Disclaimer: I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy, I am just having a bit of fun with the characters, and making no profit.
AN: I wanted to address this again, because some of you may not have seen my added AN on the last chapter. I am honestly surprised that some of you were bothered by the fact that Christian seemed a bit creepy in the last chapter. Did none of you find him or the things he did creepy at all in the actual book or movie? Because despite the fact that he's hot, and Ana was desperately attracted to him as well as a bit naive, his characterization WAS creepy. He may have been suave about certain things at times, but make no mistake, his behavior most of the time, was really not OK by most people's standards.
Let's count the ways in which Christian IS creepy in Canon, shall we?
*He has a FILE on Ana
*He uses said file to stalk her at Clayton's, where he buys shit he hopes to use on her later in his playroom, without her knowledge.
*He tracks her whereabouts with from her cell phone.
*He has his driver buy her clothes and undergarments after he took her back to his hotel when she was drunk, rather than taking her home.
*He tells her he won't touch her until he has her written consent (cuz that's not weird, or anything!)
*He makes her sign the NDA as soon as she gets to his house, then proceeds to tell her straight up that he only wants a particular sort of relationship.
*He takes her right into his playroom on their first "date"
*He assumes that since she's a virgin, it's his responsibility to rid her of it…doesn't ask, just "rectifies the situation"
*Tells her after he sleeps with her (again, only after the first date, and she still barely knows him) that he expects her to move in part time and sleep in her own room.
Honestly, I could go on and on…this is only in the first half of the first book. The point I am trying to make, is that Christian IS Fifty shades of fucked up. He's not the romantic hero that Ana thinks he is (or wants him to be) at least initially. In this fic, which IS a comedy, he's going to let his freak flag fly, because he's used to getting what he wants, when he wants it. Ana, though still desperately attracted to him, and also still a bit naïve, will not simply let him push her into anything she doesn't want to do. She's not a helpless Victim…she makes her own choices. She will stand her ground when she feels she needs to, and she will let him know it. You have to remember here, that Ana is curious by nature, and she is experiencing something new for the first time with a guy she really is attracted to…believe me, she'll let him know if she's not into trying something, or if it's too much. For those that commented that Christian was as creepy as Jack, well, he kind of is. The only difference is that Jack doesn't understand the word "no" and Christian does, and he is ultimately more smooth in his approach. That doesn't mean he won't be honest about what he's looking for, at least initially…after all, that's exactly what he does in the books. I believe there is even a part where Ana says something to the effect, 'So If I don't want to do this, there'll be nothing at all between us?' (I'm paraphrasing here).
Sorry for the long rant, but some of the reviews kind of made it seem like *I* did this to his character, and *I* made him creepy. I'm pretty certain E.L. James gets full credit for that, not me. I just shined a light on it a little more directly. Now, if you're still reading this, here is chapter 6…try not to take it so seriously…this is a crackfic after all, not a drama.
"I can't believe I'm doing this, I look ridiculous." Ana chuckled under her breath as she slid into the backseat of the Audi.
"You look beautiful, Anastasia; please trust me." He said lifting her hand to his lips, and dropping a feather soft kiss on her knuckles.
"Where exactly are we going?" She asked, mesmerized by his hands as he removed his tie and rolled up the sleeves of his undoubtedly expensive dress shirt.
The corner of his lips curved up into a sexy grin, "Torture Garden."
Her mouth dropped open, and she stared at him, but before she could verbalize her thoughts, he held up his hand.
"Relax, Anastasia, it's just a club."
"A club for kinky fuckery, you mean." Ana quipped, raising her eyebrow at him, daring him to deny it.
"Kinky fuckery?" He repeated, chuckling at her colorful vocabulary.
"Yes, you know, like toe sucking, and weird tickling and stuff…?" she explained.
"Weird tickling…?" He said in amusement, trying not to laugh.
Ana rolled her eyes, "You know, with strange objects like a rubber chicken…or something equally shady."
"Wherever did you get an idea like that?" he asked full on laughing now.
"Well I'm right, aren't, I?" she asked, waiting for him to stop laughing at her.
"No, Anastasia," Christian said taking a breath as he finally stopped laughing, "Although some people may have certain fetishes like being tickled with a rubber chicken, that's not what BDSM is about." He said as the car pulled into another parking garage. He got out of the car, and walked over to her side to help her step out.
"Oh." She said blushing in embarrassment as she took his hand, once again feeling a bit self-conscious at how she was dressed.
"Don't fidget. You're beautiful, Anastasia."
He led her over to what looked like a service elevator, and pushed the button simply stenciled with the letters "TG", and then gave her a look as if he wanted to devour her the moment the doors slid shut.
"What is it about elevators?" she said meeting his hungry gaze with one of her own.
The door slid open before either of them could make a move, to reveal an Asian inspired posh looking bar that was very dimly lit. The first thing Ana noticed, was that she was far from the only woman there wearing a corset. In fact, compared to the woman wearing only what looked to be leather hot pants and electrical tape on her nipples, she looked downright matronly. He led her over to a private booth in what looked like a VIP area, and slid in across from him.
"To answer your question, Anastasia, a BDSM relationship is about pleasure, and control. Learning your own limits; what you like, what you don't, and having absolute trust in your partner."
Ana bit her lip as she gazed up at him though her lashes, "But you said you didn't do relationships."
"I said I didn't do the girlfriend thing; there's a difference." He said watching her carefully as he poured her a glass of red wine that had already been brought over to their table as soon as they sat down.
"What does that even mean? You're so confusing, Christian." Ana said shaking her head in frustration, "Why am I here?"
"I don't have girlfriends, I have submissives, Anastasia. I told you, it's the only relationship I know how to have."
His words hit her like a bucket of ice water. She was reminded just how out of her depth she was as she gazed at the beautiful man that sat across from her. Here she was, a virgin, who never had so much as had a single boyfriend before now, and he was admitting that he wanted to dominate her.
She let her gaze fall on a couple over by the bar. The man was standing talking to the bartender casually, and in his hand was a chain…no a leash that was connected to the collar of a petite blond woman who stood beside him obediently, staring blankly at his feet.
Is that what Christian wanted?
"Say something, please." He said after a beat of silence, raking his hand through his dark curls.
"I'm sort of still trying to process this. It's a lot to take in." she answered honestly as she sipped her wine and studied him over the rim of her wineglass.
"Would we still go out and do things like a regular couple, or?" she asked still trying to understand the dynamic that he was proposing.
"No…at least that's not how I preferred to do things in any of my previous relationships. You would stay with me on the weekends, in your own room of course, and I'd take you to my playroom as I see fit. If you please me, I'll reward you." he answered, watching her carefully.
"And if I displease you? What would happen?" she asked feeling a sinking feeling in her stomach.
"I'd punish you." He answered simply, as if it was obvious.
"Punish me…how?" She asked, dreading what he would say.
"That depends on the offense. Punishments could be anything from a few spankings to something a bit more intense." He answered, taking another sip of his wine.
She swallowed thickly, imagining all manner of medieval torture devices. Whips were usually involved in this sort of thing, weren't they?
"So what would I possibly get out of all this? Why should I agree?" she asked in challenge.
"You'd get me. I'd be completely devoted to you, and only you, Anastasia." He answered meeting her eyes with his piercing gaze.
She looked down at her hands as they traced the stem of her wineglass. This "date" had not at all gone how she imagined it would; she had imagined they'd have dinner, and that they'd fall in love over dessert, and that maybe he'd kiss her again like he had in the elevator. She never in a million years would have guessed that his hobbies included torturing women on the weekends with sex toys, and that she'd be sitting across from him in some weird sex club actually considering it. What would Kate say? Oh right, she'd signed that NDA.
"Anastasia?" he prompted, waiting for her answer.
"Take me home, Christian."
ooOo0oOoo
The ride back to her flat was silent as she tried to look anywhere but at him, though she could feel his gaze on her. As the Audi pulled up to the curb in front of her flat, she didn't immediately hop out. She knew the moment she opened the door, she'd be stepping out of his life forever.
"I'm sorry if I've upset you, it wasn't my intention. I truly hoped you would say yes." He said in a resigned tone that broke her heart into a million pieces. It was just so unfair…
"Christian, I just...I need more. How can I give up experiencing something I've never even had?" she said in frustration.
His brows furrowed at that, "What do you mean, 'something you've never had'?"
She laughed bitterly, "I've never dated anyone, Christian, I wasn't even asked to prom, and you want me to just-"
His lips were on hers suddenly, kissing her with the same intensity they had experienced in the elevator; hungry and desperate. She felt her resolve crumbling, wondering if even a moment in his arms like this would be worth the potential heartache.
He broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against hers, "Jesus Ana, I took you to that club…why didn't you tell me?"
She chuckled at the absurdity of it all, "It didn't seem like a good time…"
"What must you think of me? Christ, Ana…" he said shaking his head in frustration.
"Well, considering you dispelled the rubber chicken theory, my opinion of you is much higher than it otherwise could have been." She chuckled trying to lighten the mood.
Christian laughed, despite his best effort not to and looked at her appreciatively, "What are you doing to me, Miss Steele?"
Ana bit back a smile, feeling a bit of hope flare in her chest, "Goodnight, Christian, it's been an… enlightening evening." She said as she opened the door and stepped out of the Audi with her dignity still mostly intact.
"Goodnight, Anastasia." He said with a grin as he watched her make her way into the building.
AN: And there you have it. No weak Ana giving into to something she doesn't want to do/isn't ready for. I wanted this scene to kind of echo the part in the book where he tells her about how he'd like their arrangement to be with her having her own bedroom at Escala, and the previous 15 women, and she tells him she'd like to go home. And unlike the book, she leaves her first date with him with her V card intact.