"...hurry up" Elizabeth murmured once more, feeling warm and content.
She certainly did want Dwayne to hurry up but she couldn't lie and say she wasn't content to wait for him.
The Widow's present was obviously amazing because she was warm. Not toasty warm but comfortable and not at all cold. She couldn't even feel the chill of the room and, as she blinked, she found that she actually felt quite cocooned.
Why did she feel so cocooned when the dress didn't even have sleeves? Sure it had straps but they were fairly loose ones at that, close to dropping down from her shoulders.
It was strange, a little confusing but she was happy for it, all the same.
It was a thoughtful gift and she was glad that Grandpa had someone who made him happy, someone who was kind and seemingly sweet.
She stretched, wondering how much longer she would have to wait until Dwayne would finally arrive before freezing suddenly.
It was as if someone had poured a bucket of ice cold water over her and she gasped, jerking herself upright.
She had fallen asleep.
She wasn't sitting on the end of her bed, she wasn't looking at the window.
"Oh my God...oh my God..." she gasped, throwing back her blankets with a confusing burst of energy.
She had fallen asleep...and someone had tucked her into bed.
Someone had picked her up.
She must have been slouched on the end of her bed, on top of the covers and facing the window and it was obvious what had happened.
Someone had placed her under the sheets, tucked her in and left her alone.
Safe, secure and comfortable in bed.
"Oh my God..." she cried to herself in desperation, jumping to her feet and immediately feeling the cold floor as she did.
So much for warmth she had felt.
She ran to the window but it was shut and, as she jerked it upwards and stuck her head out into the pouring darkness, there was nothing - and nobody - to be seen.
"No, no, no! Motherfu-no!"
She had been waiting all day for this moment, all day for him to arrive and she had missed him?
She couldn't believe it.
Shutting the window, shaking her head a little to disperse the rain that had settled on her hair, she ran to her door. It was a stupid move, almost a gut reaction but she just couldn't believe that he had been and left.
She knew he had been the one to make sure she was warm and safe in bed, she knew that Dwayne had been to see her.
Maybe he was still there? Maybe he was in the house? Waiting for her to wake up?
She ran down her stairs quietly, not even taking a second to marvel at how quiet she was actually being despite her panic. Moving with confidence, knowing that hesitation resulted in creaks, she firmly but silently opened her door before tiptoeing with speed and building despair to the main stairs. There were no beams of lights coming from under Lucy's door, Sammy's door or the family bathroom and she didn't care to turn around and check Grandpa's, to see if the storm had made him retreat.
In that moment, she didn't care about her family, she didn't care that her feet were starting to feel a little bit numb and she didn't care about the storm raging outside.
All that she cared about was the total and utter silence.
Everyone was sleeping, everything was as it should be.
There was no Dwayne.
No Dwayne but maybe he was downstairs? She bit her lip, eyebrows furrowed at the idea. It was possible...he could be there. It would make sense, he would hardly be chilling in the hallway. She was trying to reason with herself, trying to calm herself and she knew it but she nodded anyway.
Dwayne could very well be in the living room. He could have been...been...admiring the stuffed animals?
She wanted to cry as she silently dashed down to the living room, immediately seeing that of course there was nothing and nobody to be found.
"Shit" she whispered dejectedly into the empty space, honestly just wanting to sit down and sob.
He wasn't there.
He hadn't been lingering outside her window - and rightly so, really, given the weather - and of course he wasn't just killing time in her house. He had been to see her, saw that she had been asleep and so he had tucked her into bed before leaving as silently as he had came.
Considerate. Unobtrusive.
Had he kissed her forehead? Brushed away her hair? Given her a lingering touch?
Kind, caring, sweet.
He had displayed just a small handful of the many qualities that she loved about him but right then, she wished he hadn't.
God, she wished he had been demanding and needy and rude. She wished that he had shaken her awake, commanding attention and claiming her time.
She bit her lip, shaking her head. She found that she wanted to cry even more at her thoughts.
It was so unfair.
Knowing everything that she did, she felt her heart absolutely shatter for him.
Would Dwayne ever catch a break? She loved him and she loved his secretive, respectful, soft side and yet there she was, silently wishing for him to be brusque.
He literally couldn't win.
Was he ever going to have it easy?
She had everything planned out perfectly, planned to perfection. She knew what she had to do, after her dreams, everything was clear to her. It was supposed to be tonight, things were going to change for him. She was going to make them change but here she was. She had messed up and he was once again alone with his thoughts, without his mate.
She had fallen asleep and she had missed her chance.
She wondered where Dwayne had gone.
Had he gone to feed? To be with his brothers?
She didn't know, she couldn't guess as to what he would be doing right now but it broke her heart that she wasn't with him.
There was so much she wanted to say to Dwayne, so much that she needed to tell him. She had made up her mind, she had made her choice without any question or doubt and she had been sitting on it all day, the seriousness of her decision weighing her down in the most wonderfully bittersweet way.
She needed to tell him, she needed to tell him everything and she needed to comfort him. He had suffered for so long and she was ready, she was finally ready to put it right.
It had all been leading up to this night, everything, really had been leading up to this night...and she had missed him.
"..shit" she repeated miserably, sitting down on the bottom stair.
She didn't know what to do.
She hadn't really thought he would be in the house but she had hoped and in her hope, she hadn't thought what would happen if she didn't find him.
A rumble of thunder roared in the distance before a bolt of lightning illuminated the room, casting a bright, brief and sharp glow on the many stuffed animals lingering in the shadows. As darkness fell in the house once more and she was left alone with the heavy rains, howling of the wind and the strong threat of more thunderstorms, she took a breath.
She hadn't been sleeping that long, her bed was warm enough but it hadn't been toasty warm, it certainly wasn't the sort of warmth that came from a long time being spent burrowed beneath the sheets.
Wherever Dwayne was, she knew that she could catch him. If she left, if she went to look for him, she knew she would find him.
She had the time and she had her legs.
She knew that she had use them.
What else was there to do?
She had made many decisions that day and one of them was that she was going to stop being a victim. She was going to be a strong, powerful and informed woman, not a weeping little girl, an easy target for lies and manipulation...and yet here she was, ready to sit in the dark living room and cry.
Great start...she thought to herself sarcastically and bitterly, once more standing up in the cold room.
Yes, she had made a great deal of choices that day and she had already messed up on the most important one. She had fallen asleep, she had missed Dwayne. Now, here she was, faced with a problem and she was setting down to defeat?
She took a breath, steeling herself.
Hadn't she been kind of a badass when faced with Paul's rude girl? Hadn't she been a bit of a ball buster with Paul, too?
She was a changed woman.
She wanted to see Dwayne, she needed to see him...so that's exactly what she was going to do.
It was an oddly clear but somewhat desperate feeling. It was reckless, almost but it felt right. No time to think, no time to plan. She was going to act. Perhaps it was Paul's influence on her, his wild sort of 'you only live once' attitude. Perhaps it was Marko's brand of blunt, steely determination to see facts as facts and act on them? Hell, maybe it was the way David did what he wanted, when he wanted with the cool, calm surety of someone who knew he was never wrong.
Whatever it was, she was feeling it.
She wasn't weak, she wasn't going to sit down and cry.
She wanted to see Dwayne and no amount of rain, no amount of thunder, no amount of anything was going to stop her.
He was her mate and she was going to get him.
She was doing what she should have done from the start.
Wiping at her eyes, feeling glad and proud that they were actually dry, she walked quietly but with purpose to the pile of shoes near the door. Her chin was pointed upwards, almost haughtily in a wonderful imitation of her mate and right then she was sure of what she was doing.
It was stupid, it was crazy but it was right.
She was going to find him.
She wasn't wearing socks and she was still in that white nightdress but she didn't care. How well would thermal hold up in the rain? She didn't know. Right then again, she didn't care about that at all, either.
She grabbed the first pair of sneakers that she saw, a battered pair of canvas slip ons that had certainly seen better days and looked around for an umbrella. There were none to be seen, though Grandpa did have an interesting cane on display and so, with a shake of her head, making the best of the situation, she picked up the first shawl she thought wouldn't be missed.
She had no jackets on the coat stand and she knew her brother would notice if she'd worn one of his.
She knew, dimly, that she could have gone back to her room and changed her clothes but she found that she didn't want to.
It was simple.
She had a path in her mind: she was going out the door and she was going to run until she found him.
That was it.
There was no going back, no turning around.
She'd made her mind up about Dwayne and about what she was doing.
She carefully and quietly opened the front door, tugged the shawl around her body as tight as she could and simply slipped out into the storm.
No fanfare, no interruptions.
She was leaving.
She was going after the man she loved and even in the rain, in the cold and dark night, she felt alive and invigorated.
She knew what she was doing was right.
She was doing right by herself but more than that, she was doing right by Dwayne.
For the first time, she was doing right by her mate.
As she took off into a run down her drive, she couldn't help but laugh.
The rain was heavy and she was soaked through in seconds, even with the shawl. Her hair was sticking flat to her head, curling around her neck and down her back.
She was such a fool, but it felt wonderful to be one.
It felt amazing to take charge.
She laughed again before swiping at her locks, knowing that she was helping to turn them a matted mess but she didn't care about that, either.
Breathing heavily, not used to sudden exercise, or exercise at all really, she glanced behind her.
Darkness.
No house but no Dwayne, either. She knew she had a lot more running to do but she'd never been happier.
After an indeterminable amount of time, she turned, heading towards the direction of the beach that she and Sammy had hung out on. Even in her haze of reckless happiness, she knew that it was a better choice, that it was safer to stay away from the boardwalk. The beach would be dark and empty, it would be just her and the storm. The boardwalk would be...well, it would probably be empty too, save for the restless and uncaring people lingering around and she didn't think an encounter with people like that was something she needed.
She laughed again. She was being recklessly smart.
"Dwayne?" she called out hopefully, breathlessly as she ran, raising her voice only because she knew she was a safe distance away from almost all civilization.
Grandpa living an isolated life in his isolated house was coming in very handy for her.
She didn't know quite how long she had been running for, time seemed to be slowing down and speeding up but when she started to slope downwards toward the waiting sand, seeing the asphalt road taper off into the distance, her legs trembled a little and she forced herself to slow down. She had been running with such momentum, she knew she was at risk of falling head first, losing her balance and cutting herself up.
She felt the urge to laugh again, imagining presenting herself to Dwayne sopping wet and streaked with cuts and blood.
It was quite the image.
She panted lightly, legs aching, feeling chilled.
It was going to be a long, long walk to the cave. She knew that running would have to stop for a while, she just didn't have it in her to run like that anymore. Walking along the beach to get to the boardwalk was going to add an hour or more to her journey but she knew that Dwayne would be furious if she put herself in danger by going to the boardwalk itself alone, barely dressed and so early in the morning.
She was desperate, but she wasn't stupid.
As her feet sank into the beach, filling her sodden canvas shoes with heavy and wet, uncomfortable sand that felt more like barley damp concrete, she laughed.
She wasn't stupid?
She was the biggest idiot in the world...but still, it felt good to be one.
Wiping at her face, hating the way the rain was clinging to her skin, she kicked off the shoes.
The sand was freezing but it was easier to walk barefoot and so she started, calling out his name once more.
"Please come? Dwayne!"
Trudging forward, walking instead of even trying to run, she closed her eyes.
I need you. I need you. I need you. I need you, she chanted desperately in her head, smiling happily as she thought of him.
Thunder continued to rumble in the distance but there had been no more lightening.
She wondered if she was walking into the storm and then a delightfully terrible idea popped into her head.
Please come. Please, please. I need you, Dwayne...I'm on the beach. I'm waiting for you. You have to come..Dwayne? Dwayne?
Naughty, a little misleading playing the helpless victim card but she thought it would work...if he could even hear her thoughts, that was.
She laughed again.
She opened her eyes and nodded happily to herself when she saw the familiar showers that she had Sammy had used. Off and away from them was an old brick and concrete building that had been locked but other than that, nothing. She knew where she was and it made her happy to know that she had actually covered a decent bit of distance but at the same time, it reinforced just how long a journey she had ahead of her.
I need to see you! I need you, I-
"-Dwayne!"
She blinked through the rain and the darkness, looking stupidly at the figure stood before her.
He had heard her?
He had come?
"Dwayne!" she trilled happily, feeling like she could fly.
It was him.
His sudden appearance didn't surprise her, it didn't shock her though really, it should have. He had all but appeared out of thin air but she was too relieved, elated to dwell on it.
He was there.
He was with her.
He had heard her.
Without thinking, she launched herself at him, running the short distance through the sand. She threw her arms around him, reveling in the warmth she felt from his body, his touch, his presence.
She knew it was impossible for him to warm her but she felt it all the same.
"You heard me!" she cried happily into his chest, "did you hear me? God, Dwayne, I can't believe that I missed you!"
As his arms wrapped around her in response, he asked her with genuine concern and fright, "are you trying to kill yourself?! Elizabeth, you're clothes-you-it's freezing, it's dark-"
She could feel the rain falling heavily against her head, soaking her hair, her arms and she could feel him use his body to push her back through the sand a little, as much as he could without forcing her, but most importantly, more than anything else...she could feel him.
"-I love you! Did you hear me?"
"I love you, too?" he told her dismissively, his voice deep and low but also laced with genuine confusion and undeniable anger, "of course I heard you but why-why the-fuck, why would go outside like this? It's so cold, it's raining"
He sounded genuinely shocked, unable to process what was happening and she laughed, shaking head as she held him tighter.
She had never heard him sound so flustered.
"Well, yeah but I needed to see you"
What else could she say? That's all there was so it.
She needed to see him, she wanted to see him and so she had found him.
"Elizabeth, this is how people die, are you insane?" he was angry, annoyed, chastising her but there was love in his voice, too and she held onto him even more.
"People don't die from the rain, Dwayne" she replied, "I needed to see you"
"Yes, they do"
"Not in this century they don't"
She smiled into his chest, breathing deeply and taking in as much of him as she could.
"You're going to get sick"
His voice was firm, disbelieving, shocked.
He was stunned.
"I'll take antibiotics"
"That's ridiculous, you're being crazy right now-"
She laughed, "-maybe I am but I needed to see you"
"I'm taking you back to your house"
"No, Dwayne, I need to talk to you"
"What's wrong? What happened?" she could hear the worry in his voice, "no. No, get inside first, you're soaked to the bone and..." he paused for a second and when he spoke, she had to smother her smile.
The tone of his voice, the heavy and shocked timber of his words were new to her, "...where the fuck are your shoes?"
"They were annoying me, so I kicked them off"
He groaned, "Jesus, you are insane"
She could feel him still moving, still walking in the sand, pushing her backwards.
"I wanted to see you"
In that moment, it was all that she could say.
"Elizabeth, this is crazy. Would it have been so terrible to catch me tomorrow night?"
"Yes!"
"Hey? Hey, this is scaring me now" he gave her a small squeeze and she took the hint, gently pulled away from him, "what happened?"
She could see that they were closer to the showers now and she shook her head, not wanting to go home.
He had pushed her quite a little distance backwards.
She knew what she wanted to do and her Grandfather's house played no role in it.
It had to be just the two of them.
No distractions, no worries.
Now that she was out with him, there was no way she was going back inside.
"I'm sorry I asked to see it all, Dwayne" she told him, looking up at him through the pouring rain.
He looked torn for a second, torn and confused and still angry and she hastened, "not because of what I saw. What I saw was..." she shook her head again, "it was beyond anything I could have imagined...I'm sorry because...Dwayne, I'm sorry because I didn't need to see it. I knew all along, I didn't need the reassurance or the, the validation or any of that"
"What's happened?" he asked again, confusion clear in his voice, "Elizabeth, this couldn't have waited? You're soaked-"
"-I love you, Dwayne"
"I love you, too?"
He looked lost, exasperated.
She touched his face gently, feeling how the water didn't seem to be affecting him in the same way it did her.
She could feel her soaking wet hair and she could feel that there were droplets stuck to her skin, getting in her eyes, joining with other droplets and snaking their way down her face. It wasn't a comfortable feeling but for him? She was sure he didn't feel the same. She didn't doubt it. It was wax like, almost, the way the droplets just slid away from his skin. His hair was wet but it wasn't matted and clumpy, like hers. Even though the visible material of his clothes were sodden, too, they weren't clinging to him like hers were.
He really was perfect.
"Elizabeth-"
"-I asked to see because-"
"-no" his voice was firm.
"I have to say this, please!"
She had been waiting all day, he had been waiting since she'd arrived in Santa Carla.
It had to happen, she had to tell him.
She thought she'd burst if she didn't.
"I'm not going home, Dwayne, I have to talk to you"
"There" he said, his voice set as he jerked his head towards the showers, "if you won't be reasonable, at least be dry?"
She nodded, doing so only because she could feel his frustration and he took her hand, leading her almost as if he didn't trust her to follow his instructions.
She understood his concerns about her health and mental state - she did feel kind of crazy, running in the middle of a storm and it was reinforced by his steely refusal to be anything other than annoyed about it - but the thing was, she understood what she had to do and that's what it came down to.
For once, she was doing something for him.
"They're locked though" she warned him, pointing to the small, grey building that he was leading her towards.
She and Sammy had tried them out of curiosity.
He gave her an indulgent look and, when they reached the door, he effortlessly slammed it open using just the palm of his hand. It banged loudly as it hit the inside wall and rebounded. Even through the howling wind and rain she could hear the metallic clatter of the lock piece falling to the floor.
"You're going to be the death of me, Elizabeth" he told her, ushering her into the small space.
She simply smiled up at him, knowing that he could see her features clearly even if she couldn't quite make out his.
She knew that it would be the other way around.
Eventually, Dwayne was going to be the death of her.
It was dark, kind of dank and dusty inside the deceptively large space but it was clean enough. There was no litter that she could see, no obvious or looming cobwebs either. Clearly it wasn't used and hadn't been used in a long time. There was no furniture lying around. Like a lot of things in Santa Carla, she supposed it had just been forgotten about. There were pipes of varying sizes lining all of the walls, she could see them clearly if she squinted. There was a hefty looking stove to the side, a big old metal thing and she thought that maybe once upon a time the building was a caretakers lodge or maintenance room for the showers?
It was a an odd little room but what else could it be?
She rubbed her hands together.
"There used to be a small cluster of beach cottages down here" Dwayne told her, righting the door.
As they were plunged into darkness and the roar of the wind became less pronounced due to the shelter, he continued, "they were nothing special, more of a place for people to clean off, change, get out of the sun, you know?"
She could hear him clicking, messing around with something and she grimaced, shuddering a little as she heard a heavy metal grate being opened.
It sounded rusty and the sound had gone right through her, like nails on a chalkboard.
"So what's this place?" she asked, wondering if he was speaking to keep himself busy, to stop himself thinking about how reckless she had been.
That was probably the case.
She had never seen him so lost, so confused or unable to speak.
If it had been any other time it would have been comical but she was too attuned to his experiences now, too aware of his feelings to make light of them.
"It supplied hot water to the cottages. See the pipes and the pumps? And-"
there was a spark of light so sudden that Elizabeth blink stupidly as the image of Dwayne hunched over the stove was seared into his eyes.
"-it housed a janitor. Everything was breaking back then, stuff always getting blocked. People say buy American for quality, it's bull"
Dwayne was definitely engaging her in this conversation to distract himself, there was absolutely no doubt about it.
"Did the janitor live here?" she asked him, scrunching up her face, "it's tiny and dank and there's no toilet?"
She heard a light laugh, almost reluctant and fleeting, as if he was amused by her simplicity but still highly annoyed by her stupid dash into a storm.
"I said a janitor, not Freddy Kruger. He was here during business hours. Daytime, business hours"
"Oh"
The spark returned and once again, Elizabeth blinked, shivering a little.
Now that she was out of the rain, she could really feel the chill.
She could feel herself coming down from her reckless enjoyment.
She bit her lip, starting to feel her confidence wane just a little.
"Um...so did you know him?"
That laugh again, reluctant but as if he couldn't help himself, "of course not? Anyway, they demolished the cottages in '49 and I assume he left right along with them"
"Why?"
"No cottages means no job"
"That's not what I meant" she told him, trying to smile but finding their conversation becoming a little awkward.
She was starting to feel the weight of what she was about to do and she was sure he was angry, confused and worried, too.
"People didn't come this way. It's a long walk and they stopped the pony rides on the beach, so that put people off. Realistically, who was going to walk all the way down here?"
"I guess that makes sense"
"It happens"
"Well why did they keep this?"
On top of everything, she was starting to feel a little nervous, too.
Dwayne was talking to keep his mind off her actions, she was speaking to stop thinking about what she was planning and it was starting to feel forced, as if they could both feel that something big was coming and were both trying to put it off.
She wrapped her wet arms around her equally wet torso as he replied, "my guess is they figured that if they ever needed to rebuild in the future, it'd be good to have the basics already established. Like plumbing, piping..."
She saw a movement and realized that he had gestured to the pipes lining the entirety of the room, "come here, would you?"
She dutifully did as she was told, pausing when a spark seemed to take on a life of its own and burst into a sudden and comforting looking fire.
She blinked happily as the soft, flickering orange glow cast light around the room. With the wild weather outside, it felt almost instantly cosy despite the kind of desolate space.
She watched as Dwayne closed the grate and she smiled at him, glad that she could see his face clearly.
She moved to sit before the surprisingly warm stove and directly in front of him, as he had asked.
Already, she felt warmer.
"That took you longer than I thought it would..."
She was teasing him a little, not sure what else to say or where to start and he looked at her with amused frustration, slipping off his wet jacket.
He hung it easily on one of the lower pipes, "you are in the strangest mood tonight, Elizabeth Emerson..."
"You don't like it?"
He shook his head in the negative once and she nodded, knowing that she had probably petrified him with her actions.
"I know, I know..." she smiled and shrugged, combing her fingers through her hair, "it's just...I was happy and now...I mean, I'm still happy but I'm nervous. I needed to see you and now I have you and..."
She smiled again, feeling her hair resting flat and damp against her scalp but at least neatly, "...and yeah. Now I'm nervous and trying to use humor to...well, to not be nervous..."
"Why?"
"Why am I nervous?"
She was aware that she was kind of repeating herself and she bit her lip, willing herself to stop.
He shook his head, slicking his own wet hair back and she swallowed.
That movement was so effortlessly sexy but he didn't seem to realize
His face was serious, "no. Why did you run out into the rain like a crazy woman? That was so dangerous, you would have seen me tomorrow"
"...I needed to see you tonight"
"Why?"
"...because...because I had a realization and I...I feel good about it. It's right, I felt that it was right. The right time, you know? Dwayne, for the first time I actually feel in control of something and I knew what I had to do...and that's so..if felt so..." she shrugged, "...it felt wonderful. I haven't felt in control this whole time and I wanted to grab hold of it and embrace it and I wanted it to be tonight and...you weren't there, so I went to get you"
"What on earth are you talking about?" he asked her, sitting forward and touching his hand against her forehead.
He frowned before gently, carefully but seriously tugging away her shawl.
He draped it over one of the pipes, leaving it to hang next to his jacket. Some of the fabric was brushing against the floor but she actually felt better without it being wrapped around her.
His hands traced her neck before moving towards her collar bone, her shoulders and she shivered a little.
"Take this off, OK baby?" he murmured gently moving the loose straps of her nightgown.
"I'm not sick?" she protested quietly.
"Trust me"
She looked at him before nodding and moving to undo the delicate little decorative buttons trailing down the bust, tilting her body towards the flames a little more as she did. She didn't feel cold, as such, but her fingers must have been a little bit numb because she was making pretty poor work of it.
She felt clumsy but, as his fingers brushed hers away, she let her hands fall down into her lap.
She watched him as he gently and deftly removed the rest of the buttons.
The air already felt warmer and, as he softly tugged the loose and open dress down towards her hips, she swallowed.
"I know that I sound a bit like I'm rambling but I'm really not. And I'm not sick, I swear. Running in the rain looks bad but it wasn't some impulse it was a...it was well thought out plan..kind of.." she told him quietly, "I just...I had to see you, that's all it was. I promise I'm in my right mind. You don't have to worry about me"
"No, you are rambling" he told her insistently but without anger. He gently ran his hand across her cheek before pulling it away, tugging off the shirt he was wearing, "and I'm always going to worry about you...that's the stupidest thing you've ever done. You're mortal, Elizabeth"
She nodded, knowing that he wasn't over-exaggerating. He really had been worried for her.
He was worried for her.
She smiled softly at him.
His t-shirt was relatively dry, obviously his jacket had protected him against the brunt of the rain, doing a much better job than her own shawl had.
"Dry off with this" he commanded, holding it out to her.
She did as he asked, using the simple shirt as best she could. Her hair was starting to dry anyway thanks to the warmth and proximity of the stove and she found that it wasn't terribly difficult to dry herself in general.
The room was starting to get comfortable, too and she knew that she wouldn't get sick.
He had acted too fast for that.
He gestured to her dress and she nodded, carefully shimmying herself out of it. Again, though she was naked, wearing only her a pair of underwear under the dress, she was better off without the damp, clinging material and she could feel the difference. He took it from her, shaking it out once before draping it over the body of the stove.
She knew that it would be dry in no time.
She handed him the shirt, "thank you for caring about me"
He gave her an indulgent, exasperated look.
"Don't thank me. I'll always take care of you"
"...but right now you're annoyed that you needed to?"
He nodded, "seriously, what were you thinking?"
"What I told you" she reiterated with a shrug, "I needed to see you"
He shook his head, "I'm not more important than your health"
The moment those words had left his mouth, she knew that what she was doing was right.
He was her mate and he would do anything for her, yet he didn't expect the same in return?
In what world was that OK?
As if he wouldn't take the smallest risk just to see her?
He would have done more if the roles had been reversed, she knew it.
He knew it, too.
"..you can sit on this" he said, looking away from her.
It was almost as if he could read her thoughts for he seemed almost distracted but glad for it, glad to have a reason to break their sincere and loaded moment of silence.
She watched as he tugged out a meticulously folded but thick wad of fabric from the back pocket of his jeans. As he unfurled it, she saw that it was actually a flag, and a pretty sizable one at that.
She folded her arms under her breasts, tilting her head.
"Russian?"
"Soviet"
"Is there a difference?" she murmured quietly.
"You wanna talk politics?"
She shook her head, standing for a moment.
He shook it out once in a sharp, cracking motion and spread it on the floor in front of the stove, in the same spot that she had been sat on her knees.
"Are you a communist?"
"No. It's just a fashion choice" he murmured, holding out his hand to her and helping her to sit down on the dry material, "I didn't want it to get wet"
She smiled fleetingly at his words but of course he caught it, "what?"
"Just...you don't seem the type. At first glance, I mean...you don't look like the kind of guy to care about stuff like that"
"Still judging books by their covers?"
She nodded, "like on the carousel, yeah...we kissed that night...the first time..."
He gave her the ghost of a smile and she took a small breath.
"I was so nervous to be with you, you know? I was flirting but it felt so surreal. Like, how could a man like you be interested in me?"
He watched her and she leaned towards him, reaching out and running her fingers down his face.
"I think I've changed a lot since then, Dwayne. I feel like...like I wouldn't even recognize myself and I want to tell you that I'm sorry"
"What?"
"I'm sorry it's taken me so long, that it's been so hard...I'm sorry that it took Star for me to see what's been in front of me all this time"
In the quiet, comfortable stillness of the abandoned cottage, in the orange glow of the fire, it felt like they were alone in the world.
Just the two of them.
She smiled at him, knowing that it was time.
The nerves had faded, her reckless but liberating craziness had diminished and she nodded her head lightly, steeling herself.
"I was...God, Dwayne, I was naive and I was silly. I was stupid to have asked to see your memories. I knew all along what I was choosing, I knew who I was choosing and just...asking to see was silly and selfish"
"What are you talking about? You weren't selfish-"
"-no, I was. You've given me everything, literally everything you have and I asked to see more just because of Star? I knew all along how I felt. I knew all along that you've been there for me, I knew, I recognized all the things that you've done for me but I doubted it. I knew but I asked to see?"
She shook head, feeling disappointed in herself.
"I know you and I should have trusted you about Michael-"
"-no, you were right to want to see that. You were right to want to see everything, this is no small thing, Elizabeth. You have every right to know everything, to know what I'm bringing you in to"
His voice was sober, low and she smiled.
She really didn't deserve him.
All the times he had told her that, yet she saw that it was actually the reverse.
He was a wonderful, honest if not flawed man and she loved him.
She loved every single thing about him.
"Dwayne..." she trailed her fingers down, past his jaw and he took her hands in his, kissing her knuckles before lowering them away from his face.
"...seeing, experiencing what you've felt...it made me realize that I have been so lucky. I've had it so easy. I'm sorry that I didn't recognize how hard it's been for you"
"You're worth it"
She swallowed, "the thing is, it made me realize that I know you. I love you, I trust you...I need you and I want to be with you. I know the real you, the man beneath the darkness and I love you...I always have loved you. From day one, really..."
He studied her face, frowning a little as he did.
She understood why.
Her tone was soft, reproachful almost despite the positive words she was saying.
She had been happily crazy but now she was soft and considered.
She knew it sounded like the lead in to a break up and she took a breath, knowing that she was going to be asking a lot of him.
"I told you, I've told Marko...I've said that I accept the dark side of what you are, of what you do but Star came along and kind of..well, when push came to shove I didn't handle it very well"
"It's understandable"
"Yes and no" she told him gently, "but that's not important now, not anymore. What I want to tell you is that I mean it. I-I've seen some pretty...some pretty unsavory stuff. Some pretty bad stuff..."
Images of the blood, the tears filled her mind for a moment. The pleading and the smell of vomit and urine, the laughter of David and Paul. The image of her brother, stung and hurt.
"...and it's complicated. I feel guilty because I can still honestly and without question say that I choose you despite it all. And I feel guilty because being your mate is...it's everything. You've made it everything but in return what have you had? Fear and pain? Suffering? I didn't even know it, I didn't have a clue..."
He was watching her with a frown, almost as if he couldn't believe the words he was hearing.
"Dwayne, please tell me honestly and truthfully, right now...what is it you fear the most?"
"That you'll reject me"
His reply was immediate but the tone of his voice was so even, so flat that she knew how much it had hurt him to be honest.
"I knew it" she replied, holding his hand tighter.
She was sat, naked and exposed before him but he was far, far more vulnerable than she was.
"And I know that sometimes words are cheap...I've kind of proved that already so...Dwayne, what I had to tell you...what I needed to tell you was that I'm ready"
"Ready?"
She felt him freeze. She could feel his fear and while she understood it, she wasn't afraid.
She wanted him to be himself.
She wanted him to know once and for all that she was his, that nothing about who - or what - he was would change it.
She trusted him but she trusted herself, too.
She trusted what she felt.
"Dwayne, I love you. I choose you without doubt and I need you to know that no matter what, I am yours. I belong to you. I mean it..."
His jaw was tight, "Elizabeth.."
She nodded, trying to reassure him.
All day she had been thinking about it. Words were cheap. She could tell him that she would love him no matter what, that she would accept him but one visit from Star and she had doubted it, asked to see his memories to prove that everything she knew she was real really was real.
It was terrible.
How could he ever relax, how could he ever be himself, enjoy having a mate when he was hiding who he really was?
It was time.
"I know you and I want to see you. Please, Dwayne. You've shown me who you are...I'm ready to see what you are"
"That's-that's why..." his voice trailed off in shock for the first time that she could remember and, as he looked away from her, she didn't miss the way his jaw twitching.
He looked tortured, really and truly tortured and Elizabeth scooted closer to him, feeling the flames warming the side of her body but also the room.
"Yes. Yes, I want to see you. I'm ready to see you. It's been too long, I couldn't...I didn't want to wait any longer. I didn't want you to wait any longer, Dwayne..."
He withdrew his hands from hers silently, brushing back his wet hair once again as he did.
It fell back, away from his face.
"Elizabeth..."
"I love you" she told him, her voice as low as his, "I'm never going to hurt you. It's done, OK? Everything is finished, it's in the past. I want to see you and I want you to know that you can trust me. Please...please let me see you? You can be yourself with me, Dwayne. You don't have to hide what you are, who you are..you don't have to hide, not any more..not ever"
She didn't know how she could show him that she was ready to see, she had to hope that he could trust her, trust that she was sure in her feelings.
It was a huge leap of faith for him.
She had never shown any inkling, any interest or even a hint of wanting to see his true form before.
They hadn't even talked about it.
She fully understood why he would be taken aback, this was an absolute bolt out of the blue for him and she supposed for her, too but she knew that she was ready.
She had accepted him and she wanted him to be himself with her.
She wanted to support and care for him in the same way he supported and cared for her.
There was no reason for him to hide himself or his feelings, not anymore.
Star's talk of monsters, feeling how much pain Dwayne had been through...lies, secrets, pain.
For what?
She loved Dwayne and she had chosen him. She had chosen him and she was ready to show him.
That's what it all came down to.
"I won't hurt you, Dwayne" she whispered, "I swear, I won't"
"Close your eyes" he instructed her, his voice heavy with hesitation and reluctance, "I don't want you...I don't..."
He didn't want her to scream.
He didn't want her to be afraid.
She could feel her heart breaking for him.
He had never before sounded so lost, so unsure.
The images just didn't reconcile themselves.
He was strong, he was powerful, he was confident, he was sure...but now he really did look and sound like a little lost boy.
"OK, yes. OK" she murmured, doing as she was told right away.
Now wasn't the time for teasing or pushing boundaries.
If he asked her to turn around or leave the room first, she would have done it, "of course..."
The last thing she wanted to do was cause him pain or worry on top of what he was feeling and she felt guilty because, once again, she was the cause of his suffering and pain.
She knew it all and yet here she was, asking more of him.
Heart thudding in anticipation, Elizabeth jumped silently when his hand met hers.
He had been so quiet, it had been all too easy to lose herself in her thoughts.
"Alright"
...alright?
"That's...that's it?" she queried, her voice barely even a whisper.
The air felt so tight, so close with tension but the reality was so simple.
It was surreal, confusing.
Disorienting, almost.
"Yes" he replied, the howl of the wind and the storms outside sounding miles and miles away.
He had made not a single sound, she hadn't heard or felt him move but she knew there was no reason for him to lie.
He had done it, he had changed himself and he was prepared to show who he really was.
The level of trust he had in her made her heart soar despite the butterflies she otherwise felt.
She allowed him to raise her hand, following his motions silently.
In an effort to steady herself, to quell her nerves, she touched his chest gently.
"OK" he whispered, releasing her hand.
Elizabeth felt herself frown, glad that her free hand was touching his chest but wishing he would hold her, touch her in turn.
She could tell that he was uncomfortable, she knew that it was an understatement. Alright, yes, OK...terse, tense words.
His touch soft but not comforting.
She hated herself for putting him through it.
Elizabeth felt air for a second before pushing forward, pausing when she met the cold skin of his jaw. She didn't know what she had been expecting but nothing had changed there, nothing was different.
It was him, it was the jaw she knew: defined, with the potential to be regal almost, a little rough with unshaven hair. It was familiar to her and feeling reassured, she allowed her hand to travel slowly upwards.
The skin of his face was unchanged but she felt herself frown lightly again, tilting her head when she felt the structure of his face change. It was around his eyes, she couldn't feel his eyebrows but it was...the area where they should have been was big? It felt large, swollen but solid.
She paused, her fingers lingering against what felt like his brow bone, but a disfigured, nightmarish version of it.
She didn't know what she was touching, she couldn't picture it but it felt like his eyes had...it felt like they had shrunk into his skull and his brow bone had been pushed out.
She couldn't imagine it, she couldn't picture it in her head.
What she was feeling was literally unimaginable.
"Does it hurt you?" she asked him in a whisper, moving her fingers once more, deftly traveling over his straight nose, smiling softly when she felt the cupid's bow just above his lip, "to change, I mean?"
Parts of him had changed, there was no denying it but he was still so normal.
His cheeks, his nose.
Him.
He felt like the Dwayne she knew.
"No"
"Not even a little?"
"Not even a little"
Elizabeth nodded, resting her fingers on his cheek, almost, she thought, where they had started.
She could feel him, his voice was unchanged, it was the man she loved.
It was Dwayne.
Confident and emboldened, she opened her eyes, gasping when she saw the man sat before her.
She had been wrong.
Everything had changed.
The Dwayne she knew was handsome, strong with defined features, a hard and almost unfriendly face, sort of aloof but at the same time filled with a secretive, calm and controlled haughty confidence. He was a cold enigma, a man who enticed whoever was observing him to try and break him, to try and elicit a smile, a twinkle, secretive glint of his eyes.
The man before her?
He was indescribable.
"You...your eyes" she whispered thickly, her voice breathless.
She could see the way his face had changed, the way in which his eyes had become sunken, the skin around them dark, the bone above them protruding more than was humanly possible but the eyes themselves?
She trailed her fingers upwards, her own eyes dancing over his face as she once again took in the sudden ridges, the sudden protrusions.
"..they're...oh my God..." she trailed off in subdued awe.
They were orange, lined with red and filled with flecks of silver, gold.
Reflective, almost horrific but compelling in the darkest of ways.
There was nothing romantic about them, nothing soft.
Nothing at all.
It was like nothing she could have imagined. There was no seductive element to his appearance, it was monstrous.
There was no denying it, no fighting it.
He was designed to kill, to feed, to strike fear into his victims and his eyes? Those dark, deep and soulful eyes?
They were transformed.
They were like fire pits.
They were raging, boiling, bubbling, painfully hot pools of lava that promised death, destruction...but God, they had taken her breath away.
They were magnificent in their ferocity, in the power they held.
She could feel herself being drawn into them, drawn into him and she could feel herself becoming hot.
It was as if the fire in his eyes was warming her more than the clothes he had offered and stove he had lit and it took all of her effort to look away, to look down towards his mouth.
He subjected himself to her stares, to the hesitant but curious wanderings of her chilled fingers and she found it hard to breath.
He was so dangerous but there he was, still and calm before her.
The wind was howling, all but slamming the rain against the side of the lodge. Her hair was wet, damp and she should have still been cold from her time spent lingering outside, she should have still been shivering but she was hot.
The trembles her body was wrecked with did not come from the weather.
It was as if he was warming her and she found her breath hitching.
The Dwayne that was presented to the world was cold and hard but his true, real form?
Pure fire.
There was no doubt that he was deadly.
He was designed to kill and as she studied the fangs that were so white, so sharp, she found herself without doubt.
She was the first to see him like this, to study and observe, to be close to him without fear of death.
This is what she had wanted from him but seeing him? Actually being before him, seeing his true form?
It cemented everything.
Breath hitching, she found the question spilling from her lips.
It was unplanned but raw, so raw and honest, "...would I become a...would I be like you?"
She swallowed heavily, her voice thick and lustful, an undeniable tremor of fear lining it.
She had wanted to look at him, to touch him and hold him but she found herself unable to take her eyes away from his fangs.
At first it had been his eyes, now it was his mouth.
He promised so much.
Pain. Death.
And despite that, despite the destruction she knew that he could cause, that he did cause, that he liked to cause...she remembered Marko's words.
She knew that those fangs, those deadly points promised pleasure, too.
"No"
His voice was thick, heavy with restraint and need and she felt it, too.
It felt surreal. She supposed it was surreal but at the same time, nothing had ever felt more solid, more tangible.
She hadn't planned for this, she hadn't expected it to happen but seeing him...seeing him had changed everything for her.
She had only planned on seeing the real him but now, looking at him, she knew what she wanted to happen.
"How does...how would I?"
"You have to take blood"
"...your blood?"
He nodded once and she felt faint, wonderfully, beautifully faint.
She knew what she wanted, she knew what she needed.
She had wanted to see the real him but now, beyond that, she wanted to give herself to him.
Fully, completely.
She wanted to be his and as she saw him, she knew what that would entail.
She knew and she wanted it.
Not a vampire, not an immortal, not yet...but she wanted to be his.
"If...if you.."
"You would still be mortal"
She could tell it was hard for him to speak and she felt dizzy with the possibilities before her.
She looked up at him, finally, staring into those deep, fire filled eyes but there was no rage, no fury reserved for her.
"...can you...?"
She couldn't finish, she couldn't keep the lust from her voice.
He nodded, though the movement was tense, as if it were a struggle for him to even consider what she was thinking.
"Is it...is it too much for you?"
She didn't want to ask that.
She wanted to be selfish once more, to focus on her needs and hers alone but she couldn't push him over the edge. She wanted to, God she wanted to but she couldn't do that to him.
"...just a taste" he whispered thickly, as if convincing himself and she nodded desperately. She swallowed, moving her body closer to his, touching his exposed chest and staring at it.
She asked him quietly, somewhat meeker than before, "will it hurt?"
"You? No...don't think of it as pain..."
She looked up at him, relieved and moved by the searing sincerity in his words but all she could do was blink up at him in dumb shock. He had changed once again and she didn't know how to react upon seeing his smooth, familiar and flawless face.
It was him.
He had transformed himself so seamlessly, so silently and easily. She reached out to touch the face of the man she loved and he stared down at her.
His eyes, those dark eyes she had gazed into a million times before still seemed to be pools of fire and heat.
"Elizabeth?"
"I'm sure" she whispered, knowing the question his murmur held.
"This means you're mine"
She interrupted him gently, "but I've been yours from the start"
She could feel her heart beating, thudding with anticipation and excitement, need and undeniable twinge of fear.
"I love you" he murmured, moving to kiss her gently, "don't be frightened"
"I trust you" she replied, hearing how small she sounded.
She meant it with all of her heart though it was impossible not to be a little scared, a little fearful.
From sad to exuberant, cold to warm, excited to nervous and now vulnerable in his arms, in the course of one short night she had felt it all.
And right then, she could feel the briefest, smallest ghost of a smile pass across his lips.
She closed her eyes, running her fingers upwards through his hair, marveling at the softness of it.
He was definitely a man of contrasts.
Soft, hard. Gentle, wild.
He deepened the kiss softly, his arms slowly wrapping around her. His body was still and cold, reminding her once again of what he was but it was welcome. She loved him, she loved what he was and despite the storm raging outside and the comfortable, pleasant warmth of the room, she suddenly found herself almost too hot.
She followed his movements, sinking into his arms as he moved her carefully to the floor, the skin of her back comfortably resting against the flag he had laid out.
"I didn't want a mate" he told her, breaking the kiss, his voice low.
"I know..." she told him in response, running her hands along his back, her nails gently gliding over his skin.
She had seen it, she had felt it.
Had had been distant, dismissive and sort of arrogant about it in the beginning. It seemed like his pack were more excited by the idea and she shifted her hips beneath him, his jeans feeling rough against her bare legs, "I saw it, remember?"
As his lips made their way delicately across her cheek and into her hairline, she gasped lightly, eyes fluttering.
It had been a long time, too long since they had really been together and in light of everything that had happened, she'd almost forgotten how tender he could actually be.
How soft he really was.
"Would you change it?" she asked him, her hands running up once again, moving deep into his hair.
"No. Never"
She couldn't help but curl her toes and arch into him as he whispered his words, his lips planting cool kisses over her thrumming pulse.
"You're my everything, Elizabeth"
As she curled her fingers against his scalp, she inhaled a gasp, eyebrows furrowing and eyes opening.
The pain.
He had changed so silently again.
He was the perfect predator and his bite was unmistakable, new though it was.
She cried out, a musical cry of surprise and shock, her back arching further into his chest.
She could feel his arms tighten around her, cradle her, comfort her and she held onto him desperately.
The pain was unimaginable, painful and sharp. It was a pain she had never felt before and, as she felt tears well in her eyes, she cried out once more.
It was a pain she wanted to feel over and over.
It was deep, intense and all consuming.
She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think.
All she could do was whimper desperately, her fingers digging deep into his scalp as she tried to pull him closer still.
It was everywhere and through the haze, she knew that the fire in his eyes had traveled.
It had moved.
He had ignited every single vein in her body, she could feel it pulsing through her.
The pain, it was so much, it was transcendent.
The bite, the searing heat of it, the intense burst of agony was so raw, so potent, that she could no longer call it pain.
It was pleasure.
Pure, unfiltered pleasure.
She would chase it forever.
She panted, moaning in desperation and need as he took his first taste.
"Please, Dwayne" she gasped, not knowing what she was begging for but knowing that she needed it.
She needed him.
She felt his head shift and sobbed a moan as his mouth left her neck.
"You're my mate" he all but growled, his voice raw and husky.
Through foggy eyes she looked up at him, seeing his true form.
"Yes" she agreed, her hands trailing down from his hair and to his neck, his shoulders, trying to pull him close to her once more, desperate to feel his blistering bite.
Her blood was lining his lips and his licked them once, somewhat distractedly but almost as if he didn't want to waste a single drop.
She thought she would cry under the intensity of it.
She was with him, she was with the real him and for the first time he could embrace it.
He could embrace what he was without fear.
"I'm your mate"
His words were possessive and strong, leaving no room for doubt or argument.
"Yes!" she cried out in a low, needful moan, trying to pull his body back to hers.
"Mine..." he kissed her, a brief meeting of lips that was so delicate she thought would explode.
It was too much.
The dominating, needful growl of his words, the feel of his lips and the light, metallic taste of her own blood.
She was his.
She would be his forever.
"I'm yours" she told him, pressing herself against him and looking into his eyes.
She didn't know if she could do it, she didn't know if she could last much longer. She didn't even know what she was hurtling towards but she needed it.
Using strength that she didn't know she was starting to lack, she pulled herself up from the ground, her nose almost touching his.
He was horrifying.
The punishing fire of his eyes, the darkness surrounding them.
It was breathtaking.
He was perfect.
A vampire, a monster, a demon from fairy tales. He was a killer and he was hers.
She would always be his.
She kissed him, feeling the tears fall from her eyes, feeling her panting, labored breaths.
She was his and she needed him.
She didn't know what to say, she didn't know how to make him bite her again but she was close to coming undone. As she brushed her lips against his, she commanded him, plead and begged him, her voice trembling with desire, "now claim me..."
She sobbed into the night with relief as he responded, his teeth sinking into the delicate, abused skin of her neck once more.