With the music playing softly in the shop and the faded red neon back lights giving the area a spooky vibe, the comic shop felt less than welcoming. The linoleum floors reflected the dull lighting and his bright white sneakers squeaked a little as he walked. It was a dead shop - he was pretty much the only customer browsing the aisles.
How could they keep this business afloat?
It had been quiet for a little while and Sam kind of regretted leaving his siblings.
The conversation, the friendship he'd left them for hadn't exactly been thrilling..
"Listen, Ken" Edgar said simply, sitting down on an empty display counter and looking dead into Sam's eyes, "we're defenders-"
"-of truth, justice and the American way. You said already.." Sam added, somewhat mockingly, refusing to break eye contact, "..and stop calling me Ken"
They'd refused to call him by his name, barely made interesting conversation and their comic selection was lacking.
I'm an idiot, he thought, wondering what Elizabeth and Mike were up to.
"You dress like Ken" Alan stated, his arms crossed across his chest and legs somewhat open.
Was he constipated? Just why couldn't this kid relax?
"Why do you even know what Ken looks like?" Sam inquired, "like playing with girl's dolls?"
"Gender is a construct" Alan said, as if Sam were an idiot, still standing rigidly, "there are no 'girl's toys', just toys"
Sam opened his mouth and then closed it. He didn't have a reply for that one. He thought for a second that Elizabeth would be impressed by Alan's words before the serious boy continued, "Ken does have terrible taste though..."
"Uh, hello jumpsuit?" Sam retorted easily this time, cheap shots being his specialty thanks to a lifetime of brotherly rivalry. He looked up and down at the camouflage jumpsuit the scowling boy was wearing, "how are your clothes any better?"
Sam smoothed his poncho and popped his collar a little defensively.
He looked good. His clothes were artfully styled and chosen. He was very confident in his choices.
Alan sneered a little before Edgar continued, "that's not important. This is. It's our mission. This" he gestured grandly around the shop, "is just our cover.."
There was a faint giggle from the clown at the door and Sam shook his head as he caught a glimpse of the throngs of people outside.
Some cover.
"Our real work is for the greater good-" Alan added.
"-to rid the world of evil" Edgar finished.
"...do you guys just keep expanding on the others sentence or…" Sam asked questioningly with a head tilt.
God, these guys were headcases.
He left his siblings for these clowns?
What had he been thinking?
"Ken. We're helping you" Edgar insisted.
"Taking you under our wing, we're-" Alan began before being interrupted by a high pitched voice.
"How much is this comic book?" asked a small boy with a grubby face, and blue stained lips. The source - bright blue cotton candy - was stuck to his neon t-shirt and his mother hovered behind him, purse in hand.
They must have plucked a comic from one of the displays outside.
"That's three dollars even" Edgar replied with a professional kindness that made Sam blink in surprise. As the child looked hopefully up at his mother, she smiled and easily handed over the money.
"Do you need a bag?" Edgar continued, asking politely and the child replied with a peppy, "oh yes please!"
His mother affectionately rested her hand on the boys head, rightly so considering the excellent manners he'd exercised, and she gave a genuine exclamation of thanks when Alan popped a lollipop into the bag, "keep reading comics" he instructed, much like a dentist talking about floss.
The mother and son walked out happily, the boy swinging the bag as he walked.
Total headcases, Sam thought, watching as the surreal transaction ended.
They'd transitioned from nonsense to professional business with ridiculous ease.
"Wow" Sam said, in an almost star struck way, looking between the retreating figures and the two boys "there's some real evil to get rid of, huh?"
Edgar and Alan both blinked at him but his joke was lost on them.
"Yeah, that's what we're telling you"
"Ken, there is serious evil here-" Edgar began to explain.
"-quit it with the Ken stuff!" Sam interrupted.
"Ken doesn't get it" Alan told his brother.
"Oh my God" Sam groaned with a roll of his eyes.
Why was he even here?
Why had he been worried that his siblings would embarrass him? This was embarrassing enough.
Shaking his head, he moved away from them to glance at yet another row of poorly organized comics.
"Did you read the comic we gave you?" Edgar asked, following him.
"I told you I don't like horror comics, but yeah. I did" Sam replied, coming to a stop, leaning against a support beam covered in advertisements.
The horror comic he'd brought back, somewhat unwillingly, from his first adventure on the boardwalk had largely been unopened. It was a trashy horror, what was he supposed to do with it? He had read the first few pages out of boredom but after he saw a surprisingly gory scene featuring a bloodied damsel and a vampire, he had closed it firmly. He didn't need that right before bed. The artist had even drawn the blood congealing around a gaping neck wound.
It was gross.
Horror really wasn't his style.
"And?" Alan asked, still standing rigidly as if he were a soldier on duty.
Sam shrugged, "I didn't finish it but so far it's what I expected..."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning I don't like horror comics"
Alan tutted as the brothers shared a look.
"We won't give up on you, Ken" Edgar promised, as if they were brothers in war.
"Great" Sam said faking seriousness, "so aside from saving the world from sticky kids who wanna buy comics, what else is there to do around here?"
"well the diet frozen yogurt bar went out of business a couple years ago.." Edgar offered, retreating a small step at Sam's withering gaze.
"...there's the boardwalk" Alan offered, giving a serious yet obvious answer.
"Movies?" Edgar also offered, glancing at his brother.
"Yeah, movies are good" Alan added quickly.
"Huh, I didn't see a movie theater around here?" Sam said thoughtfully.
Movies, popcorn. That sounded like fun.
"Wanna see a movie tomorrow?" Edgar invited as if they were old friends.
Sam looked between the two.
There was way too much camouflage going on, too much wannabe Rambo but...
He sighed.
What did he have to lose? He didn't have a TV, he didn't have his MTV so why not watch something on a huge screen instead?
"Sure" Sam said with a nod, "just..for the love of God be normal?"
Both boys shrugged.
"Do you have a bike?" questioned Alan.
"Yeah, I have one I can use.." Sam said warily with a nod.
Lucy had insisted he brought his BMX bike with him from Arizona, even though he hadn't ridden it much before. It had been a present from his Dad, a desperate grab for affection in the midst of a nasty divorce of his own doing. He didn't like it. The wind always mussed up his hair, his mom always bemoaned his lack of helmet and once, his long cardigan had almost gotten caught in the greasy bike chain.
Like horror comics, he didn't see the appeal of biking.
"How far away is it?" he asked, "I'm not big on bikes.."
"Not big on much, huh?" Alan muttered loudly.
Before Sam could open his mouth to retort, Edgar easily replied, "not so far. Meet here about..." he glanced at his sleeping parents, "seven tomorrow night?"
"You won't be working?" Sam asked them, following his gaze and glancing at the two hippies who were still completely passed out at the cash register.
Edgar shrugged, "we close three times a week, Ken"
Sam sighed.
"We told you. This is just our cover" Alan said, as if he were talking to an idiot.
"And the cinema complex is really cool. They have bowling" Edgar added with a nod.
"Oh yeah, the bowling is totally awesome" Alan nodded.
Sam took a breath.
This had to be better than no friends, right?
He had a feeling it was going to be a long night.
A/N: Thank you all for your reviews. I appreciate them a lot, they inspire me to keep writing. A HUGE thanks to MissRuthless and MissJNori - your kind reviews really mean a lot. Thank you for the support!