Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stomach Ache
Epilogue
Voldemort's Boggart
By
Jason Richard
Legend has it the position of defense against the dark arts teacher is a cursed one. Every year for over a decade Hogwarts has had to replace the teacher in that post. Students have just gotten used to getting a new teacher every year. What people didn't know for certain was that the position really was cursed. A certain Dark Lord (that you may have heard of) placed a sort of curse on that position ever since he applied for it and was denied all those years ago. The curse took the form of a boggart that appeared at the end of term to scare the new teacher away.
This year the boggart was in an unfortunate position. Technically one man had been the defense against the dark arts teacher, and the boggart was prepared to take the form of a puppy with piranha teeth to scare him off. Unfortunately, that man was dead, meaning the boggart couldn't complete the function left by its master.
Except...that another man had sort of been teacher this year. Voldemort, attached to Quirrell's head, had been correcting the man all year, so in a funny way, he'd gotten his wish to be the teacher. The boggart could complete its purpose.
It just had to go after the one who had given it this purpose in the first place.
...
Voldemort wandered through The Dark Forest, little more than a bodiless spirit, a dark, shadowy face just drifting through the night. He was tired, alone, and greatly frustrated. And yet at the same time, he was elated. He had lost the Philosopher's Stone, this was true.
But he had lost Quirrell as well.
Voldemort, "Finally, no more stupidity, no more botched plans, and no more whining about Piranha Puppies! I'm so happy I almost don't mind that I lost my chance at being properly alive again!"
And it was then that Voldemort sensed something approaching, something dark. Something that preyed on the fears of those who beheld it.
And when Voldemort realized it was a boggart approaching him, he could have burst out laughing. This was the terror that was coming for him? Surely it was no threat to Voldemort, who knew no fear. In fact, he realized it was the very boggart he had set at Hogwarts all those years ago to scare away potential Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers! Why that meant it considered him as such! And he had been correcting Quirrell all year, so he practically had been. That was a victory in of itself. Surely there was nothing that could ruin even this meager victory. He had absolutely nothing to fear.
And no matter what those hacks in the Daily Prophet said, Dumbledore was not the only wizard Voldemort ever feared. The Dark Lord feared nothing! So he welcomed this creature to try and frighten him.
And when the creature came into view it took the last shape he expected. The boggart looked like a young woman, not very attractive, and dressed in dirty, torn rags. The very sight of this woman made the Dark Lord feel cold. Voldemort would have swallowed nervously if he still had a throat.
Voldemort, "M...Mommy?"
"Yes tom," said the young woman. "It's me."
Voldemort, "No...no get back…"
"My son," she said.
Voldemort, "No...get away!"
"My precious Tom," she continued.
Voldemort, "No! Don't say it!"
"Tom," she said sweetly. "I love you."
Voldemort, "Noooooooooo! Not the power of loooooooooove!"
Then Dumbledore stepped out from behind a tree and said, "Hah! I knew it!"
…
…
End part one, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's/Philosopher's Stomach Ache
Tune in (Er...log in) next week for the beginning of part two. Harry Potter and the Room of Things No one Knows About.