Soul Society is a world frozen in time, unchanging and stagnating. For those who keep the order in this world, who slay monsters and enforce the law, their time for relaxation is a precious moment not to be wasted. There's plenty to do to unwind from a hard day's work: games, drink, reading, gardening, art.
But even the most steadfast Soul Reaper gets bored of playing the same board game for five thousand years. Perhaps that is why gossip and rumors are so prevalent, so exciting.
There are a handful of rumors about anyone and everyone going at any time. The higher up the rank a Soul Reaper goes, the more whispers are spoken behind their back.
Hisagi Shūhei is no exception. Since the moment the man had been brought into Seireitei over someone's shoulder, he's been the topic of much casual gossip. The speculation about the tattoo on his face is by far the most prevalent of the rumors.
(Is it a reference to a lost love? How many people he's killed? His gang name? No one asks him about it. That would spoil the fun.)
Or rather, Shūhei's tattoo had been the most prevalent rumor about the man. There is a new one making the rounds at lightning speed, one that makes many a romantic sigh with wistfulness.
Hisagi Shūhei, one of the most dedicated and responsible Soul Reapers, is in love with a human, one Kurosaki Ichigo, also known as chaos incarnate. It was love at first sight, only growing deeper as they got to know each other. Whether it is a mutual love or not depends on the rumor.
The point remains though; any relationship between the two is doomed from the beginning. They quite literally live in two different worlds.
The poor guy, people whisper into their drinks, glancing over their shoulder to the corner of the bar where Shūhei drinks all alone with a distant gaze, he must be suffering so much.
This is all, of course, bullshit. Hisagi Shūhei would rather date the captain of the 11th than date Kurosaki. At least with Kenpachi, he has a chance of not being dragged into Hell. His chance of dying is also slightly lower.
The rumors of forbidden love start like this:
Hisagi Shūhei is dragged kicking and screaming into the Academy. It isn't the first time a rough and biting brat from Rukongai is placed into the Academy, but this one gets the dubious honor of being too unsociable to make any kind of connections whatsoever.
Shūhei is as cuddly as a chestnut, his classmates say with humor, but as long as you don't step on him, he's fine.
The rumor mill loves to come up with various criminal pasts for Shūhei, but since all the man does is study and keep his head down—unless someone goes picking a fight, in which case Shūhei is more than happy to oblige—interest in him becomes as quiet as the man's social life.
Shūhei's reputation remains for a long time as thus: he's unfriendly, loves fighting, doesn't do jokes, and is content to be utterly alone.
Tōsen Kaname does not accept Hisagi's application at first. The only thing noted in Hisagi's report cards from the Academy is a recommendation for 11th division. Oddly enough, right under that recommendation is "banned from 11th division." This tells Tōsen everything and nothing at the same time.
Upon meeting in person, Tōsen is more than sure that his division has no need for Hisagi Shūhei. The man is violent, uncouth, blunt in the worst of ways, and lacking a sense of justice. He is unfit for 9th division. Tōsen's attempts to reject Hisagi are waylaid by what can only be called an accusation.
"I thought this division focused on being protectors," Hisagi says in that infuriatingly offhand manner. "I'm looking to get stronger by defending others. Guess any division could protect Seireitei though."
It is the way Hisagi says it, as if any other division can do what Tōsens' does—can shed the light of justice on Soul Society—that keeps him from dismissing him.
"What does being a protector mean to you?" Tōsen asks, damning himself in the process.
He can't see Hisagi, can't see how he stares at the ceiling as if lost in thought, but he can feel the way the Reiryoku around them seems to still and wait.
"I don't actually know what I'm supposed to say," Shūhei admits after the long silence. "Upholding Seireitei's laws to the best of my ability? That's a given. Those laws are there for a reason."
"But I could uphold laws anywhere. What I want to do is use my thirst for hurting others to, ah, not hurt others. I want to have something to come back to. To stop for. I want to have something to protect."
It's not the most eloquent speech, but it's real, spoken directly from the heart. It moves Tōsen just enough that he thinks there might be a way to fix Hisagi. If there truly is a desire to shed the worst of himself in the name of justice, then Tōsen's training program should get through to him.
("Captain, Hisagi's beating up members of 10th division again. Something about protecting our paperwork!" Fujita shouts, throwing the door to his office open.
"He was supposed to be studying the rulebook and writing a report on it," Tōsen says flatly.
"Oh, he finished that a long time ago," Amari speaks up from her desk where she's been reading the reports out loud. "He offered to go with Sawako to retrieve paperwork from 10th division since she was so distraught about it. Such a dear!"
"Ah," Fujita and Tōsen say to that.)
Not too long after Tōsen accepts Hisagi into his division, he comes to regret it. Hisagi does too if the way the man slams his head against his new desk is any indication, but there's simply no way to avoid giving Hisagi such a high rank as 5th seat.
Truthfully, Hisagi's too good to even remain as 5th seat for long. Strong, intelligent, rule-abiding and competent—Hisagi would have made a great lieutenant if he wasn't such a hardheaded brute who casually dismisses justice as unrealistic.
As it is, Tōsen doesn't want Hisagi anywhere near a true position of power. The lower ranks already look up to him too much as it is.
For the most part, rumors about Shūhei stick around 9th division, and it's only in whispers when his back is turned. Shūhei's unfriendly reputation carries over, but now the Soul Reapers add on that he's scary, unflappable in the face of getting yelled at by the captain, and ridiculously good at writing things that make complete sense while being as infuriating as possible.
Hisagi Shūhei is also a good nut underneath his spiky chestnut exterior. That one, a former classmate says one day while drinking, but the idea behind it sticks because Shūhei is actually pretty nice when they all begin thinking about it.
If someone has a problem, they can go to Shūhei who will fix it no questions asked—with a heavy sigh and a "Really?" but that's all—and if someone is unable to fight back because it doesn't quite fit the requirements of self-defense, Shūhei will roll up his sleeve and say, "Stop crying. I got this."
Of course, one can only keep sending so many people to the infirmary before other divisions start listening for a certain name. When 9th division realizes that they get more alcohol poured into their cup if they talk about their 5th seat, exaggerated stories of the God of Paperwork start circulating.
It's not the worst reputation to have spread to the rest of the divisions, but it does make a few captains give Shūhei considering glances. Tōsen has to give a few subtle threats more than once to avoid losing his best paper slave.
Aizen Sōsuke is not one of these captains thinking of poaching 9th division's 5th seat. No, at first, Hisagi Shūhei is nothing more than a face in the crowd. The Rukongai brat shows no real potential during Academy days, makes no connections with anyone, and shows no ambition beyond becoming an average grunt.
Hisagi isn't even worth being a pawn on this grand board he's set up. Aizen turns his eyes to the outstanding Academy students, to the ones with connections to the noble houses, to the friend of the friend that can influence without thought. He continues making his moves with his ever present smile fixed firmly in place.
He is almost surprised when Hisagi, uncultured Rukongai brat, ends up going into 9th division. There was no prior indication that Hisagi wanted to be anything but a brawler from the 11th, and Hisagi makes 5th seat only because Tōsen doesn't want him to become lieutenant.
The rate at which Hisagi learns and adapts is astounding for a Soul Reaper. Whatever he finds interesting, he learns until he's mastered it thoroughly, never taking the hundreds of years others would. He follows orders and patterns set out for him while poking at all the right places to change it just enough to suit his taste. It is solely the lack of motivation and ambition that stops Hisagi from being a step behind a prodigy.
The whole situation catches Aizen off-guard, and that is unacceptable.
He begins loading down Hisagi with paperwork and orders Tōsen to keep him chained to the desk all day, every day. He even makes a few messes to keep the 5th seat busy. Keeping an unpredictable pawn distracted is just good sense.
If he smiles smugly over a cup of tea while Hisagi wails as emergency paperwork gets hauled in by the barrel load, well—
He is a man that can find amusement in the pettiest of things.
And just like that, Hisagi Shūhei's reputation changes ever so slightly. He is prickly, but soft in his own way. He toes the line of delinquency but is the utmost responsible when it comes to his duties. He is The God of Paperwork, and those who mess up his domain intentionally deserve the beat down.
The one thing that doesn't change in the rumors spreading around is that he is still utterly alone.
Kurosaki Ichigo calls bullshit on that last one. At first, he doesn't know who Shūhei is when he slides into the boarded up alleyway to catch his breath. He doesn't care to know either when the only thing the Soul Reaper does is throw a first aid kit at his head.
("If you're not going to fight for Rukia who's innocent, then this is where you belong."
These are the words Ichigo wants to say, what reverberate through his soul. He doesn't say them in the end because the man sitting in front of him looks so tired, looks so unwell in a way Ichigo can't quite describe.
And well, he supposes not fighting in a military dictatorship is fighting in of itself.)
It's only when the Soul Reaper appears to save him from Tōsen that Ichigo realizes that this is a man worth knowing. Stabbed and thrown off a cliff, he thinks the worst until he sees the man lying on a stretcher; a healer hurls curses down at the unmoving body which means he's fine. Probably.
But it's unbelievable that Ichigo has to ask three separate people just to find out his name. Hisagi Shūhei. That's the man who said he couldn't fight but came running to save Ichigo anyway. He'll remember it.
Ichigo is forced to stay in the 4th division infirmary even though he is fine—no, really, stop with the bandages—and there isn't a whole lot to do other than to talk and read. Renji doesn't know much about Shūhei, but there turns out to be a lot of rumors attached to Shūhei's name once he finds the right people.
Responsible. Serious. Unfriendly. Beats up people. God of Paperwork. Always alone.
Yeah, no. Shūhei isn't alone in the slightest. There's a freaking murderous Zanpakuto inside his head that tells him to do things. He doesn't know how Seireitei missed that one, but they better thank their lucky stars that Shūhei's a good person.
The Zanpakuto explains a great deal about Shūhei's violent reputation despite his reluctance to actually fight.
Shūhei also isn't unfriendly so much as he is socially awkward. Worse than Ishida by far. Hundreds of years alone with a sword spirit screaming murder inside his head probably didn't help. Ichigo can barely tolerate his inner Hollow screaming; imagining Old Man Zangetsu doing it too terrifies him.
Ichigo can honestly relate to Shūhei from the way they've both been type casted against their will, to the screaming spirit inside them wanting to hurt, to the insane urge they have to protect. It's like looking at himself in a weird, warped way.
Perhaps that's why they get as close as they do, why Ichigo looks for Rukia and Renji first, then Shūhei second.
Of course, that's when those weird rumors about the two of them start.
It's not any one person's fault. Someone makes an offhand remark, another person repeats it. Someone else decides to embellish a reaction Shūhei made to something Ichigo did, and then it takes off like wildfire.
The forever alone Shūhei—the prickly, bristly Shūhei who drinks by himself—has finally fallen. Why else would he forsake the duty entrenched into his very being? To go against his captain for some weird human in Soul Reaper skin? No one else can get a reaction out of Shūhei like Ichigo can. The way his eyes glint every time Ichigo's name is mentioned—it must be love.
That also explains why he doesn't react to Rangiku's breasts. Clearly, he's gay.
(He's actually demi-sexual, but asexuality isn't something well-known in Soul Society. Not that this rumor is the one Shūhei would be most upset about.)
To be fair, the rumors become so convincing even Muguruma Kensei believes them. Most of the captains already believe in it before the rumor comes into its crescendo, which in turn, causes the newly reinstated captains to completely accept the idea that Shūhei is in a relationship—or at least love—with Kurosaki Ichigo.
It's Kensei who keeps Shūhei from being targeted by mischievous Visored captains and lieutenants wanting to put him to the test for Ichigo's sake. To them, Shūhei is a Soul Reaper whose worth is unknown, but to Kensei, Shūhei's still the kid he saved from the scary monsters all those years ago.
So he'll keep protecting his new lieutenant for as long as possible even if those monsters now look an awfully lot like Shinji.
Ichigo will also probably tear them all a new one if they mess with his boyfriend. The guy seems like the protective type. So, in a weird way, he's also protecting Shinji from the monster known as Ichigo.
He just has to keep telling himself it will all blow over soon even as he keeps breaking his office out of anger.
("Hahaha, ow, my sides hurt," Mashiro continues to slap the desk as she gasps for breath. "Who knew clown-face had it in him?"
He scowls at the disciplinary report. It calls for punishment for 9th division's Hisagi Shūhei to be overseen by Captain Kurotsuchi Mayuri. It's for destroying valuable equipment. That was stored in 5th division. Where Shūhei hasn't been near because something about 5th division spooks him.
Thinking on it, Shinji did have a recent meeting in 12th division, but even he wouldn't be heartless enough to send the kid to Mayuri of all people. The 12th division captain must be trying to kill two birds with one stone: pin the blame on Shinji and take the God of Paperwork for himself.
He doesn't know who started that goddamn rumor, but it's driving him crazy. How the hell did Tōsen keep Shūhei from getting kidnapped?
"Mashiro, lose this one like the rest," he orders, holding out the report.
"Burn, burn, burn!" Mashiro chants, snatching the paper.
The lieutenant is talking about the report of course. Mashiro has fun destroying every "lost" report; she tends to blow them up in spectacular ways. This time even the ashes catch on fire. It gives him an idea on how to deal with 12th division.
"Can't poach other's lieutenants if your division's on fire. Not a bad idea," he nods, fiddling with his Zanpakuto.
It's the Hollow in his head that laughs back.)
The headache of keeping Shūhei around—which is all thanks to others despite what rumor says—is worth it. All the paperwork is done and filed correctly, it's true, but more than anything, the kid cares.
Shūhei doesn't know everyone's names, doesn't even try to learn them, but he works himself to the bone trying to put 9th division back together after the mess Tōsen made. He looks at each Soul Reaper and figures out what they need.
It's thanks to Shūhei's patient, hard work that these weaklings find their inner strength to keep getting back up. It's amazing considering Kensei's own recommendation would be to scrap each and every one of these brainwashed stooges.
Shūhei is a protector to his bones. 9th division already had a guardian watching out for it long before Kensei came back. He doesn't know why no one else sees that, or they'd know Shūhei would never leave the division.
He's going to have to take drastic measures to get it through to the others that they can't have Shūhei.
But the kid needs to learn to protect himself. No one will be able to mess with him once he learns Bankai. The first step to achieve that is training. Which gets real weird, real fast.
("Harder," Shūhei chokes as Kensei punches him into the ground. "Do it harder."
"You'll break if I do it any harder than this," Kensei says, voice distorting slightly.
"Don't care. Make me bleed," Shūhei grins with a wild look in his eyes.
When Kensei doesn't so much as move, Shūhei throws Kazeshini's chains around the back of Kensei's neck and pulls him in close to bite him. It is the first and last time Kensei underestimates Shūhei.
A strong hit knocks out Shūhei quickly, leaving Kensei to rub his neck with a wince. Alright, so Shūhei's warnings about bloodlust beforehand were greatly understated. He'll have to keep that in mind for next time.
He frowns. For a second there, the violence emitting from Shūhei felt similar to a Hollow's. His own inner Hollow nearly came to the surface to answer it. He casts an uneasy look down at Shūhei's body. Without realizing it, he shivers.)
It's not the last time Shūhei's actions leave him feeling uncertain. Sometimes he thinks the lieutenant is flirting with him, but the moment Kensei stares a little too long after an off remark or smile, Shūhei very quickly turns sour.
Little things add up over time—buying him his favorite drink, leaning in a little too close, the blushing—but every time he thinks he's got tangible proof, Shūhei bristles up like a cat whose tail was stepped on.
At some point, Kensei, does in fact, get scratched. Mashiro applies the bandages to his arm while laughing. He can't figure out if Shūhei likes or hates him. Or hates that he likes him.
("You're not going crazy," Mashiro says, patting him on the top of his head.
Kensei stares at her blankly. His paperwork he'd gone to sleep dreading has already been filled out and stacked correctly. Next to it is a cup of tea that Shūhei knows he hates. It stinks up his entire office.
"Little Shūhei is just high maintenance," Mashiro says airily, still patting him.
"That's rich coming from you," he says irritably.)
Whatever is going on, it's trouble. It'd be very bad if Shūhei decides to cheat on Ichigo. He doesn't think he can protect Shūhei from all of Soul Society.
He needs to get the lieutenant down to the human world and fast.
But while he's doing that, it can't hurt to show everyone what happens when they try to take away what's his.
"Mashiro, get the procedures for civil war out. We're cleaning house," Kensei says firmly.
"To war!" Mashiro grins, plopping an old human war helmet onto her head.
...
Soon after dealing with Yhwach, rumors go around stating that Hisagi Shūhei is an unknown piece of the Soul King come to life. That he can reap death itself. Those rumors quickly get overshadowed by rumors that someone saw Captain Muguruma kissing his lieutenant in a bar.
Shūhei's reputation from there evolves into something straight out of a drama series, but that's what happens when one Kurosaki Ichigo tears down 9th division by accident while trying to rope Shūhei into something stupid.