"Did I wake anyone up?" Elizabeth asked quietly, shutting her bedroom door with a gentle and careful movement.
She had brushed her teeth once more and, fearful of making too much noise, had opted for a quick wipe down rather than a full on shower. She'd never realized how loud everything was; the flush of the toilet, tap water as it hit the sink. It felt like even the smallest of movements made a deafening racket and while she was sure it wasn't actually the case, she turned to Dwayne for reassurance. She'd surprisingly been very quick in getting ready for bed. Her hair was nicely tousled after her dunking, anyway, and she hadn't been too salty. She'd actually felt quite clean and fresh and it had taken her almost no time to ready herself for bed. She had left her clothes in the laundry hamper and had dashed, lightly and with great haste, away from the bathroom and up to her room.
"No. You were fine" he assured her, sitting on the end of her bed. As his eyes grazed over her naked form, something she felt she would never, ever tire of, he reached out his arm. His action was so smooth, so without fanfare that it made her pause.
She smiled at him, seeing a bundle of unfamiliar fabric clutched in his hand. With a curious tilt of her lips, she stepped towards him and cocked her head to the side, accepting his offering.
It didn't escape her that he grinned as she unfolded it in bemused confusion and she could feel him watching as a smile spread across her face.
She finally recognized the oversize material. It was one of his t-shirts, "when did you bring this?" she breathed at him, stunned into thankful glee by his simple but incredibly thoughtful gesture.
She shook it out a little and he shrugged easily, watching her with a dancing eyes. She pressed the material tightly to her face, inhaling deeply, "it smells like you…" she glanced over at him, smiling softly, "thank you. Really. This is so sweet, Dwayne…"
He nodded softly as he watched her slip it on and while his reaction was subdued, she knew that he was pleased by her reaction. His t-shirt barely covered her upper thighs but it was so comfortable, it felt like she was enveloped in his arms. He couldn't stay with her but it would still feel like he was there. Running her fingers over the high hem, she asked him, "…how do I look?"
"Amazing" he said, his voice a deep rumble.
Leaning down to give him a small kiss, standing between his open legs, she repeated once more, "thank you…"
As his hands roamed the bare skin of her thighs, he watched her, "for the shirt?"
"Yes…but also for everything" she let her fingers play with the ends of his hair, "I had so much fun tonight. I really did"
"I'm glad you had fun"
"I'm grateful that you've shared your pack with me…" his hands stilled and, hesitantly, she murmured, "…I'm glad to be part of it"
Biting her lip, she looked down at him, watching as his smile tightened a little.
"They're wild but amazing"
He nodded.
"I really like them"
She was hoping that he would say something but she couldn't help feel a bit disappointed when he finally did speak.
"I'm glad" he repeated and she sighed, nodding at his words.
With a sinking feeling, Elizabeth realized Dwayne wasn't going to be as open as Marko was. Tilting her head, she wondered for just a moment before asking him softly, "when are you going to share your thoughts with me, Dwayne?"
She knew that there was no point dancing around the subject. If she was subtle, he would run with it and she would never have a serious talk. She had to be frank and honest if she wanted the same from him.
"I already do" he told her, his hands running down her thighs in one motion.
"…when I ask" she said, realizing that while he always answered her questions, he had never volunteered information.
It was strange. After Marko's openness, she could clearly see that Dwayne was holding back from her. She hadn't realized it before but she felt like her eyes had been opened. She knew the truth and she wouldn't be able to brush it off.
"You are holding back from me though, aren't you?" she asked him gently, her voice soft.
"Elizabeth…" there was a tiredness in his voice but she shook her head, knowing that he wasn't tired.
He was afraid.
"Are you afraid?" she pushed.
"Of what?"
"…telling me the truth"
"I've always told you the truth" he repeated, "whatever you-"
"-ask" they both finished at the same time.
He closed his mouth.
She smiled at him, laughing a gentle little breath as she shook her head, "see? You wouldn't have told me about the water, would you? Not unless I asked you directly…" her hands found his hair again, "and I would never think to ask about something like that…"
"It's early, Elizabeth" he said, his voice gentle but dismissive, "you should go to bed-"
"-I'm not going to bed" she told him, "I want to talk about this with you…"
She wondered if it was the weed, if it was the beer she had drank that had emboldened her so much but, as she looked down into his eyes, she realized it was love.
She loved him.
She didn't want him to be uncomfortable, frightened, worried.
She loved him and she didn't want him to suffer in silence. She didn't want him to hide himself.
"…I talked with Marko. Now, I want to talk with you"
"You're comfortable talking with him, aren't you?" Dwayne said in reply, his voice unobtrusive and easy but, again, there was a hesitance lacing his words.
"Yes..." she smiled softly down at him, "he's easy to talk to. There are no secrets. He's nice in his tone but he tells it like it is, even though what he says is kind of dark…"
She hoped that he understood what she was getting at. She hoped he saw that she could take it, she could stomach the darkness.
For a moment, Dwayne paused, his hands frozen against her thighs once more and Elizabeth nodded, watching him, trying to encourage him. She thought that perhaps he would say something but he didn't and so she continued, "...I like that. I appreciate his honesty and his openness even though it gets a bit real..."
Dwayne's hands moved from her legs and he scooped up her hands, pulling them away from his shoulders. Gently kissing her knuckles, he released them and stood, stepping away from her body and moving towards the window with silent and slow steps.
When he spoke, his voice was controlled, "you're not his mate"
"No" she agreed, her voice pleasant, "I'm not"
"It's easier for him. Marko has nothing to lose through his openness"
"Neither do you"
"Elizabeth-"
"-Dwayne" she interrupted, her voice a little harder "...with all due respect to your feelings, please don't dismiss mine"
She could feel where he was going with his words, she felt like she knew what he was going to say and she didn't want to hear it. She loved him but she didn't want to hear excuses. He was right. She was his mate, she was his. Like Marko, he had nothing to fear.
It was the first time she had spoken to him with any kind of firm seriousness and it felt strange to be doing so.
It almost felt like she was gearing up for a fight.
He must have felt it too because he turned to look at her.
Taking the chance, she spoke, her voice quiet but firm, "I know my heart and I know my feelings-" he opened his mouth but she pressed on, "-I know myself...and I know that nothing will change the way I feel about you...nothing about who you are, about what you are. I've experienced David's mind games, I've spoken with Marko and I still like both of them-"
"-because you're so-" his voice was pained, his control wavering.
"-if you say I'm nice, I'm going to scream" she told him, fully meaning it.
She shook her head a little, suddenly hating the word.
Nice.
Nice, nice, nice.
She'd never loathed a word before.
"You'll wake your brother up"
"I'll say it was a period cramp"
Dwayne sighed and shook his head. He looked torn and when he spoke, there was an honest discomfort lacing his words, "I wanted to kill your Grandmother when you told me about the robe" he said quietly and Elizabeth felt her shoulders slump in relief.
It was the first time he had addressed his own darkness and it felt good to hear. It felt necessary and it felt freeing. He'd been so uncomfortable, so cagey on the beach and with his pack's openness, it was all the more obvious. She was glad that Marko had spoken to her, she was thankful that he had given her an insight into Dwayne's feelings and she was glad that Dwayne was finally opening up to her himself, even if she had to push him.
"...Dwy-"
"-she did a horrible, horrible thing to you and if I had the chance, Elizabeth...if I had the chance I would kill her" he said, looking out of the window once more, "my reaction is to kill and yours is-"
"-isn't that nice" she interrupted, shaking her head.
He looked so torn, so conflicted and it killed her a little. He was the only one hiding himself, he was the only one suffering. It wasn't fair. David discussed what he was in the coldest, bluntest and iciest of ways. He made no moves to spare her feelings, to hide who he was from her. Paul was an open book; loud and energetic and happy and she knew that he didn't give even the smallest of cares about hiding who he was, either. Marko had told her everything she wanted to know, he had made no apologies or excuses for his darkness.
She wanted, she needed for Dwayne to do the same.
She didn't want him to hide himself from her.
He looked at her, a scowl marring his features and she shrugged apologetically.
She didn't like to see him uncomfortable. She didn't want to fight, to push him, to cause him pain, too. She didn't like that he was in such a difficult position and she didn't want to add to his suffering but...she had to do it, she had to make him understand.
She had accepted David and Paul even after their stupid actions during that fateful night. She had accepted Marko fully, despite his assurances that he was brutal. She didn't doubt him but still, she accepted him.
Nothing would ever make her reject Dwayne and he needed to know.
"I love you"
"Elizabeth-"
"-Look, Dwayne. My Grandmother is an old, old woman with a really messed up hip and insurance that won't cover it. She lives alone in a giant house that she can barely maintain, her only son sends her a card twice a year - written and signed by his secretary, by the way - and her husband died in a ton of debt...she used to be 'Ms. Fine-Dining and Pearls Everyday' and now she's barely keeping her head above water…"
Elizabeth shook her head again, "…she treated me poorly because she saw a target, I was an outlet for her misery and I knew it. That's why it was easy for me to dismiss..." she half raised her hands in a gesture of defeat before shaking her head again, "…I know that she's miserable and I know that misery loves company and I knew that I was spending Christmas with my mom and my brothers while she was probably eating an instant meal alone in her dining room...it wasn't hard for me to brush it off..."
He was frowning at her and she looked down at his feet, feeling a little ashamed by her admission, "she did something bad to me but in the grand scheme of things, she had it way worse...I knew all the bad things going on with her and I actually used it to dismiss her...that's not nice...it's actually pretty damn mean..."
Still looking at his feet she said, "thank you for trusting that I'm a nice person, thank you for seeing the good in me but...Dwayne, I'm not a perfect angel. Nobody is...you shouldn't...I don't know, you shouldn't dismiss my flaws because I do have them and you shouldn't assume that I...Dwayne, you shouldn't think that I'm not, that I can't..." she didn't know how to articulate what she wanted to say.
She wanted him to know that she just didn't care.
Sure, she was nice, whatever that meant. She didn't really swear or fight and she tried to be a good person but that didn't mean she was an angel. It didn't mean she'd never done anything bad and it certainly didn't mean that she would reject him.
She loved him, she wanted him.
He was her mate and that's all there was to it.
God, if he could see that she had embraced the pack...why couldn't he trust that she would embrace him fully, too?
He was her mate.
She thought of Marko's words, his blunt but kind and useful insight into vampires and she sighed.
"...what you are doesn't change who you are and it never will"
She shook her head and sat on the bed, plopping herself down with a frustrated drop.
The silence stretched on for a moment and Dwayne slowly moved from the window. He crouched before her, taking her hands in his.
She was reminded of how he had supported her in the cave during those confused moments after she regained consciousness. He had been so careful, so kind and supportive after her terror...he had knelt before her in much the same way, giving her water and encouraging her to take it slow, to breath, to be calm.
Jesus, she had been covered in puke and sweat but still, he helped her and held unflinchingly.
She knew that he wasn't perfect, but there was good in him. She understood that he had a dark side but all things aside, he was a good person.
God, even if he wasn't...she thought she'd still love and want him.
As she met his eyes, she smiled softly, "...my point is, I love you. Everything about you...even the dark stuff. I want to know you-" she softly tugged one of her hands from his and placed it on his chest, over his heart. There was nothing, no movement or gentle thudding where his heartbeat should have been, "I want your everything because I've already give you mine...nothing you tell me, nothing about...nothing about how you feed...about how you live your life will change how I feel about you..."
Her fingers danced over his heart, "...please trust me, Dwayne"
The silence seemed to stretch on forever and, now that she had stopped speaking, she realized just how much she had spoken. She felt a little embarrassed by her outpouring of emotions and she gave him a small, tentative smile.
"Elizabeth" he whispered, curling his free hand over hers.
She could tell that she had stunned him a little because he sounded somewhat shocked as he murmured, "what did you and Marko talk about?"
Elizabeth knew that he was feeling overwhelmed by her seriousness, her insight and honesty. She wondered how often he had been caught off guard in the past and, feeling sympathetic she expelled a little laugh.
Shaking her head she slunk forward, letting her body slide off the bed. As she sat on the floor before him, he too moved from his crouch, sitting in front of her, their hands still entwined over his still heart.
"A lot" she told him, her smile small, "but the crux of it was that you're afraid I'm too nice, that I won't accept your...your not so niceness"
She moved her eyes, staring at their hands resting on his chest.
There was no heartbeat, no steady and healthy thud beneath their fingers but it didn't feel strange or unusual.
It felt...it felt strangely normal.
"That's the problem with having such a close pack" he told her, "there are no secrets..."
"Good. Secrets are bad"
"...hey?" his hand left hers and she blinked as he gently touched her chin, raising it. As he met her eyes with an unwavering intensity, he said, "I have no secrets from you, Elizabeth-"
She smiled and raised her eyebrow, "-no?"
"...I have..." he released her chin, his hand falling to her knee, "...fears"
She nodded, noticing how his jaw tensed.
"You're afraid that I'm going to leave you?"
He nodded again, the movement barely noticeable.
"...you were uncomfortable when Marko was telling me about the water" she murmured, "...and you weren't entirely comfortable with David and Paul doing their magic-"
"-it's not magic" he interrupted her quietly but firmly.
"...their mind games, then" she shrugged.
She knew it was time to drop the fairy tale imagery.
He looked pained again for a moment and Elizabeth shook her head, "I'm not...I swear, I'm not trying to be dismissive. I'm not. It's...I've seen a hint of that...their darkness and I know it's just a hint, just the smallest of snippets but...Dwayne, I'm not afraid of it...I'm not repulsed or...or disgusted or...or even disconcerted...not anymore"
Dwayne looked at her and, with her voice taking on a hint of desperation, she hoped he could understand what she was saying.
"...God, I was so frightened, I was...I puked and fainted and I couldn't sleep or eat or do anything but now? Already it's so natural for me to just accept...it's so easy...with each passing day it's like..." she touched her own heart, "...it's like I feel it. I'm meant to be with you, I'm meant to be...I'm meant to be a vampire because I'm meant to be with you..."
It was the first time she had said it out loud in front of him.
Vampire.
His eyes were dark, stormy and she shook her head, imploring him to understand, "...you can't scare me away, Dwayne. I'm yours...I don't know when or how but I know...it's going to happen and it worries me that it's so easy...so we both need to address it and be open because-"
His kiss came fast, interrupting her.
He poured everything into the kiss and she met it without hesitation.
When they pulled apart, Elizabeth took a shuddering breath. Meeting his eyes, lips a little swollen, she shook her head, whispering, "I didn't mean to get angry…I just, I love you so much and-"
"-you were right" he said, shaking his head, "I've been hesitant..."
"It's OK" she assured him.
"I've never had anything to lose" he said told her, "the only things I've ever allowed myself to care about is the pack...the pack and now you"
"Would you tell me?" she asked him, settling into his arms a little, desperately asking him, "please? Please tell me your story..."
He paused for a moment before nodding.
"Come here" he murmured, nudging his head up towards her bed.
She slowly disentangled herself from him, using his strong shoulders as support as she lifted her body. She knew he was going to open himself up to her and as she crawled onto her bed, a nervous sense of excitement washed over her.
He followed her immediately and sat down, pushing her covers away as he did. While she had no intention to sleep, tired and still feeling the effects of the weed though she was, she scooted her body a little lower down before moving to rest her head on his lap. She was comfortable but she knew that she would not succumb to the tiredness she felt. It was so early, the night had been so long but he had her attention one hundred percent.
"What did Marko tell you?" he asked her quietly.
"About you?" she queried and, when he nodded, she continued, "nothing...well, just that you and David gave him space and support when he...turned...and that you...you brought your kind of...not stoicism, you're not stoic, as such. Sometimes maybe you're a little..." she smiled up at him and took a breath, "sorry...you're closed off to people not in the pack and that's something you brought with you from when you were alive. I think that was the long and short of it…"
"Marko had a hard time…" he told her.
"...but he said he came out of it all OK" she murmured with a pointed little look up at him.
He smiled and nodded, "I suppose he did"
"Did you have a hard time?" she asked him tentatively, hoping he wasn't trying to distract her.
"No" he said with a firm shake of his head, "I grew up fighting. Death, pain, rejection. None if it was a stranger to me, Elizabeth. Marko was right, though. That's where my stoic nature comes in"
His hands found her hair and she smiled softly at his words, looking up at him still. He'd referenced her own confused words to show that there were no hard feelings and she loved his subtlety.
"You have to understand that history can be romanticized" he began to gently stroke her tousled hair, "movies, books...history seems more like fantasy sometimes. Honestly, time passes and it feels like people forget the reality of the situation. The truth is, life was hard. It wasn't pretty. It was bloody and it was difficult and death was just part of it. If you didn't fight, if you didn't win...you died. That's all there was to it...if you didn't toil, if you didn't sweat and bleed into the land, you didn't have food. If you couldn't hunt, you didn't have meat. If you couldn't defend yourself..." his words trailed off.
She swallowed, nodding.
"...I don't remember my family and I don't remember my tribe. All I can tell you for sure is that there was a battle, though I guess you'd call it a massacre, now. They were on the losing side"
"Dwayne..."
"I don't remember it, the details. All I remember is screaming. Screaming and crying. I was just a child" he told her, the back of his fingers grazing her temples, "but you don't have to grieve for me, Elizabeth. OK? Don't give my story your tears..."
She nodded softly.
Watching her, he continued, "I was spared and given to a white family-"
"-what?" she murmured in disbelief.
"Sounds crazy?"
She was speechless and he smiled down at her, though it was a tight gesture, "a soldier found me amidst the destruction and instructed a white family to take me in, to teach me and save me-"
"-to save you...? How can they save you from what they did?"
"To save me, save me, Liz. To save my soul. To make me a good, white, Christian man" he smirked a little before shrugging, "it wasn't unusual. It was a point of pride, to turn people like me into civilized members of society"
"Did they treat you badly?"
"Yes"
She blinked. She hadn't been expecting him to say yes. Dwayne was so strong, so indomitable but to hear him admit that he had been treated badly? It felt like an impossibility.
"It was nothing to me" he told her, his jaw raising slightly. She felt a flicker of admiration stir within her and she couldn't help the soft, confused smile that crept onto her face. He looked proud, almost haughty and she could imagine people trying to bring him down, trying to hurt him only to be met with his steadfast refusal to be cowed.
"They taught me their idea of manners, they taught me how to be a gentleman like them and I listened. I learned. Unfortunately for them, I listened when they taught me my place, too" his hand continued its path down the length of her hair, "every day I was reminded, I was told what I really was-"
She flinched in anticipation.
"-dirt. A dirty, filthy savage. I knew that I could never be more in their eyes. No matter how well I spoke, no matter how well I carried myself, no matter what. Even if I did exactly what they told me to...I knew I would always be beneath them. They would never let me forget" his words were hard and, as he carried on, his voice became colder, "they tried to change me and they tried to break me"
"...but why?"
"The only thing worse than an Indian is a proud Indian" he told her.
She swallowed a little and his hand found hers.
"I always kept myself as detached as possible. I can't be hurt if I don't care. I did well, for the most part. I kept to myself but there was a girl" he glanced down at Elizabeth for a moment before continuing, "she was the daughter of the family that took me in. We were young. She was young. She hadn't been corrupted at the time and she and I...we had a friendship. She saw me as a human, a boy. An equal and later, she saw me as a man..."
Elizabeth nodded, feeling not even a shred of jealousy. She hoped, she prayed that Dwayne found happiness with the girl but from the set of his jaw, she was afraid that it wasn't to be.
"It could have been more than just a friendship. I knew she had feelings for me and I allowed myself to reciprocate them. I never did before, I knew my place and I was determined not to stray from it but...over time I allowed myself to hope, to hope that I could find a place…that I could find something with her…I didn't want to but I found that I couldn't control it. I guess nobody inherently wants to be alone.."
"Did you? Find something with her, I mean"
He nodded, "she said that she loved me. We were together but always in secret and I thought if I worked hard, if I could prove that I could always support her...I thought she would choose me. She said she would...in the end, she said she would chose me"
Elizabeth knew that his story wasn't going to have a happy ending and she asked quietly, "what happened?"
"As I grew, so did she"
It hurt her to hear him speaking with such a cold, detached voice.
"She...she changed, didn't she?"
"Yes"
"She didn't see..." Elizabeth gently reached up and touched his chest, fingers grazing his still heart and he nodded once.
The girl didn't see how amazing Dwayne was, how she was lucky to be chosen by him.
"In the end, she saw what they told her to. She saw what everyone saw"
Elizabeth didn't know what to say.
"She went away for a short time, she went to see family and when she came back, she was engaged and I was nothing to her"
Biting her lip, Elizabeth frowned at his heartbreaking words.
He had allowed himself to hope, to dream despite his suffering and for what?
Rejection? More suffering?
"She hated her fiance but he was better than me. I was beneath her, beneath him...but still, she said she loved me. She came to me, we passed our nights together but it was always in secret. I was her secret, Elizabeth. Her dirty, filthy secret. She hated her fiance, hated everything about him but still...in her eyes, I was beneath him..."
His jaw was hard once more and his eyes, those deep, soulful eyes were staring out into her room.
"I suppose in the end guilt won out...she told him about me-"
As Elizabeth frowned, a fearful grimace, he nodded, "he whipped me. Tied me down and whipped me like I was an animal. He would have killed me, if he could have done it without drawing attention to what his fiance had done...who she had sullied herself with..."
It was hard for her not to cry at his words and she Elizabeth found herself clenching her jaw.
"I defended myself. I was strong, he was weak. Thankfully, that's what it came down to...I moved to shoot him and she was there, crying, screaming, begging me not to..." he tensed, "and I knew then that there was no place for me. I couldn't stay. I had no choice...so I left. I had allowed myself to hope, to dream and in return, I was hurt...crushed, destroyed. I promised myself that I wouldn't make that mistake again. I knew that I could trust nobody. So I left with nothing and I was glad for it. No attachments"
"Dwayne..."
"It was for the best, Liz. I was alone but everything was easier. I traveled far away from my past. I linked up with some tribes, here and there. For a while at least. It was difficult to live a completely isolated life, with all the migration-"
As her shoulders slumped a little in relief, Dwayne shook his head, "-but I wasn't accepted by them, either. Outwardly, everyone knew what I was...but the tribes saw me as a white man and the white men would only ever see me as an Indian. There really was no place for me. I was torn between two worlds, two communities who claimed me without ever accepting me" his thumb softly grazed the back of her hand, his gesture so soft and tender it was almost unsettling against his dark words, "I was always alone and in the end, I knew that it was best. I was thankful for it"
Always alone?
"You never...you didn't..."
He smiled at her and raised his eyebrow, "try to make friends? Establish relationships? Connections?"
She nodded feebly.
"No" he shook his head, "not after her...one rejection was enough. I wasn't going to allow myself to be hurt like that, not again..."
"Oh"
"I was proud, Elizabeth" he told her, "my decision was a good one because it meant that I took the power back. I was in control. For once, I was in control. I rejected everyone and was steadfast in my decision to do so. Nobody could hurt me, nobody did hurt me, not from then on out. I made contact with people when I wanted or needed something and I was fine..."
"...until?"
"David"
She shifted a little.
"We were drawn to each other in a way I can't explain. I felt...compelled to..." he shook his head a little, "it's difficult to explain but I was drawn to him. I had chosen to live alone, I made sure nothing would change my decision but he came into my life and I found that once again, I had no control...but this time, it didn't feel...it didn't feel dangerous. I felt like he was the answer to a question I hadn't even asked...you know?"
She nodded softly.
"...how did you meet? Did he search you out or did he find you where you lived or...?"
She could imagine him alone, living on a great and vast plain of emptiness, of desolation and dust and it hurt her to think about. Nobody should have to live in loneliness and isolation. He had said that nobody wanted to be alone, not inherently and she knew that he had been pushed into it.
She knew that he was strong but it wasn't fair that he had had to be strong.
It was horrible. He was everything but had been treated like he was nothing.
"...how did he know where to find you?"
The image of vast, emptiness was vivid but still, she couldn't picture him. She couldn't imagine him wearing anything other than his earrings and his thick leather jacket, his ripped jeans, his small but wonderfully inviting smile. Those eyes, so deep and secretive. His power, his energy, his…she just couldn't picture him as being anything other than what she knew him as. She couldn't imagine David wearing anything other than his cold smirk and his trench coat, either.
How had they met? How had he lived his life? How-
"-I rejected everyone but I wasn't entirely isolated, I didn't mean to give you that impression. I lived and hunted, I survived alone but I moved between the tribes and the settlements. Even then it was difficult to live without embracing trade of some sort. That's where I met David, coming back from a trip to town-" he glanced down at her, smirking a little, "-are you disappointed?"
"No"
"Sounds mundane though, doesn't it? After everything...heartbreak, pain, suffering…here I am, talking about a trip into a town"
"A little pedestrian" she agreed quietly.
He smiled and continued, "I didn't know it at the time but he had been drawn to the settlement I frequented. He felt drawn to it and when we met, he realized it was me he had been drawn to. He watched me, he stalked me for a while. I could feel it. I let him...with most dangerous animals, you wait for them to make the first move...and when we did meet, face to face...it was an almost…it was instantaneous. I knew the man before me was a friend, a brother. I knew it in my heart, in my soul…"
"Really?"
"Yes...but I fought hard against it" Dwayne told her, smiling a little, "and so did he. Neither of us wanted companions. For our own reasons we had decided our paths, decided on our self-imposed isolation but still...we kept meeting. Unintentionally, at first but soon we were actively searching each other out. We would spend whole nights together, sometimes talking, sometimes just sitting in silence..."
He released her hand and moved to stroke her hair once more. As she tucked her hands under her chin, he carried on, "there was nothing romantic about it but it was powerful"
"Did you know he was a vampire?"
"I knew there was something strange about him but I had never inherited my people's superstitions and I loathed the idea of a God so it was...intriguing" he nodded, "I was intrigued by him. Drawn to him, curious about him and how..."
He trailed off.
"...it felt almost as if I had been waiting for him, that the events of my life had been carefully structured and crafted to lead up to our meeting"
"Really?"
He nodded again, "I don't think that's the case, if I'm being honest but that is what it felt like. In the end, I knew that I had found family and when David showed me what he was, I saw no reason to delay what I knew I was meant to do, what I was meant to be-"
"-you became a vampire?"
"Yes"
"Did it hurt?"
"No"
"Were you happy?"
"I can honestly say that I was. For the first time in my life I had found happiness and contentment"
"With David?"
He nodded, "he was the first, the only person I had ever considered to be family...and it only happened twice after him"
"Did he feel the same about you?"
"Yes"
She knew it wouldn't be appropriate to ask him about David's history and she didn't want to put him in the position of having to say no to her.
"...you two have a very deep connection" she observed instead.
He made an agreeable murmur and Elizabeth nodded. She promised herself that she would make more of an effort to understand David and while she thought that there was more to their story, more pain and suffering, more sadness, she decided in that moment that she didn't want to know.
It wasn't fair that he had suffered so much when he was alive. She wanted his happiness and she hated that people had hurt him so much.
He had told her about his past and she felt like she could understand it now. She could understand his fear, his hesitance. He had opened himself up in the past and was destroyed for it.
She promised herself that she would never hurt him. She would never be the one to cause him pain and suffering. She opened her mouth before pausing.
Words were cheap.
She would show him.
Instead, she murmured, "...you felt it twice...so from there you met Marko?"
He nodded and she sat up, his hand falling from her head down to her waist.
Sitting tall beside him, she asked, "was it the same?"
"The feeling of knowing he was meant to be in our pack?"
"Yes..."
He nodded again.
"And then Paul?"
"And then Paul..." his lips quirked a little and some humor found its way into his voice, "he was hard work"
"I thought everything came easily to him?"
"It did - that's why it was hard work" Elizabeth laughed a little and he kissed her temple. As she met his eyes, he watched her before quietly adding, "...and then there's you. My mate..."
"Your mate" she agreed quietly.
He held her hands in his, "I bet you've never had a bedtime story like this before?"
"No. Never..." she replied, smiling gently, "...I'm sorry, Dwayne"
"Why?"
"...that was...your human life it was-"
"-not unusual for the time" he replied, his voice firm. He gave her another small kiss, "it's not something you should lose sleep over, Elizabeth"
"But it's not fair" she told him, "...you didn't ask for it…you didn't ask to be taken in, to be saved and you-"
"-life isn't fair"
She sighed and nodded. His words were simple and true and there was nothing she could say.
"...it's not fair and it definitely wasn't fair then" he continued, "but we make the rules now"
This time, there was no hesitance in his voice, no hint of fear and it lifted her spirits to hear him be so open with her.
She looked up at him, reminded of her conversation earlier in the night, "Marko said...he said that he could take revenge forever on the kind of people that hurt him"
Dwayne said nothing and she added quietly, "...he sounded so...it sounded terrible, what he had been through even though he didn't tell me directly...and when he said that, I...I thought, 'good'...he told me he's brutal and..." she looked down at Dwayne's chest, "I thought it was justified…just for a second but" she trailed off, "…he said that in the future, I would be like you guys but in my own way-"
"-yes. We all have our own styles…" he held her chin gently, "you would feed however you wanted to"
She nodded and met his eyes.
It scared her how easy everything was becoming, how easy it was for her to accept. Pain and suffering and darkness and talks of brutality and death…it was easy for her to listen to, to hear. It was starting to feel normal but more than that…it felt like an inevitability.
She was meant for the darkness, too.
She was meant to be with Dwayne.
Gently moving to kiss him, she wrapped her fingers around the back of his neck, taking control and pulling him close, "thank you for sharing your history with me…" she murmured against his lips, "I'll always choose you, Dwayne…over everything…I'm yours..."
A/N: I based some of Dwayne's backstory on the movie Children of the Dust - sometimes known as A Good Day To Die. It's an enjoyable watch if you ever get the chance, good background viewing! I appreciate the reviews so much, thank you all. They mean a lot!
MissJNori: yeah, Paul's definitely up to no good hahaha. But it's Paul, so his 'no good' is definitely going to be good and fun. He's such a great character to write! There's so much more to come for everyone, lots to happen. It's been non-stop typing this end! RosesRred45, thank you so much. I enjoy writing Marko, I see him as being very deep! princessnerra: I think Liz is going to take a bit more control from here on out. Thank you for the review! KLwriter79: that's a huge compliment, thank you so, so much!