Vergil felt like shit, to put it mildly.
He had woken up minutes ago, but thanks to his pounding headache opening his eyes would cause his head to explode upon catching any glimpses of light.
After waking up he had immediately scanned his surroundings as best he could without sight.
He could tell that he was laying on a sofa of some sort, specifically made out of leather and five foot eight in length, judging from how his feet hung off the edge.
The floor was wood, thanks to who he guessed was Dante practically stomping around. Or maybe his headache was forcing him to exaggerate, but he didn't really care.
His coat and vest had been removed and multiple horribly done bandages had been placed over areas that he could recall were wounded from tbe night before. The bandages were most likely Dante's doing, despite being unneeded for both of them.
It didn't take long for Vergil to deduce that Dante had dragged his unconscious body back to his shop and promptly dumped him on the couch for the night.
Vergil then moved on to self scanning in order to figure out where he was wounded and where he was not.
His chest felt like someone was sitting on him and his arms were sore. Not an aching sore, but a 'move one sixth of an inch and you will regret it' sore. His legs were numb, most likely from the awkward angle they were positioned in.
His neck was also sore, but not the same type of sore his arms were. His neck was sore like someone had hit him with a baseball bat, which was admittedly similar to sleeping wrong thanks to his devil endurance.
After his bodily scan, Vergil guessed that his ribs still had yet to heal completely and his arms were still very much shattered. Judging from his headache, Vergil also guessed that he had a cracked forehead.
Vergil sighed.
"Dante."
He called out in a relatively quiet tone, trying to get the attention of his younger brother without sending his brains across the couch leather from sheer pain.
"Welcome back to the land of the living, bro."
Dante however, couldn't tell that Vergil was in pain and spoke a little too loudly. The older half-devil grimaced as what felt like his frontal lobe screamed out in protest to the sound.
Vergil then sent out a verbal growl in response to Dante's words and from what he heard, Vergil guessed that Dante had put up his hands in surrender.
"Not feeling too good?"
"What do you think, brother?"
"I guess not..."
Relative silence then came crashing down on the two brothers, lined by a slight feeling of awkwardness.
They sat quietly, with each thinking about how to communicate without seeming awkward or forced.
"Dante, would you be so kind as to get me a Vital Star?"
Dante promptly got his feet before freezing in place. The shit eating smirk he gave Vergil was so powerful that the older half devil could feel it despite his lack of sight.
"Holy shit bro, are you asking me for help?"
"Dante, considering my inability to use my arms, yes, I am asking you for help. If you mention this to anyone-"
"Fine fine. What size?"
"A medium size should do."
Thirty seconds later Vergil heard Dante return and an object that was most definitely not a Vital Star landed on his chest.
Having regained enough tolerance to light to crack open an eye, Vergil took a peek at what had landed on him.
Lo and behold, he laid his eyes on a medium sized condom packet that had clearly not been used since it's purchase.
"Dante."
Vergil said with enough venom to poison a city's tap water.
Dante, holding the actual requested item in his left hand, shifted his weight slightly.
"Hey, you said you wanted a medium size."
"Dante, are you drunk?"
Dante stopped for a second, thinking over his next words. Eventually he simply came to terms with the fact that Vergil would just see through a lie.
"Yyyesss?"
Vergil promptly let his head fall back down onto the couch arm, which was thankfully padded and prevented any more pain from his headache.
"Give the Vital Star Dante, before I stop caring about the pain."
Dante made a face of mocking fear before stepping forward. He gently moved the Vital Star over Vergil's mouth before drawing back.
"Be nice."
Dante spoke like he was talking to a puppy who hadn't been trained. Vergil finally snapped.
"Just give me the fucking Star Dante!"
Dante was physically taken aback by the sudden outburst, completely surprised by the shattering of his calm persona.
The devil hunter simply dropped the Vital Star into Vergil's mouth before drawing back a good five paces.
Upon biting into the Vital Star, Vergil's mouth was filled with a taste that his still very angry mind recognized as 'mint leaf and unwashed ass crack'.
Vergil immediately felt the pain of his wounds worsen in the process of setting his shattered arms and healing them, cutting through flesh and repairing that as well.
His headache immediately relived itself and gave him back his ability to see without screeching at the light like a parrot on various drugs.
Vergil sat upright turned his head towards Dante, who stood nervously with a look of slight nervousness.
The stare lasted for long amount of time, with the clicking of a clock that was not present echoing in the background.
"Uh, Vergil? You okay?"
"I'm trying to decide if I should assault you or not. To break you of your intoxication."
Dante chuckled nervously as Vergil's intense stare drifted to Alastor mounted on the wall.
The older half devil stood and walked over to the Devil Arm, lifting it from it's stand and examining it.
In the middle of Vergil's examination, the gods decided to shine down on Dante with mercy on their wings.
The phone on Dante's desk rang loudly, drawing both of the brother's attention.
Dante was quick to dash over to the phone and rip it off it's stand, answering it in the process.
"Devil May Cry."
Vergil continued to examine Alastor, who vibrated in the half devil's hand. Alastor was eager to be used after so long out of the spotlight.
"Alright, we'll be right there ma'am. Stay calm, and do not touch the sword."
Vergil watched as Dante threw the phone into the air and it landed with inhuman precision on the stand.
"Well, guess we're gonna have to postpone the ass kicking Verge. Duty calls."
Dante lifted Rebellion from it's usual spot against the desk and lifted Coyote-A from it's stand on the wall.
Before he could walk out the door, Vergil grabbed Dante's shoulder.
"I'm going with you. To prevent any drunken mishaps."
Vergil said while he moved over to the staircase and lifted his coat and vest from the stairway railing.
After donning his outfit and adjusting the black crevat on his neck, Vergil followed Dante out the door.
"So, what are going up against?"
"Possesed weapon. Most likely a Devil Arm."
"Hmm. I call dibs."
"Verge, where the hell did you learn that phrase?"