What was wrong with you?

You quickly climb down the stairs and barrel out of the building.

Krystal wanted to talk with you. You were just giving up an opportunity. And for what?

You didn't know.

Okay, well you did know. You were doing this protect yourself because deep down you felt insecure about any potential of a future in which Krystal freaking Jung and you could be anything. You felt scared because you already thought you might be catching feelings. Her being pretty did not help. You didn't want to sound shallow, but there it was. She was everything you ever wanted—wealthy, gorgeous, and popular. You weren't sure if you wanted to be her or wanted her. Regardless, you knew you admired her and wanted to get to know her better. But you couldn't chase her because you knew you'd do all the chasing.

In what world would Krystal ever want you enough to run after you?

Pipe dreams.

You wanted her to reach out and fight for you. Which, ironically, was what she did in her apartment, but you pushed that away. You guessed you needed her to desperately call for you, to stroke your ego and lock away your insecurities about your self worth.

In the back of your mind, you knew this wasn't healthy.

But who cares?

"Ow!"

You trip and fall flat on your face, skinning your knuckles sharply. You'd been walking so furiously you completely missed the curb and smashed into the pavement. Gingerly, you roll over onto your back and sit up. Luckily, there were no cars in the street at the time. Groaning, you pull yourself to your feet, feeling oddly stiff.

Sleeping while cuddling was hard.

No, you mustn't think about that.

"Man," you inwardly sigh, looking at your bloody palms.

What a perfect metaphor for your situation. You had been too busy caught up in your head when you fell off the edge of the sidewalk and hurt yourself. If you became friends with Krystal, the worst case scenario would be that she'd drop you when she found another boyfriend or group of friends and your feelings would get hurt. But, you'd have had some time with her. Would that be worth the pain in the end? Were you willing to live in the moment and worry about the fall later? What about the best case scenario? You quickly cut off that train of thought. You couldn't believe in whatever future your pathetic daydreams could conjure up. It would be better to set the bar low so you wouldn't be disappointed.

You morosely turn your hands over and over, picking out tiny bits of gravel. On the other hand, no pun intended, you think wryly, you've always lived life too carefully. You didn't trust people. You knew this fear, that people didn't really like you and would never like you, was your biggest flaw. For that reason, you didn't put yourself out there and try to make friends. And people don't try that hard for strangers. Victoria was the exception. She probably was lonely too and wanted to have a friend so she forced you to tolerate her.

No, you had to stop thinking like that. Victoria wanted to be your friend because of your inherent worth.

Did she?

Your mind is seriously messed up.

Your hands looked pretty clean now. Wiping them on your pants, you take a look around. You still stood in the middle of the empty street, about halfway between your dorm and Krystal's. Raising your foot, you step towards your dorm.

And then you turn around and sprint back the way you came.

Life's about taking risks.

You had to grasp at the opportunity because you didn't want to regret anything. Better to have lived than not at all, you think. Sure you probably would get hurt in the end once Krystal replaced you, but there was no telling what might happen if you actually tried to be friends with her. You'd deal with the fall out later.

Feeling slightly reckless, you quicken your pace, feet pounding the pavement. Where did this "you only live once" attitude come from? You'd always been living quietly like a wallflower, receiving chances as they sought you. Did you make the right choice?

Of course. You couldn't just wait for a princess to come to you. You had to go to the princess and fight the dragon. You had to fight your fear that this would all be for nothing because Krystal could—no—would be worth it. In fact, this didn't have to be Krystal. In that moment, you resolved that you'd make a greater effort to step out of your shell to be brave and make friends. Life was a series of ups and downs. Without any low points, you couldn't have high points because everything was a comparison. Living neutrally would not allow you to experience the full scope of life.

"Amber!"

You're jolted out of your reverie and slacken your pace.

"Amber slow down! I'm still hungover, Jesus!"

Krystal?

And just like that, your spirits soared.

You obediently come to a stop and watch as Krystal jogs to you. She pants and braces her hands on her knees, chest heaving.

"What are you doing?" you innocently ask.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm chasing you down to go get brunch. We can go to the dining hall. I don't care, I just want to talk to you," she grunts between gasps.

"But, why? And also you're severely out of shape," you tease.

"Shut up. Why? Because you helped me last night and I want to help you."

You feel a twinge of sadness. Was this just a barter for her?

"So you're only getting brunch to pay me back for last night? I told you, you don't need to pay me back. I wanted to help you. Don't pity me or anything," you snap.

Krystal stands up and angrily flings her hair over her shoulder.

"Excuse me. I said I want to get brunch with you so stop trying to put words in my mouth. And second, if I really just saw this as pay back, I wouldn't have run after you after you left, but I did. Because I want to get to know—well, never mind. Anyways, I would've caught up to you sooner but I had to put on clothes," Krystal retorts, a finger jabbing into your chest.

You can't help your grin as you glow inwardly. So she did chase after you because she wanted to help you for you, and not because of her conscience. Belatedly, you notice her outfit—a large white V-neck t-shirt with the front tucked into a pair of frayed jean shorts, a faded white hat on her head, and dirty white Converse sneakers.

She looked swell.

"All right all right, I believe you. Lead the way, princess."

She stares at you coldly but somehow her eyes still remain warm. You feel a slight flutter of hope stirring in your chest. Perhaps, you were someone others wanted to get to know, someone worth their time. Maybe you weren't such a boring burden after all.

"What?" Krystal asks.

"Huh?" you reply.

"You have that look on your face again. What are you thinking about?"

You take a moment to think of an answer.

"We can talk about that over brunch."

She opens her mouth to argue but seems to hold back.

"Right, well the main dining hall has eggs benny's. Let's go there."

You hated eggs, but in that moment, they never sounded more delicious.