Harry Potter and the Poodle of Magic Alcatraz

Chapter 12

The Further Adventure's of Snape's inner Monologue

By

Jason Richard

Despite Harry running as fast as he could Malfoy beat him back to Hogwarts, and before he knew it Harry had been called into Snape's office, which was easily the worst case scenario. He followed the sneering teacher reluctantly as he scowled at the ground.

Snape, for his part, wasn't pleased that he had to do this. He knew his muggle caretakers hadn't signed his permission slip and wasn't allowed to go to Hogsmeade. He felt sorry for him, but as usual, he couldn't let people know of his love for Harry's mother. So instead of giving Harry special treatment, he would go with his usual plan.

Overcompensate by being overly stern that Harry would hate him. That would work.

"Mr. Potter," said Snape. "We've had a very curious incident involving your head. Apparently, your head was seen just outside Hogsmeade. Interestingly, your head appeared to be separated from the rest of your body. I'm glad you seem to have found it again."

Harry: "Thanks. Can I go now?"

Snape: "No. Now, what was your head doing at Hogsmeade?"

"It wasn't," said Harry. "Malfoy must have been hallucinating."

Snape: "I never said it was Malfoy who mentioned this."

Harry: "It's always Malfoy who mentions things like this."

Snape: "So there have been things like this to mention in the past, have there?"

A pause, and then Harry said, "Um…no?"

Another pause, and then Snape said, "On a random hunch I'm going to tell you to turn out your pockets."

Harry hesitated and said, "I'd rather not."

A final pause and Snape grinned evilly. Irritated, Harry pulled out the blank Marauders map and handed it over.

"It's just a blank piece of parchment," said Harry.

Snape: "We'll see about that."

Snape put his wand on the parchment and said, "Reveal your secrets."

Then the parchment said out loud, "Shut up big nose!"

Snape frowned.

"Excuse me?" said Snape.

Harry: "It's just a zonko's…"

Parchment: "You heard me you big nosed, greasy haired, bat-faced Slytherin!"

Harry: "Please shut up."

Parchment: "Shut up yourself scarhead!"

Snape: "SHUT UP YOU FILTHY PIECE OF PAPER OR I'LL INCINERATE YOU!"

Harry was taken aback.

"You…" said Harry. "You didn't react this way when it insulted you."

On the outside, Snape was a cold mask of fury. On the inside, he was panicking. He'd almost let his secret out. Now what?

"Um…" said Snape. "It was a delayed reaction."

Harry: "Oooooookaaaaaaaaaaaaay."

"I mean really," said Snape. "Why would I be upset that someone insulted you. That would open an out of character rift in the time-space continuum bigger than the one Hermione opened when she walked out of a classroom in the middle of class."

Hermione, from the other side of the castle, could be heard shouting, "Oh would people shut up about that already!"

"Yeah don't give Hermione a hard time," said Harry.

"I'm a teacher," said Snape. "It's my job to give students a hard time."

"I thought it was your job to teach," said Harry.

"Yes," said Snape. "And one can learn a lot from constant hardship."

Harry: "Well then I'm learning a lot in your classes aren't I?"

Snape: "I'd hope so."

Harry: "So do I!"

Snape: "Good!"

Harry: "Good!"

All was silent for a moment as the two of them glared at each other, their eyes locked in an epic staredown as they both refused to blink first.

Parchment: "Wow, you two have issues."

Harry and Snape: "Shut up!"

There was a knock on the door, and Lupin entered, asking, "Is there a problem?"

Snape grabbed up the parchment and threw it at Lupin, storming out as he said, "You're the defense against the dark arts teacher. You deal with this. I'm through!"

And he slammed the door, breathing a sigh of relief knowing that Harry didn't suspect anything. Probably.

Back in the room, Harry said, "So Snape's was acting weirder than normal for a while there."

Lupin: "Harry, where did you get that map?"

Harry: "Uh…nowhere. How'd you know it was a map?"

Lupin: "Uh…no reason. Anyway, I'm going to take that into custody. It could cause a lot of problems if it fell into the wrong hands, especially if Sirius Black got it. It would lead him right to you."

As he picked up the parchment and walked off, Harry thought of something.

"Professor," said Harry. "I saw a name on that map that couldn't be possible. Peter Pettigrew."

Lupin's face grew cold. "That's not possible."

Harry: "I said that."

Lupin: "Trust me, it was worth repeating. Have a nice day."

And Lupin left, leaving Harry to wonder what that was about.