Harry Potter and the Goblin of Fire Ants
Chapter Nine
What if Rita Skeeter went too Far...er…even farther
By
Jason Richard
Hermione walked down the corridor of the castle on her way to her next class. She hummed happily, eager for yet another chance to learn. She loved learning. She loved learning a lot. She would be quite annoyed if someone interrupted her.
Suddenly someone pulled her aside to hide behind one of the castle's tapestries.
"Hermione," said Harry. "Don't move.":
Hermione: "Harry, I have class, and I am quite vexed now."
Harry: "Shh! It's coming."
Hermione felt a chill go down her spine as she whispered, "What's coming?"
Harry: "Something horrible. A creature of pure darkness. A being that can reshape reality to suit its needs and leave its victims wallowing in a pit of madness. There! There it is! Stay silent else it finds us! Beware! Beware…the reporter!"
Rita Skeeter: "Oh, Mr. Potter! I just want an interview! So I can tell people personal details about your personal life and talk about immeasurably traumatic events like the death of your parents! Hello!"
Harry hit behind the tapestry in fear, while Hermione shook her head and rolled her eyes.
Hermione: "Oh Harry, it's just a reporter…"
Harry: "You don't understand. She won't stop looking for me. She keeps asking why I put my name in the goblet."
Hermione: "I thought you didn't."
Harry: "I didn't! She keeps overwriting what I'm saying, insisting that the death of my parents has motivated me to seek eternal glory!"
Hermione: "Harry, I'm sure you're exaggerating."
Harry: "Also, she put in the paper that you and I have an intense romantic relationship."
Hermione: "I'LL HEX HER!"
She pulled her wand out, and Harry gaped at her.
Harry: "Hex her? Why didn't I think of that?"
And he pulled out his wand, and they both left the hiding spot, evil grins on their faces.
…
In the Gryffindor Common room, late at night so no other students were around, Harry met with Sirius black. There was a flu powder entrance in the common room, and Harry talked with Sirius as he stuck his head out of the fireplace. The fact that the fireplace was lit while Sirius's disembodied head stayed there was somewhat distracting, but Harry didn't mention that.
"Wow," said Sirius Black. "I can't believe you didn't get detention for that."
"Nobody like nosy reporters," said Harry. "Even Snape wasn't upset with me, and he'll usually take any excuse to give me detention."
Meanwhile, in Snape's office:
Snape held up a picture of Lilly Potter.
Snape: "Oh, Lilly. I give Harry detention so much so I can spend more time with him, look after him as I know you would have wanted, but even I cannot justify giving detention to a student who hexed a nosy reporter that nobody likes."
He heaved a heavy sigh.
Back in the Gryffindor common room.
Sirius: "So you're going up against dragons this time. What's your plan?"
Harry: "Don't get burned."
Sirius: "Well, that's a good start, but what else?"
Harry: "I don't know. I have to get a golden egg from a nest, right? That means getting close to the dragon, and that kind of interferes with the, 'don't get burned' portion of my plan."
Sirius: "Well, I do know a spell that can deal with dragons. It's…wait! Someone's coming!"
And as Sirius disappeared, Ron walked into the room.
Ron: "Who were you talking to?"
Now Ron had still been sulking since Harry had been chosen as champion, and his sulking had really gotten on Harry's nerves, so Harry didn't really feel like confiding in Ron at that moment.
Harry: "I was talking to myself."
Ron stared at Harry flatly.
Ron: "Gonna tell me how you got your name in that goblet without the professors finding out?"
Harry: "I didn't."
Ron grinned and said, "Fine. Don't tell me. I can get back at you for not telling me."
Harry: "Wait, what do you…"
…
The front page of The Daily Prophet read: "Harry Potter speaks to Himself! The Boy who lived gone Mad?! Exclusive interview with Ronald Weasly and written by Rita Skeeter, even though she's in the hospital with a dozen hexes on her. Ain't she determined folks?"
Harry: "I'll kill him! And her!"