Disclaimer: I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy, I am just having a bit of fun with the characters, and making no profit.
AN: Here's chapter 5! I don't want to spoil anything, so I'll leave my AN at the end! Please review! xxoo
Added note: A few of you already left reviews on this chapter, so I wanted to address something here, just to clear things up: Christian IS creepy. If any normal guy pulled some of the shenanigans he does in the actual book/movie, they'd probably be slapped with a restraining order or punched in the dick. That being said, Ana is an adult and can make her own choices...she's not a helpless victim. Also, i'll add in case it wasn't already super obvious, this is a comedy, and it's intent is to sorta poke fun at the book/movie. Enjoy at your own risk!
Ana looked up at Christian as he guided her from the restaurant in confusion. They had barely touched their dinner, and now he was whisking her off to god knows where.
What if he was a serial killer of something? He could have at least let her finish her steak…
"Where are we going, Christian?" she asked, unsure if he would tell her.
"Shopping." He said with a smirk as he guided her towards the black Audi SUV.
"Shopping?" she asked, as she mentally tried to connect the dots, but coming up empty handed, "For what possible reason?"
Did he hate her outfit or something?
His lips twitched as he glanced over at her, "Where I am taking you, there is a certain…dress code." He said cryptically as he reached toward her playfully and touched her braid.
Oh. Maybe she was under dressed for his taste…she had been wearing a designer dress when they had first met.
She glanced out the window watching the scenery pass by as Christian pulled out his phone and made a quick call to someone.
As the Audi pulled into a parking garage nestled behind some high end shops, she was still no closer to understanding what exactly they were doing.
"Anastasia, before we go inside, I'll need for you to sign this non-disclosure agreement. I'm afraid my lawyer insists on it."
"Why?" she asked in confusion as she took the document he handed her along with a pen.
"It basically just states that you won't discuss anything that happens between us with anyone. With all those gossip rags looking to print anything that will sell a magazine these days, I'm sure you understand why this is necessary."
She did understand. Just last month she recalled seeing a picture of him on the cover of In Touch Weekly, where they proclaimed that he was gay. She relaxed slightly, picking up the pen and signed her name with a flourish.
"There. Now will you tell me what we're doing here?" she said as she bit back a grin.
"I told you; we're shopping." He said giving her a mischievous grin as he stepped out of the car and came around to open her door for her, offering his hand. She raised an eyebrow at him questioningly, but slipped her hand into his and stepped out of the car. The same jolt that had passed through her at the restaurant was there again, making her hyper aware of his closeness. He led her to an unmarked door that looked like it could have been an employee entrance, or great place to hide a body, and lifted his hand to the buzzer.
Maybe he was planning to kill her…chop her up and leave her in some weird abandoned maintenance closet…
The door swung open revealing a short Asian woman with slicked back black hair and red lipstick, wearing what looked like a skin tight latex cat-suit.
What in the seven hells?
"Madame Yao" Christian greeted, giving a small bow.
Anastasia watched curiously, wondering if she should also bow, but decided against it and instead opted for a small polite if not awkward smile.
"Mister Grey. Please, come in." she said as she held the door open for them to pass through.
The hall was dimly lit, and she allowed Christian to lead her inside, since he seemed to know where he was going. Her curiosity was becoming unbearable when she finally blurted out, "What exactly are we shopping…for…" when the words died in her throat.
She wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but it hadn't been this. Lining the walls of this, albeit elegantly decorated boutique, were corsets, leather collars, and other items of debauchery that she couldn't even begin to imagine what they were used for.
"What?…" she began to say as she looked around in fascinated horror.
"I'm taking you to a club, Anastasia, one that I hope you'll enjoy…with me."
"What the hell kind of a club, Christian? Is that a dog collar?!" she asked incredulously as she moved over to inspect the spiked leather collars adorning the wall.
Christian glanced over at the short Asian woman and said quietly, "Would you give us a moment?"
The woman, Madame Yao, nodded, and stepped out of the room, leaving the two of them alone.
"Anastasia, I imagine you must have questions." Christian said as he approached her slowly.
"Questions? Christian, what the hell is this place? What are we doing here?" she blurted.
"This boutique caters to those of us with…particular tastes. As for what we're doing here, I thought that much would be obvious." Christian said watching her carefully as she continued to take in her surroundings.
"Curious?" he asked as he watched her run her finders along an embellished leather corset.
Ana blushed a deep shade of crimson, and bit down on her bottom lip as she nodded, "Very."
The smile that spread across Christian's face then was one of victory, "Good."
A moment later Madame Yao stepped back into the room, and she saw Christian walk over to speak with her in low tones, pointing out a few items as she whispered, "Excellent choice, Mister Grey."
She tried not to fidget as the petite woman approached her, turning her this way and that as she assessed her measurements.
"Come, Miss Steele." She said as she led her to a tastefully decorated fitting room that had mirrors on three sides with a raised dais in the center. It reminded her of the ones you see at a Wedding boutique, only the curtains were blood red, and the lighting was muted. Her only comfort was that at least Christian wasn't going to be watching her undress. She hoped.
Madame Yao returned a moment later with the items Christian had requested, and she had to give herself a mental pep talk.
You can do this, Steele, think of it as dressing up for Halloween; a really slutty Halloween.
"Should I just…" she began to ask when Madame Yao suddenly yanked her cream knit top over her head and spun her around, next yanking down her jeans.
Whoa! Slow down cat woman, we just met!
Ana made a half-hearted attempt to cover her breasts as the women slipped her bra off without so much as a 'by your leave', when she looked over her shoulder to see why Madame Yao had suddenly stopped at her underpants.
Madame Yao was staring at her underpants looking as if she had just sucked on a lemon.
"Hanes her way." Ana explained with a nervous chuckle.
"More like Hanes no way." Madame Yao said with a shake of her head as if she had somehow been personally offended by Ana's choice of undergarments.
"Hold onto something." Madame Yao said before she slipped on the corset and pulled hard on the laces, almost knocking Ana off her feet. She quickly grabbed hold of the marble column near to where she had been standing, and grunted rather ungracefully as the corset was pulled so tight she could barely suck in a breath.
"Um…I think it's a bit too tight." Ana managed to say as she attempted to look over her shoulder at her torturer.
"Then it's just right." Madame Yao said with a knowing smirk before she once again cringed at Ana's underwear.
"Take those off, and put this on." She snapped handing Ana an extremely short black leather skirt, if it could even be classified as a skirt; it wasn't even a mini-skirt, it was a micro-skirt.
Ana shimmied her way into the skirt, and turned to Madame Yao expectantly waiting for some sort of underwear, but none were forthcoming.
"Um…I can't go commando in this…everyone will see my…" Ana trailed off gesturing with her hand towards her crotch, as if she were looking for the right word.
"Pussy?" Madame Yao said unabashedly, as she raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at Ana.
"Tampon string." Ana corrected, flushing crimson once again.
Madame Yao tilted her head as she looked at Ana, and tried to unsuccessfully bite back a smirk.
"Mister Grey hasn't requested that any undergarments be provided."
"Well it's not as if I announced to him that I was on my period, now is it!" Ana cried indignantly. There was no way in hell she was walking out of here with her tampon string blowing in the breeze.
Madame Yao sighed, and seemed to take pity on her, "I think I have something that will work."
Ana watched as the petite woman strode away on impossibly high stilettos, and thought to herself that she and Mia would get along famously. She returned a moment later and handed Ana something small and round wrapped in plastic.
"What's this?" Ana asked turning it this way and that trying to figure out what it was.
"It's a menstrual cup. Problem solved." Madame Yao said as she turned Ana back around and slipped the leather collar around her neck.
"How do I?" Ana asked uncertainly and tried to turn back towards Madame Yao.
"You take out the tampon and put this in instead. No string. No mess." Madame Yao said shaking her head.
"But how do you get it out?" Ana asked, aware of how naive the question probably sounded.
Madame Yao raised her eyebrow at Ana in disbelief, "Google it."
Not wanting to anger the petite woman any further, she nodded and wisely kept her mouth shut.
After slipping on a pair of black heels that were just as horrid to walk in as the Louboutin's, she made her way to the adjoining bathroom to deal with her tampon situation.
She easily found the string of her tampon and plucked it out, wrapping it politely in tissue before tossing it in the trash, and opened the small package that Madame Yao had given her. It looked similar to a diaphragm, only it had a cup to collect the blood so that it wouldn't leak. After a few awkward moments of shoving a foreign object into her vagina sans applicator, she felt confident that she had it in properly, and washed her hands.
As she stepped out of the restroom, she heard Christian's voice.
"You look lovely, Anastasia."
She whirled around quickly to face him, not having expected that he would be in the fitting room, and blushed.
Had he heard her grunting in frustration in the bathroom?
"Is everything…alright?" he asked raising an eyebrow in concern.
Yep, he definitely heard.
Ana nodded quickly, giving him a nervous smile, "Fine, though I feel a bit exposed…"
Christian smirked and tossed her a pair of black silk panties, "I thought you might."
Was he carrying panties around in his pocket now? She didn't recall seeing anything like this in Madame Yao's boutique.
"I had Taylor pick them up." He explained answering her un-asked question.
Oh God, his driver bought her panties? She'd never be able to look that man in the eye ever again.
"Your driver bought me panties? She said raising her eyebrow in disbelief.
Christian chuckled, "Truthfully, Taylor is much more than just my driver."
Oh fuck, maybe In Touch Weekly had it right after all…
"He's is my personal security guard, though really, he's more like a personal assistant; he does anything I ask him to."
"I see. And is buying panties for your girlfriends part of his job description?" Ana asked jokingly.
"I don't have girlfriends, Anastasia." He answered, not bothering to comment on the fact that his driver/security guard/personal assistant gets paid to buy panties.
"Then what is this, Christian?" she asked gesturing between them.
Rather than answer her, he took a step towards her and cupped her cheek, staring into her eyes with a look that made her knees weak.
"My tastes are very…singular. This is what I know, Anastasia." He said searching her eyes for acceptance.
"I'm not going to just sleep with you, Christian." Ana said meeting his gaze defiantly
He smirked brushing his lips against hers, "Who said anything about sleep?"
His lips moved over hers in a demanding kiss that instantly made her wet.
Crap, I hope I put that cup in right…
Christian pulled back from her, skimming his nose along her cheek, "Still curious?"
Does a bear shit in the woods?!
"Yes." She answered breathily, leaning into him for another kiss.
"That's my girl."
AN: Well, the cat's out of the bag! She now knows he's into some pretty kinky shit, but they still haven't gotten to the club yet...LOL...Anyway, I hope you like it so far, I was laughing quite a bit writing this chapter, and I hope you all did too! next chapter will be the club...will it be too much for innocent Ana? You'll have to read and find out!