Elizabeth wiped at her eyes, feeling exhausted, tired to her bones. When she left the bathroom, having had yet another shower, she had heard her mother pattering away in her bedroom and knew that Emerson matriarch would be heading downstairs, probably to start breakfast. Maybe something humble, like coffee and toast. Maybe she'd cook something fancier, knowing that her daughter was up and awake. Either way, Elizabeth knew that she should head downstairs too but she was so sad, so drained that she didn't know if she could even muster the energy to get up from the floor of her closet. She'd only sat down to slip on her socks but the second she had done so, all she could do was slump forwards, putting her head in her hands.
She didn't even have the energy to cry, not anymore.
She had woken up covered in sweat and panting, her eyes had been damp and wet and when she checked herself in the mirror, she saw that they were rimmed with red and a little bloodshot. She knew that Dwayne would have warned her profusely if the memories, the experiences he was going to show her would cause her to wake up in an almost nightmarish, feverish state. She knew that he would have told her, prepared her but he had led her to bed, lying with her and holding her closely in his arms, assuring her it was simple, easy.
She would dream. It would be nothing.
She went to bed comfortably, surrounded by his scent, protected by his arms. She had fallen into a deep sleep easily, knowing that all she would do is dream...but it hadn't ended like she had imagined it would. She thought she would see what Dwayne and the pack had done to Michael, she had thought she would get an insight into his life but she had seen so much more.
She had learned more than she could have ever imagined learning and she knew that her feelings of upset were because of it..but the thing was, it wasn't about the pack.
It wasn't about Michael.
She was shocked and upset at what she had learned about herself.
She knew that Dwayne hadn't predicted her reaction would be such a negative one and that made her feel all the worse.
She had seen Dwayne's suffering, she had felt his pain, she had experienced how difficult, how terrible it had been for him, having a mate...and yet he didn't think it would upset her. Was he so selfless that he didn't acknowledge his pain as pain? Was he so in love with her that he would gladly suffer through it? Was pain just an unwelcome part of his life, something that he had adapted to? Or was she just so selfish, so absorbed in her own perfect world that he didn't think she would understand?
Whatever the answer, it was horrible.
She felt wretched, foul, guilty.
Her time with Dwayne had been filled with pure love, lust and happiness.
When there was darkness, hadn't he supported her? When there was fear, hadn't he comforted her? When there was confusion, hadn't he taught her?
He had literally done everything for her.
Her time with him, her time with the pack? It was wonderful, it was everything.
She had a mate, a man she loved and a man who loved her in turn and she had been loved by him, there was no other way to describe it.
He had cared for her, thrilled her, filled her with joy and happiness...and all the while, he suffered.
She hadn't known, she hadn't even guessed.
Silently, quietly he ensured that she was always protected, always safe, always happy while suffering his own demons, his own pain.
Seeing it had been too much for her.
She didn't remember when, exactly, she had managed to jerk herself awake, it had felt like she was skipping scenes, fast forwarding parts of a movie but God, she had seen more. She hadn't wanted to, she hadn't wanted to see more...but she had.
In her dreams, she had seen him fight with the pack, she had seen him try to launch himself at David. She had felt his pain, felt him break as the betrayal he felt at the hands of the pack he loved consumed him...and in that moment, he had been consumed. She could feel it, she still could. There was his pack, his everything, his world. His friendship with David that transcended even that and then there was his mate. The woman that was also consuming him, the woman he needed and craved and loved.
Held back by Marko and Paul, fighting them with genuine vigor, then pause, then a renewed rage.
He had hated everyone. He had hated her, his pack and then himself.
Impotent, weak, isolated.
He felt it all.
And she did, too.
She had cried out once more, not wanting to see it and blissfully, thankfully she did skip the scene but she went backwards.
Somehow, she went backwards. She recognized the scene.
It was her.
She was looking at herself. Flushed, naked...she had been transported to their time in the room, the sweet, old and tired room that had once been part of the hotel. She could see her own lust, the red of her cheeks, the gleam in her eyes. She was seeing it all from Dwayne's perspective and she could feel his desire, too. She could see it in herself and feel it pouring from him, she could feel his joy.
Finally, she had seen him happy...and then it changed. She had wanted to watch it forever, to bask in the happiness he felt but no.
Suddenly she was crying, fleeing.
She recognized that scene, too.
She had been terrified, petrified, she had felt shocked, betrayed, threatened, panicked...and Dwayne? He had rushed to her, tried to protect and comfort her. She was fleeing from him, from what he was and yet he had gone after her.
She could never have imagined how painful it was for him. In that moment, she had rejected him and he had been crushed.
Naked. Exposed. Vulnerable. Destroyed.
She couldn't take it, she couldn't watch it and she couldn't feel it. She needed it to stop, it was too much. She couldn't do it, she hated to know that she was the cause of his suffering.
She hated to know that she hadn't considered his suffering.
She had cried out then, too, closing her eyes and cowering into herself.
Everything had changed.
She could hear Paul and Dwayne laughing.
A whoosh.
A man crying out, "brunette barbie bitch!"
Blurring of images, rushing air.
She could smell cigarettes, she could see David staring out over the attractions. He was mulling over something, Dwayne, too.
Then it was gone.
A woman screaming, crying.
The smell of urine and blood.
Star's baleful eyes.
The boardwalk, quiet and empty. The fun house, her laughter mingled with Paul's echoing through the dark ride.
Annoyance.
Love.
Loathing.
Fear.
Need.
Everything had felt like it was spinning, turning, moving and merging into one. She was losing control of herself, losing control of the scenes...and then, wakefulness.
She didn't know how, she didn't know when. All she knew is that she had jerked herself awake with a cry, her legs all twisted in her blanket, pillows pushed to the floor. She had been breathing heavily, panting desperately and then, when clarity returned to her and she saw her empty, chilly room in the dark morning sun, she had burst into tears.
How long she had curled up in her bed and sobbed into her pillow, she didn't know. Her clock was still frozen and it was an overcast morning. There was no bright, rising sun to indicate time. It had been just her, alone in bed, letting her heart break for the man she loved.
Letting her heart break in disappointment at her ignorance.
She had only managed to rouse herself, to pull herself from her gloomy haze by an almost wild, sudden reminder that she had to pee.
From there it had been almost automatic, as if she was on autopilot.
Pee.
Brush her teeth.
Look at the sweat lining her hair and take yet another shower.
Dry off.
Trudge up to her room to change, shivering as the chill bit her exposed skin.
She had put on a pair of jeans and a hoody, grabbing them almost blindly and then, she had sat down to put on her socks.
She didn't know how long she'd been on the floor.
She closed her eyes again, squeezing them tightly.
She wished she could see Dwayne.
There was so, so much she needed to say to him. So many wrongs to put to right, so many amends to make and apologies to be shared.
"Elizabeth?"
She looked over at her door as a light, gentle little tap rang out from the bottom one.
"Yeah?" she said, her voice tired.
"I made breakfast if you want some..."
"I'm coming" she tried to smile, knowing that she would have to put on her best face when she sat down with her mother.
She couldn't let Lucy know she was upset.
...truthfully, she didn't even know if she had the right to be upset.
She was sad but she felt self indulgent, too, knowing that despite everything he had been through, Dwayne had never slumped to the floor.
It was a strange feeling.
She felt like she owed it to him to be strong...after everything, she owed him at least that. Part of her wanted to curl up and give up but there was a spark somewhere deep...a spark that was reminding her that she had almost failed Dwayne, in a way. She hadn't known, it wasn't her fault bu now she did know. Now she was aware, now they were equals...and if he continued to suffer, if he continued to hurt, then she certainly would be failing him.
It was that thought alone that gave her the motivation to slink to her feet. She stood, not exactly tall but thankfully without slumped shoulders, wiggling her toes for a moment and stretching the too tight socks.
She took a breath, steeling herself as she scooped up the damp towel that she had carelessly shed.
She knew she had to put on a brave face as she slowly headed down to the kitchen.
For her sake, for her mother's...and for Dwayne.
She had to be a better person.
"Good morning, sweetheart. You're looking good. All OK?"
Lucy seemed bright but there was a hollow aspect to it, as if it was an act. There, spread out on the table before her was a coffee pot, two steaming mugs and a plate full of warm, plain toast. Plates, two knives along with a mass of different jams and a tub of butter finished off the spread.
"I look good?" Elizabeth asked in genuine, if not tired surprise.
She shook her head.
She didn't feel good and she assumed she didn't look it. Honestly, she had been expecting a myriad of questions and had been wondering if she could pull the menstrual card once again but she was clearly doing something right.
Perhaps it was the shower?
"What?" a look of concern, "you don't feel good?"
"No, no I'm fine just..." what could she say? She supposed she should lead with the truth as best she could, since she had kind of put her foot in it anyway, "...I just had a really rotten sleep"
She picked up a slice of toast, weakly slathering on some butter and blueberry jam.
"Why? What's wrong, are you-"
"-I'm fine." she smiled at her mother, surprising herself by the fact that it was genuine "don't worry about me. I was just cold and, uh..I guess I was stupid. I got up and had a hot bath, thought it would help? Seems like it kind of just messed me up"
"It gets chilly up there, huh? Do you want me to get you a heater or something? You know where all the extra blankets are, right? I hate to think of you freezing in an attic, I feel like a terrible Mom! This is all very Cinderella"
Elizabeth smiled again, taking a bite of her toast.
It was easy to be around Lucy.
"Thank you but it's not quite that bad. I love my room, I'm hardly suffering up there. Anyway, Grandpa already beat you to it. I'll take you both up on the extra blanket but he said it'll warm up again soon" she shrugged, "I trust him"
Trust.
She looked down at her toast, observing the way the butter and blueberry had kind of merged, looking simultaneously smooth and clumpy.
She did trust Grandpa...and she found that when she said she trusted Dwayne, that was true.
Star's words, Star's stories had been edifying but, sat at the kitchen table, Elizabeth found that she was resolute in her feelings. She didn't care about what Star had told her.
She had made her choice.
"Yeah" Lucy gave her daughter a warm, caring little grin, "this storm has been a while coming, huh?"
"Sure feels like it"
"You sure you're OK?"
"I'm sure. Are you?"
"Oh, I'm fine. Fine and dandy..." Lucy exhaled, leaning in her chair, "I've been watching the sky since I woke up. Really ready for this rain.."
"Why?"
That was kind of strange thing to do. Elizabeth was waiting for the sun to come back but she wasn't watching the sky, she wasn't willing it to come that hard.
"Oh you know" Lucy shrugged, "rain helps, don't you think? You have a long, stagnant summer and then a storm comes. Breaks it all up. Rain is cleansing, sometimes...I always thought, anyway"
She smiled, somewhat self consciously before taking a sip of her coffee, "or I'm just a crazy old woman" she gave a little laugh, "I don't know anymore"
"You think summer's been stagnant so far?" Elizabeth asked quietly, something about her mother's words comforting her.
"No, no...not stagnant but..." Lucy took a breath, "...sometimes a storm is needed. The rain, it kind of washes everything away..the good stuff stays but the bad stuff doesn't and that's good, you know?"
Elizabeth nodded. There was a sort of poetic logic in her mother's words, "good or bad, it's always a fresh start after a storm"
"Exactly! You get it.." Lucy smiled softly, "...you know what I mean..God knows, I could do with one of those...a good old fresh start" she took a little breath, as if she hadn't wanted to say that aloud and smiled at her daughter, "it's nice coffee, huh?"
"Yeah, yeah it is, actually. Tastes like vanilla?"
She didn't want to change the subject.
It felt like her mother was on to something.
"Max bought it for me. I have an almond one, too" Lucy said with a small smile, "I noticed you're more amenable to coffee recently, sweetie?"
It kept her awake. She was more than just amenable to it, it was her new best friend.
"Yeah, I like the social element of it" she told her mother, giving her a pointed little smile, "it's nice to sit down and drink and chat.."
Lucy nodded and Elizabeth did too, the two women falling into a companionable if not thoughtful silence.
A storm was definitely brewing, it had been for days. Dark and chilly, the bright sunshine unusually shy. For those few days, the whole vibe of Santa Carla had changed...and suddenly, so had her life.
It had been upended, almost.
Despite the grim weather, she had still enjoyed her time with the boys and the pack, she had gorged herself with Paul, she had been happy.
It was Star.
Star's unwelcome visit had upended everything, caused more grief and strife than she would have ever thought possible but...the thing was, all wasn't lost.
She had woken up feeling crushed but there was something inherently comforting about her mother, something about what she said was resonating with her.
That talk of a storm.
Cleansing...freeing...
It wasn't the end of the world. Star's visit had been destructive but...but had it been necessary, almost?
Storms were destructive but like Lucy said, they were cleansing, too.
In their own way, they were cleansing.
Elizabeth shifted guiltily in her seat, thinking of everything she had learned because of Star.
Directly, indirectly.
She had learned a great deal. Not all of it good, a lot of it painful but wasn't it for the better?
Dwayne...it was his personality to be somewhat detached. That was him. He was a closed book. When she first met him, when she first saw him...she had to admit, there was a level of aloofness about him. Cool, untouchable. His mortal life had been a hard one and she couldn't forget the haughty, challenging way he raised his chin, talking about the suffering he had gone through but insisting that it was nothing to him.
He was strong.
Even if he felt the complete opposite, outwardly, he wouldn't show it.
He wouldn't admit it.
She knew that...and she knew that he had been her strength, too.
For too long he had been her strength. That's why the crippling guild had hurt her so much.
When she was frightened, he held her. When she was scared, he comforted her. When she cried, he dried her tears.
A lot of the time, it had been at his own expense.
She had been frightened of him, of seeing what he was...yet he had protected her, held her.
She had been scared of what Paul and David had shown her, the way they invaded her head...Dwayne had comforted her.
She had cried because of it all and he was there, holding her and cradling her and looking after her.
She was angry, he calmed her down.
She was demanding, needing answers and he gave them.
It wasn't unjustified, she knew that. She knew that her feelings were valid but he had feelings, too.
He did have feelings, no matter how hard he tried to keep them buried.
Who was looking out for him? Who was holding him, who was comforting him?
That's why she had felt guilty, that's why she had woken in tears.
She was his mate and it was her job to look out for him, to love and protect him in just the same way.
A storm was coming to Santa Carla but it was coming for her, too.
The rain would be cleansing, Lucy was right about that.
Today would be a fresh start. A new slate, a new beginning.
She was choosing Dwayne. She was choosing him and his life and from now on, that's all it would be. No tears, no fear. She was informed. She knew everything, for better or worse she had seen everything and she found that she didn't care...well. She did care, but only about him.
Nothing had changed about that.
It was her and Dwayne, her and the pack.
She knew and now, her knowledge would be her strength.
Star was the storm. Star was lightning and thunder and wind and Elizabeth had been renewed by her.
"You OK?"
"Huh?"
Elizabeth blinked over at her mother, almost jumping out of her thoughts.
"You kind of...well, I don't know?" Lucy smiled warmly, "you kind of jutted your chin out, sweetie. Very purposeful..."
"Oh..I did?"
"Uh-huh"
"Really?"
"Really" Lucy laughed, "what on earth were you thinking about?"
Elizabeth smiled, shaking her head, "oh you know...just thinking"
"Empowered thoughts?"
"Kind of, yeah..."
She watched her mother before biting her lip.
A new woman.
Her new chapter started today...the rain was coming and it was long overdue.
"I was just thinking about what you said about the rain..about it being cleansing?"
"I was pretty deep, huh?" Lucy seemed almost embarrassed.
"It was kind of apt, Mom...can I...do you mind if I talk to you?"
"Not at all?" Lucy sat forward, obviously hearing the serious tone in her daughter's voice.
"It's about Michael"
"I..." Lucy feel silent.
"The other day, you got angry with me and Sammy? It was because of him, wasn't it?"
Lucy just nodded, slowly and hesitantly but truthfully.
Elizabeth had never before considered her mother as being a victim of Star but she was. Yesterday she had been thinking only about herself but now, she could see. Lucy had been hurt, too and she wasn't under the effect of a shoddy lure, she wasn't under any influence. She had dealt with the full force of her son leaving, packing up randomly and changing and she was dealing with it alone.
It must have been painful for her.
"I know that you think that Sammy and I don't care or that we haven't noticed-"
And she would be right, it was true. Thanks to Star, they hadn't noticed. Now she knew, she could make informed decisions but it felt wrong to be having a fresh start while leaving her mother in the dust.
She was going to be better than that.
From now on, she was going to be strong for herself, for Dwayne and her family.
"-no, no God no! No, sweetheart I was just stressed. I don't want you dealing with it, it's not your place to worry or think about, you two are kids and, well, I want you to be happy and to be kids. I was snappy but it wasn't aimed at you guys, I'm so sorry-"
"-no apologies" she gave a tentative smile, "I get it, I do. I think that Sammy would still be a little sensitive to it, so we shouldn't talk about it with him but um...I just wanted to tell you that we didn't like it at first either.."
"You didn't?"
"No. You're not crazy, Mom. It's kind of intense, huh?"
Lucy sat back in her seat.
"I just...what you said about the rain kind of got me thinking and I wanted to tell you that um...it could be a good time to draw a line in the sand, you know? And I want you to be happy and so I figured I should tell you that...I met the girl"
"You did?"
Lucy sounded stunned.
"Yeah. Just once, just briefly...she seemed..." she took a breath, "she seemed nice. Really, she did. She's pretty and sweet. She obviously likes him a lot, there's..it's weird, don't get me wrong but there's nothing sinister about her" aside from being a half vampire, desperate for freedom, "...I think they're just two kids in love? I think that if you had the chance to meet her, if circumstances were different then you would be kind of...comforted, maybe?"
Lucy looked stunned, too.
"..not to be patronizing, I know I'm a kid myself but..." she shrugged, "the point is, I don't want you imagining the worst and I'm sorry I didn't speak up before. She's...she's kind of...she's sweet. Actually, she's the kind of girl you'd be happy to bring into your family"
It was difficult for her to think back, to dredge up pleasant memories of Star but she wasn't lying.
The girl was in a bind, whatever. What she had done was wrong, what she was doing was messed up but before? Elizabeth's first impressions weren't bad. Star was a pretty girl, with a nice smile and a kind attitude. She had been friendly. How much of it was genuine was still up for debate but there had been no immediate red flags.
She could remember that, she could acknowledge it and she thought it would comfort her mother to know.
"I think that Michael is going to be OK. I've had a long time to think about it and what you said about the storm? I think that...maybe this is a new start for him, too? He's been pretty perfect his whole life" Elizabeth smiled, "you have to admit that. Maybe this is him kind of...taking a break from stagnant? I can see him succeeding in whatever he does because he's a fighter but honestly...I think we should just give him space...give it a few months. I think...I think he's going to come around"
"You sound like your Grandfather"
"Is that a bad thing?"
Lucy sighed, pursing her lips a little, "he's my son. I'm not happy about this, sweetie...I..I'm glad to know she's nice but-"
"-but you love him and this isn't what you want for him?"
Lucy nodded.
"I do understand Mom. I swear, I do but maybe...maybe for now you should focus on yourself. Honestly, Michael's a good guy. He's the best, we all know it and we know that he's gonna be fine because he has a good head on his shoulders..."
Lucy laughed, "Gosh you sound older than your years right now"
"I love Michael and I love you" Elizabeth smiled, "and I'm sorry I kept quiet for so long. I wish I supported you"
"Oh, don't be silly. I'm the Mom, I support you! That's my job"
"It should be a two way street though...but I'm...look I'm saying...kind of, you know? Let the rain come and focus on your own happiness for a bit and trust that Mike's gonna be fine because I'm sure he will be"
"Do you really think he's going to be OK?" Lucy asked quietly, as if she didn't like that she was confiding in her daughter.
Elizabeth could imagine it, Lucy didn't want to be burdening her.
She thought of the pack.
They had promised that something was going to happen in a few months. Whatever was going to go down, the outcome was that Star would be mortal. If Michael was under a lure, then it would be broken. If he loved Star, it was all on him. His own choice and his own free will. If he wasn't, he could leave. No matter what happened, he would still be able to return to school. With or without her, he could still have a future.
She trusted the pack about that.
Fully, wholeheartedly.
She knew they would keep their word.
"I do. I really, really do"
"And in the meantime I'm just...supposed to forget my son has upended his whole life and gone AWOL?"
Elizabeth smiled, shaking her head, "no. Of course not but just...ease up on yourself? Be there for him when he comes back, support him in his mad bid for independence now-"
Lucy cracked a small smile.
"-and save the 'I told you so's for a couple of years"
"You're a good kid, you know that?"
"Sammy would disagree"
Lucy laughed, "probably. He's happy here, right?"
"Yeah, I don't think you need to worry about him. He's settled...got friends and everything"
Lucy sighed, nodding.
"I know it's easier said than done but I think you should try, Mom"
Lucy nodded again, "thank you. I don't know if I can but I'll try, OK? Thanks for..well, thank you for just being there. I will, OK? I'll be easier on myself"
"I'm sorry I wasn't there before"
She was sorry to Dwayne, too.
She hadn't exactly been there for him, either.
She knew that the situation was complicated, difficult but it didn't ease her feelings of guilt.
"Don't be silly"
A small but comfortable silence overcame them and Lucy seemed to be frowning gently.
She was obviously deep in thought.
"Are you OK?"
"Stunned that my daughter is so wise" she took a sip of her coffee, "...but...since we're uh..well, since we're opening up...do you think I could talk to you about something?"
"Me?"
What did Lucy have to say to her? What else was there to talk about?
"Mhmm"
"Yeah, of course. Anything, Mom..."
"Since we're talking about me looking after myself" Lucy looked suddenly coy, somewhat shy and it was a nice change. Her whole demeanor seemed to change and it was a marvelous sight.
Perhaps all Lucy needed was an ear? Someone to tell her she wasn't alone?
"How would you feel if I were to possibly invite Max to dinner?"
Elizabeth shrugged, happy that her mother was thinking about herself, "why wouldn't you invite him? I kind of assumed you two are always together anyway? Working, dating..."
Lucy blushed.
"We are but I meant in a more formal capacity..."
Elizabeth blinked before understanding what her mother was talking about, "ohhhh! You want to introduce him to the family?"
She nodded, holding her coffee cup while looking hopeful and Elizabeth was thrilled.
The conversation was moving away from Michael and there was a bit of brightness to be seen.
Already, there was a silver lining covering the dark clouds.
It was a good start and it filled her with hope.
"That would be great. Do it! Why not?"
Max was clearly making Lucy incredibly happy and she could see no reason for him not to meet the family. He seemed like a great guy simply because of how Lucy reacted to him but even if he was a miser with a bad reputation, she would have given him a chance. Anything to see her mother smile. It had been too long. There was a wonderful, new man in her life and she should totally celebrate and enjoy it.
She'd been hurt by her husband, hurt by Michael thanks to a half vampire she knew nothing about.
Max was bringing her joy and that was no small thing.
"Well, I just-"
"-Mom, you deserve to be happy. I want to meet him"
"You do?"
"Of course" Elizabeth shrugged, "that's all there is to it! He makes you happy. Why wouldn't I want to meet him?"
"I don't...I don't want to impose on you or make you feel like I'm, you know?" she blushed again, looking years younger but glancing down, "I don't want you to think I'm replacing your father"
"But you are?"
Lucy looked up suddenly, shocked, hurt and Elizabeth hastened, "no, no, no, no I think it's good"
"What?"
"Mom, I'm...OK, you know what? I feel like this has been a really deep morning and I respect that we can have these conversations so...I'm just gonna say it..."
She felt a change.
She really was going to be a new, strong woman and it was going to begin now.
"I call him Dad out of courtesy and respect because you adopted me as a family and he filled the role as best he could but come on. Let's call a spade a spade? He's the man who adopted me and I'm so thankful for that, beyond grateful...but I call you Mom because you are my mother. You literally nurtured me and loved me and you did from day one" Elizabeth felt her eyes well a little, surprised by the sincerity in her words, "you're the single most loving person I've ever met and I hated seeing the way he treated you. I...I'm gonna say the thing an adopted child should probably never say but uh, yeah. After the divorce, I told myself that I'd drop Dad faster than a hot potato if you ever found someone who makes you happy"
Lucy wiped at her eyes, "phew! God, when did you...gosh, when did you get so...mature?"
Elizabeth laughed, drying her own eyes, too, "no idea!"
"You'd be happy to meet him?"
"Thrilled"
"At the house?"
"Couldn't think of a better place"
"How's the day after tomorrow sound?"
"I'm free"
Lucy laughed and Elizabeth chuckled along with her.
"I love you so much, sweetheart"
"I love you, too Mom"
Lucy smiled, "really. Thank you for talking with me, I think...I think maybe you're onto a good thing with this whole...being nice to myself concept"
Elizabeth nodded, "I think I am. Michael will come around and I'd love to meet Max"
In more ways than one, she really did think she was right.
She felt right. She felt good, positive.
For the first time that morning, she felt like she was making the right choices.
"Just you know..think about how you broach this with Sammy"
She knew, based on her own reaction that it would be best not to mention Michael to the younger Emerson brother. She couldn't guess what the fallout would be and she supposed that was something she should ask the pack about but beyond that, he was such a closed book regarding the divorce in general.
Sometimes he'd make a comment or a joke but there was no consistency.
It was a tough one to call.
Lucy nodded, "he's a sweet kid but I never know where I stand with him"
"Hah, that's an understatement. I never know what he's thinking"
"I was going to take you two for dinner tonight, if you're up for it?"
Elizabeth knew she would see Dwayne, one way or another. Early evening, late night.
She would see him, exactly when didn't matter.
She knew that it would be meaningful and important when they met and she was beginning to think of everything that she was going to say to him. Her words and actions were more important than the time or place.
"That would be nice...you're planning to talk with him then?"
"No idea! I thought so but I feel nervous. God, look at me. Like a little girl! I'm helping Max with another store tomorrow, so I won't be here tomorrow night or tomorrow morning, really. I don't want to go away if Sammy is upset with me. Is that silly?"
"Not at all"
"I'll take it as it comes...if it feels right, I'll bring it up"
"He won't be upset. But is uh.." Elizabeth smiled conspiratorially, "is tomorrow all work?"
"I'm working during the day"
"Uh-huh..."
"And we're getting dinner in the evening"
"Sharing a hotel?"
Lucy laughed, blushing, "no! You're terrible! No he...well, he's very...oh, he's such a gentleman.."
"Bet you wanna share the room though, huh?"
Lucy giggled again, brightening like a giddy school girl and Elizabeth giggled along with her.
It felt good to laugh, good to be happy.
She had found her strength, she had made her choice.
She was choosing power, she was choosing happiness and she hoped her mother would, too.
As if responding to the sudden surge of joy in the little kitchen, there was a sudden crack, followed by the slow, almost languid but unmistakable pattering of rain.
Just at the two women grinned at each other, eyebrows raised at the perfect timing of the sudden change in weather, Sammy lumbered into the kitchen.
"You two cackle like hyenas. Can't a guy sleep?"
"Were we really that loud?"
Sammy shrugged, his hair all ruffled and bleary eyed.
"You're not really a morning person, are you Sammy?" Elizabeth mused as her brother pulled out a chair.
"We got cereal?"
"In the cupboard, my love, the same place it's been since day one" Lucy said, pushing her chair backwards, "I'd better go get the laundry in"
"You did laundry already?!" Sam said, sounding almost disgusted, "it's seven!"
"Yes and the early bird catches the worm"
"All you caught was rain" he told his mother with a grin, perking up from his morning gloom.
"Uh-huh, if you're not careful you'll be helping me bring it all in, buddy"
"Do you want help?" Elizabeth asked, laughing as Sammy made a zipping motion over his lips.
"You're fine. Enjoy the coffee"
Eyes twinkling, Lucy headed into the small conservatory before approaching the overgrown and well loved garden.
It was good to see her mother happy.
As Elizabeth watched Sammy approach the cupboard, looking for his beloved cereal, she thought of Dwayne.
As the rain fell harder, she knew that she would see him happy, too.
Tonight would be the night.
Tonight, she was going to be an equal partner.
She was going to show him what it meant to have a mate.
A/N: Ahhh the muses came back! Thank you all for the reviews. I appreciate them beyond words, you genuinely have no idea!