Harry Potter and the Poodle of Magic Alcatraz

Chapter 5

What if the Class did something else with the Boggart?

By

Jason Richard

In potions class, Snape yelled at Neville for messing up, so it was a pretty typical day for Snape. Harry was pretending to get his work done, though he was more focused on glaring at Malfoy. The Slytherin's body was in bandages, bragging that he could get Hagrid fired. You'd think getting attacked by a wild animal over and over again would humble someone, but apparently, Draco was immune to intelligence.

"Hey Harry," said Malfoy tauntingly.

"What?" Whispered harry.

"I'm surprised you've been so passive, given certain circumstances," said Draco. "If I were in your shoes, I'd be going out for revenge."

Now Draco was actually talking about Sirius Black, as he knew something about why the man was imprisoned. It was a tale of betrayal and murder, involving Harry's parents. Harry, on the other hand, didn't know what Draco knew and assumed that this arrogant, smirking Slytherin was talking about the incident with Buckbeak and his threats to have Hagrid fired. This made Harry scowl and Draco smile smugly.

"Oh believe me," said Harry. "I'll give you revenge. How's a punch to the face?"

Draco frowned.

Draco: "That's it? Seems a bit tame all things considered."

Harry: "You want something bigger?"

Draco: "Well sure. I mean a punch is pretty lame. Even you can do better than that."

Harry: "Oh is that how it is?"

Draco: "Well yeah, how do you think it is?"

Harry: "Fine. I'll come up with a really...really...really cruel revenge...if that's what you want."

Draco: "Sure. Whatever you say.

Draco thought to himself, man, Sirius Black is going to kill him. Harry, meanwhile, was thinking of all the cruel ways he could get back at Draco for what he'd been saying about Hagrid.

Both of them grinned maniacally.

…

So, Harry, Hermione, and Ron went to Professor Lupin's first Defense Against the Dark Arts Class. Fortunately, the three of them all had a good impression of him as he knew the remedy for a Dementor attack. Apparently, he had also fended off the Dementors when Harry collapsed, so that was a good sign that he'd know what he was talking about during this lesson.

The chairs were cleared from the classroom, and Lupin stood next to a large wooden box as all the students entered. Every once in a while, the box would rattle and shake, hinting at something sinister within.

"Welcome!" said Professor Lupin. "Welcome to Defense Against the Dark arts for your third year. Today we're going to learn how to protect ourselves from a very interesting little creature called a Boggart. Who here can tell me what a boggart is?"

Hermione, predictably, gave the answer. It was a shapeshifting creature that could take the likeness on whatever one most feared.

"Very good," said Professor Lupin. "And there's only one way to defeat a boggart is with this spell. Riddikulus. With this spell, you can change the boggart from something frightening, into something funny. Laugher, students. That's the key to defeating a boggart. Now, Neville Longbottom, would you come forward please?"

Neville stepped forward nervously.

"Now tell us, Neville," said Lupin. "What is it you are afraid of?"

Neville: "P...professor Snape."

That made the class laugh, though secretly none of the other students could blame him. Professor Snape was pretty strict. Lupin then told Neville what to do and Neville acted. When Lupin opened the door, letting the boggart out, Neville said, "Riddikulus," putting the boggart Snape into his grandmother's clothes, an old lady's green dress and a large hat with stuffed bird atop it. Everyone laughed at that.

"Alright," said Lupin. "Who's next?"

"Actually," said Harry with a glint in his eye. "Could Neville step up to the boggart again? I want to do some...ahem...ridiculous things to Professor Snape."

Lupin, "Oh...Harry, I really don't think that's a good idea..."

"Oh yeah!" said Another student. "Then I hex Snape next!"

"Then me!"

"No me!"

"I wanna hex Snape!"

Lupin: "Oh dear."

And so the parade began. Harry made the boggart Snape do the, "I'm a little teacup," dance, Ron made boggart Snape make fart noises with his armpit, Seamus Finnigan made Boggart Snape act like each of the three stooges in turn, and Dean Thomas made boggart Snape fly up into the air and make the Wilhelm scream before crashing his head into the ceiling.

Neville Longbottom had never been so popular.

But it wouldn't last. It was right as a student had professor Snape cluck like a chicken with his arms bent behind him, that a cold, slithering voice said, "Well well well, I hope I'm not...interrupting something."

The class went silent, and stared at the real Snape, all the while the Boggart Snape kept clucking.

Snape: "Professor Lupin, in the future I hope you will try better to keep your students under control."

Lupin, quite embarrassed, said, "I'll try my best professor."

Snape: "As for you, students, since every single one of you seems to enjoy my company so much that you'd make a boggart look like me, you can all get some quality time with the real me in detention for the rest of the week. That is all."

The room went silent, no one daring to voice an objection. Snape turned away and left the classroom. Harry waited a moment, making certain Snape was out of earshot, then gave the Boggart one last hex.

Harry: "Ridikkulus!"

And Boggart Snape gave a really loud belch.

Before anyone could laugh, real Snape shouted, "Two weeks detention Potter!"

Harry: "Dang it!"

Meanwhile, out in the hallway, Snape was thinking, "Harry pulled off a perfect Ridikkulus charm. Lily would be so proud!"