Harry Potter and the Room of Things no one Knows About
What if Myrtle saw Hermione's condition a little earlier?
Chapter 14
By
Jason Richard
The polyjuice potion was finally ready. The trio could now sneak into the Slytherin common room to spy on Draco Malfoy. They just needed to get Crabbe and Goyle's hair and add it to the potion. Hermione already had a hair she'd taken from a Slytherin girl. Harry and Ron floated a pair of cupcakes laced with sleeping draft in front of the idiotic Slytherins, and once were both knocked out the Gryffindor's hid them in the broom closet and took their haires. Now they were ready.
Now if only the potion didn't look like troll snot.
"Do we have to drink this?" asked Ron in disgust.
"Of course we do," said Hermione, though she was looking at the mixture with a sour face as well. We want to stop muggle-borns from getting petrified, don't we?"
"Well..." said Ron, sighing.
"Come on," said Harry. "Let's do this."
They drank the potion and then immediately regretted it. They all got nauseous and ran to a toilet to throw up. Each of them transformed. Harry turned into Goyle and Ron turned into Crabbe.
Hermione, on the other hand...
"I don't think I'm going," said Hermione, still hiding in the restroom cubicle. "Just go, there's no time to explain."
While the two boys were confused, they knew they were on a time limit and went to interrogate Malfoy. Hermione's transformation had gone pretty wrong. She hadn't gotten the hair of a Slytherin girl's. She'd gotten cat hair and now found herself covered in fur with two pointed ears atop her main of scraggly hair and a tail peeking out from her robes.
Hermione: "Oh dear, I hope no one sees me like this."
Moaning Myrtle: "Oh my! I'm so glad I got to see you like this!"
Hermione looked up to see Moaning Myrtle flying above her, and the poor girl's skin grew cold, even though it was covered in that fur. Curse that cat hair in her poly-juice potion!
"That's hilarious!" cried Myrtle. "Everyone's made fun of me because I'm ugly and I wear glasses, but now I get to make fun of someone else!"
Hermione: "Moaning Myrtle in a position to make fun of me? I didn't realize it was that bad!"
Myrtle: "Shut up! Now, let me think. Um..."
Hermione: "You know, if you have to think about it, it's automatically a bad quip."
Myrtle: "Shut up! I've got it. Uh...you're...you're lazy...because...you know...cat's sleep all day."
Hermione: "Wow, you're pretty bad at this aren't you?"
Myrtle: "Shut up!"
Hermione: "I mean seriously, is lazy all you can come up with?"
Myrtle: "Well...cat's don't give me much to work with! They're cute, they're snuggly, and they purr! How am I supposed to insult that?"
"Huh," said Hermione. "Maybe my condition isn't as bad as I thought."
"No no no!" cried Myrtle. "It's got to be utterly embarrassing! I know I wouldn't want to cough up all those hairballs myself."
Myrtle thought about it for a second.
Myrtle: "Oh, wait! Um...nice look, Hermione, you going to cough up some hairballs later?"
Hermione: "I think it's a bit late to change that to an insult..."
Myrtle: "Shut up!"
...
Meanwhile, Harry and Ron had interrogated Draco and found nothing. Draco expressed an interest in knowing who the heir of Slytherin was so he could help, but he wasn't the heir and had no idea who it was. Their Crabbe and Goyle disguises had failed to uncover anything.
As their disguises were fading and they ran out of the Slytherin common room before they were caught, they lamented their troubles.
"Well that was pointless," said Ron.
"I'll say," said Harry.
It was at that moment they stopped, as they saw Myrtle floating through the halls, and she was grimacing.
"Tell me how to insult people," Myrtle grumbled. "I'll tell you how to be a nerd you lousy...ugh!"
She floated past them, and the pair of boys raised their eyebrows in confusion.
"That was weird," said Ron.
"Not as weird as this," said Harry.
For of course Hermione had stepped out, looking very much like a cat. A very irritated cat too.
Ron: "Man, I do not envy the hairballs you're gonna throw up."
Hermione, "Shut up!"