Authors Note: Thank you for reading and reviewing. :) This is just a sweet little fluffy one sot with a natural end. This is how I truly feel about someone so important in my life. He is there when I don't ask him to be, he hugs me when I'm down and reminds me of the person I used to be before life fucked me over. This chapter is dedicated to him because without him here I wouldn't be either.

And to his family you are the most incredible, stabling influence in my life right now and I don't know how I will ever repay you for the kindness and patience you've shown me these last 15 years

Disclaimer: I do not own a thing. Apart from my own sanity I think I own that but not too sure.

To You,

For letting me into your heart and loving me first

Your Reply,

Thank you for showing me how my heart could open and, yeah, you did my heart good

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Gazing along the opposite side of the narrow cobbled street James searched for his new favourite place, a quiet bar where he had ate, most nights alone away form the prying eyes of any interfering muggles who had on previous nights joked about James unusual attire. He briefly looked over his shoulder when he heard the tip tap of Lily's heels hit the metal staircase. Running into her like this was coincidence, thought James- he knew there were rules but Lily had all but flung them violently from the back of a broomstick. He wondered why he was unable to stay away from her knowing everything that could fall upon their heads, it felt good to have something to smile about for a change and who else was to know he was spending the afternoon with her? Who were they really hurting if they caught up over a few drinks? Linking her arm through his James felt Lily's head rest gently against his shoulder she was capturing his attention with every rise of her chest as she walked briskly against him.

He had been wanting to resist Lily's subtle attempts to recapture his amorous attention, something he had convinced himself would never happen again but she seemed insistent on pushing her body as close to him as she could possibly manage without knocking them both over.

Lily shivered and unfolded the thick woollen scarf around her neck tucking it into the creases of her jacket.

'I think you should head home I don't want Sirius to worry I've hexed you' she said slurring every second or third word carelessly.

'Come on Lily.' James scoffed. 'You really think Sirius knows where I am?'

'Ah! James, come on!' she said wide eyed 'I practically had to share you with him most of our seventh year during our Auror training! How is this time any different?'

'If you hadn't noticed we've done some considerable growing up since then. And Sirius Black is not my keeper' he responded. Lily eyed him carefully.

Lily snorted. 'Not much of a Seeker either.'

'Better than you'

Lily groaned.

'One time James. The one time. You won't let me forget it will you'

He smirked.

'Not a chance, Lily. Not a chance'

\/\/\/\/

Over an hour later they had already visited The Nowster and The Skinny Pirate where Lily had happily sunk herself two glasses of Chardonnay, the once crisp clean wedding bag was creased and had indifferently stuffed under her arm. James suggested they both go home but it appeared that was not going to happen as Lily appeared to be making more and more excuses to linger longer in his company. He knew the sword of Damocles was most likely hovering above his head but James was seizing every moment he could with the witch that had once belonged in his heart. Watching Lily run through the snow like an excited child toward the train station the worries of the war were flung from his mind.

"The 18:07 to Manchester is delayed by approximately thirty minutes. The train departing from platform 8 to Portsmouth is cancelled due to adverse weather conditions. Please stand by for further announcements…'

'I hate the apparition restrictions' glancing up at the timetable she sighed in frustration and stamped her feet and misplacing her feet on the icy floor she slipped spiralling dramatically backwards.

James reached out for her and Lily had all the vigour of a lame rabbit and smiled stupidly up at her own inability to stand on her own two feet.

'Up we get Lilypants' he said sighed. He caught the deep crimson colour appearing on Lily's cheeks and there was a small part of his ego which relished the deep red blush. She tried to pull away from him, it was almost like she didn't want to look at him and James had an annoying habit of making her see him. 'Lily apart from a bruised arse are you 'kay?'

'It's wet too' she said pinching the hem of her trousers she pulled them around her middle. 'Maybe I could do with sitting somewhere warm?'

'And not to mention you don't wanna leave me sat out here on my own with all these muggles in the cold do you,' he said cautiously 'you don't know what I'll do without your supervision?'

'One drink James.' Lily said trying not to slur. He brightened up instantly. 'One' she reiterated waggling a finger in his face. 'And no…you know what…'

He grinned. 'I wasn't the one blushing, Miss Evans.'

'Thought we were being normal'

'This is our normal' the familiar arrogant insistence returning to his voice.

He made her laugh unintentionally as his hand wrapped around hers dragging her fingers into his palm till every one of her slender fingers interlaced with his own.

James led Lily down a lime painted green spiral staircase. Dangling overhead was a collection of dirty, old rum bottles. Leading her further underground James enjoyed the curious look on Lily's face as they passed a row of talking shrunken heads. The deeper they went the darker it became until the early evening light of the streets above were a distant memory. Low dim flames flickered from the gas lamps bracketed along the law which cast long eerie shadows over the narrowing staircase.

Lily followed James and they emerged at the bottom of the staircase into a wide circular room with a high ceiling that was painted black with a massive bright chandelier which hung low emitting a beautiful warm glow over the centre of the room. The bar curled around one half of the room where a large array of bottles displayed glinting in the light from the chandelier.

On the other side of the room a selection of booths set back deeply into the wall almost out of view of the bar. Lily peered over one empty booth in particular where she noticed a bright red candle burning low on the table and her heart jumped into her throat. Brushing the bare skin of her forearm gently against James' scarred flesh she brought his eyes to her gaze and flashed her eyes towards the booth.

'I'll be over there'

Lily observed a mild look of interested panic reach James' hazel eyes.

'Usual?' he asked 'Or sticking to the apple juice?'

'Oh,' Lily looked back to the bar and shrugged. 'Anything rum flavoured' she said casually.

Feigning mild surprise at her he said. 'Tempted?'

'You never know. I might've just changed my mind' Lily replied her curiosity piqued at the different looking bottles behind the bar. The booth was snug, a neat leather loveseat carved into the hollow of the room. There was red wax all over the table from where the candle had started burning and Lily picked at it whilst she waited for James to bring the drinks.

This was a perfect place. No prying eyes. She glanced back at James who was standing at the bar, damn the weather. And damn his arrogance, he knew how to play with her feelings and knew precisely what he was doing. The place had a distinct muggle feeling despite James' earlier protests about muggles Lily knew there was no magic in this bar.

Lily was starting to realise how easily she was succumbing to her own feelings. His behaviour was having significant impact. James joined her in the booth placing the drinks onto the table. Perching himself on the cushions next to her Lily shuffled closer to him.

'I've got one-word running through my head Lily,' he said resting comfortably back.

'And what's that James?' like before her hand automatically found his. He didn't reply instantly. He turned quiet and Lily began to seductively run her fingers slowly over the dense fabric of his jeans, where the material tightened her forefinger linger closer before tailing off, her hand changed direction subtly and roamed down the outside of his thigh.

Lily snugly nestled her head on his shoulder and sighed crossing her hand over his thigh she brought it upwards placing it lightly flat against his chest. His heart pumps were pulsed rapidly through the palm of her hand. The top of her head lightly grazed the stubble covering his chin. James rubbed his chin into her hair he had thrown his arm down over her back and he felt her body rest comfortably up against his. The same familiar feelings he had once experienced returned to him like a seeking bludger trying to knock him from his broom.

'You've no idea how much I'm resisting the urge to kiss you,' James muttered quietly

'Willpower failing you, huh?'

'You could say that,' James mumbled Lily peeked the faintest hint of a smile on his face. His eyes lingered over the exposed skin of her shoulder. It was like her thoughts were replacing his own.

'I didn't think you thought about me like that anymore,' Lily said moving her body forward she nervously sipping her drink, aware of his eyes on her as she left the comfort of his embrace.

'Feelings like that don't just go away,' James admitted honestly trying to tear his eyes away from her creamy pale complexion. Lily saw his lip start to tremble as if all conscious rational thoughts were being well and truly blasted from the room.

Lily shuffled slightly closer to him. She pushed her hands over her lap trying to resist the urge to run them back over his thighs and along the tight waistband of his jeans. Her head and heart were no longer communicating. She had to physically restrain herself.

'Oh,' Lily bit her lip and felt his face move closer to hers. Moving her head closer into his shoulder she watched him take another drink of his beer. Floating her hands over his lap she found his fingers once more and slipped her hand over his as if stopping her fingers moving closer. 'Really?'

'Yes, really,' he said his voice husky and barely audible. Lily studied his face carefully trying to rationally respond to him in a sensible mature way but her maturity was fast evaporating. Words tumbled dumbly out of her mouth.

'You still think of me?'

'Of course I do, you aren't someone I was ever likely to forget.' James said. Lily could hear the rattle of his breath as he spoke, his lips brushed against her forehead lightly. Her heart wanted to hear more.

'And hypothetically speaking,' Lily began removing her head from James' shoulder staring at him 'if things were different, if you hadn't completely taken leave of your senses- do you think we would be together?'

'Lily, this is dangerous territory,' he muttered darkly 'you know what Dumbledore said'

'Humour me,' Lily said firmly her free hand tightly gripping her half empty glass.

'Yes, you know we would,'

She gently bit down on her bottom lip as she dared him to look at her with an unbridled hunger, and uncontrolled desire was willing him to give into temptation. He took one last look at her before he turned his attention back on his drink.

'That's good to know' Lily added, her lips faltering into a forced smile. He suspected he had offended her somehow as she leant backwards away from him. There was an anger simmering behind her smile, he could tell.

'It doesn't go away overnight, you can't just do that,' James explained, looking almost sorrowful that she had moved away from him.

'It's been two years James. Why are we such a complicated thing? Shouldn't it' she said suddenly placing her head back on his shoulder, he smiled down at her, his free hand had draped around her shoulder slowly. Lily snuggled closer into him.

'I don't know Lily. It's just the way we are.' James groaned his hand gently rocked her shoulders pulling her nearer. He looked down at her over his glasses, his head then leant atop of hers and he kissed her forehead. Lily shifted her weight and moved her shoulders against the back of chair sitting up. James moved with her.

'Oh James,' Lily sighed heavily moving her hand slowly moving her hand along James' arm drawing a line all the way down resting upon his wrists where the little scars were visible just beneath his long cuffed white shirt.

'Really am resisting over here Lily,' James fiddled with his glass. He glanced down, her free roaming hand which had now once again migrated to his thigh, this time her forefinger travelled along the inside of his leg grazing the tightening area of his jeans. James couldn't move. His eyes followed Lily's finger as it travelled further up his leg.

'That bright pink neon sign you once mentioned James?' Lily whispered pensively her hand hovering patiently at the top of his jeans. She lowered her lips to the soft patch of skin at the nape of his neck, her tongue finding the sweetest spot on is neck. He had once told her that her emotions were often so obvious a bright pink neon sign would've been less blaring.

'Careful' he murmured. Lily's warm lips left their mark upon his skin.

'You know that sign is still lit, don't you' she teased resting back against his body.

'Yes Lily well I've tried powering it down' he joked. 'But you seem insistent on keeping it lit'

'How's that working for you?' Lily said her head back leaning against James' broad shoulder, and Lily felt his arm start to drop around her waist.

'Failing, badly,' James mumbled. He lowered his gaze. 'Very, very badly'

As Lily moved her head once again this time James was unable to resist her. Lily nuzzled her head beneath his chin collapsing into his chest, she nervously rubbed her nose with her hand and she smiled at him again. Her arms reached out to him. There was nothing holding her back- why should it? He was not exactly telling her not to respond like this! She held him so tightly fearing that if she let him go he would vanish. The lingering smell of coconut oil wrapped her senses in heavy reminiscent memories. As he pulled away Lily froze. He moved slowly towards her the tip of his nose lightly brushing against her cheek. His lips searching for her.

And before she even had time to comprehend the situation he gave in to temptation. There was a soft velvet feeling to his lips as he pressed gently against her, closing her eyes a flood of warmth filled Lily up over brimming with desire for him to kiss her deeper she moaned. Trying to gently to coax James' to kiss her again when her lips parted Lily pushed harder over his mouth eager to prevent breaking contact.

Lily softly opened her eyes. James had moved away, shamefully preoccupied with where his hands were.

They said nothing to each other until James' hand found purpose and he clutched his glass drinking the remaining amber liquid, which sloshed in the bottom of his glass.

'So you still like me then,' she blushed not really knowing what else to say.

'What do you think…' James said not even daring to look at her.

Dragging her robe on preparing to leave, James shuffled from the booth and held his hand out to Lily who laughed at him.

'No James' shaking her head vehemently Lily jumped down from the booth 'please don't do that'

The city was sparse and the road was deserted. Snow had begun to lay thick and fast on the ground giving the city its beautiful bespoke Christmas card look. They walked up out of the bar Lily shivered the cold wind hitting her face, she glanced at James who was pulling his coat collar up around his neck. Clasping hands Lily felt the warmth from James spread through her it was warmer than wearing gloves (which Lily had left in the bar, as per usual).

Momentarily stopping in front of a tall statue of a well-known politician James turned to Lily, their hands still tightly clasped together.

'Lily,' he said raising her hand to his lips. 'You know my feelings for you never changed, they just got buried deep. Because they had too Lily,'

'And now James, where are they now?' Lily said a slight hopefulness in her voice and for a moment James was completely quiet.

'Well, James?' she said staring at him infuriated by his silence.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The night air was cooler and snowflakes were turning to ice as they hit the ground. Standing closely to James, a smoky scent emanating from his breath Lily stared hard at him.

Lily was still waiting for an answer. But James wasn't inclining to give her one. They walked along the deserted road and turned up back down towards the river.

'You know what I said Lily' James raised her hands to his lips again pressing his mouth over each of her fingers one by one, looking at her added 'that was the past and that's where it needs to stay'

'If you know how I feel James then- and you just kissed me,' Lily said her voice starting to shake.

Dropping her hands from his she slipped her fingers out of their embrace. Anger was starting to replace her amorous entanglement.

'Lily,' he began. 'It is getting harder and harder to just turn this off,'

'I'm not asking you too,' Lily said half sternly. 'I just want answers from you James.'

'Lily you know I haven't got a choice in this'

They came to a stop by the river next to a long half broken bench, James collapsed onto the bench waiting for Lily to join him but she stayed standing. She paced up and down in front of him.

'No we haven't just because Dumbledore says! Dumbledore always has the last fucking word James, and I'm just a teeniest bit sick of everyone trying to fucking protect me!'

'Because everyone cares about us Lily. I care about you '

Lily scoffed. The infatuated feelings James presumed she had carried minutes before began to evaporate before his very eyes.

'No James you don't care, and all Dumbledore cares about is defeating Voldemort and using other people to do it for him because he's too much of a coward to perform the arduous task himself'

'We all want the same thing' James said

'And that is why we were never going to work because you really are Dumbledore's man through and through aren't you Potter?' Lily screamed at him. He took a step back and James didn't appreciate the angry look she was now giving him. 'You assume everyone needs protecting, but not me James. I can protect myself. The world is not as black and white just because you make it like that'

'What are you saying to me?' he asked 'that you side with Snape like before? Lily that man will betray you'

Wrong thing to say. Lily rushed at him her hand coming down hard across his face as she slapped him hard across the cheek.

'No you don't get to talk about him to me,' Lily felt hot tears begin to bubble from inside her, she felt the wave of anger start to creep into her being.

'Lily you can only trust those who truly love you. They wouldn't betray you'

'And do you love me James, do you are capable of loving someone other than yourself?' snapping at him Lily walked away from him. Defiantly walking towards East Parkway where the buildings became sparser and the little cafes and bars where they met the greenery of Hyde Park. Light was low and snow was falling faster.

'I don't believe I am being asked that.'

'It's an observation James. You don't love me'

'I don't love you?' he said repeating it slowly.

'You left me!' she shrieked 'you betrayed me'

'No, no, not this shit again' he said racing to catch up with her. 'I had no choice.' He said aggressively

'Oh yes James! It's hard to listen to the truth isn't it? 'Cos clearly no one before me has ever had the balls to tell you that you are wrong, Potter!'

'I didn't betray you.' James said quietly.

'You did. Because you hurt me more than Severus ever could, you loved me James. And then one day you just didn't anymore' she whispered. James poured his emotions into a cauldron and kept it locked away, like the warlock with the hairy heart.

'I promised you didn't I that once things were done. Once HE was gone that we could be together. Properly, without worry Lily. Your safety comes first to me'

'Not good enough James! We are stronger together, when have you ever known me to hide from anything! You aren't the only one fighting this war, James Potter! For Flamels stone, let me help you'

James turned away from her. He couldn't believe how quickly his situation had turned. The temptation they had allowed themselves seemed a desperate, distant memory. He was becoming starkly reminded why he had decided to cool things of with her in the first place.

'You haven't really thought how I feel James.'

'Lily all I ever fucking think about is how you feel; you don't give me a second to think about how I feel because you are so busy fucking me telling me' shouted James. Lily was quick to retort.

'And like you ever listen to me!'

'Lily you don't always understand what I am trying to tell you.'

Lily sat down on the bench.

'I'm here. I'm listening to you'

James stared out across the torrent ripples of the River Ouse bobbing and flowing.

'Okay, Lils. I was not mature enough to navigate it, I mean us. I couldn't see a way through things. Lily I was scared I would lose you, scared something would happen. Do you know that I didn't stop protecting you? I didn't just wake up one morning and decide to stop loving you.'

'And you think I stopped, James you still have the same effect on me. Earlier should've shown you that'

'Well yeah Lily I aint no idiot, but tonight was' James paused '- it was a weak moment'

'So how come such a weak moment made us both feel so good. I know you felt something James.'

The high level of alcoholic intoxication was subsiding and James was acutely aware he was sobering up. His fingers were starting to freeze, he reached for his wand and gently poked at his fingers and a red warm glow spread over his hands.

'Maybe we should just go home' sighed James stuffing his hand in his pocket.

'Why so you can avoid me even more!'

'No you look freezing' he commented. His anger towards his ex-girlfriend dissipating seeing frost bite at her lip, she was shivering. 'Lily pass me your hands,' but she moved them away and he insistently grabbed them anyway. Pressing his warmth over her skin.

'I didn't want you to feel the cold,' he added looking at her surprised expression when she looked up.

'It's nice of you James, but I'm still pissed at you,' Lily said gratefully, muffled into the collar of his jacket snowflakes spiralling over her hair, she had left her hat back in the bar. He placed his arms more tightly around her letting Lily roll her head against his shoulder. 'But I don't think you deserved such an ear lashing'

He sweetly kissed her forehead snowflakes melting over his lips.

'What was that?' she mumbled pulling slowly away from James' body. Lily looked up at him her hair damp from where the snow had begun to touch it, her eyes bright and sparkling even if the light was fading fast stared at James intently.

'Your head looked cold too,'

Lily's lips quivered against the cold. James still had his arms wrapped tightly around her.

'And James?'

'Yes Lily?'

This time Lily kissed him.

'My lips were cold too…'

Lily and James turned back towards the city. Lily's wrapped her arm tightly through James' as they walked together along the banks of the river heading towards the park where the lights were few and people even more so. James cast a wry drunken glance at what Lily was wearing. She was still clutching the wedding bag, the handle wrapped around her wrist was starting to cut into her skin. Her long legs were striding out in front of her and James noticed the coat was sensible but still fell just above her knee where he could make out a sheer pair of stockings were being held up by red suspenders peeking out beneath the hem of her short skirt.

'Didn't mention it before but I approve' he said as they came to a stop at a pelican crossing, cars were flying around the corner oblivious to anyone else on the road.

'Approve James?'

'You look lovely' James stammered. His free hand jumped to his hair.

'Old habits eh?' Lily smirked catching him running his fingers through his tangled mess. The lights were still on red. James turned his head to face her.

'Not so much habit, more nerves,' he said, taking Lily's hands he stared into her eyes for a moment before embracing her again. She pushed gently away from him smiling

'And what could possibly make you nervous James Potter?'

'Do I have to be obvious here Lily?' he said tilting his glasses against the thin bridge of his nose. His dark eyes half open glowering at her over the densely lined rim of his spectacles.

'Not me, surely,'

'When have you ever NOT made me nervous?' James said.

Lily flung herself onto James her arms grasping around his shoulders and his arms grasped around her small waist.

'Oh what the hell' he said 'one more kiss won't hurt,'

And he forcefully crushed his lips against her. She was too stunned to do anything, this kiss was deeper and more urgent as if it was the last time he was ever going to be able to touch her this way. He pulled away from her suspecting that for whatever reason this time she wasn't as enthralled with him as she had been in the bar. She was aware that eyes in the station were upon them and she tried to move but too late he had kissed her.

'Lily-I'm sorry'

'You're my James, James' Lily whispered, his hands leaving hers. It was like he was stopping himself from coming back to her. He stepped away from her, Lily looking at him half desperately half sorrowful with a stream of thoughts pulsating through her brain. 'I need to know this isn't going to be the last time I ever get to see you'

James half-cocked his head to the side and smiled sadly at Lily.

'I don't know the answer to that Lily. You know we shouldn't-'

Lily was half hoping he would tell her something different than the words that had just tumbled from his mouth. And when he didn't say what she hoped to hear she felt anger begin to well again up inside her, she knew this was wrong and the Firewhisky had gone to her head. Lily's head was full like memories swilling around the bottom of a well.

'We've defied him already, James. You don't think we could just try again?'

James looked over the top of head.'Lily you've drank too much. You need to go home'

'Goodnight James,' she said her voice stiffening. Lily didn't know what to do because her feelings were bubbling beneath the surface. Lily held out her hand to him and he looked at it like it was about to bite him, her demeanour was so cold and stiff. 'It was lovely to meet you again.'

Enough, Lily thought. Enough.

Lily waited on a cold hard silver backed bench halfway along the platform, twitching her hands anxiously she waited for her train, she always travelled the muggle way after a mission and tonight was no different.

Except tonight she felt something she never thought she would ever feel again, and that was the sensation of James Potter's lips on hers. Running her finger lightly over where he had smudged her lip gloss she closed her eyes. It had been a mistake. Her mistake.

She was half annoyed and half hating him right now for everything she was feeling. And what was worse he was probably home by now over three hundred miles away from her and there was nothing she could do or say that was going to make her feel better.

'The next train to arrive at platform 4 is the 19:37 to Portsmouth,' the announcer called, the brisk harshness of the voice woke Lily from her slightly whimsical state. Her hair was matted to the inside of her scarf and she flicked it out scratching then nape of her neck her fingers wound around the silver chair hanging from her neck. Her beautiful cross, the only item of jewellery she had kept from her father after he walked out on her mother when Lily was 13, she wore it as a sense of empowerment rather than religious reasons.

The train pulled in and Lily looked along the train for the emptiest compartment she could find and where she could sit in peace quietly and try make sense of James' actions. Not to mention her own reckless behaviour. she ran her finger over her lips memorising every small movement his mouth had made and the tasteful sensation of warmth that his kisses so often brought her. He had been her everything. And even just a fleeting moment in his company reminded her of all the things she loved about him.

As the train pulled out of the station Lily began to wonder, was the war really worth giving up on love?

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

James Potter hadn't gone home or to the University like he was supposed to be doing, no, instead he had apparated to Sirius Blacks apartment and dragged a begrudging Sirius out into London. He headed for The Shaftesbury, a pub popular with the Theatre crowd just off Denmark Street in the West End. This had been the old haunts of many of the Hogwarts crowd when they came to muggle London because they felt they didn't have to pretend to be muggles, they could just be their plain old wizarding selves and fit in like a glove amongst the many musicians and actors who frequented the places all along Denmark Street.

'Remind me again' Sirius said 'why you pulled me away from the home comforts of my date with our landlady and what the hell was so damn important you abandon a fucking mission?' as James placed a pint in front of him.

'It's Lily, Sirius,'

'What the fuck Prongs? You are joking right-,'

James sighed. He suspected this reaction from Sirius but earnestly hoped he would at least give him an opportunity to explain.

When James spoke his voice sounded hollow and taking a sip of his drink closing his eyes said. 'I saw her in York, Padfoot' James tried to gage Sirius' response. After a moment of silence Sirius spoke.

'What did you do?' Sirius said slowly dragging the glass away from his lips.

'The exact thing we're not supposed to do,' James said running his fingers through his hair. 'I might've kissed her and-

'For the sake of Flamel, Prongs!' Sirius cried loudly, gaping at his friend. 'I thought you guys were finally agreeing to the "not seeing each other… it will endanger you both" kinda thing, its been over a year Prongs- you just couldn't help yourself could you?'

'I know Sirius, I know, but she isn't just 'some witch' is she?' James said frustration

'Lily will be reading so much into this right now Prongs, you are only hurting her longer you know that right?' Sirius paused waiting for James to respond, but when he didn't he continued 'you two cannot be together right now,'

James traced his fingers over the lines appearing over his face. The stress of not being able to be honest, completely honest with Lily was starting to take its toll. And not to mention the reason they couldn't be together. Voldemort.

'I didn't mean to hurt her, the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her.'

'Then end it, properly this time,' Sirius aid firmly his face was not smiling. He cared for both Lily and James, and above all wanted them kept alive. And if that meant being apart so be it, at least for now. And that is what Sirius thought James was misunderstanding, Albus had told them it would not be forever- just till the war was over. And for that Sirius couldn't understand why James and Lily couldn't just be.

'I can't tell her that, Sirius,' James said sounding half desperate.

'For the sake of your own life James- and Lily's'

'Have you never loved anyone Padfoot, and I don't mean just the casual thing you and EJ have- no offence. But ever truly felt real love?'

'What's real to you James might not necessarily be real to me,' Sirius flinched uncomfortably

'Well Lily- she is my real,' James said heavily looking glumly at his drink 'she did my heart good,'

Sirius was growing concerned, he knew James and Lily had at one time meant everything to each other and when they were at school (apart from Paige) James had never had another girlfriend other than Lily. And Sirius had to concede with James, Lily was his "real". Sirius moved from his seat to head for the bathroom.

James leant back into the seating, his hands absently playing with the half empty pint glass he saw over in the corner of the pub a cute couple, ginger haired girl and her dark blonde haired boyfriend, barely 17 he guessed – hands all over each other- a sparkling white ring shimmered when the dim lights of the pub fell on the girls third finger. James remembered when he had proposed to Lily. She had been half asleep after a very exhausting shift at St Mungos, resting in front of the fire he had placed the little silver box behind the clock on the mantlepiece, nearly twice dropping it in the fire. She hadn't believed him when he was down on one knee in front of the flames. James glanced back at the young couple- their hands finally off each other as the girl beamed at her ring, her bearded fiancé wouldn't take his eyes of her, nuzzling her ear with his nose.

Turning his attention away from the couple James glared gloomily at the half empty pint glass as he waited for Sirius to return.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Authors Note: Thank you for reading. And to the best friend a witch could ever ask for I raise my wand and salute you Sir, as you are truly a gentleman who is worth celebrating.

\/\/\/