Chapter Three
Trigger Warning: Graphic descriptions of violence/gore, allusion to abuse, anxiety, depression
Connor crouched behind a car parked on the street and pointed his gun at Daniel Michaels, the killer in their most recent case. The human killed two androids so far, all ST300 models, and now he held another at gunpoint, using her body to shield his from Connor and Tina's aim.
"I'm circling around back to see if I've got a shot," said Gavin in Connor's earpiece.
"Let's see if we can talk him down first," said Tina. She crouched behind a different car, aiming her gun at Daniel, who looked back and forth between Tina and Connor.
"Copy that." Gavin fell silent after his confirmation.
"Daniel, we just wanna talk!" said Tina.
Daniel shook his head. "No, no! I see your guns! Drop them!"
"We can't do that, Daniel," said Connor. "Let Katie go and we'll lower our weapons."
"No, you'll shoot me!"
"No one is going to shoot you if you just let Katie go," Connor replied calmly.
Katie clutched Daniel's arm around her neck. If she still possessed an LED, it would circle crimson. Even from across the street, Connor saw the panic on her face.
"Daniel, hurting Katie isn't going to make the pain go away," said Tina. "You're using her as a surrogate for the person you really want to hurt."
The hand with the gun shook. "Shut up!"
"That's why you keep hurting ST300 androids," said Connor. "They remind you of your wife."
Daniel glared at him. "I'm warning you!"
"Katie didn't do anything to you!" cried Tina. "Androids are not to blame for your wife leaving you!"
"Shut up!" screamed Daniel. He pointed his gun at Tina. She ducked behind the car right as Connor shot Daniel's arm. Daniel screamed and dropped his gun. He released Katie to clutch his bleeding arm. The android ran toward Tina, who crouched with her behind the car. Connor rushed forward, still pointing his gun at Daniel. Gavin emerged from behind a car behind Daniel. He kicked Daniel's gun away. Connor holstered his gun and retrieved the handcuffs. He grabbed Daniel by his hands and twisted them behind his back.
"Agh! You're hurting me!"
"You'll live," muttered Gavin. Connor cuffed Daniel. Gavin led the killer to a patrol car, reciting Daniel's rights.
Tina walked Katie over to their patrol car, parked down the street. Connor huffed, eyeing the crimson in the snow. His processor flashed with a static memory.
They stumbled out of the burning house, and Wren collapsed into the snow, too exhausted to carry Connor anymore. Thirium stained the snow blue. He glanced at his mangled leg, with wires sticking out. The white plastic cracked, allowing thirium to leak out. He was glad he couldn't feel pain. He glanced at Wren, lying in the snow, leaving patches of red in the white. She clutched her side, where blood seeped past her fingers. He reached for her. Their bloody fingers intertwined, red and blue mixing until he caught glimpses of purple.
Connor blinked, forcing himself out of the memory. Footsteps crunched the snow behind Connor. He glanced to see Tina, her arms folded against the cold.
"You okay?"
Connor swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. "I'm okay."
"Your thingy's yellow."
Connor's fingers jumped to his LED for a moment. "I'm… processing."
Tina lifted her chin, and then nodded. "Well, uh, I wanted to thank you for saving my life."
Connor met her gaze. He offered her a small smile. "Of course."
Tina gripped his arm for a moment. Her brow crinkled and she looked as though she might say something. Then, she turned back toward their patrol car and walked away, her head bowed. Connor glanced at the blood in the snow again before following her.
…
At the station, Connor finished his paperwork for the case. As soon as five o'clock hit, Gavin jumped from his seat and tugged on his jacket.
"Whelp, I'm gonna go see a movie. Anyone interested in tagging along?"
"I gotta get home to the missus," said Chris.
Gavin rolled his eyes. "Boring. Tina? You in?"
"Not tonight, Gav," said Tina, putting on her coat. She swept her hair out of the neck. "Nearly getting shot at kinda made me tired."
Gavin's shoulders slumped. "Lieutenant?"
Hank shrugged. "Yeah, why not."
Connor pursed his lips. "I'll drive you there and pick you up."
"You're not gonna go?"
"I'd rather go home."
Hank poked his cheek with his tongue. "Well, maybe I should just go home, too—"
Connor shook his head. "I'll be fine."
"I can just ride with Gavin," said Hank. He tossed his keys to Connor, who caught them with one hand. "You sure you'll be okay?"
"I'll be fine," Connor insisted. "I don't want to leave Sumo alone for too long." He smiled tightly.
Hank nodded, though his brow remained creased. He, Gavin, Tina, Chris and Connor piled onto the elevator and headed out to the parking garage. Gavin and Hank headed for Gavin's new car. Chris waved to Connor and Tina and got into his car. Connor walked Tina to her car, as Hank parked a little further away anyway.
"See ya, Connor," said Tina.
"Goodbye," Connor replied. He walked away, then slowed his pace. He stopped and turned as Tina got into her car. "Wait!"
Tina raised her eyebrows, one hand on her door, ready to pull it shut. "Yeah?"
Connor pressed his lips together. He pushed a breath through his nostrils as Gavin and Hank drove past. He met Tina's gaze. "Do you mind if I come over? I… I want to look through her room, if that's alright."
Tina's brow softened. "Yeah, sure. I'll see you at the house."
Connor nodded. Tina shut her door, and Connor walked over to Hank's car. He slid inside the driver's seat. Knights of the Black Death blared as soon as he started the engine. He turned down the music and switched it to jazz. He followed Tina to the townhouse, his biocomponents churning. He clutched the steering wheel, flexed his fingers, and then clutched it again. His LED cast a flickering, yellow glow in the reflection of the passenger side window. He parked on the street, let out a breath to cool his systems, and then exited the car. He inhaled the freezing air through his mouth, let it whistle through his teeth and into his systems. His internal temperature normalized, though his thirium pump's rhythm quickened as he knocked on the door.
Chloe answered the door. She smiled. "Hello, Connor. It's good to see you." She stepped aside and let Connor enter.
"Thank you." He stepped inside.
Tina strolled toward him. "You can take however long you want. And you know you're always welcome to stay here or something… I haven't touched her room."
Connor swallowed. "Thank you, Tina."
Tina nodded and turned to leave, her fingers intertwining with Chloe's. Tina stopped as Connor moved toward the stairs. "Hey, um… I got her half of rent in the mail today. It was in cash, so completely untraceable and all, but… It's weird. It's like she's here, but she's not. She's like a ghost."
Connor parted his lips and glanced toward the top of the stairs, almost expecting Wren to be there. His thirium pump clenched when she wasn't. Tina and Chloe strode toward the living room. Connor stood on the first step for a good fifteen seconds before ascending. His thirium pump quickened with each step. He paused outside Wren's closed door. He lifted his hand to knock, then squeezed his eyes shut. He clenched his fist and then lowered his hand. He entered the room.
It was untouched. The bed was still unmade and a laundry basket of clean clothes sat in the corner. His chest ached to see her room look exactly as she left it. It seemed like she'd walk through the door at any second to finish her laundry. Connor ran his hand along the bedframe as he circled to a framed picture on her bedside table. He lifted the frame. It was the same photo he had in his room. He drew in a breath and bottled it in his chest.
"I'll never forget the day we took that picture in the park."
He scrambled to open the back of the frame. Maybe she left two letters—
Connor's heart plummeted to find the frame empty. No, she only left the one in his frame, which he now kept in the drawer of his bedside table. He read it every night, even though he committed it to memory. He liked to touch the paper, and to study Wren's handwriting. He knew the parts where she applied more pressure, and where her writing trembled. She probably cried while writing it, which hurt Connor's thirium pump to consider.
He set the frame down beside her iPod and headphones. He picked up the iPod and tapped the screen, but it ran out of battery a long time ago. He glanced around and found the charger plugged into the wall. He sat on the edge of the bed and plugged the iPod in. He closed his eyes as he waited for the iPod to charge. He wished he possessed a sense of smell. He knew that smell and memory correlated, and he was sure the room smelled like Wren. His biocomponents twisted when he realized he had no idea what she smelled like.
He opened his eyes and tapped the screen of the iPod, now charged enough to awaken. He opened it and scrolled through the playlists.
Top 25 Most Played
aesthetic
bada$$
& n
connor
friendship is magic
grl pwr
shower songs
wow that's me
x x x
Connor stared at the playlists. He scrolled back to the one bearing his name and opened it.
Songs that remind me of Connor/our relationship 3
Connor's chest felt sore with the aching. He quickly exited out of that playlist. His eyes pricked and he blinked away the hot wetness. He opened up the playlist Top 25 Most Played.
Pursing his lips, he unplugged the iPod, grabbed the charger and the headphones, stuffed all three into his pockets and swept out of the room. He shut the door behind him with a quiet click and descended the stairs. He walked into the living room, where Tina and Chloe sat on the couch, holding hands.
Chloe spotted Connor over Tina's shoulder. "Hello."
Connor tried to smile, but the corners of his mouth barely twitched. "I'm going home."
Tina twisted to look at him. "Okay. I'll walk you out."
She kissed Chloe's cheek. Connor averted his eyes and his chest clenched. He hadn't kissed Wren enough.
Tina walked with Connor to the front door. "You okay?"
Connor swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. "I'm okay."
Tina folded her arms and leaned against the door. "You know… It's okay. To not be okay. We won't think any less of you. You're handling all of this really well."
Connor lowered his gaze. "It still hurts."
"Yeah, I know. And it will for a while. But we're gonna do everything we can to help her. You know that, right? We're not going to give up."
Connor tightened his jaw and raised his eyes to meet Tina's. "I know."
Tina offered a small smile. "See you tomorrow night."
"Right. Thank you for letting me do this." Connor glanced past Tina, toward the stairs.
"Of course. You're welcome to come over anytime. Even if you just wanna talk. Or not talk. I'm here, okay? You know Wren wouldn't want you to go through this alone."
"I know. Thank you, Tina."
Tina smiled and squeezed his arm. Connor dipped his head and ducked outside. He slid into Hank's car and fumbled with the USB cord, disconnecting Hank's iPod in favor of Wren's. He scrolled through the playlists. He hit shuffle on Top 25 Most Played.
A soft, electronic song began. Connor drove down the street, took a right and drove up a street. He turned right onto the main road and headed for the highway toward Hank's house. He tried not to think of Wren as he drove, but with her iPod playing her favorite songs, it seemed that she talked to him through the stereo.
You don't know where to go
Lost in this world and every day is the same
Don't know why we still try
It never works but still we do it again
And I try to get to know you
But you fade away yeah you fade away
I know you're scared feelings are spared
Cause you fade away yeah you fade away
The song tugged at the wiring connected to his thirium pump. He agreed with Tina's analysis: Wren was a ghost.
Connor reached Hank's house after listening to that first song three times, trying to pick apart the lyrics. Why did Wren like that song so much? It was beautiful, but she always talked about music speaking to her… So what did that song say to her?
He jingled the keys outside, and Sumo whined. Connor unlocked the front door and entered the house. Sumo padded up to him, wagging his tail. Connor crouched and scratched behind the dog's ears.
Connor fed Sumo and plugged the iPod in to charge while he walked Sumo. He changed into more casual wear and walked Sumo around the block. Then, he returned to his room. He grabbed the iPod, placed the headphones into his ears and laid on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. The next song was by an artist he recognized. He tapped his fingers to the indie beat, thrumming on his chest. As the song built, Connor's throat swelled.
I have seen what the darkness does
(Say goodbye to who I was)
I ain't never been away so long
(Don't look back, them days are gone)
Follow me into the endless night
(I can bring your fears to life)
Show me yours and I'll show you mine
(Meet me in the woods tonight)
He knew what this song spoke to Wren. Maybe she thought of these lyrics at night. Maybe she thought of him, meeting her in the woods.
|Warning: Stress levels rising|
|Enter stasis mode|
Connor ripped the headphones out of his ears and inhaled deeply to cool his systems. He stared up at the ceiling. His stress levels lowered, though the warning in the corner of his eye remained. Connor clenched his teeth and stood. He turned off the light and crawled into bed. He grabbed the iPod and headphones and placed them in his ears once more. He settled against his pillow and closed his eyes.
|Enter stasis mode?|
Yes
No
|Yes|
His systems entered stasis mode, though he still heard the music from the iPod.
At first, all he saw was the static that typically came with stasis mode. Then, it lessened to reveal a figure with dark red hair. She smiled at Connor as he approached. He reached a hand toward her and she took it. "I've missed you so much."
Her smile faltered. "Why? I'm right here."
Connor's hands trembled as he cupped Wren's face. "No, you've been gone…"
Wren backed away from him, her brow puckered. She glowed. Connor frowned at the bright wings outstretched from Wren's back.
"What…?"
Wren's eyes filled with tears. "Why didn't you make me stay?"
Connor parted his lips, but his voice cracked.
Wren lifted her hands, and metal clinked. Connor glanced at the shackles around Wren's wrists before meeting her gaze again.
"Wren, you left…"
"You didn't even try to stop me!" Wren cried. "Why? Why didn't you stop me? Why didn't you say anything? You just… You let me go."
Tears filled Connor's eyes. "I'm sorry."
"You promised you wouldn't let them take me, but you lied. You lied to me, Connor."
Connor clenched his teeth and lowered his chin. He closed his eyes for several seconds. "You didn't want me to save you."
"I wanted to save you," breathed Wren. "Why didn't you want to save me?"
Connor's eyes flashed to hers. "I did! I still do!"
Wren smiled sadly and looked at the shackles around her wrists. Her wings drooped. "It's too late. Prometheus will never let me go."
Connor stepped toward her, but a glass wall parted them. He walked into it and felt along the glass, trying to reach Wren. He banged against it. "Wren, no!"
Wren knelt on the floor. "You let me walk away, Connor. Now I'm stuck here forever."
Connor gasped. "No—"
A naked, faceless man appeared beside Wren. The figure, who Connor recognized as the nightmare from Wren's dream, placed a hand over Wren's mouth. She closed her eyes.
Connor jerked out of stasis mode in the early morning. His thirium pump fluttered wildly in his chest. He sat up and took several deep breaths to calm himself. He yanked the headphones out of his ears and leaned over to charge the iPod. He laid back against the pillows and stared up at the ceiling, his synthetic heart racing.
…
Connor ignored the looks Hank kept shooting his way. He tried to focus on the crime scene. Blood splattered the walls and pooled around the unrecognizable body. An android sprawled on the floor beside the dead human, his thirium pump regulator in his hand. The blue blood evaporated hours ago, but the traces remained on the android's chest and palm. Red blood covered the dead android. As crimes scenes went, this one was one of the most gruesome ones Connor ever step foot on.
He crouched beside the dead person, squinting at the beaten, swollen and torn face. Connor's biocomponents.
"Can you get a positive I.D.?" Hank sounded sick.
Connor scanned the body. "No. My facial recognition scanners can't identify her." He glanced up at Hank, whose face drained of color. "I can take a blood sample and analyze the DNA."
Hank turned away. "Do what you gotta do."
Connor placed two fingers in the woman's blood.
«scanning»[Complete]
|Blood type: O-negative|
|Victim: Rhodes, Cleo|
|14 hours|
Connor balanced his arm on his knee, still crouched beside both bodies. "The human victim's name is Cleo Rhodes."
"Alright. Chris, look into Cleo Rhodes. See if we can find family and whatnot…"
"Yeah…" Chris tore his eyes away from Cleo's body and walked out of the alleyway.
"And the android?" Hank queried.
Connor reached toward the android, dipped his fingers inside the thirium pump regulator chamber, and withdrew his fingers with a sample of blue blood. He placed it on his tongue.
«scanning»[Complete]
|LM100 model, registered as Rhodes, Xavier|
|Serial number #454-553-343-79|
Connor pinched his brow. "His name is Xavier Rhodes…" He twisted to look back at Hank. "He took her last name."
Hank frowned. "So, they knew each other?"
"That's what it seems like," said Connor. He stood and walked around the crime scene. The alleyway provided very little evidence, but Connor traced the scuff marks in the mucky snow to the entrance of the alley. He reconstructed the scene, following the outlines of the bodies. Cleo and Xavier walked together, but it looked as though Xavier's footsteps began to drag as they neared the alley. They stopped right outside the alley. Then, Xavier hit Cleo. Connor followed the reconstruction into the alley. Cleo stumbled and felt her way along the brick wall. She crouched, holding up a hand to keep Xavier at bay. Xavier hit her again. Blood specked the left brick wall. Cleo scrambled across to the side with the dumpster. She picked up a broken bottle and slashed at Xavier. She cut his forearm, leaving a few drops of thirium behind. The bottle shattered. Xavier grabbed Cleo by the throat and rammed her into the brick wall. He slammed her head against the brick wall three times. She dropped to the ground, where Xavier straddled her and tore at her, hitting her well after she perished. Then, he scrambled back in the snow, as if horrified by what he did. He took out his thirium pump regulator and laid next to Cleo, clutching his regulator in his hand until he shut down.
Connor withdrew from the reconstruction and blinked. His biocomponents roiled. Connor looked at Hank, his eyes wide. "He killed her and then himself."
Hank furrowed his brow. "Jesus… This is overkill. What the fuck happened that made him do this? He took her last name, you said?"
"Correct."
"That means that they saw each other as family. Why would he do this?"
Connor stared at the two bodies. "I… I don't know."
"I guess we'll dig in their past, then," said Hank. "Maybe she did something to androids in the past that pissed him off. Maybe he was her android… I don't know. Let's just get the fuck outta here. I'm tired of looking at this."
Connor nodded. They left the alley and allowed the crime scene investigators to clean up and take the bodies away. Hank drove Connor back to the DPD, where the team gathered around a conference room. Chris, Tina, Gavin and Hank ate takeout while they reviewed their findings.
"Okay, so I looked into Cleo's past and all, and there's nothing. Like, she didn't ever get an android. She was supportive of the Android Liberation Movement on her blog. She was a bit of a shopaholic, but… I don't think that warrants this amount of violence," said Tina.
"Definitely not," agreed Chris. "From what I could tell, Xavier and Cleo met after the Movement. He got a job at her workplace and they became friends."
"Then they started dating," said Gavin, propping his feet up on the table.
"Get your nasty-ass feet off the table," snapped Hank.
Gavin rolled his eyes and lowered his feet to the floor. He leaned forward. "According to social media and whatnot, Cleo and Xavier were dating and excited to get married. He took her last name and lived with her, so I don't see the fuckin' point in them getting married, but that's what they wanted."
"Marriage isn't just about taking the name and living together, dumbass," said Tina. She pinched her brow and steepled her fingers. "Their wedding planning got put on hold, though. They canceled their venue. They weren't able to get a full refund, either."
"Apparently, according to Cleo's mom, no one would agree to marry them. They couldn't find an official to perform the ceremony, and the courthouse was giving them grief over it. Android-human marriages aren't technically illegal, but they were making it seem like it was." Chris pressed his lips together for a moment before looking at Hank. "Please don't make me be the one to deliver the news to family again. Hardest shit I've ever done."
"We'll take turns doing that," said Hank, folding his arms. He sighed. "Probably the worst part of our job."
"So… They were happy until they couldn't get married. But why would Xavier kill Cleo?" Tina looked to Connor.
He stared at Cleo's portrait. She had dark red hair like Wren's. Connor forced himself to tear his eyes away from Cleo's picture and met Tina's gaze.
"Can deviants still self-destruct if under a lot of stress?" Gavin asked.
Connor nodded. "It's entirely possible."
"So… They got into a fight about the wedding and Xavier did this to her?" Hank gestured to the crime scene photo. "It's still overkill."
"That's what the evidence indicates," said Connor, though his biocomponents twisted. How angry or stressed did one have to be to exact this level of violence on someone they loved?
…
They set the case aside, even though they technically closed it. They figured out what happened, but still failed to determine a motive for Xavier's actions. It unnerved the whole team, but they left work to head to Jericho. Hank and Connor rode together, following Gavin, Chris and Tina. Connor twirled the flash drive in his fingers.
"You sure you're good to do this?" Hank queried, one hand on the steering wheel.
Connor swallowed. "I'm fine, Hank."
"You seemed kind of shaken this morning. Your LED was yellow pretty much all morning."
Connor clenched his teeth. He looked at the flash drive and rolled it around for a moment. "Something happened when I went into stasis mode last night. It… surprised me. I plan to ask Markus about it tonight."
"Anything I need to be concerned about?"
Connor stared ahead. "I'll let you know."
Hank inhaled deeply. "And you're sure you're okay to go over Wren's past? If you need me to talk—"
"I'll let you know."
They arrived at Jericho a few minutes later. Connor rode the elevator up to Markus's office with his team. His biocomponents quivered as he strode into the office. North, Markus and Josh set up chairs and a TV screen. Everyone spent a few minutes greeting each other, but Connor remained standing, trying to hide his shaking. He clenched and unclenched his jaw.
Markus patted Connor's arm. "We're ready whenever you are."
Connor dipped his head. He swallowed and faced the six pairs of eyes watching him from the couches. Hank stood beside Connor.
"Alright, we'll tell you what we know of Wren's past. You guys got a computer we can hook up to the TV? It'll be easier to show you some of the records we have."
"Of course," said Josh. He set up a laptop and plugged it into the TV, which he turned on. Connor inputted the flash drive. He pulled up Wren's files and flooded the screen with them.
"Alright," Hank bounced slightly and rubbed his palms together. "It took us a while to track down who Wren was because she couldn't remember anything about her life before, except that her name was Wren and that she was in a terrible car wreck, which is why she's a cyborg. She got the idea to have a doctor examine her for possible diseases or genetic abnormalities. He didn't find any, but he did find evidence of past fractures. We figured out that she made frequent hospital visits, so we narrowed our search and found her."
Connor glanced at the picture of Wren's old driver's license. She smiled slightly, though she looked tired in the picture. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Her real name is Isabelle Wrenley Blanchard. She was arrested for possession of Red Ice, but avoided jailtime because she agreed to testify against her dealer. She and her fiancé at the time, Jonah Cage, became small-time dealers. He hospitalized her numerous times." Connor stopped and took a deep breath to cool his systems. Heat still prickled the back of his neck.
"You okay?" North queried.
Connor swallowed and nodded. "I'm fine."
Hank eyed him for a moment. Heat rushed to Connor's cheeks and he lowered his gaze. Hank stepped forward. "Based off of what Wren remembered and what we found, Wren got clean and tried to get Jonah clean. He refused, and nearly killed her. She ran away that night, and got into a wreck. An android hit her car and this happened." Hank changed the screen to show the pictures of Wren's car after the wreck.
"Jesus Christ," drawled Gavin.
"The authorities couldn't find her body, so they presumed an animal dragged her off. But we know that CyberLife found her first. They saved Wren's life by amputating her limbs and whatever else they did to her. I don't know all the science behind it." Hank turned to Connor, who cleared his throat. He stared at the floor as he spoke.
"She was approached by Prometheus after the operation. She suffered from post-traumatic amnesia, which Prometheus preyed upon. Trauma-induced amnesia rarely lasts more than a year, but because of Prometheus's conditioning and control, Wren forgot who she was, except for the name Wren. She said she clung to it without Prometheus's knowledge because it was the only thing she had left of herself. We hoped that by tracing Wren's past, we could discover something about Prometheus."
"We need to go through Wren's life with a fine-toothed comb. She gained some of her memories back as she was exposed to things from her past, as well as her distance from Prometheus. We could've missed something. Wren believed that tracing her past could help us find Prometheus. Maybe it won't help up, maybe it will. At the very least it'll give us some closure and understanding." Hank placed his hands on his hips.
North dipped her head. "Alright. Let's get to work."
They split up into groups to read over Wren's records, starting with her beginnings. Connor, North, Markus and Josh worked on Wren's high school years. She attended Ellsworth High School. She was an A-B average student and partook in theatre. She also attended dance class at the Northern Lights Dance Arts studio. Apparently, she excelled in dance to the point where she obtained a freeride scholarship to the University of the Arts in Philadelphia. She maintained her A-B average in college, with one C in a biology lab. She excelled in her dance degree. Connor flipped through pictures of Wren in high school. She appeared happy, with her arms around her brother and her cousin, grinning widely.
Connor, North, Josh and Markus watched a few clips of Wren performing in high school. Watching her dance, Connor parted his lips. She was so graceful. His thirium pump tugged with that familiar ache for Wren. He missed dancing in the kitchen with her. Connor drew in a shuddering breath. North looked at him.
"Are you okay? Your LED's yellow."
"I'm fine," Connor assured her. He furrowed his brow. "Can androids… dream?"
Markus and North looked at each other, but Josh seemed unaffected. "Actually, yes. I've heard from several androids who regularly go into stasis mode that they relive memories, but sometimes the memories divert from what actually happened. There've been reports of androids going into stasis after watching a movie and aspects of the film occur in their dreams. Has this happened to you?"
Connor relaxed. "Something like that. I was listening to music when I entered stasis. I'd never experienced anything like it before, so I was… I didn't expect it."
"Yeah, it's nothing to worry about," said Josh. "As I understand it, dreaming is a good way for us to process some of our emotions."
Connor nodded. Once they finished researching Wren's high school years, everyone regrouped. Tina, Gavin, Chris and Hank presented on Wren's early years.
"She was born December 27, 2004, at Maine Medical Center in Portland, Maine. She grew up in Ellsworth and attended Ellsworth Elementary Middle School. She took dance at the Libitzki School of Dance before switching to the Northern Lights Dance Arts. There wasn't much about her as a kid, other than she was healthy. Her mom was a teacher and her dad owned his own construction company. As androids got more popular, he refused to use them, preferring people." Tina glanced at the picture of young Wren. "She was a cute kid, but that's all we got."
Connor relayed the information about Wren's high school years. North included that Wren twisted her ankle during a production of The Lion King, but she was able to dance again after her recovery. When Connor finished, he glanced at the picture of Wren's college graduation. She looked so happy, holding her diploma. She used to look at him with the same brightness in her eyes.
"She looked so happy," whispered Tina.
Connor's chest tightened.
"Yeah, but everything goes to shit after she got out of college," sighed Hank. "We'll pick this up next time, alright? It's late."
Everyone nodded and dispersed. Connor moved to leave, but Markus grabbed his arm.
"Hey, if this ever gets too difficult for you—"
"I'm fine," Connor snapped. He clenched his teeth as Markus raised his eyebrows and released his grip. Connor averted Markus's gaze. "I can handle this."
Connor kept his eyes low as he left the office. Hank followed him a few moments later. They stepped onto the elevator together. Connor felt Hank's eyes on him, but refused to acknowledge it.
"Your LED's red. You okay?"
Connor sucked his teeth for a moment. Heat flushed through his systems. His synthetic muscles tensed. "I'm okay."
Hank sighed. "Quit lying. You said you wouldn't push us away."
Connor closed his eyes and pressed his lips into a flat line. He opened his eyes as the elevator slowed to a stop. "Then I'd appreciate it if everyone quit asking if I'm fine or if I'm okay." He walked away. Hank followed him. The ride home persisted in a thick silence. When they arrived home, Connor tried to hurry to his room.
"Connor, hold up a second," Hank called, locking the front door.
Connor stopped in his tracks, mid-flee to his bedroom. He curled his lip and mouthed shit before turning around to face Hank in the living room.
"It's hard not ask if you're okay when your LED is constantly yellow or flashing bright fuckin' red. You keep saying you're fine, but we all know you're not."
"Then why do all of you keep asking?" Connor demanded.
"Because we're worried about you, and we're trying to get you to talk about it!" Hank snapped.
Connor looked away from Hank and worked his jaw. His eyes stung. "All of this is difficult, Hank. You know what I think when I see those pictures of Wren? I see everything that Prometheus took away from her, and I think of how I failed to protect her!" Connor trembled.
Hank's brow furrowed. "Connor…"
Tears blurred Connor's vision. He blinked them away impatiently. "But I also think about how she chose to leave. She just walked away and left us. She chose to throw us away, Hank." Connor's voice broke.
Hank stepped toward Connor, his blue eyes reddening. "Son, you listen to me. She didn't throw us away. You read her letter. You know she did all this for some stupid heroic reason. Yeah, it's stupid, and it's unfair. But that girl loves you. She loves you enough to go back to the people who took everything away from her to protect you. We don't understand everything yet, but we will."
Connor closed his eyes. Tears slid down his cheeks. His lips trembled, so he pressed them together. His biocomponents constricted and he shuddered a breath into his systems. He opened his eyes. "I failed, Hank. I told her that I'd keep her safe. I promised her that they wouldn't take her. I didn't know… I didn't realize that I'd have to protect her from herself. I should've seen that coming; I should've convinced her to stay, but I didn't say anything. I didn't even try to make her stay. I let her go. I just let her walk away even though I promised that they wouldn't take her—"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Hank said, gripping Connor's shoulders. "You couldn't have foreseen that. This isn't your fault, you hear me? None of this is your fault. Wren made her choices. There's only so much we can do when she does that. We were all there when she walked out. None of us tried to stop her, okay? You didn't fail. You know why? Because you're here now, and you're trying to figure out a way to save her. You haven't failed. You won't fail. You never do, son."
Connor's face crumpled as he looked at his dad. "What if I fail on the only mission that matters? What if I never see her again?"
Hank's mouth fell open. His brow creased and something flashed in his eyes. He pulled Connor into a hug. "I don't know, son. I don't know. But I'm here."
Connor clutched Hank closer and buried his face in Hank's shoulder. Connor squeezed his eyes shut, purging the last few tears from his eyes. Eventually, Connor released Hank. He waited for Hank to go to bed before getting up from the couch. He grabbed a small knife from the kitchen and locked himself in the bathroom.
Connor faced himself in the mirror. He looked… tired. His hair was a little mussed. His mouth was set in a hard line. His eyes bore an almost haunted look to them. His LED swirled yellow, occasionally flickering red. Connor leaned toward the mirror and placed the tip of his knife to the LED. It flickered faster and his thirium pump fluttered.
Wren pushed herself up, her eyes glinting. "You look like you're having an aneurism."
"I'm fine," Connor gritted out.
"Your LED is red," Wren stated. "You're not fine." She stood and knelt in front of him. "Are you… Are you having an anxiety attack?"
Connor's processor downloaded the definition and checked symptoms of such a condition. He nodded once.
"Okay," Wren murmured, "breathe."
"I don't need to breathe."
"I know that, but it helps," Wren placed her hands over his. "In and out. Mimic me."
Connor froze, unable to wedge the knife into his LED to lift it from his temple. He heard Wren point out his LED so many times. It was one of the ways he learned to open up to her. He dropped the knife and let it clatter in the sink. Connor bowed his head as a sob ripped out of his chest.
…
Songs: "Fade Away" by Trevor Something
"Meet Me in the Woods" by Lord Huron
The song Connor is listening to when he has his nightmare is "Angel" by Theory of a Deadman!
Thank you for your support so far, guys! Please review!