Nanook barked and howled with a frightening intensity as Elizabeth and Dwayne silently walked to the door of her house. His explosion of noise seemed out of place in the eerily frozen darkness of the Santa Carla night. Everything was quiet, the wind was still, the moon was hidden behind thick and dark clouds…it felt as though the city was in mourning, as if the world had paused to wallow in the ruins of Elizabeth and Dwayne's evening.

Nanook's barking felt wrong, like laughter at a funeral and Elizabeth frowned, hand paused on the door.

She knew Nanook was outside, probably secured near the two story, rickety but sweet kennel Grandpa had built in the run up to their arrival. She closed her eyes when a feeling of guilt formed in her fragile stomach.

Nanook…did the dog know? Did the dog-

"-I'm sorry" Dwayne said, his voice quiet, interrupting the thoughts that were dully racing through her head.

Sorry…

What a loaded word.

Elizabeth nodded as she pushed open the door, entering her dark and silent house. She didn't even bother to look into the bowl as she dropped her keys in them, an action she did without thinking. No lights were on, there was no investigation into the noise Nanook was making.

She felt strangely like she had been abandoned, left to pick up the pieces of her heart and night.

Elizabeth sighed and wrapped her arms around herself.

Standing in the hallway of Grandpa's house, the place she loved and called home felt so painfully mundane, so strangely normal that she paused, not knowing what she should do. Everything that had happened in the cave seemed like it had happened on a movie screen or in the pages of a book, the supernatural stillness of the night, the feeling of the city mourning was so dreamlike…here she was, in her home. Her home…normal, known and familiar…isolating and still.

The things that shouldn't be real were real and the safety of her house felt like nothing to her.

Everything was broken and backwards and strange.

"Elizabeth?" Dwayne said, reaching out to hold her hand.

She dimly realized that he had shut the door. How long had she been stood there, drowning in her thoughts?

"Let's go upstairs, OK?" he murmured, "I'm here, I'm with you.."

With a shuddering breath, Elizabeth nodded.

He was there, he was with her. He hadn't left her side.

He had carried her out of the cave, allowed herself to curl into his arms, to bury her face into his neck, to hide and cower from everything. He had whispered to her, told her where they were, told her where he was walking, murmured that she was safe. He had held her, comforted her, and protected her.

He had taken her home safely, permitted her without comment to use him as a shield.

He had allowed her to shut down.

He hadn't abandoned her.

"This is the family bathroom" she told him dully, looking around when she realized that he had led her upstairs and into the white, comfortable but cluttered room.

She didn't even remember walking up the stairs.

"Is this what shock feels like?" she asked herself, staring into but not really seeing the room before her.

He frowned lightly at her tone as he clicked on the bright light.

"It's nice" he said, guiding her to the toilet, one hand on her lower back. He plopped the lid down before gesturing her to sit on it and she did, feeling the cold against her thighs as her dress rode up a little. He softly touched her cheek before leaving her and moving towards the sink.

She looked unseeingly at the bathtub, hearing him fiddle with some things, with the faucet but she wasn't really thinking about what he was doing.

She just felt drained.

She felt tired and empty.

"Here..." he carefully placed her toothbrush in her slack hand, not releasing it until her fingers closed around the pink plastic handle.

She nodded, not wanting to consider how he had known which one was hers. Grandpa had a floral purple toothbrush, Lucy had a glittery pastel green one...there wasn't a shortage of feminine looking brushes but he had chosen hers correctly.

"Elizabeth?" he prompted, his voice laced with concern.

She nodded and began brushing her teeth, finding it oddly easy to focus her depleted energy on the task.

Forward, back, forward, back, forward, back, don't think about the man you love being a vampire, forward, back, forward, back, forward, back, forward, back, don't think about the existence of vampires at all, forward, back, forward, back, forward, back, forward, back.

So easy.

She blinked, looking up when she realized that Dwayne was stood over her, watching her with a sad and troubled gaze.

It looked wrong, it looked horrible to see him look so defeated. He looked as defeated as she felt.

She tried to smile at him but found her the corner of her lip only twitched lamely.

"I'm sorry…" he told her softly and she nodded again before moving to the sink.

What a funny word. Sorry.

It felt like nodding was all she could do. As she mustered the energy to really attack her teeth, to scrape and scrub at her tongue, to erase any trace of vomit that still lingered in her mouth, she heard Dwayne behind her.

Toothbrush clamped in her mouth, Elizabeth froze as a burst of clarity came to her.

She said nothing as she raised a shaky hand up to the mirror before her, tugging against the magnetized door while staring at the copper faucets down on the sink. It opened with a little, reverberating click and she moved her eyes to study the contents of the cupboard. Lotions and potions and creams and not a single reflective surface in sight.

She thought she heard Dwayne pause in whatever he was doing but she didn't turn to look.

She didn't want to see his face, she didn't want to see the hurt she thought would be splashed across it.

Looking away from the cupboard, she carefully spat into the sink, ridding her mouth of the toothpaste. She felt a little better for it, the tingly, minty freshness a welcome nicety in the horror of the night.

She moved to twist the old copper taps, not waiting for the warm water to heat up as she splashed handfuls of icy water over her mouth and then over her face. It dampened her hairline and dripped down her chest but it felt good.

It was refreshing, reviving.

She focused on the feeling and began scrubbing at her face with a new vigor, hoping to erase the tear tracks, the memories of the long, difficult evening. As she rubbed with brutal efficiency, she heard Dwayne softly push aside the white shower curtain and start up the shower.

He was still the caring, thoughtful man she knew.

She thought she knew.

God, it was so confusing.

The shower spluttered to life behind her, filling the comfortable bathroom with the heavy pattering of water.

She turned off the faucet and stood hunched over the sink, her wet palms gripping the sides tightly as water slowly pooled to her nose and chin before dropping silently into the sink.

She took a shuddering breath and scrunched her eyes shut.

Away from the electric and once soothing atmosphere of the cave, away from the memory of the laughing, wonderful boys she had come to care about, she felt like the true weight of the situation was bearing down on her.

Those wonderful boys...vampires.

Paul, David..

Their laughter, his voice...they were monsters.

She heard Dwayne push the curtain back followed by the heavier patter of water fall and she knew he was checking the temperature.

She took another shuddering breath.

The man she thought she loved...

"Elizabeth?"

The man she knew she did love, crazy, horrible though it was.

She bit her lip and moved to rub at her face, her eyes again.

She didn't want to cry.

"Elizabeth..." he murmured and she clenched the sink even harder, knuckles turning white, "…everything we said was true" he told her quietly, "we would never, ever hurt you.." the room was becoming steamy now, hot and dewy thanks to the shower, "I would never hurt you…I love you. With all my heart…"

She nodded.

She trusted him.

That was part of what scared her.

"I know" she said, her voice a little hoarse.

"What can I do?"

She shook her head, "I'm...I'm scared...when I'm with you, it's so easy, so, so easy to not be scared.."

She closed her eyes, feeling his fingers ghost over the lengths of her hair.

"You're scared because it's easy with me?"

She nodded, "you're...you kill"

She felt a heavy knot in her stomach, "I don't...I can't-"

"Nobody is asking you to…"

"I'm scared because it doesn't make any sense...how can I love you so much?" her voice broke a little.

He planted a firm kiss on the top of her head and she closed her eyes at the feeling, trying to anchor herself to it, trying not to lose herself again.

"I was afraid, too" he murmured, his chin resting on the top of her head. He had pulled her close to his body, wrapping his strong arms around her chest, "…I knew you were coming. It happened suddenly...I just knew one day that my mate was coming"

She froze at his words. He had been afraid?

She couldn't imagine it.

"Why..how?"

She felt him shrug, "I just knew. And I told David…and I waited and worried…"

"Why did you worry?"

"I was petrified you wouldn't feel the same"

She closed her eyes at his words.

She took a breath, feeling safe and loved in his arms.

It was petrifying, unreal, horrific…but it was also perfect. So terribly perfect.

He released her softly and ran his fingers down her shoulders, "nothing will change, Elizabeth. No decisions have to be made, no promises given..."

She smiled a hopeless, hollow smile, eyes welling with yet more tears.

No promises?

She had already promised him everything. She had given him everything she had..her body, her heart.

She felt nauseous all over again knowing that she could very well give him her soul, too.

"Dwayne" she began to plead.

She couldn't do it, not anymore. She couldn't think about it, she couldn't consider it, she didn't want to live it…it was too much.

"Please…please just…"

He softly tugged at the zip on her dress, understanding everything in his usual way, "it's OK..I'll take care of you"

She said nothing as her dress slipped down from her shoulders and, with a little tug from Dwayne, over her hips and onto the floor. She was completely bare underneath and she was glad for the lack of mirror. She didn't want to know what she looked like, she didn't want to see bruises or dirt transferred from the cave walls.

She wanted nothing more than to forget, to start over.

It felt like an impossible dream.

Dwayne walked her towards the shower, leading her with yet another careful touch. He paused to pick up her dress, one hand still touching her as he draped the dress over the closed lid of the toilet. With all the gentleness in the world, he pushed back the curtain and helped her to step in to the big, white tub before letting the curtain fall back into place.

The water was perfectly warm and when he released her arm she slowly sunk to her knees, then shuffled to sit directly under the stream of water. She moved to curl forward before a little chill met her back and she turned instead, watching as the curtain rustled quietly. She watched as Dwayne slipped into the shower, silently and without fuss. He was naked, too, and Elizabeth couldn't contemplate how muddled time felt. Everything felt slow and fast at the same time.

It was all so disorienting.

He sat down behind her, his thighs pressing against her sides, his legs moving down to meet hers as they stretched forward a little.

"You're too big.." she told him quietly, her voice sounding far away. She could feel his torso press against her back as he stretched forward to collect one of the many shampoo bottles lining the edge of the tub. She knew that the other side of his thighs were pressed against the chilled porcelain of the bath, that his body wasn't receiving any of the warmth from the hot water pouring down onto her.

He kissed her shoulder softly and she closed her eyes, focusing on the feeling of him pressed against her, the comforting feeling as he enveloped and protected her, the feeling of his body surrounding hers.

Focusing on him and only him, trying not to think about whether he could even feel the cold.

"Don't worry about me. Do you want me to talk?" he asked her, fingers gently and softly running through her hair as the water poured down on it.

She shook her head and he silently began to massage her head and neck, using his deft fingers to brush her hair with a firmness just on the right side of comfortable. She basked in the silence, keeping her eyes closed and letting herself fall without thought into the quiet stillness of the room.

She followed his whispered instructions, tilting her head back when it he added shampoo, tilting it forward when he added conditioner to the lengths.

She had no concept of time, no idea how long they had been in the little bathroom, how long they had been sat in the bathtub.

It felt like the longest night of her life.

It was strange how utterly blank her mind had become and, as he carefully rubbed body wash into her pale skin, she found herself relaxing back into his firm body.

That was what she needed, she realized, as she couldn't even muster the energy to yawn. She had never felt so completely drained. She wanted nothing more than love and support and to not think.

"Come on" Dwayne murmured, standing slowly.

She trembled a little as his body left hers. She felt very small without him there. He turned the shower off and pushed aside the curtain, the rings scraping against the pole it was hanging from as she stood slowly, toes curling a little.

He stepped out easily, gracefully and reached over to pull a bath towel from its place on an old, wooden shelf. It was white and fluffy and he draped it over her hunched shoulders in another careful movement. He told her that he would take care of her and he was certainly true to his word. As he drip dried on the thick rug placed before the tub, he took his time and dried her body with a gentle seriousness.

She knew that she should make some effort, that she should be drying herself, dressing herself, cleaning herself but she just couldn't.

She had nothing left, nothing left to give.

She was empty-

"-you'll get sick.." he said with a frown as he looked around the room.

"Huh?" Elizabeth asked, meeting his eyes with a slow frown of her own as she was drawn into a conversation.

"Your hair" he explained, reaching out and touching the ends of her sodden hair.

"Why?"

"If you sleep with wet hair-"

"-oh. Yeah..Grandpa…Grandpa keeps the hairdryer downstairs, I..I think" she said, her brain slowly starting to work, "Mike heard it once…I didn't…but he um, he…he stuffs animals…like…."

"Taxidermy" Dwayne supplied patiently.

"Yeah…that..so I think, maybe he uses the hairdryer for…stuff"

"Of course. What else would someone use a hairdryer for?" he replied with a little quip of his lips and slowly, Elizabeth found her own smile. Her lips had barely moved but it was there, a passing and weak ghost of a smile.

Maybe she did have something to give, after all?

"I usually just…" she gestured to the towel, still draped down and over her shoulders.

Dwayne nodded, "then let's just…" before he stepped towards her.

With a gentle but firm motion, he began rubbing her hair with the towel.

"Can you go up to bed?" he asked her when the job was finished, the damp towel clutched in his hand as he squeezed her hair to check it was at a satisfactory level of dryness.

"Yes" she replied, stepping out of the tub, watching as Dwayne fussed and tried with difficulty to tie the towel over her breasts. The house was still, there was no need for modesty and she had no secrets from him but it felt like the right thing to do all the same.

A strange burst of procedure in a confused, messy night.

She gently brushed his hands away and secured it herself, "will you…." she trailed off.

She felt like the fog around her brain was clearing but she wasn't sure if that was what she actually wanted. She didn't know if she wanted him to stay, she didn't know if she wanted him to leave, she didn't know if she wanted his help, she just didn't know what she wanted.

All she knew was that she craved his comfort and even then she didn't know if that was a good thing.

"Of course" he told her, "I'll just clean up here"

She paused before nodding slowly.

'I'll just clean up here', he was so…he was so kind and so pure…

"Go up" he advised her softly and she nodded, leaving the little bathroom and padding up to her room, moving on auto-pilot.

She didn't bother to turn on the light, knowing that she would find it to be cold and sterile and when she entered her little closet, she pulled out an anonymous but thick sweater and a pair of leggings. She knew, dimly, that the leggings had a hole behind the knee and that the sweater was faded and ugly but she also dimly considered that Dwayne had seen her look a lot worse. Steadfastly ignoring the mirror – still covered with the shawl she had thought about wearing the other night – she dressed and tugged her hair into a messy, high bun.

She could hear her clock ticking beneath her window but she didn't bother to look at it.

Time wasn't important, it didn't matter.

Slowly, she sat down onto her bed. The mattress was familiar and comforting but oddly alien at the same time. She had liked the bed, liked that perfect little room tucked away in the depths of the….

Elizabeth closed her eyes and rubbed her face.

It didn't bear thinking about.

She lied down on the bed, saying nothing as Dwayne joined her silently.

She hadn't heard him come in.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" he asked her gently and she knew that whatever answer she chose to give would be respected and accepted by him. She took a small breath; it would have been easier if he had demanded to see her or insisted she have the next evening to herself. It would have been easier if he had made the decision for them, if he considered what he wanted and acted on it.

She slipped her blanket over her shoulders and nestled into her blessedly familiar and comfortable bed…wincing when she realized her new, welcome feelings of familiarity were because Dwayne had joined her.

Her troubled thoughts must have been dancing across her face or perhaps he really did know her so well because he softly took her hand, "there's no wrong answer, Elizabeth. It's whatever you want..."

Her lips quivered and dimly she wondered just how many tears she could cry this horrible night.

She knew that he meant what he was saying, she knew that he would listen to her and respect her wishes - none of it was news to her, none of it was a surprise. That was part of the reason she loved him so much, he was sweet and caring and respectful towards her. He used his words, of course but he showed her how much he loved her...and he had done since their first date.

"Could you just...could you just hold me?" she whispered, feeling defeated.

His lips found her forehead in a delicate meeting and he nodded.

"I'll take care of you" he said quietly for the second time that night, the promise in his voice unquestionable despite being barely a murmur.

He slipped fully into the bed beside her and held her tightly to him. She turned and nestled her face in the crook of his arm, holding his shirt and breathing in his scent.

"I'll always take care of you" he finished, using his free arm to tickle her back softly as she fell, hard and fast, into a dreamless sleep.