Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stomach Ache

Chapter 19

What would Draco Malfoy think of Harry's true backstory?

By

Jason Richard

And so Harry's first year of Hogwarts ended. All the students got ready to board the Hogwarts Express to go home. Well, most of them did. Harry felt like he was leaving his real home, and didn't look forward to going back to the Dursleys.

As he was preparing to board, however, he ran into someone who made leaving Hogwarts just a little bit of a relief.

Draco, "And there goes a big fat liar. Do you really expect people to believe you faced you know who in the third-floor corridor? It's about as phony a story as a baby beating him."

That made Harry angry, and he dropped his bags, turning to confront this blonde annoyance.

"Yeah," said Harry. "I did face him. And I'll admit, I didn't beat him as a baby."

Malfoy, "Hah!"

Harry, "My mother did."

Malfoy, "Huh?"

Harry, "After my father tried to keep Voldemort from getting to us my mother shielded me, not letting him past until he killed her, and her sacrifice protected me. It was her magic that beat Voldemort that night."

Draco, "Oh...So...why didn't your father's death make protective magic?"

Harry had to process that question for a moment, then he asked, "What?"

Draco, "If giving your life to protect someone makes special magic, why didn't that work for James Potter? Wouldn't he dying to protect his wife and child have cast protection magic over the both of them?"

Harry, "Huh...I don't know. Why do you ask?"

Draco, "Oh it's not like I'm curious or anything. I just like asking mean questions."

Harry, "Riiiiight. Well, I guess my father hoped to defeat Voldemort and survive, while my mother knew she was going to die. It was the deliberate sacrifice so that I could live that made that magic."

Draco, "So the ultimate magic that can defeat a dark lord is suicide?"

"She saved my life!" Harry said angrily. "What on earth is wrong with you?!"

Draco, "I'm a Slytherin."

Harry, "Oh...right...pure evil."

Draco, "And proud of it! And my parents are proud of that too...you know...the living ones?"

And Draco marched off with a smile on his face. Ron and Hermione quickly came up to Harry to comfort him.

Hermione, "Don't listen to him, Harry. Both your parents did everything they could to protect you."

Ron, "And even if it didn't work out perfectly, they were both awesome.

Harry nodded, saying, "Thanks."

As he picked up his luggage to board the train with them he did spare Malfoy one last thought. He hoped that jerk got some sort of comeuppance soon.

…

Draco Malfoy sauntered through the Hogwarts with that same grin he'd worn talking to Harry Potter, pleased with the burns he'd gotten on Lily and James Potter, and therefore Harry. He was feeling pretty pleased with himself.

That is until he sat down in his compartment and looked over to realize he wasn't alone.

Draco, "Professor Snape? What are you doing here?"

Snape, with an angry look on his face, "I heard what you said to Harry Potter...about Lily."

Draco, "Oh yeah that was great, comparing her noble and selfless sacrifice to suicide. Aren't I just your most brilliant student."

It was then that Draco noticed that Snape had his wand out, and was pointing it at Draco.

Snape, "You…" Snape said quietly, getting louder and louder as he kept speaking. "You...you...you've insulted her! You've insulted the most talented, kind, and beautiful woman who ever lived! And now…

"VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE!"

And Snape's wand crackled with electricity.

No one outside that compartment knew exactly what prompted it, but that day everyone aboard the Hogwarts express learned a very simple truth.

Draco Malfoy screamed like a little girl.

And as Harry Potter heard that divine sound in his compartment, he started to feel really good about things.

Harry, singing, "Oh what a beautiful moooooorning! Oh, what a beautiful daaaaaay! I've got a beautiful feeeeeeeling, everything's going my waaaaaaay!"

…

So Harry got off the platform and made it back to London station where Vernon Dursley waited for him holding something pink under his arm. Harry sighed and walked over, not at all anticipating the summer store for him.

Harry, "Hello Uncle Vernon."

Vernon Dursley didn't respond, but just glared at Harry...more than he usually did. It was at that moment that Harry realized what the pink thing was under Vernon's arm.

Harry, "That's a baby pig...is that Dudley? He's still a pig? Oh wow. Hagrid said that spell should only last a month or two...wait...Aunt Petunia should be here glaring at me for this as well. Where is she?"

Vernon, "Guess."

…

"NO!" cried Aunt Petunia as she was dragged away in a straight jacket to her room in the asylum, "THAT PIG IS MY SON TELL YOU! HE WAS TRANSFORMED BY A WIZARD! THAT PIG IS MY SON! LET ME OUT OF HERE! LET ME OUT OF HEEEEEEEEERRRE!"

…

Harry, "Oh...I see." Then Harry sighed and said, "This is going to be a long summer isn't it?"

And Vernon Dursley did the most terrifying thing he possibly could have done. He grinned, and said, "Oh yes"

…

So when Harry got home he went straight to his room...AKA the cupboard under the stairs where Vernon had moved his stuff back too. Harry sat there in that incredibly cramped space and sighed.

"Yep," he said. "This is going to be a very...very...very long summer."

...

...

Next Week:

What did Voldemort do directly after losing the Philosopher's Stone?

And to all the people who may have laughed at this, thanks so much for reading! You're all awesome!