Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stomach Ache

Chapter 8

What if Harry's ability to fly as a bit more exaggerated?

By

Jason Richard

Despite the fascinating spells he was learning, Harry found that he wasn't particularly good at any of them. He was above average perhaps, but unlike Hermione and her mad studying skills (Ron would say mental), he wasn't exceptional.

There was one thing that Harry ending up being amazing at though. Broomstick flying.

They got onto the practice grounds as Madam Hooch instructed them on how to summon their brooms. Before actual flying practice could begin Madam Hooch had to go check on something. She instructed them not to, under any circumstances, get on their brooms until she got back.

So, of course, Draco Malfoy got on his broom as soon as she left. He started doing some pretty amazing acrobatics.

Until Harry decided that no one out flew the the boy who Lived!

"Look at me!" said Malfoy, doing an aerial loop de loop.

"No look at me!" cried Harry, flying his broom with his hands in the air, weaving through the air like it was nothing.

Malfoy, "That's nothing I…"

Harry, "Now this!" and he did a handstand on his broom while going Mach 1.

Malfoy, "Wait how…"

Harry, "And!" He did a handstand with one hand while going Mach 2.

Malfoy, "Now just a minute…"

And then Harry gripped the broom, flew around in circles so fast he was set on fire, wrote, "Harry Potter: The Boy Who Lived." in the sky with the smoke, and quickly dived the great lake to douse the fire.

The other kids applauded, and Malfoy was left dumbstruck.

"But…" the rich blonde stuttered. "But I've been riding a broom my entire life! How is he so good on his first lesson!?"

Harry landed, skidding the ground as he did and said, "Because I'm The Boy Who Lived, and I'm awesome! Copyright Harry Potter."

"Actually," said Hermione. "There have been several recorded cases where people took to a magical skill instantly, dating back as far as the 1800's. For instance…"

"There you go again," said Ron, rolling his eyes. "Do you ever stop talking about schoolwork?"

"You should know this too," said Hermione indignantly. "You're a wizard! Some of the stuff I talk about is pretty common knowledge from what I've heard. You should have known it before I did."

They sneered at each other.

Ron, "know-it-all nerd."

Hermione, "Lazy Dufus."

…

Years Later, Ron and Hermione's wedding day.

Ron, "My beautiful nerd!"

Hermione, "My lovable dufus!"

And they smooched.

…

Present day.

The next moment professor McGonagall appeared on the field. For a moment, Harry was frightened. Had he gotten in trouble for flying when he was told not to?

"Harry," said McGonagall excitedly. "I just saw you out there and I must say you were amazing. Follow me and…"

"Amazing was he?" interrupted Madam Hooch, who walked up right at that moment.

Harry winced. He was definitely in trouble.

"I specifically instructed you not to fly while I was gone and you did. I'm afraid that's detention, Mr. Potter."

McGonagall, "Now I know this is irregular but…"

Hooch, "Irregular? Are you, Professor McGonagall of all people, suggesting we let him off? What could possibly be so important as to sacrifice the standards and rules this great school of ours stands for?"

McGonagall, "I want Gryffindor to win Quidditch."

Hooch, "Oh well that's alright then. Have fun, Harry."

And Harry was led away, not certain how he had gotten out of that one. Then the Gryffindor Quidditch captain taught him how to play the magical sport and Harry forgot all about his confusion.

…

Later, Malfoy came up to Harry and Ron and said, "I challenge you to a magic duel at midnight in the trophy room."

Harry, "I accept."

Ron, "I'm his second."

They nodded and kept walking. Hermione, however, had heard the conversation and did not approve.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "Dueling is forbidden, and need I remind you we have a curfew?"

"What?" said Harry smugly. "The Boy Who Lived can't back down from a challenge."

"Oh?" said Hermione. "And does the boy who lived want to get expelled?"

"No one will notice," said Ron. "Dueling Malfoy will be a piece of cake."

"That's not the point!" Hermione fumed. "You could get expelled! What could be worse?"

Ron, "Torture, murder, disemboweling….

Harry, "Dead parents, a teacher who's out to get you, a homicidal maniac with magic powers who tried to kill you and might still be out there…"

Harry and Ron kept piling on the long list of things that would be worse than getting expelled and Hermione grimaced. She figured she shouldn't. She really shouldn't. But then her anger got the better of her and she pulled out her wand.

"STUPEFY!" she screamed.

As a blast of red light sent Harry and Ron flying, they shouted, "WE DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT SPELL IN THIS BOOOOOOOK!"

And they crash landed.