Thank you to those who commented and favorited and followed so far! They really brightened my day! This chapter starts to kind of give you an idea of how Katniss' life is now that she's won the games...and it's not exactly like the book. I apologize in advance for Katniss' mom...Hope you enjoy!

3, 2, 1...

I manage to keep it up until I catch sight of Prim whose tears are running down her face and I hesitate before throwing caution to the wind and running off the platform and enveloping her in a hug.

"Katniss!" she cries and I run my fingers through her thin malnourished hair.

"Im here, Little Duck," I manage to choke out.

Suddenly there are cameras all around me and people throwing a million questions at me.

One man with a creepy looking smile calls out," Katniss! Is there anything you want to say right now?"

The woman next to him shoves a microphone in my face, and I think, 'No, I don't want to tell you anything.' But I bite my tongue and compose myself. I sneak a look at Haymitch who nods slightly and I smile until my cheeks hurt and gush cheerfully," I just can't believe I'm actually home, with my family...it's so wonderful!"

"And do you have anything to say to the people in the Capitol who miss you already?" another woman with a bright green wig trills.

'I bet they do', I seethe internally, but manage a small bashful laugh," I just want to thank them once more for helping me so much. I wouldn't be here without them, so try not to miss me too much!"

I sound ditsy and annoying and fake, especially to my own ears, but she laughs garishly and replies," We'll try..."

I continue beaming until Haymitch thankfully ushers me towards a black car and shoves them all aside. I try and look apologetic for him, but can't help the rush of gratitude I feel for him. Effie hasn't gotten off of the train so I assume she'll be going back to the Capitol. He helps me into the car, and that's when I catch sight of curly blonde hair and a pair of bright blue eyes watching me sadly. I start to feel my smile waver slightly feeling like I've been found out but then Haymitch motions for Prim and my mom to get in, too, and I push the feeling aside.

Prim does so immediately, but Mom seems to hesitate. For some reason that makes me uneasy.

Prim beams at me through her tear streaked face," You came back..."

I laugh softly, the kind only Prim can get out of me," I promised didn't I?"

She looks at Haymitch and looks at him with her big blue eyes," Thank you, Haymitch, for bringing my sister home."

He coughs awkwardly," Sure thing, kiddo..."

I smirk and I feel the car stop right in front of the Victor's village. It's a separate community built on intimidating concrete, dotted with flowering bushes. There are twelve houses, each large and looming over us in a way our old house never would or could. Most of them are empty. Now one will belong to me.

Haymitch helps me out and puts an arm on my shoulder," Almost free, Sweetheart..."

He takes us over to a house next to his, and motions me forward where I open the door.

It looks just like I would've expected. It looks bright, too bright, and way too big for anyone. It looks too perfect, but it doesn't look like home. I already know it probably never will.

Haymitch clears his throat," Well, Sweetheart, I'll leave you to it."

I nod and as he turns to leave, I know that it'll be awhile before he's ever sober again.

"Katniss?" my mom soft voice brings me out of my thoughts.

"Yes?" I say turning towards the first word she's said to me since I stepped off of the train.

She hesitates before saying," We've already brought your things here. They should be up in the Master bedroom."

I nod and then ask," And what about your guys' stuff?"

Prim looks down and Mom stays quiet.

"Will you bring them later, or?" I ask feeling apprehensive.

She doesn't speak and so I turn to Prim," Prim, you guys are going to be staying with me, right?"

Prim looks at me with tears as she shake her head.

I turn to look at my mother sharply," Why not?!"

"I just feel like we would be a bother for you, dear," she says not really looking at me.

"You wouldn't," I insist not understanding what she was thinking.

"I just feel like you would be more comfortable here. Now that you're a Victor, we're not exactly-"

"You're my family! Everything I've ever done has been for you," I snap," And what about Prim?"

"I feel like she shouldn't be exposed to this type of an environment," she says," I'm sure that now, with your station-"

"I don't care about my station," I say," But I know that I want Prim to stay here. I can take care of you guys now. I have money and-"

"And I don't think that you-" she starts but then stops to take a deep breath," I just think you would be happier by yourself. You don't need to worry about Prim anymore. I made it through, just like I promised I would..."

I just look at her and look at Prim and then it hits me. The lack of eye contact, the excuses, her hesitation. It hits me right in the gut, and brings angry tears to my eyes and I hiss," How dare you."

She frowns seeming in pain herself," Katniss-"

"No," I say narrowing my eyes dangerously," You don't get to judge me, Mom. Not you. Not after everything you did. You don't get to judge me for anything I've done no matter how awful."

"I wasn't," she starts," I never said-"

I laugh humorlessly," You didn't have to. It's all over your face."

She stays quiet and I power on, the words spewing out before I can even stop myself," I did what I had to do to survive, and if you have the nerve to judge me for that, then I'm sorry for living."

"Don't say that, Katniss!" Prim pleads, but I shake my head tiredly.

"No," I say and look at my mother in disdain," I'm sorry if I disappointed you. Now we're even."

"Excuse me!?" she says looking at me sharply," I was sick! I couldn't control what I did-"

"And I couldn't control what I did in the arena," I say rolling my eyes," But if you're going to judge me for what I've done, go ahead. I can't- no , I won't, stop you."

She looks at me in sadness, like I've disappointed her for the millionth time, and I look away from it. She turns towards the door and walks out leaving Prim with me.

She wraps her skinny arms around me tightly and sobs into me. I can only stand there completely broken once more.

Prim looks at me through her tears," I tried to change her mind, but she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of this."

I shake my head and try to smile reassuringly," I wouldn't want anything to do with it either, Little Duck, so don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

"I'll try and change her mind," she promises me," We'll be at the feast later, though."

I shake my head," Don't worry if you can't. I'll be fine and I'll still help you whenever I can."

"Help?" she asks confusion written all over her face.

"I'll make sure you get food and I'll send you some money when I can," I say making a mental note to figure out how to do that.

She nods sadly and moves to leave. She turns around last minute and says," For what it's worth, Katniss, she did miss you."

I begin to shake my head but she continues," She was nearly sick with grief when you were reaped. Then she changed, as you changed. She became more distant, and she didn't like how you-"

She didn't like how I transformed from a girl who hunts animals, to other children, I summarize having guessed as much. Well, I suppose there aren't many mothers who would want to see their child become a monster either.

"I heard her say that you were gone" she says in a hushed broken voice," That you weren't the same Katniss. I think that's why she's doing this. She wants to hold on to the memory of who you were."

"But now I'm here and there's nothing any of us can do about that, Prim," I finish for her reaching out to dry her tears," Go home and I'll see you soon. Okay?"

She nods sadly and leaves, my mother having waited outside the door the whole time.

The welcome home feast comes too soon for my liking. I wear an uncomfortable but beautiful dress, with a pair of equally as uncomfortable but beautiful shoes, my face is slathered in makeup, and my hair is out in long waves down my back. Haymitch helps me out of the car that takes both of us to the middle of the square. I smile and wave at the cameras waiting for me, and probably squeeze the life out of Haymitch's arm, but he doesn't complain.

I am then helped up on the platform I stood a few weeks ago when I was reaped and give a small, scripted speech about how happy, thankful, and grateful I am for the Capitol's infinite generosity.

Thankfully, it's over before I can blink and I am seated at a table where my mom, Prim, and Gale and his family sit.

Mom looks at me with a tight smile," Say hello, to your cousins, Katniss, they missed you so much. "

Cousins? I don't have time to think over the absurdity of it all as I force myself to beam at them gush of how happy I am to see them.

I can feel Gale's unrelenting stare, which slowly starts to morph into a full on glare in Haymitch's direction. I suppose he doesn't like how silly I'm acting, but that just makes two of us.

He ignores me for the whole night, and I ignore him right back. I don't care about much anymore, and I definitely won't care about how awful or silly or stupid he must think I've become.

Madge comes up to me and hugs me," I'm so glad you're home."

I hesitate before hugging her back," Thank you."

We talk about random things like each others dresses, the people around us, the food, and how odd it all feels. How surreal that it's even happening and that it is all for me. Prim even comes to join us and I surprise myself by being able to laugh a bit and relax.

Madge then has to leave to go talk with other people but she makes me promise to visit her when I can. I surprisingly say yes and find that I mean it.

I then dance with my sister, the mayor, even some Peacekeepers. Cray had left me feeling a bit revolted. His hand traveled a bit too far down for my liking, but thankfully the song ended before I had to drop my happy facade.

My favorite, by far, was Darius. He smirked at me as he approached and held out his hand in an over exaggerated movement," Care to dance, Girl on Fire?"

I give him an annoyed look as he tried to sneak in a kiss to my hand. But he just laughs as I move to pull away my hand before he can do so and he pulls me onto the dance floor.

We dance and as he leaves he gently tugs on one of my curls, in the same way he used to tug on my braid. The gesture makes me begrudgingly smile.

Towards the end of the night, I see one last person come up to me. Peeta Mellark is standing in front of me, with his ever present smile on his face.

"Hi, Katniss," he says.

"Hi," I say at a loss for words remembering his impossibly sad eyes just a few hours ago..

Thankfully he doesn't seem to be as he asks," Want to dance?"

My feet are starting to hurt in my heels, but I don't seem to feel them much when I find myself lost is his impossibly kind blue eyes. I know that if I really didn't want to dance he wouldn't make me, unlike some of the others. For some reason, just by knowing that, I find myself actually wanting to dance with him.

And so I nod, and he gently leads me on to the dance floor where he takes my hand delicately, like it was made of glass. He holds me at a respectable distance and smiles happily at me.

He goes on to say how happy he is that I'm back, how amazing what I did for Layla was, and then, very shyly, how pretty I look tonight.

I find myself blushing slightly at the last comment, but smile sincerely and thank him quietly.

The song ends and he leads me back to where Haymitch is.

"There you are, Sweetheart," he says," We've got to go."

I nod feeling surprisingly a bit disappointed I didn't get to talk to Peeta, but push the feeling away," Okay."

Peeta smiles sadly at me," Goodnight, Katniss, Haymitch."

"Goodnight," I say and Haymitch just grunts in response.

I quickly find Prim and hug her tightly goodbye.

I then follow Haymitch and go back into the car. We drive in silence and the only time I acknowledge him is when he helps me out of the car so I don't trip on my heels.

He then stumbles into his own house, and I go into mine. As soon as the door closes, I feel my legs give out. I am on the floor staring numbly at the door of my new house, full of emptiness all around. I am alone. Truly alone, and try to find a reason to bother getting up from the floor. I try, but I realize I no longer have one. I'm not in the Capitol, I'm not going to be on camera for a good few months, and no one is here to judge me anymore. I can finally drown myself in my self pity and loathing and shut this whole nightmare out.

And I do. I drag myself to the bedrooms upstairs and open all the doors. I finally reach one where the closets are open slightly. I open them and dig through the stuff. I see it brimming with clothes already, mostly Capitol quality, and I shove it aside.

I find an old shirt of mine, the dark green color of the forest. I consider an old pair of jeans before finding a pair of impossibly soft black leggings. I grab them and shed the stupid dress off. I put my clothes on, braid my hair, and curl up into the huge bed that immediately seems to swallow me up completely as I sink into it.

I don't turn off the light, it's calming, and makes me feel safe. I don't know how long I stay there in a fetal position, but it feels like an eternity as I lay there almost unmoving.

It's a good 4-5 days before I am forced to leave my bed. I fall asleep at some point from exhaustion, but always wake up screaming. The next thing I know I'm being shaken awake by a loud gruff voice that can only belong to one person," Haymitch!"

"You okay, Sweetheart?" he asks in what could almost be concern.

I nod as I try to steady myself.

"Good," he says," because I'm here to ask where that family of yours is?"

"They're not here," I say looking down trying to push my oily stringy mop of hair from my face.

He narrows his eyes," What do you mean? Where are they?"

"Home," is all I say and I move to lay back down and hope he leaves.

He stops me and frowns," Why aren't they here, Sweetheart?"

I close my eyes and huff already annoyed at him. It would be a lot better if he stopped himself from caring," My mother didn't want to stay here. She felt it would be better to live in the Seam."

He looks at me carefully and then sighs," I'm sorry, Sweetheart, I didn't stop to think why they hadn't..."

"I'm fine," I snap and he laughs dryly.

"If by fine you mean stuck in a fetal position as you're being plagued by dreams of the dead's blood on your hands," he says humorlessly.

I look at him sharply," How did you-?"

"You think you're the only one who suffers nightmares?" he asks almost condescendingly.

I don't answer and so he continues," Well, you're not, and you won't be the last."

"How do you stand it?" I ask quietly.

"I don't," he mutters," You just get through it as best you can, numb yourself to the pain when you can, and find ways to distract yourself the rest of the time."

I look at him pointedly,"If by distraction you mean drinking yourself into oblivion-"

"I do," he quips with a smirk. It's so irritating that I find myself scowling at him like I used to do before the Games.

He notices and motions me to follow him," Go shower, you stink, and then we're leaving."

I glare at him," Look who's talking!"

He says nothing and then I sigh," Where are you going?"

"To get some food," he says," You're coming with me."

I shake my head tiredly," I don't want to."

He waves me off and practically drags me into the bathroom,"I know for a fact you didn't eat last night, and coincidentally, I didn't either."

"Why do you care?" I snap.

"Because," he says," If you really want to kill yourself, I doubt slowly starving yourself to death is the way to go."

And since I have nothing to say to that, I mutely shut the bathroom door and shower as quickly as possible. When I'm dressed I head downstairs where my head is already starting to hurt from dehydration. He hands me a glass of water, which I gulp down gratefully.

I then follow him into Town.

I get a few looks which could either be from being in Town or being seen with Haymitch. Either way, I try and ignore it.

Haymitch hands me a pouch of coins and a bag to carry things, but I as I start to refuse he brushes me off," They're yours. Not mine. Go wild."

He then walks towards the direction of the Hob where I can almost guarantee he'll be stopping by Ripper's stall. This makes me doubt whether he truly cared whether I got something to eat or just needed an excuse to stock up on more liquor.

Thinking it best not to think about it, I try and decide what to do. I look around me and try and think of what I need to get.

It feels weird being there with coins instead of game, but I try not to think about it. In the end I go off in the direction of the Hob. I could do with some of Greasy Sae's soup, which looks to be some kind of mixture of carrots and some unknown meat.

She smiles kindly at me," It's nice to see you back."

I nod and try to smile as I eat the soup.

She's wiping a few bowls as she asks me sympathetically," How are you holding up?"

"I'm just happy it's all over," I whisper.

"I know," says Greasy Sae. "But you've already gotten through the worst of it, I'm sure. Be happy."

If you only knew, I think, but don't say anything. She continues," So what're you doing here exactly?"

"Haymitch thought I should get out for a bit," I tell her," Get some food and stuff."

She nods," He still looking out for you?"

"In his own way," I say as I finish the bowl of soup and hand it back to her," Thanks for the food."

She smiles and pats my hand understandingly," Anytime."

I jump off of the counter and make my way aimlessly through the stalls. I get random things. Things like oil, flour, sugar, string, eggs, and so on. Some of them will be useful, like the eggs when I don't feel like going out, but am hungry. Others, like the string, are just so that I can spread my money out among the different stalls.

I consider heading home, but realize I don't exactly want to go into that big empty house until I absolutely have to. The pouch is still pretty full, so I make my way into town.

I stop by the different stores. I get some random fruit, sweets, and any random thing I first see. Some of the shop owners start to narrow their eyes at me as I enter before they seem to realize who I am, and the pouch of coins in my hand, and they immediately usher me in.

I then pass by one last shop. The bakery. I find myself outside the window, and stop to admire the cakes on display. They're every bit as detailed and beautiful as I remember them. Back when I would bring Prim to look at them. They also remind me of the Baker's son...of Peeta...

I am so lost in bittersweet thoughts and memories that I don't immediately react to a deep kind voice calling my name," Katniss?"

I start and stammer as I come face to face with none other than the kind gentle baker, himself," M-Mr. Mellark?"

He smiles gently," How are you doing?"

I try to smile back and find it surprisingly easy with him," I'm good."

He motions to the cakes," They're something, right?"

I nod," They're very beautiful."

"Would you like to come inside?" he asks," Or were you just passing by?"

I hesitate a moment but then realize a few loaves of bread wouldn't be such a bad idea, and I nod.

He puts an arm around me as he leads me inside the Bakery. I am suddenly hit by the wonderful smells of vanilla, butter, frosting, and so many other amazing things. I've realize I've never actually been inside. I would always trade through the back door, away from the Baker's witch of a wife.

He leads me over to their selections," Did you have anything in mind?"

I nod my head," I could use 2 loaves of bread, please."

He smiles and then asks," What kind?"

I'm about to ask for the regular, coarse generic kind, I would always trade for before I remember. I no longer have to trade squirrels for the cheapest loaves. I can get anything I want. The realization almost makes me dizzy.

I make my decision and then say," Two loaves of the white bread, please."

He chuckles and calls out," Peeta! Two white loaves, please!"

I freeze at his name and can't help but hold my breath as he walks into the front carrying a tray of different breads, from the kitchen I suppose," Here, Dad, two white-Katniss?"

I bite my lip as I remembers his bright blue eyes looking at me in sadness and concern just the other day and again when we were dancing and I can only just stammer out," Peeta."

"You know my name?" he asks incredulously as though the very thought was crazy.

"Of course I do, you danced with me at the feast," I snap and then add," We've been in the same class since Kindergarten!"

"Oh, I didn't mean," he starts with hesitation and then smiles," It's just good to see you again, Katniss."

I don't know why it would be, but I already feel bad for snapping at him. I can't exactly ignore the sheer happiness radiating from his smile and so I say," I'm sorry, and thank you, it's good to be home."

His dad clears his throat as he takes the tray from Peeta," Are these all of them?"

I take a look at the different loaves and buns and my breath catches in my throat as I point to one specific loaf," What's in that one?"

Peeta looks at me sad but hopeful as his dad answers," Raisins and nuts."

"Can I get one of those, too?" I ask softly and avoid looking at Peeta.

He nods and bags it for me.

"How much will that be?" I ask.

"10 coins," he replies cheerfully.

I take out the coins and hand them to him," Thank you."

He reaches over and places a cheese bun in my empty hand," And here you go."

"How much-?" I start to ask but he waves me off," Don't worry about it!"

I start to protest but Peeta only smiles reassuringly," Just take it, Katniss. It's okay."

I frown but am suddenly interrupted by a certain drunk who decides to put his arm around my shoulder and I jump," There you are, Sweetheart, you almost had me worried there."

"Almost?" I quip dryly.

He shrugs," Well, at least I'm being honest..."

I roll my eyes as he walks past me and asks for 2 loaves of bread, too. He pays and I take a hesitant bite of the cheese bun. My eyes widen and I instantly finish it in 3 more bites. It's so fluffy, and the cheese is so gooey. It is easily my new favorite food. Right up there with lamb stew, I think wryly.

I look up suddenly as I feel someone staring at me. My cheeks flush and he grins as he walks over to me," Pretty good, huh?"

I nod sheepishly," Yeah, but you probably already knew that."

He smiles wryly," And why would you say that?"

I frown slightly," You've probably eaten dozens of them by now to know."

He looks at me sadly and shakes his head," Not exactly. We never get to really eat what we bake."

"Never?" I ask incredulously.

"Not unless it's gotten really old or stale," he says and his expression is kind of shy.

My gut wrenches at the thought of this kind boy living off of the bread and goods too hard and stale for anybody to want. I realize with a sad start that the bread he burned for me, might have been fresher than anything he'd ever eaten, himself. I didn't think it possible to feel even worse for not having thanked him.

I open my mouth and say," Peeta?"

He looks at me expectantly," Yes?"

I bite my lip and look at Haymitch trying to decide what rolls go better with his white liquor," I just...thank you."

He looks at me, confusion very evident on his face," For what?"

I close my eyes and try to power on," You probably don't remember, but when we were 11, you threw me the two loaves of bread and you-"

"From when we were kids?" he asks incredulously," Katniss, its okay. You don't need to thank me. It was so long ago-"

"Exactly," I say not willing to back down," You may not realize this, but that bread saved me and my family, but I never thanked you for it. I almost never did..."

He closes his eyes as he seems to grimace in pain," Don't ever say that, Katniss, but you're welcome."

"If there's anything you need," I say," Just tell me, okay? I owe you."

He shakes his head gently," You don't owe me anything, Katniss, so don't worry about it."

"No, I do! There must be something you want," I say trying to reason with him. The sooner my debt is paid, the sooner I can go on not caring.

He hesitates before he smiles," There is one thing-"

"Anything," I immediately say.

He laughs and then looks at me hopefully," How about being friends?"

"Friends?" I stammer out.

"Yes," he says hesitantly," Unless, of course, you don't want to-"

"It's not that," I say but turn my head to the side," I just don't know why you would even want to be friends with me."

He smiles wryly and shakes his head," You still don't realize the effect you can have, Katniss..."

I frown but then decide I'm better off brushing that off," I still don't know what that has to do with anything, or why you would ever be willing to put up with me, but I suppose we could be...friends..."

He beams at me as though I've just given him something valuable and says," Good, thank you, Katniss."

I pause and am about to say something when Haymitch rings up his purchases and looks at me questioningly. I nod and turn to Peeta and his father," Thank you, and goodbye."

"Good bye, Katniss," the Baker says," Come by anytime!"

Peeta nods," See you around, Katniss."

I nod and Haymitch is already out the door as I follow after him.

As soon as we're far enough he asks gruffly," You and the Mellark boy, huh?"

I look at him sharply," Excuse me?"

He laughs as he takes a quick swig from his flask," I'd have to be blind not to have seen that."

"We're friends...now..." I say annoyed," Or at least he wants to be."

"Do you want to be 'friends'?" he asks carefully.

I think back to the list of people I have to protect from Snow already and wonder if I really want to add Peeta to that list and say quietly," I don't know."

"Well you'd better figure it out soon, Sweetheart," he warns, no doubt already knowing my train of thought," Before it's too late to decide yourself."

I nod and am about to head inside the gated community that is the Victor's Village with him when I see a familiar face racing towards us," Gale?"

Haymitch looks at me and at him and then shrugs as he turns and makes his way inside.

He rushes towards me and takes a cautious look at me," Catnip?"

I look at him tiredly," Right here..."

He laughs wryly and holds out his arms in question.

I hesitate but then accept his hug. It feels a little awkward, but not unwelcome.

He then takes a good look at me," What have they done to you over there?"

I grimace," You don't want to know..."

"Katniss," he says frowning," Of course I do. I've been worried sick and then you show up a completely different person. I didn't even recognize you."

I narrow my eyes at him," Well, what did you expect? I was in the Hunger Games. They tend to change a person...Look at Haymitch."

He glares at me," Is it true you went to Town and the Hob with him?"

I look up at him sharply," How the hell would you know? You ignored me the day I came back, and you haven't spoken to me since."

"People talk," he says ignoring my anger," I was just upset. Seeing you like that, was hard to watch."

"Well, then don't bother watching me at all from now on because that's going to be who I am from now on," I say with a huff and turn to leave.

He stops me and glares at me some more," Don't let them do this to you, Catnip! You're better than the stupid Capitol. You-"

"I am trying to survive, Gale," she snaps," I'm trying to survive in the only way I can, and if that's not good enough for you...then don't watch. My mom isn't, either."

"What do you mean by survive?" he demands all of his anger gone.

I look at him and then decide that I can't tell him anymore," Goodbye, Gale."

And I run back to my wonderful new home.

And that's the 2nd chapter! Don't forget to review, fav, and follow because I will try and update when I can. The next chapter you get to see just how much trouble Katniss is in...