Harry Potter and the Room of Things no one Knows About

Chapter 18

What if Lockhart's Charm erased just a little bit more?

By

Jason Richard

"I'm out of here!" said Lockhart, recklessly throwing things into his suitcase from his office. "I'm out of here as fast as I can! I didn't sign up to fight monsters! I signed up to teach about monsters I've never fought before! This is so stupid! How can they expect the defense against the dark arts teacher to defend against dark arts?! What do they think I am, a baby with a lightning bolt on his forehead?!"

Lockhart closed the suitcase and turned around to see Harry and Ron with their wands pointed at him.

"Going somewhere?" asked Harry.

"Oh please," said Lockhart, rolling his eyes with a grin. "Second years don't know any dangerous spells."

"No," said Harry. "But I know how to turn your hair green."

Ron: "And I know one to turn that Witch-Weekly awarded smile into a permanent frown."

Lockhart got very serious.

Lockhart: "You wouldn't dare. I'd look terrible on a magazine cover like that!"

Harry and Ron grinned, saying, "Try us."

Lockhart: "Who even taught you spells like that."

Harry: "You did. You said turning a redcap's hair green could make it run away and that a grinning ghoul would explode if forced to frown for too long."

"Oh," said Lockhart, swallowing nervously, "Okay then. What now? Exactly what misadventure have I been roped into?"

Ron: "Well first we go to the girl's bathroom."

Lockhart: "That…sounds rather incriminating."

Ron: "Just get moving!"

…

They made it to the girl's bathroom and found Moaning Myrtle doing exactly what her name implied. She saw Harry, Ron herd Lockhart in on pain of unfashionability, and got curious.

"What do you want?" asked Myrtle.

"We've come to ask you how you died," said Harry.

Myrtle became upset.

"How could you ask that so casually?" she asked, crossing her arms. "Didn't it occur to you that my death could have been horrific? That I wouldn't want to remember the pain and the agony of that day? Do you think I want to remember being torn limb from limb and swallowed by a giant monster?"

Ron: "Were you."

Myrtle hesitated, then said, "Well no, I died quite painlessly, but it could have been painful. So there."

Harry: "Myrtle please, it's really important."

"I don't know how it happened," said Myrtle. "I saw a pair of big yellow eyes by that sink and the next moment was dead."

They found the sink, which had a snake engraved into the faucet.

"You'd think someone would have noticed that," said Ron.

Harry spoke parcel tongue and suddenly the sinks floated away to reveal a dark passageway that you got into by sliding down.

"Well," said Lockhart. "Not that this isn't fun, but I must be…"

Ron pushed him.

Lockhart: "GOOOOOIIIIIIIING!"

Harry: "Nicely done."

Ron: "Thank you."

And they jumped in after him.

…

They found themselves in an underground passage, the floor covered in bones. They traveled in silence, feeling fear of the beast that stalked through these tunnels. Eventually, they came across something that looked remarkably like a giant snake but was just the leftovers from when the basilisk last shed its skin.

Lockhart, it seemed, got incredibly sick from this.

"You okay?" asked Ron.

But Lockhart quickly grabbed Ron's wand and pointed it at the two boys, a maniacal grin on his face.

"Hah!" said Lockhart. "You fell for it! Prepare to lose your memories! Oblivi…"

Harry: "BASILISK!"

Lockhart: "WHERE?!"

KABOOM!

Lockhart was thrown backward as his unfinished spell backfired. The impact, unfortunately, knocked some rocks down from the ceiling, separating Harry and Ron. They tried to shift some rocks, but they were completely cut off from each other.

"I'll go on ahead," said Harry.

Ron reluctantly agreed. It was at that moment that Lockhart got up and looked around, rather confused.

"Hello," said Lockhart. "I can't seem to remember who I am…or what I am…or where we are…or what anything is. What's that?"

Ron, feeling a little uncomfortable, looked at where Lockhart was pointing and said, "A rock."

Lockhart: "Oh. And what's that?"

Ron: "A wall."

Lockhart: "Oh. And what's that?"

Ron: "My Robes."

Lockhart: "Oh. And what's this?"

Ron: "Your robes."

Lockhart: "Oh. And what's that?"

Ron: "That's it, I'm outta here!"

Ron ran off, and Lockhart chased after him.

Lockhart: "Wait! I have so many more things to ask what they are! Hey! What's this thing we're doing with our legs to make us go so fast! This is fun!"

Ron: "Would you please shut up!"

Lockhart: "Shut up? What's that mean?"

Ron: "GAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"