and the winner is...
"M'kay, so you're proposin' to your girl. So, whatcha need me for?"
Celebi munched on a quesadilla as Lugia explained.
"Mostly to get her here, and make sure nobody interferes."
He mumbled under his breath.
"Especially my kids."
Celebi swallowed another bite.
"Eh, I mean, I can try, but I dunno if I can stop somethin' like if Palkia and Volcanion start wrestlin' and fall on me or somethin' dumb like that."
The large bird nodded.
"That's understandable; some things are out of our control. But could you at least keep watch and stop what you can??"
The onion fairy finished off her snack and shrugged.
"What'll I get fer my services??"
The bird snorted through his nostrils in fustration.
*Accursed tiny Legendaries...*
Placing a wing over his eyes, he began to think.
An idea popped into his head, and he dragged his appendage down.
"How about a blind date?"
The green fairy, who had pulled out a bag of chips, paused and looked at him curiously.
"I'll set it all up," he continued. "Heck, I'll even see if Mew's interested and you both can go. A double blind date, if you will."
Celebi, resuming her pause, stared up at the ceiling in thought.
Her mind flashed back to several ice-cream nights, which had been becoming more and more often as of late.
She bit her lower lip as she pondered.
"A'ight, fine."
Ho-oh flapped her wings, struggling to keep up with the aforementioned Accursed Tiny Legendary.
"Celebi!! Slow down!!"
"You speed up, lady!! Hubby's waitin' for ya!!"
Ho-oh audibly groaned, trying to figure out why she couldn't keep up with a tiny fairy of all things.
*Must be the Shuckle Juice...really gotta lay off that stuff.*
Granted, that wasn't the only reason; last night, she could have sworn she saw Raikou scaling the wall of the Hall of Origin, and then making a series of noises that summoned a hoard of Noctowl, which carried him away.
...Yeah, she needed to lay off the Shuckle Juice.
Celebi came to a stop, pointing down.
"Welp, did my part. Hubby's waitin' down there."
Panting, the Rainbow bird looked down to find they were above the Whirl Islands, a small clearing sitting there.
Squinting, she could barely make out a tiny-looking Lugia waving up at her.
She was about to wave back when she felt herself get shoved down.
That left a crater.
Welp.
Lugia helped her out, the dizzy female staggering slightly.
"I didn't think you would fall for me so easily," He teased.
Ho-oh groaned loudly.
"That was...oh, what's the word the boys use...cringey."
"Aww."
He nuzzled her, and she returned the gesture.
"Now," She began, pulling away, ind explaining why you sent an onion to come get me?"
"I HEARD THAT!!" Celebi's voice boomed from above.
He sighed.
"Well, dear, there's something I've been trying to ask you for some time now...and every single time I've gotten interrupted."
He leaned his head onto hers.
"Dear, how long have we known each other?"
She blinked.
"Well, creation, I'd say..."
"Right. And how long have we been dating?"
Another blink.
"Well, since the last time you were awakened, and I'd say...10 years at best?"
"Right. Well, those were the best 10 years of my life. The only reason my life has been remotely good were you and my kids. But mostly you."
He inhaled.
"Ho-oh--"
Suddenly, the aforementioned onion dived down, forcing herself between their faces.
"M'kay, so ya know how we agreed there was some things I ain't able to control?"
"Celebi--"
She pointed up.
"I ain't gonna be able ta control that!!"
Both birds looked up.
"Control what?!"
"Just come look!!"
The two beat their wings and flew up, looking towards Kanto.
Their eyes simultaneously widened.
"WHY?!"
Articuno shot a glare at her sister.
"Molty, wanna tell Uncle why?"
The firey bird shifted, not meeting either of their gazes.
"Erm, well, not re--"
"MOLTRÉS."
She guiltily looked into Lugia's rage-filled eyes.
"Tell me right now," He snapped.
She gulped, then began.
"Well, er, you see...Zapdos and Mewtwo were playing some kind of dare game with Latios, and...well..."
She gulped.
"Mewtwo dared Zapdos to impersonate me, and he...er...well, was very rude when he did so."
Lugia's eye twitched.
"And you," He growled, "thought that it was appropriate to burn down all of CELADON CITY?!?!."
Indeed, they were standing in the charred remains of said city, the only places still standing a small café, the mall, and the Game Corner.
They shook with the massive bird's yell, but somehow held firm.
"Well, er...they also...eh..."
Her mind went blank for any other reason as to why destroying the place made any sense whatsoever.
"MOLTRÉS, THIS TOWN HAS A GRASS TYPE GYM. YOU HAVE FIRE THAT CAN GET SO HOT YOU COULD KILL A GRASS TYPE!! DID YOU EVEN CONSIDER THAT?!?!."
"Um...w-well--"
"AND FURTHERMORE," He continued, "I DON'T KNOW HOW, BUT THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO REBUILD THIS ENTIRE PLACE IN THE NEXT THREE DAYS, AT MOST. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COSTS?!"
"I--"
"AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, YOU DESTROYED THE ONLY PLACE EVEN ROMETELY RELATED TO A HOSPITAL!!!"
He shoved his wing in the direction of the charred remains of the Pokémon Center.
The flaming female cowered.
"Uncle, I--"
"ALL OF THIS OVER YOUR BROTHER BEING A MORON WITH HIS FRIENDS!! LOOK, I UNDERSTAND THAT IT UPSET YOU, AND THAT'S NOT OKAY, BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST TRIED TO TALK IT OUT INSTEAD OF CAUSING MAYHEM AND DESTRUCTION!!!."
He threw his head back and squaled angrily.
"I WILL NEVER GET TO ASK HER NOW!! NOT WITH THE FOUR OF YOU CONSTANTLY BEING A BUNCH OF--"
He snapped his beak shut, eyes snappind open at what he was saying and about to say.
He found his two daughters staring at him, eyes wide.
They turned to each other.
"Girls--"
"Articuno," Moltrès began, "Where did the boys go?"
"I think they yelled something about hiding from you in the Safari Zone," The ice burd replied.
"Alright. Shall we?"
"We shall."
They beat their wings and flew off.
Lugia called to them, his heart beating overly fast, but they were out of sight before he could get the first word out.
Beneath the Secret House in the Safari Zone, Zapdos and Mewtwo were huddled together under a blanket.
"Ey Two?"
"Yes?"
"I think we're too close tagether."
"What?"
"Shouldn't we, I dunno, be 5 feet apart or somethin'?"
"...What?"
Suddenly, the ground above them began to shake.
Both's eyes widened, and they straight up hugged each other.
"OKAY FERGET 5 FEET APART WE'RE GONNA DIE ANYWAYS!!!"
"I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND--"
"Wow Mewtwo, you're like a grandma or something."
Both heads snapped to the side to find Articuno had entered, flanked by Moltrés.
Both males promptly screamed again, hiding under the blanket.
It was yanked off of them by a cold claw.
"Chill out, she's not gonna murder you guys."
She shot a look at the flaming bird.
"Right?"
A nod.
"...Did you just make a pun?"
"Whatcha mean?"
Mewtwo's tail flicked.
""Chill out''. You're an ice type, so..."
The gears turned in her head, and she busted out laughing.
Once done, she snickered again.
"I'm hilarious."
She glanced around.
"Huh. Nice bunker, bro."
"Oh, ah, thanks."
Indeed, the bunker was extremely cozy, complete with some old tattered furniture, a few cots, and an overly large amount of canned corn, beans, and...
"What's with all the twinkies? Those things are disgusting."
Zapdos stood up, shaking himself off.
"Yeah, but they don't go bad, right?"
"...Not really, no. If the apocalypse happens they probably won't even get hit by radioactive energy."
"Exac'ly!!"
While the siblings talked about Zapdos's choice in bunker food, Mewtwo made his way over to a downtrodden Moltrés.
"Are you alright??"
She looked up at him.
"What??"
"I asked if you were alright."
"Oh."
She sighed.
"Not really, no."
If he could frown, he would; that wasn't happening anytime soon, so he deigned to show sympathy in his eyes.
"Was it Lugia??"
She blew some smoke out of her nose.
Zapdos and Articuno came over, the girls explaining what had happened to the boys.
"Oh boy..."
The two nodded.
"Can you rebuild Celadon real quick, Mewtwo?"
The clone snapped his fingers, and the place suddebly went back to normal, leaving many civilians memory wiped and confused.
"Wait," Mewtwo began, "Why did he say "Now I'll never get to ask her"...?"
Moltrés flapped her wings, shaking some dust from her feathers.
"We were trying to figure that out on our way here."
They each began shooting ideas; well, all except Zapdos, whose eyes crossed with how intense he was thinking.
They uncrossed suddenly and he squacked, wings flaring out.
"AUNT HO-OH!!"
The other three paused and looked at him.
He flapped his wings quickly, talking fast.
""Her" clearly ain't onna us, right? Er, onna you twos, I mean. An' he always talks about "her", but we norm'lly jus' pass it off as Aunt Ho-oh, right?"
Nods from his sisters.
"But what would he be asking her?" Articuno wondered.
Zapdos inhaled.
"What are Zekrom an' Reshiram to each other?"
Moltrés rolled her eyes.
"They're Mates for Life, of cou--"
She abruptedly stopped, mouth agape.
Articuno slowly realized what her older siblings already had.
"...Whoah."
Mewtwo tilted his head to the side.
"I thought they were already Mates."
The three birds shook their heads.
"Nah, Two. They been together, but ain't never, uh, "tied the knot", like Moltrés says."
"...Huh."
A tense air hung around them.
"...Do you guys...think he may have tried already?"
They looked at Articuno, who was thinking as she spoke.
"It sounded like...he had asked--or, tried to, at least. Maybe we...interrupted?"
All eyes went wide.
"...Crud."
"Oops."
"Well, that would certainly explain it..."
"Shoot..."
She rubbed the bottom of her beak with a wing.
"So, when he went off on Moltrés..."
"He was letting out all of his other rage from the other times." Her sister finished.
"Exactly."
Mewtwo flicked his tail.
"So what should we do? Apologize?"
"No." Moltrés replied. "At least, not by a usual verbal way. Besides, would it really be genuine? After all, he didn't tell us he was going to do this in the first place, never explained in other times (whenever they were), and, for all he preaches to us--especially Articuno--about anger, he still held all his in until it boiled over."
"Sis has a point." Zapdos agreed, shrugging.
"Oh, and he almost killed Mewtwo that one time."
Mewtwo shuddered, still glad he didn't wake up in a grave.
Then, Articuno had a grin spread across her face.
"You know...we could always...give him a push in the right direction, if you know what I mean."
The other birds looked at her before gaining a grin themselves.
Mewtwo felt pensive for a moment...
Then shrugged.
"Well, Why not?"
Y'all didn't think I was gonna give it to ya that easily, didja?