Harry Potter and the Room of Things no one Knows About

Chapter 12

By

Jason Richard

The next victim of the creature from the chamber was a boy named Colin Creevey, a boy who went around with a camera for the school newspaper, annoying people with a flash of blindness. He was found petrified with the camera in front of his face. He had often followed Harry around and annoyed him quite a bit.

"Wait," said Ron as the three of them walked through the Hogwarts hallways. "If Colin followed Harry around, why hasn't he been mentioned yet?"

Hermione: "The writer of this fanfic forgot to write him in."

Ron: "Again? What's with that guy!"

With the danger of the beast mounting the need to make polyjuice potion and find the heir in Slytherin was growing. Unfortunately, they would have to steal the ingredients from Snape, and that was a dangerous prospect for a couple of Gryffindors. Still, Harry set off a firecracker in class while Hermione snatched the ingredients. Snape was furious.

He pulls pranks exactly like his no-good father, James! Snape thought bitterly. I just know he's going to become a horrible man!

"I ought to expel you Potter!" said Snape.

Harry, not wanting to cause a scene now that Hermione was back, said, "Sorry professor."

"Very good," said Snape.

He says sorry just like his perfect mother, Lily! Thought Snape happily. I just know he'll become a great man!

But that was a minor footnote compared to what happened later.

With Gilderoy Lockhart.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" said Gilderoy loudly. "Welcome to the Hogwarts Dueling club!"

In the great hall where this event was taking place, the many students shouted, "Yeah!"

"And here's my assistant, Severus Snape."

Students: "Boooooooo!"

Snape: "Silence!"

Gilderoy, laughing nervously, said, "Due to the recent attacks, Dumbledore himself has authorized this little dueling club. I'm here to train you up so that you can handle any magical attacker that...uh...attacks."e

His smile never faltered.

"Also," said Snape. "I do not want another fiasco like at the Quidditch grounds. No bug belching hexes."

Students: "Boooooooo!"

Snape: "Silence! Malfoy! Potter! Get dueling!"

Harry's thoughts: He's probably rooting for Malfoy.

Draco's thoughts: He's totally rooting for me.

Snape's thoughts: I'm totally rooting for Harry!

Harry and Malfoy faced each other. The fight didn't last long, however. Malfoy quickly used a spell that summoned a snake. This was bad form for a duel as it was potentially a lethal spell, though in this case, it was rather distressing for the snake that had been randomly summoned into existence.

Snake, "Ah! What's happening, who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I? What do I mean by what's my purpose in life? What's going on!"

Harry: "And now the writer of this fanfic is stealing from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. And don't call it an homage writer, I'm on to you!"

"Harry?" asked a boy called Justin Finch-Fletchley. "You can understand snake speech?"

Hermione's thoughts: Please don't be stupid enough to answer that.

Harry: "Well yeah."

Hermione: "Doggone it Harry!"

Justin: "It's the heir of Slytherin! Run for your Lives!"

The great hall was cleared in minutes as screaming students left the room, leaving Harry, Ron, and Hermione, as well as a confused Lockhart and exasperated Snape.

"What was that about?" asked Harry.

"Slytherin could talk to snakes," said Hermione. "And it's hereditary."

Harry: "Why am I the last to know these things?"

Ron: "Well if you already knew this stuff then other characters couldn't explain it to you and therefore explain it to the audience."

Harry: "Curse you convenient storytelling tricks!"