Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stomach Ache
Chapter 10
So what happened with Quirrell and Voldemort when the Troll attacked?
By
Jason Richard
Quirrell and his dark master attached to the back of his head hatched a devious plan to obtain the Philosopher's stone. They would unleash a mountain troll in the school and while the teachers were busy dealing with that they would attempt to steal the Philosopher's Stone.
As Quirrell was walking through the corridors to where he would let the troll in Hermione ran past them, sobbing after Ron had said snidely that she had no friends.
"What's the matter with you?" asked Quirrell.
Hermione, "A boy I have no respect for and that I constantly criticize said something mean about me!"
And she turned a corner, still sobbing all the way.
Voldemort, under Quirrell's Turban, said, "Forget about the girl and continue on. Now is the perfect time to unleash the troll."
"But master," said Quirrell. "What if it posts mean things about me in the comment section?"
"Wrong kind of troll Quirrell," said Voldemort irritably. "This is a mountain troll."
"Oh," said Quirrell, thinking it over before saying. "But master, what if it posts means things about me on the mountain?"
Voldemort, "Would you get moving already?!"
And Quirrell got moving.
Soon they had released the troll in the school and alerted the teachers. Little did they notice, however, that someone had followed them. Upon hearing that a troll had entered the school Severus Snape immediately sprung into action. Lily's precious Harry would not be killed by a mountain troll this night! But then he noticed Quirrell running off suspiciously, and realized that the rest of the teachers could handle this.
Clearly, some other mischief was afoot, and that would be a threat to Harry. Snape snuck forward, following Quirrell from the shadows, and right into the third-floor corridor.
As Quirrell approached the three headed dog guarding the trap-door, Snape came up behind him.
"Well well well," said Snape. "What have we here?"
Quirrell froze, absolutely terrified, but Voldemort was pleased. Finally he was alone with one of his most faithful servants, still manning his post as a double agent at Hogwarts. Now that's dedication.
"Why hello Severus," said Voldemort under the turban.
"Huh," said Snape, confused. "That sounded like the dark lord, but that cannot be right. I must have just imagined that I heard my master's voice from under Quirrell's turban. The great dark lord wouldn't be caught dead attached to a man as pathetic as Quirrell. He'd be a huge, pathetic, and absolutely dismal failure."
Voldemort, "Must...not...smite...loyal...servant…"
Quirrell with a sad face, said, "Master, I'm sorry I make you a failure…"
Voldemort, "I AM NOT A FAILURE! Just because I'm a bodiless spirit attached to a worm of a man because I could not win a magic duel with an infant…
"Oh, great Merlin's beard I really am a failure!"
"Now I know it's not him," said Snape, chuckling. "The dark lord would never admit that."
Voldemort, "OH SHUT UP!"
"Master," said Quirrell. "Should I go for the stone?"
Voldemort, "Yes Quirrell, you should. That's the smartest thing you've said all day."
Quirrell, "Hooray! I got brains!"
And he ran for the trap-door, Snape at his heels.
And a few minutes later they both limped out, cradling their bleeding legs.
Quirrell, "So a three headed dog is pretty impressive security."
Snape, "Indeed. Three sets of teeth to watch out for."
As they walked through the hallways, they came upon the group that had gone after the troll and were surprised to see Harry, Hermione, and Ron there.
"Amazing," said Professor McGonagall proudly. "To think that the tree of you defeated a mountain troll by yourselves, and so young too!"
"All in a day's work for the boy who lived," said Harry smugly.
Hermione, "You know, I'm so glad we got through this I'm not even going to be annoyed by that."
Ron, "Still, I'm kind of amazed we got through it at all. I mean who would have thought that throwing rocks at the window, transfiguring a doorknob into a chicken, and casting a regurgitation charm on a toilet could defeat a mountain troll?"
Snape, Quirrell, and Voldemort said, with flabbergasted looks on their faces, said, "What?!"