Spencer sat in the dark library reading. The sound of classical music played softly in the background. There were people around him, but they were all silently engaged in other activities.
"You're here again."
He looked up to see Maeve smiling at him. He closed his book and stared at her. The pain of losing her still fresh in his blood stream. Even in his dreams it hurt.
"May I?" she asked as she gestured to the empty chair.
"Please," Spencer replied.
Maeve took a seat across from him. She was so radiant. Her smile reached her beautiful eyes.
"You seem more troubled than usual," she said.
"I miss you," was all he could manage.
Maeve gave an empathetic smile.
"I miss you too," she said. "But, there's something else. What's bothering you?"
Spencer fidgeted in his chair.
"My neighbor kissed me," he admitted.
Maeve tilted her head to study him further. The soft smile never leaving her face.
"And this was an unwanted gesture?" she asked.
Spencer stared at her with grief in his eyes. He saw her register his feelings and suddenly she was holding out her hand. He looked at her pearly white skin but couldn't bring himself to take hold.
"You should still be alive," he said as a tear slid down his cheek. "That kiss … it should've been you. It's not fair."
"Oh, Spencer, you know life doesn't play fair," she replied calmly.
"I know. I know it doesn't and that's what is so infuriating."
Maeve observed him in silence for a few moments.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything," he said, surprised she even felt the need to ask.
"Do you think there is a part of you that's angry with yourself because you wanted to kiss her?"
Spencer stared at Maeve in shock. His eyes wide and his mouth agape.
"What? No … no, not at all! It's only been two months!"
"Love doesn't understand time. It just understands what feels right."
"Maeve, I love you! I want you and every day I wake up with the torture of knowing I can't have you. That I will never get to hold you or go to the museum with you or cook for you or … or marry you. How can I move on? How can I just let all of that go as if it were nothing?"
Tears flowed freely down his face as Maeve listened with no judgement in her eyes.
"Realizing you need to move on isn't forgetting or erasing what was," she said as she reached out for his hand again.
Spencer stared at it, reluctant to take it in his own.
"Our love is a bond that will never be broken. No matter who you open your heart to."
He finally grabbed her hand and crumbled into a heap of sobs as he felt the warmth of her hand. The warmth of her love surrounding him.
"It's ok to believe in love again. Trust your heart. It's the only truth inside of you that will never fail," she said as she stood from her chair.
"Maeve, no please don't go," he said jumping to his feet.
"It's ok, Spencer. Everything is ok," she assured him as she slowly stepped backwards.
His hand gripping hers tightly as she moved away from him.
"I'm always with you. You needn't be afraid."
He felt her hand sliding from his. He kept reaching for her but couldn't move from his spot. He watched as she faded into thin air. Tears streaming from his eyes as he pleaded with her to return. But she didn't come back, and he soon woke panting and sweating as real tears slipped down his face.
(xxxxx)
It had been three weeks since Jade had kissed him. It could have continued to be awkward between them, but they both agreed to forget it ever happened and things went back to normal. In fact, all of Spencer's life was returning to normal.
The elevator doors opened, and he stepped into the familiar hallway. His converse sneakers squeaking across the shiny linoleum floors as he made his way toward the double glass doors.
"You're back!"
He turned to his left just in time to be attacked by a blur of pink and white. The arms held him tightly as he sighed and returned the hug. The pink let go only to cup his face in both hands.
"You look so good! How are you feeling?" Garcia asked.
"Thank you. I feel … better … ish," he said with the familiar sadness in his eyes.
"I know angel. Unfortunately, we all know too well that that sort of pain doesn't go away. It just becomes bearable, I suppose."
Spencer nodded.
"Come on. I know everyone will be thrilled to see you," she said as she grabbed his arm and dragged him through the doors. "Look who I found!" She announced as she paraded into the bullpen.
Spencer heard Morgan holler "Pretty Ricky!" While J.J. and Alex jumped to their feet ready to take turns hugging him. Only seconds later, did he see Hotch and Rossi making their way down the stairs toward him.
"Reid," Hotch said as he held out a hand to shake.
"Ya look good, kid," Rossi said as he gave him a kiss on both cheeks, in true Italian fashion.
"Thanks," Spencer muttered.
"You sure you're ready to come back?" Hotch asked.
"As ready as I'll ever be, I imagine," Spencer replied.
"Alright, just let me know if there's anything you need, or anything I can do for you," Hotch said.
Spencer nodded as Hotch patted him on the back.
"Good to have you back," he said before walking back toward his office.
A phone beeped amongst the group and they watched as Penelope dug the phone from her pocket.
"And what perfect timing," she said waving her phone. "We have a case."
Everyone gathered their things and started the walk to the conference room. Spencer gave a small smile as he followed behind. It was good to be back where he belonged. Back with his family. As he walked into the room and stopped to soak in his surroundings, he felt Maeve's presence.
She was right. He had to move on with life. But she was still there, and he still felt her love. No matter where he went, what he did, or who he loved, she would always be a part of him. It wasn't the end of the book, just the start of a new chapter.