IN TOO DEEP

CHAPTER 27

It's pretty hard to ascertain how Christian feels regarding his ex wife having plans to remarry her new partner. I'm dying to ask for more information, to ask especially how he feels on the matter and whether he's OK or not, only with Kate in the room, it's a little hard to. If I just come out and ask such personal questions in front of her, she's bound to know something is up after all. So all I can simply do is sit there, still where I am in the chair next to his, while Kate and him talk about fairly insignificant things that have nothing to do with anything of what I'm wondering about.

It's not easy, pretending everything is normal and that I don't know him on a way more intimate level than just as Kate's father. Throughout their conversation, my brain drifts off a little, conjuring up what happened last weekend at the hotel and, hopefully, what will be happening again this upcoming week at the hotel when we meet again on Friday.

I remember the last time... How he expressed his enamor in my breasts yet again. I feel a light flush spread across my chest, my face suddenly too hot.

He's sitting so close, yet... at the same time, so far away. His shoulder is inches away from mine, the fabric of his jacket not even touching mine, yet... his closeness is palpable, atmospheric, in the room. In fact, even at this distance with our chairs, I'm fairly certain I can smell him. He moves a hand on top of the table to his mug of coffee as Kate's voice drifts around me; those fingers that are so good at touching me and stroking my skin delicately playing with the handle on the mug.. How he'd run those fingers up and down my back slowly, tracing a pattern with them. Up over the curve of my shoulder blades. How he'd smoothing down the grooves of my collarbone that peek through my skin lightly with the pads of his thumbs.

"So your school work hasn't been too hard, then?" His voice, smooth and concerned, drifts over me.

The way he says my name. His spine-tingling little chuckles. How he calls me Honey.

"Anyway, I got to have a shower before I get to bed." Kate's murmuring. The squeak of the legs of her chair as she suddenly stands from the table.

"I've got an early morning tomorrow, so I can't stay up too late, Dad." Kate moving up behind me, squeezing past my chair.

I cannot wait to be surrounded by his smell again, all that is him and his warmth. Hopefully on Friday still at the Heathman.

"Thanks for dropping in though. Was a nice surprise. As was the gorgeous flowers too, Dad."

I come back down to my senses just as Christian stands from the chair beside me; I glance up to find Kate hugging him, his arms moving around her to hold her close, hands rubbing below her shoulder consolingly.

"Glad you are doing OK with the news," Kate murmurs softly into his shoulder. "I wasn't sure how to break it to you."

"I'm fine, darling. Don't worry yourself." His voice is barely an audible whisper as he pats her shoulder once, before he pulls back, separating away from her. But is he fine? I can't help wondering apprehensively. Is he really?

Realizing suddenly I have a performance to uphold, I stand from my chair briskly, playing Kate's thankful best friend, outstretching my arms to him.

"Good to see you, Mr Grey," I manage, although it's overwhelmingly hard when he moves in himself to return the hug, his arms coming around me.

With my arms around him, my hands resting on his shoulders, I feel the delicious taunt muscles of his shoulders, how protected and warm it feels to be wrapped around him- like it always does. I feel one of his hands run down my back slowly through my shirt lazily as I spot Kate behind his shoulder. She's facing the sink, tipping out the mug her father previously used for his coffee and rinsing it under the tap. As if knowing this himself, Christian's hand goes lower and, in a daring move that sends my heart somersaulting, he drops his hand enough to cup my backside once in a firm squeeze.

I can barely suppress the shocked gasp that escapes my mouth. But then, just like that, it's over with and Christian clears his throat hoarsely before releasing me and stepping a few paces back from me, putting distance between us.

I can't help wondering what Kate sees in my expression as she turns from the sink to us. Can she see how flustered I am by her father? Am I being obvious?

"Well, it was good to see you girls and see how things are coming along with the apartment." When I look at Christian's face, I can only feel envious at how good he is; He's evidently pretty good at keeping what he's feeling under wraps really well, because he gives no sign or indication of just what went on with his hand cupping a cheeky feel of my ass cheeks barely five seconds ago while his daughter wasn't looking in our direction. "I've got a busy week, Katherine, with a meeting in Florida this weekend so I'm not sure when I'll be able to see you next."

My belly muscles flop at the casual comment he's bringing up about a supposed meeting in Florida this weekend. Shit, does that mean meeting Friday at the Heathman is off after all?

"That's cool, Dad," Kate mutters reassuringly but no, it isn't cool, not for me. I need to see him. Doesn't he know that? "I'm gonna go take a shower, but call me again when you're free. I need to-" Kate rails off, distracted by everything she apparently has to do tomorrow, while, as for me, I feel myself on a silent verge of a panic attack as I stare at her father's face, trying to decipher it. This weekend is still on for us, isn't it?

Only it's hard. He doesn't bother sending a single look my way as he shows himself out of our apartment, a hand coming up to trail through his hair slowly. He disappears as I hear the front door open. As I see Kate out of the corner of my eye vanishing into her room and returning out into the hallway with a fresh pair of pajamas for her shower, I'm torn and split with indecision.

On one hand, I want to immediately rush after him to get the chance to clarify that this weekend is hopefully still on. Yet, at the same time, it would only be obvious with Kate noticing me rushing after him.

I bite my lip, my heart pounding as I hear the front door shut gently behind him. At the same time, Kate yells, "Won't be long, Ana" in the direction of our shared bathroom while she snaps the door shut.

The instance the bathroom door shuts and the loud buzzing noise of the fan inside the bathroom flicks on, my mind is made up.

Something like adrenaline darts through me as I dash towards the door of the apartment where Christian just exited. Trying to be as quiet as possible so Kate doesn't hear me, I open it slowly, peeking out into the hallway. And damn it, I'm too late. He's already gone. But I figure, knowing Kate and how long she loves to spend in the shower, I assume I have enough time to track him down.

Shutting the door carefully behind me, I set off, hastily walking down the hallway and towards the elevator. I press the button, biting my bottom lip anxiously. Hopefully I can catch up to him before it's too late. Hopefully he isn't already gone.

As the elevator at last dings and opens on my floor, I notice it's completely empty. I might be able to make it out in time enough to catch him.

Jiggling my knees a little in impatience as I wait for the elevator to descend down to ground floor, I can only hope he hasn't left in his car yet. As at last the doors open on ground floor, I dart out, walking briskly to the outside of the building. I glance across the street and... there, there his car is. I can only just see the outline of Christian's head through the tinted windows.

Before he can manage to get away, I check the coast is clear before working up into a light brisk job across the street to where his car is parked. I'm panting heavily by the time I open the passenger's side door and shove myself inside his car into the clean, spotless leather seat. I'm still breathing heavily by the time I slam the door securely shut, turning my eyes on the man with both hands braced on the steeling wheel loosely. I definitely need to work on my cardio.

"Jesus." I'm rewarded with that spine-tingling chuckle and a smile as he glances over at me, grey eyes wide in alarm, mouth hanging slightly open. "Ana, you just scared the fuck out of me."

"Sorry," I mutter, a very cathartic laugh escaping as my breaths seem to calm down seconds later. "I just had to see you before you left."

"What are you doing out here? If Katherine-"

"-Kate's currently in the shower and, knowing how long she takes, I'd say we have roughly around eight minutes to ourselves. So I think we're safe for a few minutes."

I think both of us sag in the chairs simultaneously in relief at that. Christian definitely seems reassured and convinced enough because, a second later, he reaches over in his chair with his hands. Despite how limited space there is in his car for movement, he manages quite well.

He weaves a hand through the back of my hair, pulling my face closer even although I'm still trying to catch my breath. I inhale in deeply through my nose as I bring myself forward over the console and he kisses me at last- a very welcome, very pleasant kiss, now that we're alone, his daughter upstairs in the campus apartment, a few meters away and blissfully unaware while I'm down here in the street in her father's car.

I hadn't exactly ran down and followed him out on the street into his car just so that he could kiss me, but I'll happily take whatever he's willing to give. Took him long enough to do it though, considering we did have a few moments by ourselves in apartment after all after Jose left.

I reach up, clasping his face, tracing around his jaw with my fingers as I return his kiss, my lips moving against his. But then with a groan, low and deep from in his throat, he leans back. As he pulls back slightly, our lips part, our eyes reopening to blink slowly at each other.

"This Friday, still?" I manage with a steadying breath, before I forget what the reason was that I practically followed him out onto the street in the first place. "Or do you really actually have to go to Florida this weekend, like you told Kate that you did?" I wonder if he hears the disappointment in my voice, the sadness in it.

"No." His voice is barely above a whisper as he shakes his head once; his grey eyes slowly roaming down my face, something shining in them. "I didn't really have to do anything this weekend in Florida." He rubs his thumb back and forth over my lips a few times, tickling them as something similar to mirth flashes in his eyes. "I just told her that as an excuse." He sounds as though he's trying his hardest not to laugh.

Unfortunately I'm a little less successful. A gush of a relieved giggle escapes me. "Oh, good then." It's hard to talk with the way his thumb is stroking my lips, but I manage. Even if it makes what he is doing tickle even more. "So still this Friday?"

Finally dragging his thumb beneath my chin, he leans across towards me again. He holds his mouth inches from mine just as he whispers "Still this Friday, I wouldn't miss it for the world" in confirmation breathlessly before he bends down, his lips pressing into mine again one last, final time.

He wouldn't miss it for the world? Well, ditto.

...

"This is nice," I murmur appreciatively as I sink down into the sudsy-jasmine smelling water as we take advantage of the large egg-shaped bath at the Heathman Hotel after meeting that Friday in the foyer.

We'd barely gotten settled into the room when I'd decided I wouldn't mind soaking in a nice warm bath. And apparently, Christian had the same idea in mind as I did...

"It's good then?" he murmurs, checking by plunging a sleeve-rolled up arm in to check the temperature near my legs. "Warm enough?"

"Mm-hmm," I murmur, leaning my head back against the hard porcelain with a sigh. "It's perfect."

He stands over the bathtub, switching the running faucet off once it's full enough, still dressed in the white business dress shirt and trousers I met him in, but his shoes and socks off.

I'd been waiting for this eagerly all week and, finally, it's here... Pity it couldn't have come sooner.

Christian stares at me for a moment as I reopen my eyes to look up at him, the bathroom a little steamy from the glorious heat in the bathtub. It's funny; I never imagined I'd ever be doing this. Being completely naked, in a bathtub near someone else. And yet, I've noticed as it always is with Christian, I feel utterly relaxed and at ease. I do wish he'd stop staring though.

"Are you coming in?"

And that's all I really need to say.

Christian reaches down in front of him, plucking open the button and yanking down the zipper on his trousers. He discards them quickly along with his briefs, and makes a start on unbuttoning his business shirt. As he turns a little to reach down, grabbing his trousers to fold them neatly off the floor, I get a delicious side view of that very nearly perfect, unmarked backside of his. He truly does have a wonderful-looking butt.

I must accidentally make a humming noise in appreciation of the view, because he turns to look down at me while tearing his arms out of his shirt. He arches his eyebrows at me as he stands there, completely naked, something wild in his eyes. "What's that noise for?" he dares to ask, but I think he already knows the answer to that. He's just teasing me.

"I think you already know what that noise was for."

"Do I?" Instinctively, I swoosh my legs to the side as he climbs in with his bare feet. "I'm not so sure I do know what that noise was for, Anastasia?" He sinks down as I make more space for him, and the water rides up and sloshes. "Maybe you'll have to tell me?"

I don't know how he does it, but he manages to make me feel all blushy. "Hmm, I think you're just playing pretend on purpose, Mr Grey. I think you know exactly what that noise was for." I know he knows. He's just trying to make it painful for me. I can tell he is.

The egg-shaped bath turns out the ideal shape for two people. It isn't squishy at all. We manage to lay side by side in the water, Christian's feet nudging the side of my thigh while mine does his.

"Tell me." His eyes flash with mirth and I can tell he's trying his very hardest not to break into a smile. So he is trying to make it painful for me...

"I believe I've already told you how much I liked the sight of your backside, but OK, fine, if you really need for me to say it out loud..." I can barely hold his gaze while saying it. I don't know why admitting it makes me feel so shy, but it does.

He gives me one of his spine-tingling short chuckles as, suddenly, I feel one of his hands under the water stroke around one of my knees. Since it's so sudsy in here and I can't see anything below the water, it startles me.

"Sorry," he murmurs, obviously having noticed the way I'd jolted a little at his unexpected touching. "Didn't mean to scare you, honey."

We fall silent for a few moments, enjoying the heat of the water, the way it soothes muscles and the pleasant jasmine smell that wafts around us. His fingers keep up their stroking beneath the water, circling around my kneecap. It almost tickles.

"So, how are you?" I manage quietly, the one thing I'd been dying to ask him about ever since his unexpected visit to the campus apartment last week.

Christian takes a second to answer. He brings his other hand that isn't stroking my knee from out of the water, and he lifts it up, running his damp sopping wet fingers through his hair. It makes some of his hair lay flat, darker from water. "How am I?" he repeats slowly. "I believe I've already answered that the instance we met downstairs in the foyer, didn't I?"

I realize he's misunderstood me. I wasn't meaning so much how he was in general, but more so... about the other thing. About the news Kate told him last week. About the news of his ex remarrying.

"I mean about with... what happened last week?" I have no idea how to say it. I think I'm almost afraid of upsetting or even offending him.

He blinks at me blankly for a moment, his fingers trailing through his hair again. "With what happened last week?" He sounds confused. "What did happen last week exactly?"

"With... you know." I swallow nervously. How do I know how to even say this the right way? "When you called in to the apartment for a visit? With how Kate said about-" I hesitate, trailing off into an uncertain silence. Surely he hasn't forgotten about it, has he?

But then a fleeting moment later, I think he gets it. Something like recognition flashes in Christian's eyes. "Oh. You mean with the news?"

"Yeah. I wanted to ask you about it, but... with Kate there in the room, it was a little hard properly to?" I try to read his expression carefully, only he isn't giving much away. Strands of his hair stick up unkempt from the way he ran his wet fingers through it, a small bead of water rolling down the side of his temple. It's impossible to know how he feels over me bringing it up. "Are you feeling... OK with the news, I guess?"

Suddenly, he reaches down, grabbing onto my entire foot. He pulls it up a little, propping it up against his knee as his fingers slide down around the arch of my foot. Massaging me. He's massaging my foot now, I realize. While it feels heavenly, I can't help wondering if he's doing it on purpose to distract me. Maybe he hopes he can evade talking about it?

"So that's why she asked you to call her last week?" I prompt when he doesn't say anything. "Because she wanted to ask if you would be OK that she's getting married to her partner?"

"Pretty much, Anastasia, yes," he simply murmurs, his eyes on his hands as they deftly work at kneading my foot pleasantly. It's sort of distracting; Only because it's rather sensual, the way his large hands move, how strong his fingers are.

He really isn't giving much away at all. Christian tilts his head up towards me, his grey eyes shining with something in them as he continues massaging my foot. I almost have to squelch my lips together to stop the blissful sigh from escaping me. He's actually really good at giving foot massages.

"Feels good?" he murmurs, something there in his tone that tells me he already knows the answer to that.

"Mm," I admit, a short sigh escaping me as I tilt my head back a little. "It does actually feel really good. But still."

He clearly doesn't want to talk about it yet so I try another tactic of diverting the topic onto something else. I think back to at the apartment, how he'd intruded in on me and Jose while I was attempting to help him study. He also obviously caught Jose attempting to lay the moves on me. I cringe inwardly at the thought. It was rather embarrassing that he had, yet... undeniably, it was interesting, Christian's reaction and moodiness afterwards.

"When you came over that night to see the apartment..." I begin, cringing. "How you came in and saw me helping the guy from school Jose with an assignment?"

It seems I'm effective at winning his attention, because I notice Christian raise his head to stare intently at me, his eyes narrowing, focused on nothing but me as he resumes doing that heavenly thing with his fingers to my heel and toes.

Apparently I don't need to bother elaborating further to spark his memory of what I'm hinting about; I can see it in the sudden tenseness around his eyes and forehead, in his jaw, "Yes, Ana, I remember that night," he mutters, and there's something weirdly aloof about his tone. "What about it?"

"Well, how much did you catch?" I ask nervously. "I know clearly you helped yourself into the apartment because it was unlocked, but did you, um, happen to-"

"-You mean did I catch the way he was attempting to throw himself at you?" I feel my face flare with heat. Oh, great. So he did catch that after all. "And how he was telling you how he thought you were the prettiest, coolest girl?"

Damn. It's like a mortifying nightmare.

"I hadn't expected him to do that, just so you know," I get out hastily, suddenly feeling the need to explain. "I had no idea whatsoever that Jose had any sort of feelings for me like that."

His eyebrows arch a little, and his head shakes. It's as if with the silent look alone he's saying, Oh, really? Are you that blind? And maybe I am.

"If I had known his intentions ahead of time, I probably would have never invited him to the apartment to help out," I add quietly, eyeing him seriously. "It was really awkward and embarrassing because... obviously, I don't feel that way about him."

"Ana, you don't have to feel the need to apologize or explain yourself over what happened that night."

"I'm not apologizing," I protest quickly. "I just wanted to make that clear."

"If anything, I ought to be the one explaining myself," he breathes, and fingers slipping over my heel, he lifts it up suddenly out of the water, my foot dripping. "I ought to have known better."

"Known better?" I shake my head, at a loss.

"For how I reacted, especially at my age." Eyes on me and hand still grasping me by the foot, he lifts my foot high enough and leans forward, tilting his head. I can hardly remember how to breathe when he opens his mouth, allowing his teeth to skim and gently bite into my big toe. It feels surprisingly good.

"How... how you reacted?" I can barely even get my voice to sound right; It's too squeaky, too gushy. He does it again once more before letting my foot go, releasing it back into the water. My breath hitches.

He sighs loudly through his nose, a solemn look overcoming him, one that seems almost embarrassed. Or ashamed, even. "I don't know if it occurred to you or not, Anastasia, but... I felt jealous," he breathes out under his breath, his voice barely above an audible sigh.

Jealous? He actually felt jealous? "Really? So that's why you were acting so... different than night? It was because you felt... jealous?" I can hardly believe it, let alone wrap my head around the fact. I feel a curious mixture of both shock and relief that he felt that strongly.

Suddenly, it all makes sense. And OK, I sort of suspected that he possibly may have felt threatened. But to hear him actually confirm it out loud!

"Don't laugh at me," he murmurs, a voice half a growl suddenly full of warning. But it's a playful warning, I think.

"I'm not laughing." Or am I? "But so when you said you didn't like it, how it made you feel-"

"-I was referring to the jealousy," he confirms, with a brisk nod.

But wow, OK. He was jealous.

"I thought I told you not to laugh at me?" That growly voice is back, filled with warning. And then he moves. Fast and sudden.

I cannot help my squeal of shock as suddenly he swishes forward, splashing water over the edges of the tub. Before I know it, he's grabbing me- playfully... teasingly, I think- and he manages to get me with both arms around me, holding me close into his side, pressing my back to his chest as his long legs wrap around mine, holding me confined, pinned to him. Water sloshes and slides everywhere, he makes a noise that resembles a growling lion from the very base of his throat, and I can't seem to quit shaking with uncontrollable giggles.

We only settle down once I remain still wrapped tight in his arms, against his chest, his knees bent and feet over mine beneath the water. His face, his nose, it's in my damp hair as he inhales in shakily. I think he's laughing himself.

"If this is the type of punishment I get for sort of laughing at you, then sign me up for it," I mutter, once my breath returns to me and my giggles fade.

"Oh, you," he whispers in my ear in that playful growling voice again, and his nose nudges my earlobe. "But seriously." He inhales in deeply, his lips moving against my ear. I feel myself shudder. "I know I'm old enough to know better, but... still. Old men aren't immune to feelings like jealousy or feeling possessive, try as they might."

The thought of him feeling possessive over me, jealous even, and that he could even begin to feel that way about me... Is it wrong I find it sexy?

I come back to that other thing, the one thing he left unanswered before. Somehow, I feel much more confident in broaching the subject now that he can't see my face and I can't see his to read his expression. Somehow, I feel braver now that he's resting the side of his face against mine, while he holds me tight against his chest in the bathtub.

"You know, you didn't answer my question before? About whether you truly are OK or not?"

He's silent for a moment behind me, his nose simply stroking my cheek. Maybe he's even trying to figure out the best way to answer?

But then he says, gravely and without any playfulness whatsoever, "I think you already know the answer to that."

"Do I?"

"Mm," he breathes deeply, and I feel his stubble scrape against my temple as he lays a soft kiss there. "If I wasn't OK, do you honestly think I'd be here right now, doing this, with you?" He kisses me once more on my temple, then he glides his lips... kissing me in other places as well. My cheekbone, the corner of my eye. The side of my mouth. My pulse races. "She's moved on to start another part of her life and... I've moved on, too."

"With me?" I'm all breathless and out of control.

"With you," he confirms softly. He reaches over me with his left hand, catching my chin in his hand. He moves my head a little, turning it with just enough force as he leans back in the water so that he can meet my eyes. The look in his expression, the shining emotion in his eyes, it takes my breath away. "I love you."

My breath stops. Hell, I think my entire world even stops. Did I just hear what I thought he said?

Eyes still holding mine, fingers still gripping my chin gently, Christian nods once at me. "I've known it for a while now, I just... wasn't sure whether to tell you or not. But I know it."

I try to twist slightly in his arms, and he lets me, loosening his hold around me a little. I turn so that I can face him properly in the water, billions of emotions surfacing through me at his words. "You-"

"-I do," he admits, and he slowly reaches up to stroke what is probably one of my very red cheeks with the back of his knuckles. "That's why I can tell you that I'm OK, that I don't care whether she moves on with her new partner or not, whether she marries him. For a while there, before this started with you, I wasn't sure I was going to be... OK ever again."

The realization hits me thick and profoundly. He's truly going to be OK. He actually loves me.

My response is easy as breathing, something natural, "Well, damn. It's funny because I... I love you too."

"Which makes it a little... fucked, because I am your best friends father," he whispers, but in a sardonic way, to lighten the mood, I think, to inspire a little irony. "I never once thought this would be happening, with my daughter's friend of all people, yet... here we are."

"Ditto, here we are," I murmur back breathlessly.

Now we just have to figure out where we go from here and, what's more, what happens with his daughter and my best friend.

HEY ALL,

SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE AGAIN. I'M HAVING TROUBLES WITH THE TENDON IN MY FINGER AGAIN SO ITS TAKING A WHILE FOR IT TO MEND SO I CAN WRITE BETTER. HOPE YOU WILL ALL FORGIVE ME AND THAT A DECLARATION OF LOVE SOMEWHAT MAKES UP FOR IT ;) SORRY ABOUT REPOST OF CHAPTER LOL