Harry Potter and the Room of Things no one Knows About

Chapter 1

What if Dobby was a little cleverer?

By

Jason Richard

Harry Potter was let out of the cupboard under the stairs and back into a proper room after Dudley turned back into a human and Petunia was let out of the mental hospital. (Insert book 1 recap here) Vernon Dursley was getting ready to close a business deal with someone and was presenting his wife and son at his house. Harry was sent upstairs for no other reason than they didn't want their guest to find that they used to keep a boy in the cupboard under the stairs. Most people would find such an arrangement quite questionable.

I mean seriously, who does that?

Harry went into his room, however, to find a very strange creature standing on his bed. It was a grey creature the size of a small child with floppy, pointed ears, and a long nose. Also, it wore a pillowcase, which Harry thought was weird. As Harry looked on, astonished, the creature just smiled and bowed.

"Harry Potter," it said. "Such an honor it is."

"Who are you?" asked Harry.

"I am Dobby," said Dobby. "Dobby the house elf. And I've come with a grave warning. Harry Potter must not return to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year. Terrible things are about to happen. A plot has been hatched, and evil plot of terrible proportions. I mean you just wouldn't believe..."

Harry, "I get it, bad things. Right. So what bad things are we talking about?"

Dobby, "I can't tell you."

Harry, "Who's plotting them?"

Dobby, "I can't tell you."

Harry, "How do you know about this plot?"

Dobby, "I can't tell you."

Harry, "Why must I not go to Hogwarts?"

Dobby, "Because you're in grave and terrible danger."

Harry, "From what?"

Dobby, "I can't tell you."

Harry, "Well you're just a bundle of information, aren't you? Okay, just...just sit down and we'll..."

"Sit...sit down?" said Dobby, tears forming in his eyes, and moments later he was full out sobbing.

Harry. "Uh...what did I say?"

"I'm sorry sir," said Dobby, wiping his tears on the pillowcase he wore. "Dobby has never been asked to sit down by a wizard before...like an equal. Usually, I get told to fetch something...like a slave."

"You must have met some horrible wizards," said Harry.

"You've no idea," said Dobby. Suddenly Dobby realized what he said and sighed. "Oh dear. Now I have to punish myself."

Harry, "I'm sorry?"

"No," said Dobby. "I just spoke ill of the wizarding family I'm sworn to obey for life. Now I must punish myself. The wizarding family I serve makes me do the most horrible things to myself."

Harry, "That's terrible! What sort of things do they make you do? Knock your head on things? Iron your own hands? Dunk your own head in the toilet?"

Worse," said Dobby. "Dobby must...must...must compliment the young master of the house…With...Without throwing up!"

Harry had to take that in for a second, then he said, "That's it?"

"Trust me," said Dobby. "If you knew him you'd understand why that's so hard. As far as my punishment goes It's either complementing the young man or hitting myself over the head with a hammer." after a pause, Dobby said, "Say, do you have a hammer I could borrow?"

"Uh…" said Harry. "No. Um, listen...I have to go back to Hogwarts, even if it is dangerous. Hogwarts is my home, more so than this place. It's where I'll see my friends again."

"Friends that don't even write to Harry Potter?" asked Dobby, a mischievous gleam in his eye.

Harry's eyes, meanwhile, narrowed.

"My friends haven't been writing to me," said Harry suspiciously. "That is true. How would you know about that? Eh Dobby?"

Dobby backed away nervously, saying, "Now Harry Potter must not be angry with Dobby."

Harry, "That implied a reason Harry would be angry with Dobby. Wouldn't it?"

"Well," said Dobby nervously, pulling a stack of letters out of the pillowcase he wore. "Dobby knew it was dangerous for Harry Potter to return to Hogwarts, and thought that maybe he wouldn't want to go if he thought his friends had forgotten about him."

Harry, "So you stole my letters and stuffed them in that pillowcase of yours? Give them back right..."

Suddenly something very disturbing occurred to Harry.

"Dobby," said Harry. "You were keeping those letters in that pillowcase you're wearing. Are you...wearing anything else under it? Anything at all?"

Dobby, "Nope. Not even underwear."

Harry, "Keep the letters. They're yours now. I don't care what they say. I don't even like them anymore. I hate Ron and Hermione and never want to see them again. You hear me? I hate them and never want to see them again. In fact, I'll never go to Hogwarts again!" And he started laughing nervously.

Dobby regarded Harry for a moment, then said, "I don't believe you."

He snapped his fingers.

Something went smash the other room.

Vernon Dursley, "HARRY POTTER!"

Harry, "YOU LITTLE RAT!"

But Dobby disappeared with a crack, and Harry was forced to explain to Vernon Dursley what had happened. Poor Harry got locked in his room with bars on the windows. It seemed like he wouldn't be going to Hogwarts after all.

Dobby, however, wasn't convinced. He needed one last trump card to make certain Harry wouldn't go, and fortunately, he'd managed to prepare it.

…

Harry lay in his bedroom, brooding on how horrible his life was when he heard something out the window. He crawled over and pulled the blinds open to see a strange sight. There was a car flying next to the window with three red-headed Weasleys inside.

"Heya Harry," said Fred. "We've come to rescue you."

"Couldn't let some muggle keep you lock up," said George.

Harry, who at first was happy to see the three Weasleys, realized that while Fred and George were grinning Ron was scowling. Anger was written all over his face.

"What's the matter Ron?" asked Harry, confused.

Much to Harry's concern the twins both started giggling and Ron pulled out the last thing Harry expected him to. A tape recorder.

"Got this from a house elf," said Ron, stills scowling.

He pressed the recorder's play button, and Harry's voice came from the recorder, saying, "I hate Ron and Hermione and never want to see them again."

Harry, "THAT LITTLE RAT!"

And at that moment, Dobby was saying, "I'm a genius!"