to believe me."

"How could you do that when Molly was back home desperately worried for your safety? She was absolutely beside herself when she learned that you had been injured and did not sleep the entire time you and Georgie were missing. She was desperate to see you as soon as you arrived at Queen Elizabeth and would not leave your bedside until your fever broke. You tell me that's not genuine love?"

"She was furious with me once the fever broke."

"Of course, she was," My mum defended. "You refused to listen to her concerns and wound up injuring yourself because of it."

"She told me that she was fed up with my excuses and lies and that I needed to admit that I had PTSD. I responded by accusing her of being deluded once again. She refused to back down and said that it was obvious that the PTSD had started after Elvis's death. Molly then went on to say that the Nigerian tour and training exercise in Belize has only served to further exacerbate my symptoms."

"She was right," Mum sighed. "You have no idea how much your father and I regret not taking her concerns seriously.

"Molly demanded I seek treatment. She told me that my condition would only worsen if I continued along the course that I had set for myself. She warned me that I was headed down a path to destruction, and that if I continued to deny I had a problem, I was risking not only my career, but everything I held dear."

"How did you respond to this?"

"I went off on her and said some horrible things to her, the worst of which was suggesting she be more like Lane. The hurt and betrayal on her face will haunt me until my dying day. It sickens me to think that I had gone from being her staunchest supporter to someone who would rather verbally abuse the woman he loved than admit to having a problem and needing help."

"I'm afraid I made things worse by telling Molly that you just needed time off to relax away from the Army. I promised her that once you were on your honeymoon, and way from all of the stress, that you would return to your normal self."

"Don't blame yourself, Mum. You had no idea what was happening inside of my head."

"I know, but it upsets me greatly to know that I did not provide Molly the support she needed."

"I'm sure she doesn't hold it against you, Mum. You know she's not like that," I assured, wishing I could say the same for my own sins.

"I honestly don't know what she thinks, Charles. I hadn't seen her since the wedding until six weeks ago."

"I had no idea."

"How could you? The doctors made it clear to us while you were in Scotland that she was the one topic we were forbidden from mentioning to you. Your father and I have been afraid to broach the subject of Molly since then."

"Is that what today was about? Was it Father's way of forcing me to confront the proverbial elephant in the room?"

"Yes," Mum confirmed.

"How bloody typical of him," I lamented. "Why couldn't he have discussed her with me instead?"

"Perhaps it is because your father recognises that you are just as stubborn as he is at times."

"I suppose you have a point. He certainly made his point today. Loud and clear."

"That he did," Mum concurred.

-X

"What happened with Georgie after you returned home from Belize," Mum invited me to continue my story.

"I became a hard nut with Molly. I was fed up with her attempts to meddle with her PTSD rubbish and made it clear that I was not interested in being around her unless she dropped her conspiracy theories. At the same time, I was obsessed with seeing Lane again. I texted, telephoned, and e-mailed her constantly while in hospital. I was desperate for her to know that I hadn't been delirious with fever and that my feelings for her were real. I was eager to begin my rehabilitation as I wanted to get back to Lane as soon as possible. Especially, since Bones was now her C.O. I didn't put it past Bones to have it off with her being the renowned womanizer that he is."

"At some point, you and I need to have a serious conversation about Bones," Mum indicated. "However, I would rather it not be today."

"Once at Headley Court, Molly insisted on visiting me often, which prompted me to tell her that that I found her to be distracting me from my rehab. I none too gently suggested that she remain in Birmingham and Bath so that she could focus on her exams and the wedding. In reality I was desperate for Lane to visit and I didn't want Molly to be in the way."

"And did she visit?" Mum asked, her disgust at my behaviour more than evident in her eyes.

"She did. I swore to Lane that she only needed to say the world and I would leave Molly for her. I told Lane that I wasn't sure I even loved Molly anymore and that it was her that I wanted. I could tell I was making Lane uncomfortable and she advised me to stay away from her and to focus on repairing my relationship with Molly. This only served to fuel my motivation to finish rehab. I was fully committed to making Lane happy again and refused to back down in my quest to have her."

"Why didn't you end things with Molly then?" Mum questioned.

"There was a part of me that couldn't bring myself to hurt her. She was in the midst of her exams and about to graduate. I didn't want to jeopardise her future career, not when she had worked tremendously hard to achieve her goals and had come such a long way from the teenage girl I had met in Afghan."

"So, you just decided to string her along and placate her?"

"I tried, but by that point, Molly, being Molly, knew something was afoot with Lane. She came to Headley Court after her exams to confront me. She accused me of being in love with Lane and I flew into a rage. I had never been so angry in my life. I told her that I was sick of being with someone who lacked self-confidence and that I'd had enough of her trying to sabotage our relationship as a result of her insecurities. I advised Molly that if she was going to continue to act paranoid and make ridiculous accusations like the one she had made about Lane, then perhaps I would be better off with someone like Lane instead."

"Oh, Charles, how could you say that to Molly?" Mum shook her head in disbelief.

"I thought that perhaps I had finally done it and had pushed Molly too far. Yet, I had forgotten how tenacious she is with those she loves. She literally got down on her knees and begged me to get help before it was too late. I'll never forget how vulnerable she looked, with tears streaming down her face, pleading with me to see reason when all I wanted was to leave her for another woman."

"I hope you recognise what that likely cost Molly," Mum murmured sadly.

"It was the moment I realised that I needed to protect her from what I had become. Even in the numb state that I was in, I knew that I had to free her or else I would take her down with me. I wasn't completely oblivious to the fact that I was headed down a path towards destruction, or I that I was taking Molly with me."

"I remember her being very upset when she returned from visiting you that afternoon. She was extremely subdued and hardly ate a thing. Emily told me the next morning that Molly had spent the entire night crying in your room. I honestly didn't know what to do. I think Molly knew that Edward and I didn't believe that you had PTSD and she felt helpless. She let us push her to go ahead with the wedding even when it was clear that she was filled with self-doubt. Had I any inkling that you would jilt her, I would never have pressured her the way I did. It did not help matters that you seemed perfectly normal when you came back from Headley Court for Molly's graduation. For a moment, Edward and I honestly believed that you had returned to your normal self."

"After Molly's visit, I thought long and hard about how to end our relationship. Deep inside of myself, I knew that she my one true love in my heart, not Lane, yet I refused to let myself admit this. I also knew that I was past the point of rescue. There was nothing Molly could do to save me, no matter how much she wanted to save me."

"When did you decide to jilt her?"

"Shortly before her graduation. By that point I was deep in the throes of PTSD. It was like I had detached myself completely from Molly, Sam, you, Father, Andrew, and Emily. I felt persistent guilt, anger, and shame, so much so, that it consumed my every waking thought. Even though Molly and I were barely speaking, I knew that I had to be the one to let her go. If I didn't, there was a distinct possibility I would take her down with me and ultimately destroy her. Regardless of my feelings for Lane, it had become clear to me that I was bad for Molly. Time and time again I had been verbally abusive and unpleasant towards her. I couldn't seem to control my anger around her. I realise now that it was because she was the only person who recognised what was wrong with me and it terrified me. I worried that if she continued to push me to admit that I had PTSD and to seek help, I might do something worse than I had already done to her. Suddenly all that mattered was protecting her from me. It was imperative that I kept her safe from me as I no longer trusted myself around her. I recalled that when Elvis had jilted Lane, Molly had found his actions unforgiveable. She had told me that no woman could ever forgive such a callous and cowardly act, and that she didn't blame Lane for freezing him out. Molly went on to tell me that the two things she could never forgive were infidelity and abandonment. I know this had to do with the fact that her first boyfriend before me had cheated on her with her best mate, and that as much as she had claimed to be over her family cutting her off when she joined the Army, I knew that she still felt a sense of abandonment from them."

"Are you trying to tell me that you jilted Molly, not only because of your feelings for Lane, but because you were afraid you might harm her?" Mum looked aghast at my revelation.

"Yes," I admitted. "I honestly thought that by abandoning Molly at the Registry Office I could save her from the depths of my depravity. The way I saw it, the only way I could protect her was to do something so unforgivable, she would never want to see me again. While I knew she would not understand why I had chosen to do it, I knew that she was much stronger than I was, and that she was resilient enough to rebuild her life and to find success and happiness without me. At the time, I thought it was the only option available to me, which is why I pretended that everything was normal again once I returned from Headley Court. I could not risk arousing any suspicions and foiling my plan."

"How did Bangladesh fit into all of this?"

"Believe it or not, it was a coincidence. Two days before the wedding, my C.O. telephoned and asked if I would be willing to go to Bangladesh. Apparently, Bones was urgently needed for an operation with his regiment. With things still unresolved with Lane, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to convince her, once and for all, that we were destined for each other. Unbeknownst to me, Lane had been questioning her feelings for me ever since the day she had visited me at Headley Court. She telephoned me that evening and asked if we could meet. I asked her to meet me at Gainsborough Hotel the following evening. I met her there after the rehearsal dinner. I was astonished when she confessed to having feelings for me, asked me to reconsider marrying Molly, and begged me to go with her to Bangladesh instead."

"Please tell me you at least waited until after the morning of the wedding to be intimate with Georgie," Mum sighed.

"I wish I could," I looked down with shame.

"And your brother?"

"I texted him the next morning and told him that I would not be showing up for the wedding. I told him to tell Molly that it was over and refused to answer any of his subsequent messages or calls. I then left the Gainsborough with Lane and travelled to Brize Norton with her where we met up with the rest of 2 Section and boarded a flight to Bangladesh."

"I honestly don't even know what to say, Charles," mum looked at me with deep sadness in her eyes. "To even think that you could do such a thing, ill or not, is beyond comprehension. Do you know what it feels like to think that while I was helping Molly into her wedding gown you were you were awakening from a lust filled tryst with Georgie?"

"Not a day goes by where I don't question how I could have behaved in such a despicable manner towards Molly," I confessed, barely holding my emotions in check.

-X-

"What happened in Bangladesh," my mother prompted, knowing full well there was more to my story that I had yet to reveal.

"Lane and I were in absolute shambles. Neither of us had any business being there, especially when we were both unfit for service. Both of us made several errors in judgment and broke at least a dozen Army regulations, the worst of which was being both emotionally and sexually involved. I had gone from being a man of integrity and principle to someone completing lacking in any form of moral compass. I had become the man that I had always feared I was deep inside of me."

"And the cliff jump?"

"Our operation had descended into complete and utter chaos due to a widespread lack of leadership on my part. I let 2 Section run amuck and had several serious lapses in judgment that ultimately led to us being outnumbered and outmanoeuvred by a local drug cartel. We found ourselves under attack with no place to go. Our only hope for survival was to jump off a cliff. While we all agreed it was our only option, in hindsight, I saw the jump as a potential way out from the utter misery my life had become. While I had thought that being with Lane would allow for me to atone for my mistakes and to find a way to salvation, it turns out I was wrong. Being with Lane only drew me deeper into the depths of PTSD and made me feel like I was drowning in an endless ocean with no hope of rescue. By the time we jumped off of that cliff I had reached a point where the PTSD had such a tight grip over me that I knew there was no way back for me. Jumping provided me with an opportunity to escape from the ravages of PTSD and the mess that I had made out of my life," I confessed, prompting Mum to burst into tears.

"It breaks my heart to know that you could even think doing such a thing, Charles," she choked, prompting me to wrap my arms around her and hold her close as we both cried.

-X-

"I'm so sorry, Mum," I whispered with tear filled eyes several minutes later.

"Not a day goes by where I haven't thanked God for your survival," Mum confessed, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Losing you would have destroyed me, Charlie."

"I never wanted to cause you pain, Mum. I was just so overwhelmed with guilt and shame that I honestly didn't know what to do."

"Which is why it is imperative stick with your therapy, Charles. I don't want you to ever feel like you need to shut your family out again. We are here for you, no matter what," Mum assured.

"I know. I wish it hadn't taken jumping off of a bloody cliff for me to wake up and realise the enormity of my sins. I've never told anyone this, except for Dr Warner, but there was a moment in Afghan with Molly, where we honestly thought we might die. I remember thinking that if I were to die, I wanted Molly to be the last thing I saw. I told her this shortly after, and she confessed that she had felt the same. As I found myself descending from the cliff and plunging into the river, all I could picture was Molly. It devastates me to think that out of all of the promises I made to her and then broke, that was the only one that I kept," I wept.

"Oh, Charlie," Mum sniffled before pulling me into her embrace and comforting me like she had when I was a young boy who had awoken from a nightmare.

"I just wish I could take it all back," I cried. "I know I cannot, but I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for what I did to her."

"I know, let it all out sweetheart," Mum gently stroked my back in an attempt to comfort me, knowing the pain I still carried.

-X-

"I'm sorry," I murmured sheepishly after composing myself once again.

"Don't apologise, Charles. You need to let yourself grieve and accept what has happened. You also need to remember that you survived, and sought the help and support you needed. If Bones hadn't rescued you, and you hadn't received the help you so desperately needed, I don't know what I would have done."

"I know," I acknowledged. "As much as I despise Bones, I do owe him a debt of gratitude. I only remember bits and pieces of what happened after I plunged into the river. I know that I hit my head and that I somehow winded up on the riverbank with a concussion after being unconscious for several hours. I was fairly out of it by the time that Bones arrived with his team to rescue us. I vaguely recall that I demanded he leave me behind to die and saying that I was no longer any use to anyone. Bones refused, which led me to attack him on the riverbank. I think we fought for several minutes before I pushed him. He fell awkwardly onto a large rock and tore his ACL. I literally thought he was going to kill me at that moment. However, Bones being Bones, knocked me unconscious and then dragged me along the riverbank to the waiting rescue boat, torn ACL and all."

"That certainly sounds like Bones," Mum gave a bemused smile.

-X-

"What happened to your relationship with Georgie after you were rescued?" Mum questioned.

"I'm sure it does not surprise you to hear that, she too, was also suffering from PTSD," I replied.

"I assumed as much."

"Dad arranged for her Mum and Dad to fly out to Bangladesh and for her to obtain treatment in Manchester, so that she would be close to her parents."

"I'm glad your father was able to do that for her, all things considered."

"We talked briefly before we left Bangladesh. We both agreed that what we had done was wrong. Lane confessed that she had been using me as a replacement for Elvis and that she never really loved me. I confided in her that I had been using my feelings for her as a way to atone for the guilt I had felt. We also agreed that we were both in need of treatment for our PTSD, and that if we somehow managed to stay in the Army it would be best for us not to work together again. We didn't blame one another for what had happened, but felt it best we remain professional going forward. We wished one another well and have not seen or spoken to each other since."

"Do you still have feelings for her?" Mum wondered.

"Lane? God no. I haven't thought of her that way since the cliff jump."

"And Molly?" Mum prompted.

"I love her, Mum. I never stopped. I realise now that my guilt and grief over Elvis caused me to suppress my love for her because I felt unworthy of her. I would give anything to have her back, but I know that is not a possibility after everything I have done."

"What was it like seeing her today?"

"I wanted nothing more than to take her into my arms, hold her close, and never let her go."

"I surmised as much. You always were a tad possessive of her," Mum smiled. "Have thought about talking to her, perhaps explaining to her what happened?"

"You saw the way she looked at me today, Mum. She could not have made it clearer that she finds me repulsive and wants nothing to do with me. Besides, even if I could convince her to give me the opportunity to hear my side of the story, I doubt very much that she could ever forgive me, especially after what happened to her in Sierra Leone."

"I agree that it is unlikely Molly will forgive you, but I think telling her what happened to you and why you did what you did, might help bring you both the closure you so desperately need."

"I doubt Molly needs closure. She's moved on with bloody Bones of all people. Although what she's doing with him is beyond me. The man is a serial womanizer and is rumoured to never have sex with the same woman twice."

"That's rather strange," my mother mused. "They've been dating since April."

"I hope that the bastard isn't using her," the thought of Molly with Bones made my stomach turn.

"Why on earth would you think that, Charles?"

"The man detests me for a wide range of reasons, the least of which being that Father manipulated him into saving me from the court martial I damn well deserved. Then there's the bloody sword, his torn ACL, and his secondment to 2 Section, all of which he has me to thank for. The man is demented, Mum. You have no concept as to how his mind works. I have no doubt in my mind that the time will come for him to want his pound of flesh from me. What better way to execute his revenge then by claiming the one thing that matters most to me in the world," I declared.

-X-

Mulberry Lodge

Winchcombe

Gloucestershire

United Kingdom

I was awoken from my slumber to feel the mattress dip and a warm body lie down beside me.

"Bones?" I opened my eyes to find him next to me. "What time is it?"

"Half past two. Go back to sleep, Poppet."

"Are you just coming to bed?" I yawned.

"I told you before, I don't sleep much," he replied in the darkness.

"I like your, Mum," I remarked, effectively changing the subject.

"Hopefully she didn't tell you too many tales about me," I could sense Bones rolling his eyes even though it was dark in his room.

"She told me that I should patient with your barmy arse."

"Did she?"

"She also thinks that I should give you a chance," I whispered.

"And are you going to give our fake relationship a chance?" Bones placed his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling.

"You know damn well she wasn't referring to Operation Bellend," I pointed out, before moving up against his side and looking directly at him.

"Of course, she wasn't," he chuckled before turning serious. "The question is, Molly, are you ready to give me a chance?" Bones prompted, before wrapping his arms around me and holding me close as we fell asleep secure in one another's embrace…