Alec finds Jace in his room right after the incident with Clary and him. Yes, this has to do with the show. I don't like the show or much of the casting but hey, I like this premise of emotion between Alec and Jace. Please review. You can give suggestions if you want! Thanks!

"Jace?" Alec asks. The older boy walks into the room with a protective layer of fear over his entire body. He spent the last hour convincing Magnus that he wasn't going to die and finally consoling him when he really broke down. But he knows that his need to fix the men in his life will not stop with his boyfriend tonight. Jace is in too much pain for him to ignore it. He can feel it in his bones.

When he enters the room, Jace is on his bed with his head in his hands. Alec closes the door behind him and steps into the dimly lit tragedy that is Jace's room. Pictures of Clary are all over the floor. There is broken wood splashed against the bed frame and a few random objects that Jace must have thrown around.

"Jace?" Alec asks in a tone so deep and serious, he scares even himself. This time Jace does look up but won't turn to Alec. He rushes to the window, looking out of it and putting his hands closer to his face. Alec tries to look at him, to see what he must be hiding but Jace refuses to turn around, even when his parabatai's hand reaches his shaking shoulder.

He is in nothing more than a grey tank top and dark pants. His blades are sitting around his room. He doesn't even have his shoes on. He was clearly upset and just trying to go to sleep. Obviously, that did not work out.

"Come on, Jace. It's just me," Alec begs.

"I'm glad you're okay, Alec. Izzy told me you were but I just want to be alone right now," Jace says. His voice doesn't sound as terrible and broken as Alec had expected it to. Instead, it sounds hidden, as if he is hiding something very important from Alec. But he can feel it. The thing that is wrong that is twisting Jace into something terrible that is filled with fear. It is twisting Alec too.

"Jace," Alec says, putting his hand to his shoulder. Jace doesn't try to move away. "I just want to talk to you. I've been talking to Magnus and to Izzy and even to Clary." At her name, Jace's breath hitches, as if holding back a sob. Alec closes his eyes, wanting to slap himself for saying her name but then he thinks on it. He should talk about her. He should let Jace grieve her. He won't grieve her with anyone else.

"I talked to everyone but the one person I really wanted to talk to. Jace, I wanted to talk to you. I missed you. I was scared for you. I wanted to know what was going on. I just…Jace, please. I'm your brother and your parabatai. Just talk to me. You're the only one I really want right now."

Jace turns around. His eyes are filled with water and his face is red from holding his breath. His cheeks are flushed and his mouth is pulled into a painful expression. He holds his hand out. Alec takes it and pulls his brother into a very tight hug. Finally, after so much pain and so much time, they can both let it all go.

They cry.

Neither think about what it means to themselves. They only cry for the other person. Jace cries for the pain Alec felt when he was alone. Alec cries for the terror Jace felt when he had to stab him. Jace cries for Alec thinking he would never have his brother back. Alec cries for Jace having to be trapped in the head of another.

They cry.

They hold each other and let everything go. Alec had never heard Jace cry like this before. He knew that he held a lot in but this feels terrifying. Jace doesn't decide to hold anything back. He wants to feel it all because he deserves that much. When he was inside of the owl, never able to do what he really wanted or needed, he grew more desperate over time. Now that he is out, he feels like him but also like someone else.

"I could feel what I did, Alec," he admits. "When I was stabbing you, I could feel it. I could see what he was doing. It was so much torture, Alec. It was so bad."

"I know, Jace," Alec says, sniffling and leaning back. He tries to pull away but Jace pulls him back, yanking on his body and keeping them close in their hug. Alec puts his head down on his brother, letting himself rest there.

"It's okay. I've got you."

"I am so sorry, Alec. I hurt you. I hurt Magnus, therefor hurting you again. I taunted you. The things that he said…he was using my memories to make fun of you, to get to me and to you. He knew how to hurt me and by the angel, Alec. He hurt me so bad."

"Sh, Jace." Alec squeezes him a little tighter, wishing there was a rune to talk his mental anguish and pain away. He longs for a rune like that but can't think of anything to help him other than his words. They have to talk about it. "The owl said…your…"

"Your boys crying, you know?" Jace finishes.

Alec nods.

Finally, Jace lets go a little bit and wipes his face off, looking to Alec and taking a deep breath to calm himself enough to talk.

"I was," he agrees. "I tried not to. I didn't want to give him that satisfaction but it hurt so bad. I tried so many times to end it, Alec. I tried to kill myself so many different ways and it never worked. When you came, I thought she was going to have me kill you."

"I know. It wasn't you that tried to hurt me, Jace."

"Before that," Jace says. "When you were in my head. When you found me. She had me kill you once before. When I saw you again, I didn't know what to do. I thought that if I killed you, I wouldn't be able to go on. To feel my rune ache, to feel our link get sick and die. Alec…"

Alec grabs Jace's arm before he loses his balance. He looks awful. He looks about ready to break again. He brings him over to the bed and sits down with him, helping Jace lean back but never losing their link, always bonded.

"Right now, every time you're hurt, I can feel it," Jace says. "It's like our bond is electrified. I can feel everything you can feel."

"I know," Alec says with a small nod, squeezing his parabatai's hand. "I can too. It might've been because our link was in so much pain. We were both hurting so badly. It's healing us together."

Jace nods, liking that answer. Maybe he will heal and things will be better. Maybe he won't hurt so damn much all the time. Maybe he'll feel better. Maybe he can go on without her.

Without even thinking her name, an image of Clary goes into his mind. It's so powerful and terrifying that tears fall from his eyes. He quickly turns his head away from Alec and wipes his face off. But Alec smiles a little, slightly amused by his poor attempt to hide his emotions.

"Jace. I can feel it too. There's no point in doing that right now," he says. Jace nods, looking back at Alec, hating it but knowing that it's true.

"I'll stay here for a while," Alec promises.

"I missed you, brother," Jace says, putting his arm out to Alec.

"Missed you too."