Harry Potter and the Poodle of Magic Alcatraz
Chapter 6
What if the Fat Lady ran off for a slightly different reason?
By
Jason Richard
Harry was disappointed that he couldn't go to Hogsmeade, but Mr. Dursley hadn't signed his permission slip to go to the little wizarding town, so Harry was left out. That meant he had more time to practice Quidditch, but still.
Ron and Hermione weren't very encouraging. They tried, but every five minutes they had another argument about Hermione's cat trying to eat Ron's rat. It was aggravating. Even so, he wished them a good time. The one good thing that happened was a conversation he had with Professor Lupin, concerning dementors. The professor, seeing that Harry had nothing to do, had invited Harry to tea, which Harry accepted.
"So tell me, Harry," said Lupin. "If you had faced the boggart, what fear would you have been presented with? I would have assumed Lord Voldemort."
"What?" said Harry. "That guy I beat twice? Why would I be afraid of him?"
Lupin, "He killed your parents."
Harry: "That just makes me angry. Actually, I was expecting the boggart to turn into a Dementor."
Lupin: "I see. That suggests that what you fear most...is fear itself. That's very wise."
Harry raised an eyebrow. That seemed like a dubious thing to say. He tried to picture what being afraid of fear would look like.
Harry's Fantasy:
Harry, Ron, and Hermione waited outside a house filled with vampires. They all shivered with fear.
Ron: "I'm afraid of the vampires."
Hermione: "So am I."
Harry: "I'm not. I'm afraid of being afraid of vampires. The image of me running away from them like a coward filled me with terror! I can't be a lily-livered weakling! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Harry ran inside and immediately got eaten by the vampires.
Hermione: "Huh. Being afraid of fear doesn't seem very smart to me."
Ron: "Agreed. Let's to the smart thing and run for the hills."
Back in the real world:
Harry: "Actually professor, I'm not afraid of fear. I'm afraid of a creepy creature in a dark hooded cloak that sucks the life out of people."
Lupin: "Oh. Well never mind then."
"Professor," said Harry. "Why do the Dementor's seem to affect me more than everyone else?"
"Dementors are foul creatures," said Lupin. "They feed off of our happiness, leaving us with our worst experience and most horrid fantasies. Which was it for you? The terrible experience of your mother's death?"
"Horrid fantasy, sadly," said Harry. "Draco Malfoy doing standup."
"Oh good lord no!" said Lupin.
They both shuddered.
"So what can I do?" asked Harry. "Can you teach me a way to fight them?"
"Well," said Lupin. "There is a spell to fight Dementors, but it's very advanced magic. Normally I wouldn't even attempt to teach it to a student until they reached their seventh year, and even then not every wizard has been able to master it. Even so, since the dementors seem to affect you so, I suppose It's worth letting you try it."
Advanced Magic? It would be amazing if he could master it as a third year. He could just imagine the looks on people's faces.
Harry's second fantasy:
As Harry waved his wand, a light shows of amazing magic danced above his head.
Harry: "Tremble at the might of the boy who lived!"
In the Corner, Draco Malfoy whimpered.
In another corner, Snape sulked.
In the third corner, Voldemort himself shook with fear and shouted, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Meanwhile, back in the real world:
Harry sat there, a satisfied grin on his face, as Professor Lupin just raised an eyebrow.
…
Harry headed back up to the Gryffindor common room, feeling a little smug about the special training he'd be getting. As he went up the stairs, however, he found a large crowd waiting outside. He quickly realized that all of them were Gryffindor's, which couldn't be a coincidence.
Harry: "What's going on?"
Seamus: "The fat lady's missing from her painting. We can't get into the common room."
Looking up Harry could see that it was true. Dumbledore was inspecting the painting in front of their common room where the fat lady usually rested, waiting to hear the password from students. She was gone, and a few scratches rested where she normally did. Dumbledore ordered a search for the fat lady, but Filch found her immediately.
As Dumbledore went up to her, finding her hiding behind a lion in a painting of Africa, he asked, "Dear Lady, what happened?"
The Fat Lady just shook her head.
…
Earlier:
The fat lady sat in the painting over the door to the Gryffindor common room. Sirius Black, the notorious escaped criminal, snuck stealthily up the Hogwarts stairs to the Gryffindor common room. He had gone there for a singular purpose.
To kill someone...with this knife in his hand...to slice them up into little blood ribbons!
Wow, thought black, that train of thought does not jive well with my innocence.
In truth, the circumstances around Black's imprisonment were not what they seemed. Sirius Black hadn't committed the murder he's been imprisoned for. Many would assume he was going to kill Harry, but he wasn't.
He was just going to kill another boy's pet rat.
And yes, Black was aware that this didn't sound much better.
Even so. His reasons were not what they might appear, but Black knew his reasons would look nefarious. Heck, it sounded nefarious in his head. If he was to get into that common room, then he would need an alibi to get past the room's guardian. Something more innocent then...well...kill murder and destroy.
So he decided to turn into a dog. Everyone loved dogs right? She'd see him, find him cute, and let him in so one of the students could adopt him.
The fact that this was the best plan he had made him very depressed.
So the little dog walked up to the painting and barked.
The fat lady went, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Sirius black changed back into a scruffy human with tangled hair and a beard and said, "Huh. Apparently, the fat lady is afraid of dogs. How I spend seven years in Gryffindor and not know that? Also, this means my plan was worse than I thought."
He sighed, scratching the empty painting in frustration.
…
"Dear Lady," said Dumbledore to the fat lady in the painting. "Who did this to you? Please tell me you didn't run from another dog again? This is the third time this week."
The fat lady hesitated, embarrassed, and said, "No...it was...um...Sirius Black!"
Total silence, and then children screamed!
Dumbledore: "SILENCE!"
Total silence again.
Filch: "Well done sir."
Dumbledore: "Thank you. Now dear lady, are you certain it was Sirius Black?"
Fat Lady: "Absolutely!"
Dumbledore: "I see. Well, that must have been an ordeal."
Fat Lady: "Indeed it was."
Dumbledore: "Well, while you're recovering from your ordeal we'll get someone else to take over for your job. In the meantime, all of the professors will be on high alert for the bloodthirsty murderer clearly lurking within Hogwart's walls."
All the students opened their mouths...
Dumbledore: "NO SCREAMING!"
All the students closed their mouths.
Dumbledore: "Very good. Well, goodnight."