Harry Potter and the Poodle of Magic Alcatraz

Chapter 3

What if students misunderstood what dementors were?

By

Jason Richard.

In the great hall of Hogwarts, as the feast was about to begin, Draco Malfoy taunted Harry.

"You fainted on the train?" Asked Malfoy. "You actually fainted?"

"No," said Harry crossly, trying to enjoy his dinner in peace. "I didn't faint..."

"Harry!" Cried Neville suddenly. "I heard you fainted too!"

Malfoy burst into laughter, "So only the pathetic ones fainted? That's great!"

Harry glared at Neville, who backed away slowly and nervously.

Next, Dumbledore approached to make his speech for the year. He seemed more...serious than normal. He wore a deep frown, and his eyes pierced the soul with a warning of danger to come.

"Students," said Dumbledore. "I'm certain you've already heard that the dangerous criminal, Sirius Black, has escaped from Azkaban. Unfortunately, there is some...concern that he'll try to infiltrate Hogwarts, so the ministry of magic is sending...agents...here...in order to capture him. These...agents wear dark cloaks, and under those cloaks are the vilest, most terrible creatures that suck the very happiness from a person's soul."

"Used Car salesmen?" One student offered, opening the floodgates.

"Lawyers?"

"Politicians?"

"Internet trolls?"

"Slytherins?"

"Mudbloods?"

KABOOM! A dozen wands send the owner of that last guess flying and screaming through the air before crashing through a window and soaring all the way to the black lake where the giant squid grabbed him with a tentacle and dragged him under.

Dumbledore: "Well apart from that last suggestion those were all great guesses. But no, what rests underneath the black cloaks are non-other than the dementors of Azkaban."

Murmurs filled the room as students found themselves shocked. Many of them had at least heard of dementors, even if they knew little about them. Many were already frightened.

"They're bringing those evil things here?" said Harry. "That's insane!"

"How do you know they're evil?" said Draco snarkily. "They might be quite pleasant under those cloaks."

Harry: "Their name sounds like DEMENTED! You could wear a sign that literally says, 'I'm Evil,' and it wouldn't say they're evil as much as calling them Dementors!"

Dumbledore: "Children, children, settle down, it's not all bad. I argued with the Minister quite strongly about this. They will guard the perimeter of the grounds, but will not be let inside."

Most of the students let out a sigh of relief, including many of the Slytherins, which the Gryffindor's found surprising.

"But have a care," said Dumbledore. "Do not approach the Dementor's under any circumstances, and make every effort to stay out of their way. It is not in the nature of a Dementor...to be forgiving."

Many students swallowed nervously, while Harry glanced around his table and said, "See? Pure evil."

Many kids nodded to that.

...

Later the trio also found that Hagrid would be a teacher now. Specifically, he would be the care of magical creatures teacher. They all congratulated him and were excited until they realized he would bring dangerous animals to class. That made them a little nervous.

Anyway, they made it to the Gryffindor common room, as Harry lay in his bed, ready to go to sleep, he felt content.

He was home at last.

Hermione: "NO RON I WILL NOT FORWARD YOU MY HOMEWORK! YOU HAD ALL SUMMER TO DO YOURS!"

Ron: "Oh come on Hermione! Just this once?! I'll do better next time!"

Percy: "FRED AND GEORGE DON'T YOU DARE PUT THAT STINK BOMB IN..."

Harry heard a KABOOM! And then the whole room smelled rancid, making students flee from their beds. Harry, meanwhile, just lay there.

Yep, he was definitely home.